Morphex's blogologue (Life, technology, music, politics, business, mental health and more)

This is the blog of Morten W. Petersen, aka. morphex in various places. I blog about my life, and what I find interesting and/or important. This is a personal blog without any editor or a lot of oversight so treat it as such. :)

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Mail to the police: An encounter near City Syd

from: Morten W. Petersen <>
cc: Sveinung Hestad Strand <>
bcc: Jarle Petersen <>
date: Feb 16, 2019, 7:39 PM
subject: An encounter near City Syd


I'm writing this in English, as it is going on my blog. I'm too busy these days to write in Norwegian, and translate.

About 19:18 I left City Syd, and walked towards the bridge crossing the road. There I encountered two young guys maybe 16-18 years old, one with black hair down to the chin, and wearing a white sweater.

I walked straight forward, and was walking straight ahead, when the guy in the white sweater bumped into me.

It looked like those guys knew where they were going and determined, when they were coming out from around a corner. Some seconds later, I encountered a brown/black-haired girl on the bridge, she smiled at me like she was smart/flirting, and maybe talking on the telephone. She looked like she could be 16-18 years old, and had drawn the eyeliner way out on the sides. I think she had a black sweater.

This was a bit unpleasant/annoying, and as I mentioned earlier, I encountered someone else on the same spot not long ago.

Before that I was entering City Syd. and a guy was rushing to get through the door, just at the same time as me. It wasn't near closing time, and if I'd hazard a guess, that guy was a cop or some other official.



[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [16 Feb 19:40 Europe/Oslo]

Something is fishy in the Norwegian healthcare sector

So, I've been a bit sick lately. I think it must have been one or more consecutive viruses, and it has given me sinusitis etc.

Anyway, I try to sleep as much as possible when I'm sick, so my sleep patterns are a bit off.

Sunday morning, I noticed that the prescription labels on some Avamys (anti-nasal-congestion spray) were different. The label was different for two packages I picked up the same day.

One was ordered online, and I thought I'd pick up another when I first was at the pharmacy.

The prescription for Avamys was issued by my previous primary care physician, Thor Digre. I do not understand why a prescription label would be different, for the same medication, picked up the same day.

I also recently changed primary care physician, because my relationship with Thor Digre had deteriorated, because I've for the last 5+ years, seen my kids less than 2 hours each month on average, and a lot of this is related to me being treated in the healthcare system.

Another part of that problem with seeing my kids, is the kids mom.

But, another point is that I've discussed the possibilities of allergies with Thor Digre, and I've taken several blood tests to check for allergies, all were supposedly negative.

So why my Avamys prescription suddenly says that it is for allergies, is a mystery to me. I had not seen my new primary care physician before the 12th of January, and I do not remember talking with Thor Digre where he said that I did in fact have allergies.

[Update..] See also my Instagram post with the images:

That Instagram post didn't turn out right, here's the original video which shows 3 different Avamys packages:

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [21 Jan 08:15 Europe/Oslo]

Questioning mental health treatment techniques

So, I've been criticizing the system for a while, mostly because I have seen my kids less than 2 hours a month for the last 5.5 years, on average.

I was in court in 2015, and I'm very sceptical of the report the mental health professionals made. They did mention something about me being paranoid, and ironically, I slammed into the floor of a bus, 1 week before the result of that trial was beginning, me seeing the kids with supporting supervision.

I could have lost my life in that accident, and there was critique of me blogging about my life and related matters before that accident.

But a while ago, I heard a repetive voice/memory in my head, it felt like a memory, but at the same time, strangely repetetive.

And this happened a while after I've stopped going to therapy, and it was quite odd.

Do they with the aid of medications like Seroquel (Quetiapine), use hypnosis or something similar in mental health treatment, and is a person manipulated on a level it isn't possible to reflect over?

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [30 Dec 11:21 Europe/Oslo]

Python quick-fix of broken router

I have a router which seems to "take the day off" every once in a while, and this started after I filled up all 4 Ethernet ports.

Rebooting, the only fix I've found so far, fixes the problem, so that all 4 Ethernet ports start working again.

Rebooting the router gets boring and annoying after a while, so I decided to write a script to automatically reboot the router every hour.

That script is here:

Didn't need to write any Python 2 or 3 specific hacks to make it work on either Python 2 or 3 either.

I was reading a Python 2-3 cheat sheet here:

And after getting used to using for example print(1), I like the idea of making things simpler and more consistent, an easier to learn syntax.

An added benefit is that I, and other who use two or more keyboard layouts, don't have to remember where the backticks are located on no_nb and en_us keyboard layouts.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Python and web (Atom feed)] [15 Dec 15:51 Europe/Oslo]

Focusing on the simple things

This morning the internet became unavailable, after also being unavailable this weekend for several days.

So I decided to take a look at my demo board which does surveillance with a webcam using the surveil app, surveil is here:

Well, one thing lead to another (...), and I locked myself out of the demo board.

Which was all-in-all a good thing, because when I decided to make things easy for myself, I instead ran the surveil app on my laptop, with the webcam attached there.

I was a bit surprised and embarrassed when the surveil script which should have given a helpful error message on the wrong command-line arguments, instead failed with a TypeError, because I had forgotten a comma.

So I fixed that, and noticed that the contents of the surveil directory (images taken with the webcam that could contain sensitive data) was included in the commit.

This was a big deal, and I included the surveil and longterm data storage directories in the .gitignore file.

Finally, I made the video capture device a configure option, as I don't use the webcam integrated in the laptop, but rather /dev/video1 - which is the device the USB Webcam gets when attached.

A commit of these changes is here:

Last week I drifted off in an interesting conversation on the Python-User list:

Which I guess shows that I could've spent the time thinking about an interesting concept on more pragmatic things, like testing the surveil script on another machine.

Finally, I'm looking for a way to do testing; and I'm wondering of a good way to test that the command-line interface functions as expected as well.

I guess that's more of a functional test, but maybe there is a package which integrates unit and functional tests / integration tests.


I found Integrate which I'll be testing. Bonus points for supporting Python 2.7, as I have for example the software powering this blog (Issue Dealer, using Zope 2 and Python 2.7.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [A surveillance app (Python tree here I come!) (Atom feed)] [07 Dec 14:52 Europe/Oslo]

An interesting lack of response from the Rana district court (Rana tingrett)

Long story short: I broke up with the woman I have two kids in 2013, and after I rejected a relationship with her in the spring/summer 2013, it got difficult to see the kids.

Court-appointed professionals (suggested by the lawyer of the kids mom?) found me to be very troubled, and the kids mom to "great". I was troubled, but I don't believe the kids mom to be "great". Putting your own needs in front of the kids needs is not great. Not letting me have information about the kids from school, healthcare etc. is not great. The latter borders on negligence in my opinion.

So, I was not satisfied with what the court appointed professionals (suggested by the kids mom) found in 2015, and recently I got a pretty solid proof that these mental health professionals were wrong. For 5 years, the kids mom has claimed that we had an agreement on expenses for seeing the kids, while not having an agreement on how often I should see the kids, or rather, how often they should get to see me.

As I state in this blog post:

It is illogical and unreasonable. So, on the 7th of November, I mailed these court-appointed professionals about this, and they pretty much will not respond to my request about the kids mom showing enough personality traits / behaviour to classify as a psychopath.

So on the 8th of November, I contacted Rana district court (Rana tingrett) about this. I did not see a reply.

Then I contacted them again on the 13th of November, no reply.

And I contacted them again today, and have as of yet, not seen a reply.

So it has taken over 4 weeks to give a response, and I have not seen any kind of response such as "we got your email, we're looking over things".

The PDF of this email thread is here:

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [05 Dec 23:03 Europe/Oslo]

Open letter to Tiller DPS (psychiatric hospital)

So, I was in treatment for a number of years, for psychosis, mostly at Tiller DPS. I've also been to court to get to see my kids in that period, and I guess my biggest problem today, is that I've accrued quite a bit of court-related expenses, and I've also seen my two sons less than two hours a month, for the last five years.

So I wrote a, now open, letter, to Tiller DPS, asking some questions.

To: Tiller DPS
Cc: My lawyer, County governor's office, St Olav Hospital
Bcc: Police, Dad


I stopped by yesterday, and picked up some journals, my treatment journal, and a list of who has accessed it.

I have some questions related to this. I see that a meeting was held on the 3rd of May 2010 about enrolling me for treatment, while the access log of my journal, starts on the 15th of June 2010.

Why does the access log to my journal, start well after the enrollment meeting?

It looks like Gunnar Gotaas was the therapist in the period before the court case in 2015, while Morten Mitsem was the therapist right before the court case. It also looks like there's a gap in the access log from April 2015 to September 2015, where nobody has accessed the journal, and presumably I've not been in treatment. The court case took place in June 2015.

Who is it that evaluates the security under the law for someone who takes medicine that affects how the brain works? The mental health experts [appointed to evaluate the parties in the court case] should have a competence and do an assessment, but they don't see what happens before either party goes to the court [to get a case tried].

These court experts evaluated me in relation to the court case in 2015; was there any contact between Tiller DPS and IKFT by Sylva Krogh in relation to the court case, and if so, where is the log of this?

Before I became psychotic in 2009, I was by my primary case physician in Oslo, the Legegruppen Manglerud doctor's office, where an EKG was taken, and where I got a prescription of Zoloft (Sertraline).

I'm thinking Zoloft is something I had a negative reaction to, and that may have caused that I became psychotic with hallucinations. How is information like this relayed to Tiller DPS? It must be relevant.

I want to know about all the info that has gone into, and out of, Tiller DPS, regarding me.

Furthermore, I'm wondering if there are other logs and documentation that documents the treatment choices made for me. Has there for example been used techniques such as hypnosis, has anxiety been manipulated so that it feels more intense and real, and hard to get rid of, how does medication affect such manipulation, etc.


Morten W. Petersen

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [20 Nov 08:19 Europe/Oslo]

Dealing with a kids mom that doesn't honor obligations

So, it's been well over 5 years since I rejected the kids mom, rejected her as in rejecting a relationship, or just sexual relations.

Since that time, I've seen the kids less than 2 hours each month on average, and I don't have contact with the school, healthcare system etc. - so I don't know what they do, day to day.

The kids mom has all the way, claimed that we had an agreement on how to deal with the expenses for seeing the kids, but that we did not have an agreement on how often I should see the kids.

I think it is obviously unreasonable and illogical to claim that we had an agreement on expenses, and not on frequency. Yesterday, after over 5 years of trying to get the kids mom to share expenses for me seeing the kids, according to the law, she rejected a payment request on a money transfer app.

I've used the same money transfer app, to send her installments on interest of the court expenses she had in 2015, after I lost the case, but gained court-appointed supervision to see the kids.

I lost the case in 2015, because Sylva Krogh and her colleagues in IKFT, Institutt for klinisk forebyggende tiltak (Institute for clinically preventive measures), said that the kids mom was "great".

In court, this "motherly greatness" was never questioned, and the Sylva Krogh and her colleagues said the kids mom had no psychopathic traits.

I'm not a psychologist, but to sum up; my understanding around expenses seeing kids, is that those expenses should be divided among the parents, according to their income. It is written in the law. Some rough calculations, tells me that the kids mom since 2015, has avoided paying me over 20.000 kroner, NOK, about 2/3 of the expenses I've had seeing the kids. That is over 10% of what I earn per year now, before taxes.

When I look at for example this page:

It says:

[...] Current Diagnostic criteria for 301.7 Antisocial Personality Disorder (4th ed., text revision).

A. There is a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others occurring since age 15 years, as indicated by three (or more) of the following:

    (1) failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest
    (2) deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure
    (3) impulsivity or failure to plan ahead
    (4) irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults
    (5) reckless disregard for safety of self or others
    (6) consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations
    (7) lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another. 

And I would say that the kids mom ticks off 2, 6 and 7.

From what I understand, the kids mom and her family were not "well off" when she was young, so she knows about not having a lot of money.

Today, I think she has a fortune of millions of kroner, I think she might be close to, or past the euro/dollar millionaire mark as well.

So she has no financial reason I can see, to not pay me, and she also displays little empathy for my financial situation, when she also *profits* on interest from court costs in 2015.

Looking at this whole situation, with the court, the child protection services, the police, these so-called mental health experts, I am shocked that this can happen, and that it goes on for 5+ years.

Finally here's a link to the email I sent to these mental health experts yesterday, translation to come:

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [08 Nov 10:31 Europe/Oslo]

Taking a look at my Python surveil(lance) app

So, I created this surveillance app in Python, to surveil ( the room where I spend most of my time, just to make sure that nobody else visits it, without my approval.

Before I wrote this app, I saw there were different applications out there, that could do some sort of surveillance, but I guess I recognized early on that I could easily mail images to myself, and that this was a good approach as it kind of disconnects the surveil app from outside dependencies, at least it doesn't have to have an internet connection up absolutely all the time, to function.

Another feature of mailing myself images compiled into videos, is that as soon as it comes into (in my case) GMail's system, there is a record of the video, and it is because of that, difficult to manipulate data, when a mail has been delivered.

Python was the language of choice, because I wanted to make things easy for myself, and Python is the language I've worked with the most, and it is easy to read and write things in Python.

Before this, I had dabbled a bit with ffmpeg, playing around with videos, adding effects to them and so on.

I'd say fortunately I dabbled with ffmpeg, because it is quite a powerful video processing package. The command line is not intuitive and user friendly, but once the command line is right, ffmpeg seems to be pretty stable.

I read about Python and the GIL (Global Interpreter Lock) today, and I remember this from years back. I guess over 90% of the programming work I've done to date, is in Python and Zope 2. Zope 2 had a way around the GIL and exploiting all CPU cores, and that was running a main database server, and then having several database clients/applications on each of their on process, which effectively went around the GIL, as each application was one process to the operating system. This worked well as the system was built for few writes to the database and many reads.

So, fortunately I dabbled with ffmpeg before this project, because I soon realized that threading could be a bit of a headache, so I opted for running ffmpeg as a subprocess of the surveil app, and using shell scripting and files to pass messages; so when ffmpeg is done processing a set of images into a video, it creates a file, and a thread with a loop in the surveil app monitors for these files, then mails the video and deletes the files related to that video afterwards.

Python is simple and intuitive, and that's the main reason I think, that it became my programming language of choice. It was easy to get started, interesting to explore Python via the interpreter, and there was an advanced web system which used Python as the main programming language.

Years back, I was pretty much obsessed with cross-platform portability, but with this surveil app, I'm creating a temporary (RAM-based) file system which is Linux-specific, and I'd be happy if it runs on *nix/POSIX systems. It's all in keeping things simple.

So I guess the point of this post was to underline that, yes, Python has a GIL, but in most instances it is a non-issue, and if there are CPU-intensive things, these can be forked out to a command-line tool, or you could even have an extension in C which does the heavy lifting. If I hadn't learnt ffmpeg, I could easily have spent a lot more time writing this app.

Another point that is worth mentioning, is the file for this project, is easy to read, and goes with the Python style of simplicity, and goes one step beyond being a config file, it also has some (easy to understand) logic.

This project is a mix of different systems; Python to glue it all together, *nix file systems and scripting in a middle layer, and the ffmpeg application for the heavy-duty work. As far as I can tell, this is all good and stable, although the surveil app reboots about every 24 hours, so it is hard to know how well it runs with a 100% uptime.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [A surveillance app (Python tree here I come!) (Atom feed)] [23 Oct 15:26 Europe/Oslo]

Adding (mandatory) SMTP authentication to my surveil app

So, I was thinking a bit lately, about adding a small feature to my surveillance app, so that it would send a mail whenever it was started.

Went about to add that this evening, when I discovered that there were large gaps in time between mailed videos in my Surveillance folder/label.

After some searching and debugging, I found that the SMTP server (GMail's in this case), was rejecting emails from my IP. I guess that's just an automated response, when over time, I sent emails to myself,, from myself and at some point that gets flagged as spam, because I wasn't logged in before sending emails.

Anyway, I guess it was naive to try to run something without logging into an SMTP with spam being what it is, so I added (mandatory) support for logging into the outgoing SMTP server today.

In addition to this, I guess it is nice to have the ability to reboot the host regularly, as a host system might for some reason become bogged down. So I added a config option to specify the amount of time between each reboot, in

I think the config file is quite neat, because Python is neat; one can add config options, and even some logic to deal with config options in one file, and it seems natural.

At the end of the config file as it was on that commit, there is a statement that adds 5-60 minutes of delay to the reboot interval specified above - so that it is a bit harder to predict when a surveillance camera is rebooted.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [A surveillance app (Python tree here I come!) (Atom feed)] [15 Oct 00:57 Europe/Oslo]

An encounter with NAV, Euroskolen, Sonans, Anne C Stavelie, Anne-Grete Dahlberg and Guri Ulfsnes

So, a couple of years ago (2014-15 I think), I attended a thing I wasn't motivated for, setup by the Norwegian welfare system hub, NAV.

They were then called Euroskolen, and looks like they are now Sonans.

In their report, which surfaced now that NAV has been been very eager to get me going, when I wanted peace and quiet because of going to court regarding the kids, they wrote that I was "usually late", which I find not to be recognizable as a characteristic for me.

So I asked them to retract that statement/report, which they refuse to do.

I understand it that they don't keep records of attendance, when people meet up etc. If I remember correctly, the kids mom which I've been in conflict with for a number of years, has a dad who is a member of Odd Fellow, and Odd Fellow owned the property (big sign on the wall) where Euroskolen operated. I thought that was a weird coincidence then, but there you go..

It should not be that hard to retract a report or a statement, if you can't document it.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Work (Atom feed)] [01 Oct 12:25 Europe/Oslo]

Changes to my Python surveillance (webcam, web camera) app

So, I created a surveillance app a week ago, because I felt it would be comforting to be able to see if somebody had been into my room.

Since then, I had to make the mailer code, the codes that mails a compiled video to the given email address, a bit more robust:

As I one day discovered that the last mail sent to me with a video, was sent at 03:34, and looking at the log for surveil, I could see that DNS had stopped working.

Today I added another mailer feature, which is simply moving the mailer code into its own function, and then running that code as a loop forever, in a separate thread:

Other notable changes are a separate configuration file, as well as parsing the output from fswebcam when a picture is taken, and if an error is detected, re-get the image:

Finally, I added a script that can be started from Cron, so that the surveil app starts running as soon as the laptop/desktop/demoboard - whatever, boots up.

I added the script, because it's easy to forget to include the PATH etc. - which leads to confusion, irritation and so on, when automating things.

Of all the things I did summarized here, I think the mailer hack is the best; I simply moved some code around and fired up another thread, so that images are taken and videos created and mailed, without delays which could create gaps in time where the room was not surveilled.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [A surveillance app (Python tree here I come!) (Atom feed)] [24 Sep 15:01 Europe/Oslo]

An open letter to Tiller DPS (Tiller psychiatric)

Subject: An open letter to Tiller DPS (Tiller psychiatric)
To: Tiller DPS
Cc: County Governor's office, Various
Bcc: Various


I'm wondering if you can say something about how memories can be manipulated.

Reading a bit of psychology these days, where they among other things, talk about the importance of first and last impressions.

In my own experience, I can remember something that I then and there thought was OK, in a much more negative way, much later in time.

Daniel Molyneux (last psychiatrist) wanted me to start taking anti-depressants and come in on appointments, but since I over a long time [before that] took up problems with the kids mom, and you didn't do anything, I gather that you have seen this family conflict [and me not seeing the kids, or the kids not seeing me] as an opportunity to treat me, and maybe even you had something to do with certain things happening.

So maybe instead of talking with me in [therapy sessions], you could help me sort out today's situation, to get a clear view of who did [and is responsible for] what.


Morten W. Petersen

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [24 Sep 09:32 Europe/Oslo]

An open letter to the Norwegian directorate of health / Norwegian department of health

Subject: Some questions, mental health, children
To: Directorate of health, Department of health
Copy: County police, Lawyer
BCC: Various


I'm wondering who it is, that checks that a patient who is psychotic, is making good deals (arrangements).

It is the case that I became psychotic in 2009, and after 5 years of obstruction, it is still difficult to see my kids, after I broke up with the kids mom in 2013.

The kids mom pulls out (medically) confidential information, things I have said while psychotic, as if that should be relevant today, when I'm in much better shape now, than 8 years ago.

She does this, because I signed papers that enabled the child protection services could retrieve information from the healthcare system in 2009/2010, and the child services have forwarded parts of this to the kids mom [by snail mail], both information that is wrong, and information that has been taken out of its context.

The second thing I'm wondering about, is related to research. I said yes to joining a project when I was (actively?) psychotic, and who is it that checks that this is a good idea, on my behalf?

I can't remember talking to a lawyer regarding child protection services, or this research project.

Finally, I'm wondering, on a scale from 1 to 10, how interesting is a person as a research object, if this person has been psychotic (and given medicine that removes the symptoms [of psychosis]), and breaks his or her neck and becomes paralyzed from the neck down? The brain is an overgrown nerve, after all...


Morten W. Petersen

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [18 Sep 18:53 Europe/Oslo]

When a woman shows you attention... should ask yourself.

Is she:

a) bored
b) helping somebody achieve something
c) feeling an itch
d) looking for a sperm bank
e) looking for a source of revenue
f) any combination of the above

Hate to sound like a party pooper, but reality is what it is.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [17 Sep 14:55 Europe/Oslo]

A surveillance app (Python tree here I come!)

So, lately I've been taking it very easy on the activities front, since I've had a court-related matter to get to see the kids.

So I've had some ideas, urges etc. to do technical stuff, artsy stuff etc. - and today I wrote myself a script that will run on a PC, or a demo board like Raspberry Pi, Orange Pi etc. - and take pictures on a webcam, and merge these pictures taken over time into a video, and mail them.

I started with Python (2), but figured that now is the time to take the plunge to Python 3 and don't look back.

I have to say, Python 3 isn't difficult, there are some changes in conventions etc. but nothing big.

So I was able to be productive in Python 3 straight away, and wrote this script:

Which will do what I mentioned above. And here's the source code tree as it was when I wrote this post:

This video was generated from this script:

And impressively enough, each image the video was generated from, was 55-78 KB, while the entire video with 18 images was ~120 KB. I guess VP9 is effective at compressing, at the same time, a lot of the objects in the video are static.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Python and web (Atom feed)] [17 Sep 00:08 Europe/Oslo]

A small victory regarding my kids

So, this week there was a settlement in court, which will enable me to see the kids again, on a regular basis, with the added security of someone from an official department supervising the meets.

However, in the court papers the judge writes that I'm still (mentally) ill, and I think a lot of people that have seen me the last years, will say that I have gotten physically and mentally more fit.

So I'm not sure what to make of that. There are things I'm not taking a stand on in all these court papers / don't agree with, just to get to see the kids.

Anyway, I've been to court once before, and there the court-appointed mental health professionals, INSTITUTT FOR KLINISK FOREBYGGENDE TILTAK - IKFT AS - headed by Sylva Krogh, laid out in broad strokes that the kids mom was great and that I was not. They also had some people evaluating an interaction between me and the oldest son, but they didn't keep that recording.

So, I pressed charges against IKFT AS represented by Sylva Krogh for false testimony, and haven't heard anything from the police regarding this.

This time around there was also one court-appointed mental health professional, Roger Lindqvist, which I talked a bit to, explaining the situation. I have seen notes of the talks he had with me, the kids mom and the kids, but not a conclusion/evaluation/report of what he thinks about it.

Today I fired off an email to Rana Tingrett, with the administrative body for the Norwegian courts on copy, asking if the court-appointed professional for this round in court, was 100% in agreement with what the mental health professionals in the previous round, found in their report.

It will be interesting to see what the response to this is.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [14 Sep 14:38 Europe/Oslo]

It's now been 5 weeks without a response from the health system (Tiller DPS, NAV)

I requested my journal 5 weeks ago, more about that here:

And I still haven't gotten a copy of my journal. I sent them an email yesterday, Thursday, and they did not respond to that either as of today, 16:03 Friday.

I don't get what should be so difficult about sending a prior patient his medical journal, there is also an important court meeting on the 10th of September regarding my kids, and I'd say that this long processing time, along with NAV (the government welfare system) breathing down my neck and bringing up old documents that I also question, has impacted my ability to complete this court process in a negative way.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [31 Aug 16:06 Europe/Oslo]

Ethics in medical research

So, I heard on the radio today that the ability to treat schizophrenia was much better than previously thought.

I think that's nice, the ability to treat serious, debilitating illnesses.

At the same time, I recently started to read books about psychology, to educate and better understand myself. The book I wanted wasn't available in the library, so I started with another one, which started off with psychology and research, which was a bit too advanced, heavy.

Anyway, I set myself a goal of getting through the first section of that book, and now I have a what seems like lower-level book which I can read comfortably.

Anyway, this first book was about research within psychology, and one of the things I read was that it was often students in psychology that were eager research subjects. Another couple of things were double-blind studies (the research subject is unaware of research test) and a note about getting too eager in the service of research and being sent to jail.

It is nice and necessary that advances in sciences are made, but I recently heard of a person 30 years young that took her own life, and she was in some sort of treatment or had some institution available. And the examples of over-medication, suicide etc. in psychiatry are many.

If you have a serious mental illness, that hampers your ability to see what's right and wrong, who is it that makes sure a person's rights are protected? If you are well functioning enough to get to an advanced degree in psychology, where is your empathy and understanding of serious mental illness?

It's also nice that there are researchers and medical personnel, but where do all these problems (researcher's opportunities) come from?

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [25 Aug 11:26 Europe/Oslo]

Questioning the Norwegian mental health care system, and justice system

So, next month I'm going to court again, to get to see the kids. In these last 5 years, I've seen the kids less than 2 hours each month, and I've been to every date with the kids, every appointment with the family counselling office etc.

In addition to that, I've accrued 100.000 NOK in debt (> 10.000 EUR/USD), after going to court in 2015, also to get to see the kids, and I'm paying 1000 NOK a month in interest on that now.

All this happened while I was taking medication that affects the brain (up to 800 mg of Seroquel a day), and going to therapy sessions, and I've repeatedly discussed problems with the kids mom with mental health professionals, and it has also been documented in writing that I took up these problems with mental health professionals.

I'd say that my experience with the court system so far, has been poor, and I question a lot of things about it. When it also takes more than 3 weeks to produce a copy of a medical journal, and who has accessed it or received copies of it or summaries of it, I really begin to wonder.

When I question the justice system and a process I've been through, and I've been in medical treatment - it is a bit of a concern that it takes a lot of time to produce a journal and a journal log, I'd think that it basically pressing some buttons in a computer program.

A link to the email dialogue with Tiller DPS is here (in Norwegian):

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [18 Aug 12:06 Europe/Oslo]

Here's to you, sis

So, I'm going to court again, to get to see my kids, with supervision, as the kids mom has only let me meet the kids twice since November 2017.

Since the summer 2013, I have seen the kids less than 2 hours each month on average, which is too little, given that I have been to family counseling, court, every meet with the kids etc.

Anyway, my sister repeatedly meddled my problems with the kids mom after the break-up, even when I told her not to, and after that I cut her off, removed her as a friend on Facebook etc.

Breaking up with a person is difficult enough in itself, then you have the added emotional burden of not seeing the kids, as well as other things that I'm not going to repeat here. So the sum of many things, and that my sister didn't respect me, led me to the decision of cutting her off.

4 weeks ago, I asked my sister on email if she would answer some question in writing, related to the new court visit. Now, it is punishable by law to lie in these answers, I knew this, and I guess she knows this now as well.

So she has been writing back some, in my opinion, bullshit, and she did not reply to my latest email sent on the 14th of July (over 3 weeks ago), here translated to English:

I think that you can either answer some questions in writing [to the court], or you cannot.

I will have an understanding of the situation after you've answered. It could be that you entirely of your own initiative meddled to help me, or you could have been influenced to more or less pressure me.

It could be that you thought things would become difficult for you, your man and your kids, if I rejected [the kids mom].

So it is either "Yes, I can answer some questions in writing", or "No, I cannot answer some questions in writing.

To me it is pretty clear that my sister has contributed to my problems earlier in life, and I'm glad that she is now out of my life, even though she does have some influence in my life, via my mom. Her "soft voice" gave me the chills last time.

Here's a PDF of that email, in Norwegian:

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [05 Aug 17:06 Europe/Oslo]

A bit of video fun, ffmpeg fractional timestamp and slow-down

So, I've been recording some workouts, and posting them on Instagram; lately I've also experimented with video-altering apps on Android.

But, Linux has its own Swiss-army knife for altering videos, called ffmpeg.

I've also been recording myself massaging a punching bag, and was pleased when I saw myself tapping and then stomping the bag, in rapid succession, with great power.

So, I thought I'd see how fast I was actually going, and after some digging around, I found that I could add a fractional timestamp to a video, and slow it down, using these commands:

ffmpeg -i VID_20180803_153745~2.mp4 -vf "drawtext=text='Time\ \ \ \ \ \ ':x=120:y=h-lh-30:fontsize=20:fontcolor=white:shadowcolor=black:shadowx=1:shadowy=1:timecode='00\:00\:00\:00':timecode_rate=25/2" out.mp4

which adds the timestamp, and

ffmpeg -i out.mp4 -filter:v "setpts=8.0*PTS" out2.mp4

which slows down the video 8-fold. Here's the video:

And here's another, edited using an Android app, to go forwards and backwards, creating something that can be watched over and over again, smoothly:

[Added a day later:] I guess I should mention that the commando used to find the timecode_rate was:

ffprobe -v 0 -of csv=p=0 -select_streams 0 -show_entries stream=r_frame_rate VID_20180803_153745~2.mp4

and the output was: 25/2

[Permalink] [By morphex] [ffmpeg (Atom feed)] [04 Aug 20:19 Europe/Oslo]

Graceful degredation of redirect using meta http-equiv and Javascript in XHTML, for caching

So, I saw that SSL was becoming more or less mandatory these days, so I got SSL setup for the domain

However, since I also wanted to keep serving the site over HTTP as well as HTTPS (for graceful degradation and a fallback), and I have a cache sitting between the SSL-server and the weblog system, which pretty much caches everything, all the time, for a long time, I had to do a bit of extra work.

The cache in this setup isn't able to tell the difference between requests coming via HTTP or HTTPS, so an extra '&protocol=http[s]' is added at the end of URLs.

So with this code

  <meta http-equiv="refresh" id="meta_refresh" content="1;" />
  <script type="text/javascript">
    refresh = document.getElementById('meta_refresh');

it is possible to have the page redirect with the protocol key without Javascript, while this piece of Javascript

    <script type="text/javascript">
    // <![CDATA[
    function myOnLoad() {
      if (window.parent.document.location.toString().indexOf('') != 0) {
        if (window.parent.document.location.toString().indexOf('https:') != 0) {
      if (window.parent.document.location.toString().indexOf('') != 0) {
        if (window.parent.document.location.toString().indexOf('http:') != 0) {
    document.getElementById('iFrameLoadTest').myOnLoad = myOnLoad;
    // ]]>

does redirect to setup frames *and* add the protocol key. I setup this site so that it would be possible to access the site without a browser that supports [i]frames, and I guess it is reasonable to expect that a browser that doesn't support Javascript, also doesn't support frames.

Although for example the NoScript extension for Firefox does enable blocking Javascript per-site etc. for security.

So the cache is able to cache http and https pages differently, which again is tidy and neat, as URLs generated on the blog are often absolute starting with http: or https: - and not relative, for example /morphex.

If you're wondering how the meta tag is generated, that's by a script on the server side, which decides to redirect with an &protocol= suffix on URLs, based on an environment variable HTTP_X_FORWARDED_PROTO, which the cache sitting in the middle, is unable to take into account.

It did add "Vary: HTTP_X_FORWARDED_PROTO" to the pages generated in the weblog, but that did not affect the cache.

Now, I was wondering how long a timeout the http-equiv refresh should have, and found 0 was too short, and 2 was too long. If the timeout is 0, it is reasonable to expect that the browser will execute the refresh immediately. It is also reasonable to expect that within 1 second, the following <script> tag is read and executed, and when that Javascript is run, it deletes the meta tag, and from what I can tell, deleting the meta tag, also stops any actions contained within that tag.

You might think that adding <meta> tag within a <noscript> tag in the header would be much easier, and it would be, however, that is not valid XHTML according to the W3C validator, so this "hack" is what will work and be accepted as valid XHTML.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Web (Atom feed)] [23 Jun 15:18 Europe/Oslo]

I will be attending the Norwegian constitution day 17. Mai (17 of May), but not celebrating it

So, tomorrow is Norway's constitution day, celebrating the signing of the Norwegian constitution in 1814.

I will be attending some social events tomorrow, to enjoy some company and different good food. But I won't be celebrating or congratulating others on the occasion, because of my experiences in the Norwegian society.

I have two kids, 6 and 8 years old, and I haven't met them in person since the start of November 2017, and it is now the middle of May, 2018.

I broke up with the kids mom in 2013, and since then I haven't seen the kids much. Even though I've been to every meeting, every planned time with the kids etc. since then.

I was thinking of taking a picture of the children marching tomorrow celebrating the day, but after some thought I created this collage of the Trondheim hospital St. Olav and the Norwegian flag (taken from so I have the "day off" tomorrow, and also don't take a picture of different people who haven't asked to be associated with this blog post.

Picture of St. Olav with Norwegian flag superimposed

So yeah, I found taking a picture of the hospital fitting for different reasons, one of them being that I broke up with the kids mom while I was diagnosed with one or two serious psychiatric disorders, and today about 10% of my net income goes to paying off previous court costs and current lawyer costs, to get to see the kids.

To be correct, I have to say that the kids mom has offered a deal for me seeing the kids now, but I have negative trust towards the kids mom after what has happened earlier, so I think her presence during my meetings with the kids would be negative in more than one way. And as they say, "fool me once - shame on you, fool me twice - shame on me". I have suggested meeting in public spaces in Mo i Rana, but that was not acceptable for the kids mom.

So it looks like it will be another round in court, so that I can get supervision from the state when seeing my kids, which will limit the amount of time I get with the kids, but since the kids mom refuses to let me be alone with the kids, and I don't trust the kids mom, it's the best solution I see.

The kids mom has also earlier said that the situation was stressful with me and me seeing the kids, so when she doesn't have to do anything beyond dropping off the kids and picking them up, that should be a practical solution for her as well.

But yeah, the picture above. I moved recently. and the hospital is now within walking distance. I have given the healthcare system in Norway quite a bit of criticism, but when I see little of my kids for years and years, and 10% of my income goes to legal costs, and this situation started when I had serious psychiatric diagnoses, was taking a significant amount of mind-altering medicine and was going to therapy and was talking about serious problems with the kids mom, they are getting what they deserve.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [16 May 12:38 Europe/Oslo]

Experiencing the surrealism of the Norwegian "wellfare" system

So, last month I was in a meeting with NAV, the wellfare office, employment office, pension office etc. in Norway, aptly named NAV (wheel hub in English).

They want to get me into a work preparation program, or as I suspect, a suitability for work program, while I am more on the exercise a lot and do different interesting computer things, that I'm motivated for doing and that will help me get a job later.

Since last summer, I've exercised a lot, and I can feel a positive development and see a positive development on my body since then. I've also dabbled in different computer things, for example the Java Twitter export tool that I blogged about on my blog, and the source code is available on Twitter.

I've worked hard most of my life, and I have to say I'm disappointed in seeing how the Norwegian system works. After I got psychotic at the end of 2009, I drained the company (my own company) for money, when I probably should have been 100% on sick leave and gotten money from the state.

So today, although I feel motivated to work in my company and could probably work 8-16 hours a week, I am unable to, because I've earlier exhausted the funds in the company, Nidelven IT.

In addition to this, the work-sickleave-unemployment route I've taken, or have been guided through by NAV and the healthcare system, gives me very little money, now that I'm on "work assessment allowance", and I'm also paying around 10000 a year in interest on the court costs that the kids mom accrued, after she over a long period did a lot of things and practically provoked a round in court.

Now it looks like I'll have to take another round in court, and with the payments on the new court case and the previous one, I'm paying around 10% of my net income in these court costs, and I have low income.

This comes in addition to the over 30.000 kroner I've had in expenses seeing the kids, after I rejected the kids mom in the summer 2013, which the kids mom refuses to share according to the law defined norm, as she claims we had an agreement on travel costs, but not on how often I should see the kids, or rather how often the kids should get to see me.

So yeah, NAV want to put me through the stress of a work assessment program, when I have a positive development with things I've chosen to do myself, that do help my health and my work prospects.

A while ago, a dentist documented and treated me for an infection in the gums, something that is probably because of the medication I've been taking, and this is something that NAV has paid for, the dental treatment. And the Norwegian patient injury reparation organization has said that it remains to see if it is a permanent problem.

It still remains to be seen if this treatment will be necessary in the future though, or if I have a permanent problem.

But, here is the conundrum. I've been advised that the medication I've taken, Seroquel, can lead to diabetes and heart problems in the long term. So, if NAV pressures me into this work assessment program, and I later get diabetes, who is responsible, and what do I get for it?

If I've been advised that I can get a condition from a medication, I can't sue to get reparations. I can take diabetes pills, but still the diabetes would affect my life quality and life expectancy.

I guess any wise person would say that there is nothing more important than having good health, and that no amount of money can replace good health.

So I guess it might be that I, and many others, are destined to be medical trial subjects, in a semi-nazi government system, that sells a lot of present for an unknown future.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [29 Apr 19:47 Europe/Oslo]