More on seeing the kidsSo, yesterday I got a unpleasant surprise when I opened a letter at my mom's place, as the kids mom had gone to the authorities, to force me to pay for her expenses on the court case we were in regarding the kids.
So I'll have to go through a process documenting my income, expenses and belongings so that her claim can be fulfilled.
My understanding from my lawyer was that expenses regarding the trial would go via him, and we've sought to cover both my expenses and the kids mom's expenses from the state.
As far as I know, the kids mom is well off financially, with an above average income and millions of kroner (NOK) in fortune.
Since the summer 2013 I've had significant expenses for seeing the kids, and the law is that these expenses should be divided between the parents, according to income. I don't have much income, as I've been sick for a long period of time.
Expenses for me seeing the kids was something the kids mom and her lawyer agreed to find a deal on, after the day in court, after the judge had left the room. I think that since the day in court, I have not heard or seen one constructive thing regarding expenses for me seeing the kids.
So I think this shows a couple of things. Either my lawyer has made a mistake, or the kids mom is stepping over a line. I wouldn't be surprised if the kids mom did step over a line, as she has been been threatening, harassing and assaulting in the past.
To make things more interesting, I thought my last visit with the kids went well, and asked the supervisor from the state if she saw any reason why the kids mom should be present in the house, on a text message after the visit. She has responded to my earlier SMS messages, but this time she did not give any reply and that's been almost 2 weeks now.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [21 Apr 11:50 Europe/Oslo]
Struggling in the Norwegian welfare stateSo it's been a while since I got severely ill, and since then I've struggled to make things and ends meet. I thought things were getting good and was looking forward to the spring and summer, but this Easter an old substitute tooth loosened and took with it some of the foundation, and it feels like the foundation is cracked as well.
The cracking has me a bit worried, as I don't know if it can cause sores or infections (I talked briefly with some professionals today).
Anyway, since I've been sick, medicated and everything for a while, I'm not getting a lot of money from the state to get by, and in addition to that, they want me to pay child support for my kids, even though I only get to see them 4 hours every 6 weeks, and are forcing me to pay money now.
I stopped by the state service today (NAV) to get some help sorting out financing fixing the tooth, and even though I had things written down, things still seemed difficult for the clerk helping me out, so I got tired of it and basically asked for a written response to my written request and documentation. I later sent an email with price quotes.
It feels like some sick joke, that I have to make by with little income and then struggle when I get a problem with my teeth that could lead to complications. In addition to that I'm working on getting off the medication (but have paused that for now because of all this) and I don't get to see my kids.
How much shit is a person supposed to take? I've paid my taxes.
[Later same day..] Now I went to check on my clothes in the dryer, and the dryer was off and the clothes were dry. I heard it starting up earlier..
It seems many small things are not going my way these last couple of weeks.
[Later same day..] Clothes were NOT dry.
[Even later same day..] I emptied the water container before starting it up, and it is almost brand new. I'm not sure if it is a failure, some clown having fun, some clown doing something he or she shouldn't be doing or somebody asking someone to do something.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [31 Mar 18:22 Europe/Oslo]
More on seeing the kidsSo, I got to see my kids this 27th of February, following the visit the kids every 6th week agreement laid down by the court.
After seeing the kids, the state supervisor said that the kids mom wanted some changes in the schedule, to accomodate holidays I presume. To be on the safe side, I've contacted my lawyer about it and I'm waiting for a response there.
But it is now about 2 months since I contacted the kids mom via email, as I want to see the kids more, and the oldest kid has expressed that he wants me to visit more often. This last time I visited the kids, they both said that they wanted me to visit in kindergarten / school as well.
So the kids mom doesn't want to communicate to me on email about seeing the kids, but she can communicate via others to get changes in the schedule for me seeing the kids.
That's interesting enough, but this morning I was thinking about the trial again, and the report from the court-appointed mental health specialists. The report was very favourable towards the kids mom, and even the people from kindergarten said that me being there visiting the kids was awkward and inappropriate.
I thought the visits to the kids kindergarten went OK, but I guess I might seem a bit lethargic due to the medications I was on. I thought one of the guys there who showed me around seemed very nervous and anxious, I don't know what the reason for that was.
But, interestingly enough, a (I guess close) friend of the kids mom works in the kindergarten, her name is Elisabeth Bjørnådal and the kindergarten is Mjølan barnehage. It might be that she has coloured the perception of me there, or that someone has pulled some strings to get the kindergarten to say what they did to the court appointed mental health people.
In the break-up period with the kids mom, I remember though that the kids mom said something along the lines of me just using her to have kids to this Elisabeth. On the other hand, for example my mom has said to me that she thought that I was just sad about the break-up etc. - same as the mom of the kids mom said to the court appointed mental health professionals.
So it seems that there may be different perceptions of me in this whole thing, and I'm not sure who's mostly responsible for that but there is an obvious person or group of persons that could have something to do with it.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [16 Mar 05:09 Europe/Oslo]
More on seeing the kidsSo I went to trial last summer, to get to see more of the kids.
One of the things the kids mom has been on about, is that I've been mentally ill (which is true), but so much that I couldn't be alone with the kids, or rather that she had to be there whenever I was to be with the kids.
The kids mom been playing that card for a long time, and the last time I saw the kids, she had to meddle about something that I could have sorted out with my oldest son myself, so in my opinion she's using the kids to keep some contact with me, what the motivation for that contact is, I don't know, but obvious reasons could be to establish a relationship, even though I don't want to have anything to do with her, in any way.
And I've made that perfectly clear, many times.
Anyway, when I went to trial, I remember the kids moms lawyer saying something along the lines of documentation about my mental health from my therapist hadn't been submitted to the court.
In my email records I can see that a document regarding my mental health had been sent to the kids mom and her lawyer towards the end of 2013, and that document is here:
It says clearly that nothing in their treatment of me has given them reason to contact other authorities, regarding me and my kids. And therapists are bound by law to give notice if they discover something of concern.
I sent an email to the current lawyer of the kids mom, Anne Fladvad working at Advokathuset Helgeland, and will see what she has to say about this.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [12 Feb 05:07 Europe/Oslo]
Talking about my music on the internet (freak.no forum)So, I've been on different forums talking about my music, and I'm having some issues on the freak.no music forum.
Long story short, I think a lot of the feedback on the forum has been laced with unecessary negative remarks, and I've talked up against that.
So it seems that if other posters on the forum talk shit in threads I start, the threads get dropped. Which seems unfair.
There is also a very loose rule in the forum which says that the admins can do whatever they want, which is a bad rule as it gives too much power to the administrators and as such, is of course abused or misused.
Here's the discussion I had privately with one of the admins:
And yes he/she did OK that I posted this to my blog.
And the last thread I started which got deleted:
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [07 Feb 16:21 Europe/Oslo]
Failure to communicate and collaborate (seeing more of the kids)So, I've blogged now and then about my issues seeing the kids, and the kids mom that isn't cooperating.
Two weeks ago today, I sent an email to the kids mom, as well as the family mediation unit where she lives about seeing the kids more often, but neither the kids mom or the unit has replied.
The email I sent the kids mom about seeing the kids more is here:
The email I sent to the family unit in Mo i Rana (commune) is here:
I think it's a bad thing that neither the mom nor the family unit are able to communicate when I want to setup something to see the kids more often.
Interestingly, I sent an email to the kids mom on the 19th of January, to which she replied on the 23rd of January:
Telling me a little bit about how the kids are doing. So she is reading email.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [02 Feb 17:32 Europe/Oslo]
Getting to see my kids on a regular basisSo, I've gotten to see my kids a couple of times now, and that's nice.
It's good to have a steady and predictable schedule for seeing them, and the supervisor that's there from the state is a good person to have around, as I have issues being alone with the kids mom.
So I get to see my kids 4 hours every six weeks now, and although I enjoy being with the kids and being there for them, every time I get back home it is a bit sad to know that it'll be 6 weeks until I see them again. I don't know how they feel about it after I leave, but I know they want me to be there more often.
I decided a couple of weeks ago to go another round in the court to get full custody of the kids, as I have doubts about how the kids are doing and how they'll turn out when they're older. The previous trial was also a bit poorly prepared from our (me and my lawyer's) side, so I thought it all was a bit unfair and the wrong things were considered and put weight on. And I'm sceptical about the report from the court appointed mental health professionals which concluded that the kids mom had no narcissistic or sociopathic traits (too good to be true for a lot of, if not most, people).
The trial was in June 2015 and the verdict said the first appointment for seeing the kids was the 1. of August, but that fell through, as did the next appointment. I've blogged about that earlier: http://blogologue.com/blog_entry?id=1441623208X02
It's not peaches going another round in court though, as certain things are stacked against me. For example the status quo principle that the situation for the kids should not be changed is important, so even though the sum of the other parts are in my favour, it might go the other way anyway.
I've thought a bit about this, and when the first kid was born I became psychotic, and was under treatment and heavily medicated when me and the kids mom split up in the start of 2013. So I had enough to deal with at that time, and was probably depressed and tired after the psychotic episode as well as the break-up, and wasn't able to muster going to trial. I also couldn't be alone with the kids mom, so seeing them became difficult.
So I guess it's a wait and see thing, to establish a good relationship with the kids again and then go another round in court.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [19 Jan 11:09 Europe/Oslo]
Halfway there..So, I reached a bit of a milestone. Because of mental illness I've had to take some heavy-duty medicine for some time, and at the most I took 800 mg of Seroquel per day.
Today I'm down on 400 mg per day, which is half of that, and I can say I'm quite happy about that. The medicine has short- and long-term side-effects, and on a very long term view, side-effects can also include diabetes and heart disease.
I'm glad that there has been treatment available for my issues, and I can say that today I'm feeling much better than I did 5-10-15-20 years ago.
Here's to many good years to come. 🍷 🍷
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [14 Sep 08:29 Europe/Oslo]
Dealing with the Norwegian state child-care system, Rana commune and a bad momSo, I've been struggling to get more time with my kids, and went to trial in June to get something in place.
The judge ordered that I visit the kids every 6th week, with supervision from the commune/state.
Both I and the kids mom wanted supervision, my main motivation for supervision has been, and is, actions that the kids mom has chosen to do, and still chooses to do.
So, long story short, the state department called BUF was supposed to setup supervision for the visits, but so far they have failed to do so. Before the trial I also seldomly got to visit the kids, and then a person from Rana commune was there to supervise.
The trial ended up in a verdict, and the verdict was legally in effect on the 1st of August, but the BUF state department was unable to provide supervision, and is also unable to provide supervision now the 12th of September.
Over a couple of weeks now I've tried to get Rana commune to provide a person that can supervise on the 12th of September, but they are unable to do so. They called me this morning and only wanted to give a verbal message that they could not provide someone. When I pressed on for a written message saying the same, they refused to provide that.
So today I sent the kids mom an email asking if we could be in a public place on Saturday for a couple of hours, but she refused to cooperate on that as well. So the state isn't doing what it should, the commune isn't doing what it could, and the kids mom isn't cooperating. I'd like to add that I emailed the kids mom on the 20th of August regarding getting Rana commune to provide supervision on the 12th of September.
I think that pretty much sums up the situtation, but would like to add that sharing confidential and/or untrue information has many and severe consequences.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [07 Sep 12:53 Europe/Oslo]
More on experiencing the Norwegian child-care systemSo, I was in a meeting with my lawyer today, and got the explanation that after a verdict with a set number of time with my kids, the mom or rather the primary caretaker can deny anything else.
Which means that the mom of the kids can deny me visiting the kids in the kindergarten and at school, even though that has worked OK in the past.
I think I've blogged enough about this, but would like to add that one of the reasons the trial went as it did, was that the verdict put spoken testimony above an actual document as to whether or not I was cooperating regarding opening a bank account for the smallest kid. I also had to correct my own lawyer in the courtroom regarding this..
A link to a copy of that document is here:
And it clearly shows that I sent an email with a cooperative attitude after the last meditation, but never got any replies to that email and can't see that I've gotten any other emails after that email in that regard either.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [18 Aug 21:40 Europe/Oslo]