Morphex's blogologue (Life, technology, music, politics, business, mental health and more)

This is the blog of Morten W. Petersen, aka. morphex in various places. I blog about my life, and what I find interesting and/or important. This is a personal blog without any editor or a lot of oversight so treat it as such. :)

My email is morphex@gmail.com.

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What is the Norwegian police up to?

So, I sent in a formal complaint to the police at the end of February this year, 2017.

It was a formal complaint about the mental health professionals who made a report, and a sworn testimony, during the trial the summer 2015 about my kids, me and their mom.

I haven't heard anything back about it, and recently I had to ask twice for a receipt, reporting another incident which happened a couple of years ago, which could have left med paralyzed or dead.

Now I thought to myself that I would refrain from blogging about this in the interest of keeping the collaboration climate between me and the kids mom cooler, but when the actions of the police on the one hand is difficult to understand, and the kids mom still doesn't collaborate in a satisfactory fashion, I think I have the right and need to blog about it.

I think there are a couple of key things here which should be mentioned. Since the summer 2013 I've had significant costs visiting my kids, and after raising the issue many times over many years, I understood it that this february, we could split the cost 50/50 if all prior costs were forfeited. I think my costs are around 20-30.000 NOK now, and my current income is less than 200.000 NOK per year. A lot less than what the kids mom is earning. I do pay child support, and I don't have any child support debt.

Now this is when the law says that travel expenses for seeing the kids should be split between parents according to their income, and it was the kids mom that decided to move 500km north and away.

Another thing is the court expenses; since I "lost" the case, I have to pay the expenses for the kids mom's lawyer. These also have a 12% interest. When I tried to negotiate a solution through the lowest court or arbitrator of claims here in Norway, they were unable to get in touch with the kids mom.

And finally, I asked during recent negotations that I call the kids on videochat every week, and now the kids mom says it will only happen every 2 weeks - this without there being any major problems during the video chats that have been. But I did reject talking to the kids mom over videochat in that period.

Finally, here is an image with names redacted, of the complaint I made this year to the police. It is in Norwegian, I will translate it later.

Image of email reporting mental health professionals that worked for a court case to the police, in Norwegian

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [19 Oct 21:49 Europe/Oslo]

Caught up in the Norwegian sausage factory

So, these 2 last days I've been able to see my kids, for 3 hours in a indoor play park and today for 2 hours were we did normal stuff.

I suggested 5 hours in the play park, but that wasn't possible, so it ended up being 3 hours.

I think the time we had together was nice, very good yesterday and OK today as the oldest one didn't seem like he was in great shape.

But I guess this is mostly a post to shake my fist at the system, as long as babies are born and the state gets its inhabitants, it doesn't seem like it matters much exactly how.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [03 Aug 19:42 Europe/Oslo]

Is this war?

So, I got to see my kids this weekend, and it was nice. We had a good time and celebrated the birthday of the youngest one.

During these times with the kids, there is a person there from the state, in something called "supporting supervision". Which is something I wanted and agreed to in court, mostly because I didn't know what kind of tricks their mom could pull or stories she could cook up, with or without the help of others.

I talk a bit with the supervisor during these visits and she also talked in a war metaphor, about giving in etc. Which is interesting, because the mental health professionals that said the kids mom was "great" in court also said something like it at one point, and I believe before the problems seeing my kids started, the kids mom also used a war metaphor, saying something like "if you want war you'll get war".

Now it's interesting that the war metaphor is used. War is war, war has rules and you have to follow the law regardless.

It seems that the kids mom sees the war metaphor as doing whatever you like, even breaking the law, to reach whatever objective you have.

Before the final break up, we had an agreement that others (independent professionals) can and have verified about me seeing the kids 3 days every second weekend. But the kids mom never signed my copy, so the police in Mo i Rana wouldn't do anything when the kids mom cut me off from the kids.

In addition to that, the kids moms said that she would like to have a relationship, also a purely sexual one, before the final break-up. When I didn't want a relationship with her, things got difficult. (Long story short, me and the kids mom had problems, we went to family counselling and struck a deal on me seeing the kids, she moved, I rejected a relationship with her, she cut me off from the kids, we went to court, I got a verdict that I could see the kids, I've been seeing the kids).

So what she did was deceitful, maybe goes into the fraud category and that she abused the position she had with the kids and stopping me from seeing them, is something that persisted over a long period of time, and goes somewhere in the range of sexual harassment to attempted rape. And emotional blackmail as well.

Furthermore, I've talked a bit about this with different people, including women, and none of the women have really objected to what's going on.

So maybe something is going on or has been said about me that I haven't heard, or this behaviour and war-metaphor thinking is something that reflects the thinking of a significant segment of the female population here in Norway.

This isn't acts of war, it is simply criminal acts, made by a person that has problems interacting with the world in a way at least I see as normal.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [28 Apr 00:12 Europe/Oslo]

Not getting information on my kids

So, I have had access to a little bit of my oldest sons school information in an online IT system, but that access has been retracted now.

The principal Bente Gr√łnningen Marthinussen at the school is referring to the verdict last year, which does give the kids mom the custody rights.

Now from what I gathered from my lawyer, granting one parent these rights is a way of dampening the conflict between the parents.

But since the verdict, I've participated a little bit in my oldest sons school activities, and I can't see I've done anything negative in that regard.

So it seems the kids mom is over time doing the one thing she has the power to do, and that is provocate using the kids as a pawn, first denying me access to the kids, then changing their last name (which used to be mine), then denying me information from kindergarten and school.

Couple this with sexual assault, sexual harassment, trying to force me into a sexual relationship, hinting that she was just using me to have kids and then using that argument against me and things are looking pretty ugly.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [13 Dec 11:01 Europe/Oslo]

Revenge is a dish best served cold

So, I was with the kids a couple of weeks ago, we had 4 hours together and had a good time. However, at the hand-off of the kids, the kids mom and I ended up in a discussion about various things - and she referred to my blog as "that damned blog". Obviously she doesn't like that I'm writing about what's happening, and that is understandable because it can make her look bad, interfere with her plans and so on.

Now, I've blogged various things about the situtation about not seeing the kids, and I thought I'd give a summary / repetition about what has happened over a long period of time, and fill in some extra information.

So, first thing is first. I met the kids mom maybe around 2007, and my first son was born in October 2009. Around the time of his birth, I got some medication from my doctor, and also became psychotic (with among other things, hallucinations). Since the start of 2010 I've been taking anti-psychotic medication, and most of the time I've also gone to therapy, seeing psychiatrists and psychologists.

In 2010, we moved to my hometown, Trondheim, and lived there for 3 years. During this period, things were going better for me, I was working a bit, taking the oldest son to kindergarten, playing with him and so on.

But also in the same period, the relationship between the kids mom and I deteriorated, and in the start of 2013, she went back to her hometown, Mo i Rana.

In the deteriorating period, we went to family counselling together, and the kids mom also went there by herself. But that didn't help. So when we broke up in the start of 2013, we made an agreement at this counselling office, that I should get to see the kids 3 days every 2 weeks.

[Edit: Added paragraph]
Over a period of years, I have not gotten to see the kids as often as I wanted to, and I've been in contact with the police among others regarding this.
[/Edit]

However, the kids mom never signed my copy of that agreement, so later on the police wouldn't do anything about it. Here is an email thread where the family counselling office verifies that we were in agreement on how things should be regarding me seeing the kids:

http://blogologue.com/referat_fra_meklingstime.pdf

So in the period from January 2013 to May 2013, things were a bit back and forth, and when the kids mom left in May 2013, I made it clear that I did not want to be in a relationship with her.

I think before that final no from my side, we had made an agreement that I would come up some weeks later to help take care of the kids while someone in the kids moms family had a coming-of-age ceremony. I was there at that ceremony, and sat opposite the kids mom. She looked as if she had a very strained, doll-like smiling face, while you could see in her eyes that she was sad and angry.

Her parents were present as well, and took care of the kids until I figured out it was better to be wandering around with the oldest son to avoid dealing with the kids mom and that weird situation.

Anyway, during that visit in Mo, the kids mom came in one morning and touched me in an intimate place, even though I made it clear that I didn't want any kind of relationship. Maybe in a timespan of a couple of months before that, the kids mom more or less said that she would like just a sexual relationship.

So, maybe the same day or the day after this morning incident, the weird mood at the ceremony and all this, I got upset and used a loud voice to make it clear that this was something I didn't accept. As I was angry and said different things, the kids mom fiddled with the phone as she was recording something, if I remember correctly, she also purposely sounded stressed or scared during this argument.

So I feel she did a lot of things to aggravate me, and then either did record something that was a misrepresentation of the situation - or just pretended to.

Fast forward a couple of years, I'm now getting to see the kids on a regular basis, but the kids mom is still denying me visits to the kindergarten and school to see the kids, and she doesn't give any reason as to why.

But then, at the last visit to see the kids, at the hand-off, she said something along the lines of "at the school they don't have anyone who can keep an eye on you" - as if I could be a threat. I'm not a threat, and the following document shows that there are two things I've been diagnosed with during my treatment, and that is a psychosis and an anxiety disorder:

http://blogologue.com/skann-av-uttalelse-fra-helsevesenet.jp...

I can add that this was said in front of the kids, and I don't know what the oldest son got of the conversation, but that also is not a good thing. The kids mom has been offered to talk with my therapists before and has done so, and it could have been arranged this year as well.

So I'm starting to think that either the kids mom had a plan and is now caught in her own web and doesn't know exactly what to do, or she is a psychopath or something along those lines. I think that she all the way has had a wish and a plan to live in Mo i Rana, and has been working towards that.

As for myself these days, I'm doing OK. I'm no longer that suspicious of women and no longer see their flirting and attempts at seducation as something negative.

Now, finally I'd like to add that I think criminal acts, mental illness and so on are mostly private matters. The reason I'm mentioning them here is that it is relevant, because I want to have contact with my kids and ensure they are doing well and become good people. There is also a bit of revenge from my side in this, and that's because I've been very upset and angry about this situation for a long time, and the one thing that made the situation bearable was that I was going to get the kids mom for what she did - by telling it in public.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [05 Oct 21:44 Europe/Oslo]

More on seeing the kids

So, I talked with my oldest sons contact teacher last school year, about coming to visit my son at school, see how things are etc. I was under the impression that this was OK. On my last visits to see my kids, I've been talking to my oldest son about coming to visit his school and he has been excited about this.

However, now my son has gotten a new contact teacher, and I got an email from the school principal today that I couldn't come visit him after all, and they refererred to the verdict from the court.

Now I'm assuming the kids mom has dropped by with the verdict, and has actively worked to stop this visit, because she did the same when it came to me visiting my youngest son in kindergarden.

I really don't know what to say about this, except that I'm not shocked that this has happened.

I think it's worth mentioning that this week I started getting heavy pains due to what seems to be a tennis elbow, and this after I started getting treatment and exercises because of an accident last year. An accident I'm not sure was entirely an accident.

Now, this is not much in itself, but I think it's worth mentioning that the response from the school principal came one week after I sent them an email, and that the accident last year happened one week before the first time after the verdict that I was going to see the kids without the kids mom meddling in, with a supervisor.

Now this may all be coincidental, but maybe a year or two before I and the kids mom made the final break-up, her dad drove up to me one summer and said 7 and nothing else. He has also given me the impression that he knows well there is something called "affekt" in Norwegian law, where a crime has been committed under what one can call heavy emotional influence can get a lower prison sentence than one done with consideration first.

[Update, 21st of September]

OK, so I've asked the principal at this school, Bente Gr√łnningen Marthinussen, if she could verify that it was in fact the kids mom that dropped by with the verdict, and if the kids mom gave her the entire document, or just the verdict itself. As the entire document contains sensitive information which can affect many people, I think that's a fair question.

The principal refuses to give an answer, and has several times referred to the initial document/email which says I can't visit my son at school. I guess she can do that, and I can blog about it.

Anyway, it's going to be difficult to tell the oldest kid that his mom has refused me visiting him at school, as that was something he was looking forward to.

The kids mom has stopped responding to written emails and messages entirely, and I'm not going to call her as I suspect she'd twist that call into something it wasn't, and I can't legally record it either.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [16 Sep 11:50 Europe/Oslo]

An update on seeing my kids, court costs etc.

So, the kids mom went to the authorities a while ago, to get her court expenses covered, as she won the case. I didn't appeal because I got something I hadn't had before, a legally binding agreement to see my kids on a regular basis.

Anyway, out of nowhere the kids mom went to the authorities to get her court expenses covered, and I opened a letter just now detailing the verdict in this claim. Since I've been psychotic, my business has been slowly winding down etc. - I haven't had the income that I used to have, and today I get a minimum rate economical support from the state.

Anyway, the kids mom had her court expenses, and now I have to pay 500 NOK per month, on a 80000 NOK debt with a 12% annual interest. I see that the highest interest rate for a savings account in Norway is 3%, so basically the kids mom is going to get a decent return on investment maybe the coming years, as I don't see myself working a lot for the time to come.

So from being an emotionally agonizing period where I didn't get to see my kids on a regular basis, I now get to see my kids, but I also have economical pressure on me and a depressing growing debt.

I think this whole thing has been very difficult, and it has sucked a lot of energy and time from me, in an already difficult situation. I found out something interesting though, a week before my last visit to the kids, I woke up with a foggy vision and saw rainbows around light sources, and from what I've googled on the net, it looks like it could be from an allergic reaction. Wind the clock back some months, and I also had a very nasty accident on the bus which split open the skin on the back of my head, a week before seeing my kids.

So I think that I haven't only been played by the kids mom, I think others may have contributed as well, and that in a period where I've been treated (going to therapy, taking medication) for psychosis and an anxiety disorder.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [04 Jun 04:42 Europe/Oslo]

Call from the police

So a short while ago, I got a call from the police, because the kids mom had contacted them, as she found my blogging "uncomfortable" (my wording).

I told the police that what I'd blogged about the court case, seeing my kids, etc. was true and correct, and that almost all of what I blogged could be documented.

But, I'm going to take a pause from blogging about seeing my kids, the court case and so on, until I've talked to my lawyer about it, thought about it, talked some more to the police and seeing if anything comes from the kids mom and her lawyer.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [10 May 14:50 Europe/Oslo]

More on seeing the kids

So, yesterday I got a unpleasant surprise when I opened a letter at my mom's place, as the kids mom had gone to the authorities, to force me to pay for her expenses on the court case we were in regarding the kids.

So I'll have to go through a process documenting my income, expenses and belongings so that her claim can be fulfilled.

My understanding from my lawyer was that expenses regarding the trial would go via him, and we've sought to cover both my expenses and the kids mom's expenses from the state.

As far as I know, the kids mom is well off financially, with an above average income and millions of kroner (NOK) in fortune.

Since the summer 2013 I've had significant expenses for seeing the kids, and the law is that these expenses should be divided between the parents, according to income. I don't have much income, as I've been sick for a long period of time.

Expenses for me seeing the kids was something the kids mom and her lawyer agreed to find a deal on, after the day in court, after the judge had left the room. I think that since the day in court, I have not heard or seen one constructive thing regarding expenses for me seeing the kids.

So I think this shows a couple of things. Either my lawyer has made a mistake, or the kids mom is stepping over a line. I wouldn't be surprised if the kids mom did step over a line, as she has been been threatening, harassing and assaulting in the past.

To make things more interesting, I thought my last visit with the kids went well, and asked the supervisor from the state if she saw any reason why the kids mom should be present in the house, on a text message after the visit. She has responded to my earlier SMS messages, but this time she did not give any reply and that's been almost 2 weeks now.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [21 Apr 11:50 Europe/Oslo]

More on seeing the kids

So, I got to see my kids this 27th of February, following the visit the kids every 6th week agreement laid down by the court.

After seeing the kids, the state supervisor said that the kids mom wanted some changes in the schedule, to accomodate holidays I presume. To be on the safe side, I've contacted my lawyer about it and I'm waiting for a response there.

But it is now about 2 months since I contacted the kids mom via email, as I want to see the kids more, and the oldest kid has expressed that he wants me to visit more often. This last time I visited the kids, they both said that they wanted me to visit in kindergarten / school as well.

So the kids mom doesn't want to communicate to me on email about seeing the kids, but she can communicate via others to get changes in the schedule for me seeing the kids.

That's interesting enough, but this morning I was thinking about the trial again, and the report from the court-appointed mental health specialists. The report was very favourable towards the kids mom, and even the people from kindergarten said that me being there visiting the kids was awkward and inappropriate.

I thought the visits to the kids kindergarten went OK, but I guess I might seem a bit lethargic due to the medications I was on. I thought one of the guys there who showed me around seemed very nervous and anxious, I don't know what the reason for that was.

But, interestingly enough, a (I guess close) friend of the kids mom works in the kindergarten, her name is Elisabeth Bjørnådal and the kindergarten is Mjølan barnehage. It might be that she has coloured the perception of me there, or that someone has pulled some strings to get the kindergarten to say what they did to the court appointed mental health people.

In the break-up period with the kids mom, I remember though that the kids mom said something along the lines of me just using her to have kids to this Elisabeth. On the other hand, for example my mom has said to me that she thought that I was just sad about the break-up etc. - same as the mom of the kids mom said to the court appointed mental health professionals.

So it seems that there may be different perceptions of me in this whole thing, and I'm not sure who's mostly responsible for that but there is an obvious person or group of persons that could have something to do with it.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [16 Mar 05:09 Europe/Oslo]

More on seeing the kids

So I went to trial last summer, to get to see more of the kids.

One of the things the kids mom has been on about, is that I've been mentally ill (which is true), but so much that I couldn't be alone with the kids, or rather that she had to be there whenever I was to be with the kids.

The kids mom been playing that card for a long time, and the last time I saw the kids, she had to meddle about something that I could have sorted out with my oldest son myself, so in my opinion she's using the kids to keep some contact with me, what the motivation for that contact is, I don't know, but obvious reasons could be to establish a relationship, even though I don't want to have anything to do with her, in any way.

And I've made that perfectly clear, many times.

Anyway, when I went to trial, I remember the kids moms lawyer saying something along the lines of documentation about my mental health from my therapist hadn't been submitted to the court.

In my email records I can see that a document regarding my mental health had been sent to the kids mom and her lawyer towards the end of 2013, and that document is here:

http://blogologue.com/skann-av-uttalelse-fra-helsevesenet.jp...

It says clearly that nothing in their treatment of me has given them reason to contact other authorities, regarding me and my kids. And therapists are bound by law to give notice if they discover something of concern.

I sent an email to the current lawyer of the kids mom, Anne Fladvad working at Advokathuset Helgeland, and will see what she has to say about this.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [12 Feb 05:07 Europe/Oslo]

Failure to communicate and collaborate (seeing more of the kids)

So, I've blogged now and then about my issues seeing the kids, and the kids mom that isn't cooperating.

Two weeks ago today, I sent an email to the kids mom, as well as the family mediation unit where she lives about seeing the kids more often, but neither the kids mom or the unit has replied.

The email I sent the kids mom about seeing the kids more is here:

http://blogologue.com/epost_til_mor.png

The email I sent to the family unit in Mo i Rana (commune) is here:

http://blogologue.com/epost_til_justin.png

I think it's a bad thing that neither the mom nor the family unit are able to communicate when I want to setup something to see the kids more often.

Interestingly, I sent an email to the kids mom on the 19th of January, to which she replied on the 23rd of January:

http://blogologue.com/epost_til_mor_hvordan_ungene_har_det.p...

Telling me a little bit about how the kids are doing. So she is reading email.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [02 Feb 17:32 Europe/Oslo]

Getting to see my kids on a regular basis

So, I've gotten to see my kids a couple of times now, and that's nice.

It's good to have a steady and predictable schedule for seeing them, and the supervisor that's there from the state is a good person to have around, as I have issues being alone with the kids mom.

So I get to see my kids 4 hours every six weeks now, and although I enjoy being with the kids and being there for them, every time I get back home it is a bit sad to know that it'll be 6 weeks until I see them again. I don't know how they feel about it after I leave, but I know they want me to be there more often.

I decided a couple of weeks ago to go another round in the court to get full custody of the kids, as I have doubts about how the kids are doing and how they'll turn out when they're older. The previous trial was also a bit poorly prepared from our (me and my lawyer's) side, so I thought it all was a bit unfair and the wrong things were considered and put weight on. And I'm sceptical about the report from the court appointed mental health professionals which concluded that the kids mom had no narcissistic or sociopathic traits (too good to be true for a lot of, if not most, people).

The trial was in June 2015 and the verdict said the first appointment for seeing the kids was the 1. of August, but that fell through, as did the next appointment. I've blogged about that earlier: http://blogologue.com/blog_entry?id=1441623208X02

It's not peaches going another round in court though, as certain things are stacked against me. For example the status quo principle that the situation for the kids should not be changed is important, so even though the sum of the other parts are in my favour, it might go the other way anyway.

I've thought a bit about this, and when the first kid was born I became psychotic, and was under treatment and heavily medicated when me and the kids mom split up in the start of 2013. So I had enough to deal with at that time, and was probably depressed and tired after the psychotic episode as well as the break-up, and wasn't able to muster going to trial. I also couldn't be alone with the kids mom, so seeing them became difficult.

So I guess it's a wait and see thing, to establish a good relationship with the kids again and then go another round in court.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [19 Jan 11:09 Europe/Oslo]

Dealing with the Norwegian state child-care system, Rana commune and a bad mom

So, I've been struggling to get more time with my kids, and went to trial in June to get something in place.

The judge ordered that I visit the kids every 6th week, with supervision from the commune/state.

Both I and the kids mom wanted supervision, my main motivation for supervision has been, and is, actions that the kids mom has chosen to do, and still chooses to do.

So, long story short, the state department called BUF was supposed to setup supervision for the visits, but so far they have failed to do so. Before the trial I also seldomly got to visit the kids, and then a person from Rana commune was there to supervise.

The trial ended up in a verdict, and the verdict was legally in effect on the 1st of August, but the BUF state department was unable to provide supervision, and is also unable to provide supervision now the 12th of September.

Over a couple of weeks now I've tried to get Rana commune to provide a person that can supervise on the 12th of September, but they are unable to do so. They called me this morning and only wanted to give a verbal message that they could not provide someone. When I pressed on for a written message saying the same, they refused to provide that.

So today I sent the kids mom an email asking if we could be in a public place on Saturday for a couple of hours, but she refused to cooperate on that as well. So the state isn't doing what it should, the commune isn't doing what it could, and the kids mom isn't cooperating. I'd like to add that I emailed the kids mom on the 20th of August regarding getting Rana commune to provide supervision on the 12th of September.

I think that pretty much sums up the situtation, but would like to add that sharing confidential and/or untrue information has many and severe consequences.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [07 Sep 12:53 Europe/Oslo]

More on experiencing the Norwegian child-care system

So, I was in a meeting with my lawyer today, and got the explanation that after a verdict with a set number of time with my kids, the mom or rather the primary caretaker can deny anything else.

Which means that the mom of the kids can deny me visiting the kids in the kindergarten and at school, even though that has worked OK in the past.

I think I've blogged enough about this, but would like to add that one of the reasons the trial went as it did, was that the verdict put spoken testimony above an actual document as to whether or not I was cooperating regarding opening a bank account for the smallest kid. I also had to correct my own lawyer in the courtroom regarding this..

A link to a copy of that document is here:

http://blogologue.com/epost_siste_mekling.png

And it clearly shows that I sent an email with a cooperative attitude after the last meditation, but never got any replies to that email and can't see that I've gotten any other emails after that email in that regard either.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [18 Aug 21:40 Europe/Oslo]

Experiencing the Norwegian child-care system

So, a couple of months ago I went to trial, partly because I haven't gotten to see a lot of my kids the last couple of years.

Although the trial was a bit of a dissapointment for different reasons, the result seemed to be OK because I got to see my kids every 6th weekend, an improvement from the current situtation and a predictable schedule.

When I visited my kids before the trial, I also visited the kids in the kindergarten and that was an OK experience.

However, it seems that as a result of the trial, the kids mom has come in the position that she can deny me visiting the kids in the kindergarten and at school. Which is strange, because visiting them earlier went OK, and neither the kids mom or her lawyer want to comment further on it.

I have a meeting with my lawyer next week about all of this, so it should be interesting to see what he says about it.

I've heard some talk about mothers having a very strong position in Norway when it comes to who gets care etc. but I'm not sure that's the case, so far things have been very difficult so we'll see what happens next.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [13 Aug 07:46 Europe/Oslo]

Good procedures matter

So, Isak our firstborn in getting closer to 3 years old. We've noticed some tantrums here and there, but they pass eventually.

It is said that if you give them the pinky they'll take the whole hand, which I'm sure is true after seeing some parental programs on the telly. And seeing how Isak can sometimes try to push the right buttons to get his way.

Anyway, I just about always put him to bed. Take him upstairs, give him a fluoride tablet, brush his teeth and put him to bed. There have been some things like Isak wanting an extra hug or kiss from mom before bed but that also passed.. I've been pretty strict about what happens before bedtime and I think that has been smart, as this procedure is a breeze these days.

It's a fine balance between nurture, structure and discipline to raise kids, but if they get a lot of affection and some leniency with discipline and structure as the default, things work out fine.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [14 Aug 19:12 Europe/Oslo]

A keyring pair :)

Two keyrings next to each other, one green with a grinning monkey and the text I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it and the other pink with a pig on a mountain of chocolate with the text Save the earth, it's the only planet with chocolate

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [15 Jun 14:41 Europe/Oslo]

Isak done eating

No description available

After baby monkey has gotten his rice-banana porridge, daddy monkey can have his banana.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [27 Mar 17:30 Europe/Oslo]

Isak in the baptizement dress

No description available

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [18 Mar 21:23 Europe/Oslo]

Some good moments

The last 8-12 weeks have been tough, sometimes excruciating.

The funny thing about mental problems is that they're not easily visible. You can see someone is down and out, but that's about it.

Anyway, I'm getting these things sorted out somehow, seeing Isak smile and evolve is what keeps me up as well as support from Hilde.

It feels like I'm somehow (and have been for a while) trapped in my own mind, thougths, fantasies and nightmares and I get the feeling someone is pushing my buttons but haven't given easily traceable directions.

It's weird, time goes by for decades and centuries and things change, but it is still a game, a game of perception, illusion and invisible groups and dynamics.

Oh well, I think of myself as a metal box which has contained the blast.

Spin away... And keep notes.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [04 Jan 01:19 Europe/Oslo]

2 days old

So, Isak arrived a couple of days ago, at 00:38 on the 15th of October.

The contractions started at around 5 o'clock on Tuesday morning, so the whole process took a while.

I've seen and read a bit about birth and maybe thought the process was a bit .. unappetizing. It is a brutal, painful and messy process. But when we were in the middle of it, my mind was a bit foggy and it all seemed like a natural process (it felt natural thanks to the staff I guess, they were very good).

The result is wonderful and beautiful.

The hospital (Ahus) we're at is very modern and well equipped, and the staff is great. Initially, a couple of the staff we've been interacting with have been .. strict/a bit sour, but as we weren't too demanding they softened up and showed some more care. I guess they have to be a bit strict at times to get a hold of the situation and then they can soften up. I would guess most are working in the health sector because they like caring for people after all. :)

So far in my life, I've found kids crying to be a bit or more annoying most of the time. But when Isak popped out and started crying, it was the best sound in the world. :')

Here's a pic for those of you who want to see:

http://blogologue.com/isak-sleeping.jpg

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [16 Oct 22:10 Europe/Oslo]

Trip to the hospital

We went to the hospital earlier today, as there were some signs that things were in motion. No major motions yet though, so we're waiting to see.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [11 Oct 22:22 Europe/Oslo]

5 days to go

So, 5 days to go until the planned arrival today. My head feels like a bit of a mess at times and from what I've read on the net that can happen close up to the birth for both the expecting mom and dad.

I've gotten a completely new perspective on life now that a baby is about to arrive, so..

Sorry for the dumb things I've done - I've learned from them - and I'll do better in the time to come.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [11 Oct 00:52 Europe/Oslo]

Priorities (turn the volume down)

I've been reflecting about my life lately, especially now that Isak is about to arrive.. I see it as a big responsibility raising a child or three, and in todays high-paced society it is important to take the time to do simple things (in Norwegian):

http://mycornerintheworld.wordpress.com/2009/10/07/sa-kan-ma...

My dad worked as a cop (just retired) and my mom worked in the healthcare sector (also communal/state). I see on the news some of the things they have to deal with in that line of work, and it can be tough I think..

It would be interesting to work in politics or something similar, I think I could make a contribution there. (Abid Raja who represents my party Venstre is an inspiration: http://no.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abid_Raja)

As I build Nidelven IT I learn a lot which could be applicable in politics, and it might seem as a natural set of stepping stones to go from business to business and non-profit work to politics.

But right now though, I'm happy with where I am. I'm a bit tired, as this successful haemotomachrosis treatment has unleashed a lot of emotions, combined with the adaptation to a new situation with a baby.

I feel like the company is like my farm (or ship) (although it is shared with Stig - http://www.djkoala.org), and it is also my domain where I get to take the lead and.. dictate if necessary. ;) Since I've built up the company I feel comfortable running it too.

So, maybe 5-10 years from now I'll do something different, but for now I'd like to relax, heal, enjoy nature and invest in good health. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [07 Oct 22:24 Europe/Oslo]

14 days to go

:O

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [02 Oct 13:14 Europe/Oslo]

29 days to go

:O

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [17 Sep 19:17 Europe/Oslo]

35 days to go

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [11 Sep 13:05 Europe/Oslo]

42 days to go

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [04 Sep 21:58 Europe/Oslo]

56 days to go

...

We bought a new car today, a Wolkswagen Passat 2006, which is looking promising so far. I'd upload a pic but I'm too lazy right now. ;)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [21 Aug 22:08 Europe/Oslo]

63 days to go

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [14 Aug 12:07 Europe/Oslo]

71 days to go

:O

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [06 Aug 18:19 Europe/Oslo]

81 days to go

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [27 Jul 21:10 Europe/Oslo]

88 days to go

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [20 Jul 21:05 Europe/Oslo]

92 days to go

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [16 Jul 00:49 Europe/Oslo]

Emotional rollercoaster, new perspectives

Today it is 100 days left until the baby (Isak) is planned to arrive. The whole process of waiting for Isak to arrive has changed a lot of my perspectives. Not necessarily what I stand for, but I guess thinking like a parent makes you smarter in some ways.

The days go by, and at times I'm giddy with joy over Isak, at other times I'm scared about the responsability. It is a project for life, after all.

Hilde and I talk about these things, so that helps. Communication is the key. There is some nagging and minor conflicts, but nothing we can't handle. Going around with a baby in the belly can be a strain too I guess (hormones..).

Will Isak become a programmer? A businessman? A musician? A doctor? These are things I think about. I think it would be wise to let him become whatever he wants to be, and not push him too much in any direction. Just listen to what interests him and encourage him.

From hearing from other people, the first period (2 months or so) after the baby is born can be especially tough. Feeding, pooping, diaper changes, crying, getting up in the middle of the night - things like that. But we've made the choice now and have to follow through. It will be interesting, that's for sure.

I'm ready to kick ass, for the new boss.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [08 Jul 16:30 Europe/Oslo]

Heartbeat

http://blogologue.com/isak.wav

:)

(Later.. updated with the right file. Turns out I uploaded some meta-file)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [05 Jul 15:07 Europe/Oslo]

Gingerbread time!

No description available

Hilde had some spare time so she decided to have some fun.  :)


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [28 Nov 14:13 Europe/Oslo]

Family time, trip to Tusenfryd

Since last Friday, we (Hilde & I) have been having family visting, her parents, my mom and the extended family.

Lots of good food & drink, trips here & there.

Yesterday we went to Tusenfryd:

  http://tusenfryd.no/english/location.aspx

an amusement park here just outside of Oslo. Some pictures, me and my mom and Hilde and me:

No description available

No description available

On the last picture there you can see me clinging to the handlebar, as that could help in case something broke and we could fall out.  ;)

Hilde's family is good at arranging things together, and we have some good times;  in the short time we've been together (some 8 months and counting) it feels like I've gotten an big extended family and a lot of new friends.  And as you can see on the picture above, mom is enjoying herself as well.

We even went to the Bruce Springsteen concert on Monday, but I was too busy drinking beer and talking trash to take some pictures.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [09 Jul 19:26 Europe/Oslo]