Morphex's blogologue (Life, technology, music, politics, business, mental health and more)

This is the blog of Morten W. Petersen, aka. morphex in various places. I blog about my life, and what I find interesting and/or important. This is a personal blog without any editor or a lot of oversight so treat it as such. :)

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Aftershocks

So, I've been reading up on various mental things on the net, and figuring I have something like PTSD now:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posttraumatic_stress_disorder

Which is interesting, since I know the feeling I have today from earlier in my life. I don't know where I got into this track I've been in, but anyway. Feeling like you're going to die for a good while kinda sucks.

Stress and such, well there are different kinds of threats. With this condition I have, whatever it is, I guess I've always been quite sensitive to what other people want and need.

So I think I've treated the people in my company pretty well, not laying too much on them, and at times handing out a lesson. I know this past half year has been tough on "my crew" but I've been having it tough too, so now we might get to wind down the next month. I see people performing well now, and it is good to see that the time and effort I've invested is rewarded. I know some people might prefer to break people down with techniques such as Gaslighting:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting

and

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_torture

But that's not my style. Think of it.. with the web things can be setup and changed without a trace. And you have no physical wounds or traces to show..

Interestingly, my psychologist has spoken to a friend I know about my history, and things were taken up there, things I didn't remember. So he said it might just be a misunderstanding too.

Anyway, this paranoia/schizophrenia/bipolar thing. The meds help, but right now I'm at a place emotionally where I've been before. So I dunno, things are taking their time. I'll relax now and try to do as little as possible and just get better.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [29 Mar 22:32 Europe/Oslo]