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Complaint filed against the Family welfare service in Mo i Rana
I was supposed to meet the kids this Saturday, but yesterday at 1731 the meeting supervisor Rubi Stjernen tried to call me, and at 1737 she sent me an SMS saying that the meet was cancelled, and that a new meet could take place in two weeks time.I sent a complaint regarding this, this morning. I was going to take the bus to take the train up to Mo i Rana, but since that got cancelled, I've sent that complaint instead.
The email:
Subject: Complaint against the family welfare office in Mo i Rana
To: Lise Lydersen <lise.lydersen@bufetat.no>
Cc: (My Lawyer) Kent Fredriksen <kf@saverud.com>
Hi.
I had a missed call at 1731 yesteday, from Rubi Stjernen. At 1737 I got an SMS saying that the meet with the kids was cancelled, due to regards to infection control.
See attached.
As you also see attached, Rana commune has [in spite of the recent Corona oubreak], an open library with infection control measures.
The chief physician for Rana commune, says it is OK to do the meet with the kids [attached].
Many meets with the kids have been postponed due to this Corona situation this year, and I question the way the family welfare office have handled the situation; I also question the way they have handled the conflict between me and my kids mom, and their lack of will to communicate [with me].
I also refer to the complaint filed against Justin Smith [manager of the family welfare office] a while ago. [ Complaint is here: https://blogologue.com/blog_entry?id=1575616716X26 ]
By the way, I can inform you that I have experienced a lot of irritating and stressful things the last couple of weeks.
Attachments:
http://blogologue.com/klage2_familievernkontoret_mo_i_rana/s...
http://blogologue.com/klage2_familievernkontoret_mo_i_rana/f...
http://blogologue.com/klage2_familievernkontoret_mo_i_rana/r...
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [06 Nov 08:35 Europe/Oslo]
Charges filed against Nordland police district, formerly Helgeland police district, by Rana police station
Complaint against Nordland police district, formerly Helgeland police district, by Rana police stationI wish to file a complaint against Rana police station, because they have since 2013 been passive, and as a result of that, I've been inflicted considerable financial losses, and suffering.
Furthermore, employees at Rana police station have taken a more aggressive stance to my public posts the last 6 months, without explaining why.
I have reason to believe that they are trying to scare/pressure me into stopping talking (blogging) about what has happened since 2009, as they don't explain what's wrong with my blogging, and why.
In addition to this, employees at Rana police station have tried to pressure me into giving a statement recently, even if they before that got good reasons as to why I couldn't give a statement.
After this, I've mailed with one Joakin Einhaug at Rana police station, where I have repeated what I've earlier said about the matter, without getting any response.
Morten W. Petersen
9. April 2020
Original complaint (In Norwegian).
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [19 Jun 09:49 Europe/Oslo]
A notice of concern regarding Justin Smith, leader of the Norwegian family welfare office in Mo i Rana, and the family welfare offices in general
So, this week I got an email from Justin Smith, leader of the family welfare office in Mo i Rana. I was disturbed by this email, in addition to behaviour he has displayed earlier. Here is that email.Subject: A notice of concern regarding Justin Smith, leader of the Norwegian family welfare office in Mo i Rana, and the family welware offices in general
To: postmottak@bufdir.no
Cc: Justin Smith <justin.smith@bufetat.no>,
Lise Lydersen <lise.lydersen@bufetat.no>,
Vebjørn Svidal <vebjornsvidal@gmail.com>,
lillian.naerem@rana.kommune.no,
rana.tingrett@domstol.no,
post.trondelag@politiet.no,
Postmottak Nordland politidistrikt <post.nordland@politiet.no>,
sylvakrogh@outlook.com
Hi.
I'm concerned regarding Justin Smith, as he displays a behaviour that is unsuitable, with regard to him being a leader that arbitrates in family conflicts, and has the role of overseeing [time parents have with their kids], which I have gone to court to get, time with my kids.
Justin Smith has earlier this year (on the 16th of August), asked for a meeting with regards to the supervised time I have with the kids. I said yes to this meeting, and a few days later, I added some points which I wanted to discuss. I sent a reminder regarding this meeting on the 17th of September, and the 4th of October. Wanting to have this meeting was also mentioned by me on the 13th of November, in an email about a new round of arbitration.
I think Justin Smith is quite foggy and at times annoying to talk to, and that the family welfare office in Mo i Rana and Trondheim, doesn't come across in a way one might expect - as a neutral party for the best interest of the kids. Where their best interest is among other things, to have [a good relation with their dad].
It seems for example that he [Justin, in conversations], waits for me to say something, and then starts to say something, [to disrupt and/or annoy me].
..the meeting [that Justin originally wanted] was never arranged, and a couple of weeks ago, I called the family welfare office (familievernkontoret i Mo i Rana) in Mo, and talked to Justin Smith. There I suggested 2 alternatives for having the meeting. One was that Bufetat (The Norwegian Directorate for Children, Youth and Family Affairs ), paid for the travel expenses, where the meeting could take place outside of the periods where I see the kids, the other was a meeting over the phone, where I get to loan an office space from the family welfare office in Trondheim (familivernkontoret i Trondheim). Justin was negative to both of these alternatives. I then suggested a third alternative, that I rent an office in Trondheim, and send the bill to Bufetat. I did not catch a positive response to this. It is important for the meeting to be able to speak openly, without [people that had no right to hear confidential information being able to hear it].
This shows that several alternatives for having a meeting have been suggested.
Justin knows, or should know, that it is an extremely small amount of time I get with the kids compared to what I want, that the kids mom [Hilde Olsen] only wants to share expenses for the cheapest transport [added: about 500km each way on train] and not staying overnight in a hotel, and that there has been a long conflict, and still is, between me and the kids mom. And that I think it is important to get the most out of the time I get with the kids.
I have previously said that I wanted arbitration about the parental resposibilities, where they live, time with parents etc. to be outside of the periods I have time with the kids, to get the most out of these times with the kids.
To then force in a meeting at 09:00, the exact same time as the time with my kids starts, is therefore strange, and inconsiderate. It goes without saying that this also limits the amount of time I can use on the meeting (talk about things I want/need to discuss), and that it disrupts the execution of the time I have with the kids.
I think it is important to have good health, and for example regularly check my blood pressure. The highest blood pressure I've had this year, has been very close time-wise, to a visit to see the kids.
Attached is an email sent to Justin with points I wanted to discuss in addition to what Justin wanted to discuss ( http://blogologue.com/justin1_en.txt ) , and an email sent from Justin this week, with my answers ( http://blogologue.com/justin2_en.txt ).
Regards,
Morten
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [06 Dec 08:18 Europe/Oslo]
A lack of response from the Norwegian family welfare office in Mo i Rana leader Justin Smith
So, a good while ago, the leader of the Norwegian family welfare office in Mo i Rana, Justin Smith, contacted me as he wanted a meeting about the roles the people in the office and the person assisting me in my visits seeing the kids have.I'm not sure what the deal was, because the meeting so far hasn't taken place. But it might have been that I privately wanted to pay the person assisting me (Rubi Stjernen) in these visits for more time, so I could spend more time with the kids, or it could be because I've asked Rubi to welcome the kids, so that I don't have to deal with the the kids mom (Hilde Olsen), her contact person (Vebjørn Svidal, Hilde's brother-in-law an police officer) or any other member of that family.
Anyway, I agreed to such a meeting, then a bit later I figured out there were other things I wanted to discuss, as this conflict about the kids has been going on for 6+ years, and the family welfare office in Trondheim and Mo i Rana have been involved in the conflict for 6+ years.
I sent this email asking for an extended meeting, with the things the leader of the Mo i Rana office wanted to discuss as the first point over 7 weeks ago, but haven't heard anything after that. I send a reminder some weeks ago, and I sent a final reminder last Friday, the 4th of October, asking for comments. I haven't heard anything back.
I think the lack of response, says a lot in itself.
Here's a copy of that email, translated to English:
Subject: About contact meeting
To: Justin Smith, <justin.smith@bufetat.no>
Hi Justin.
I don't have a place to [have a call] that is fully private, so I thought I could borrow a room at the family welfare office in Trondheim.
There are a couple of other things I want to talk about:
1. The roles the family welfare office, visit supervisor etc. have
2. Carrying out visits, wishes
3. Extension of visits [time with the kids]
4. Parental responsibility, why can one party refuse to share information, when is this [considered] irresponsible
5. Review of [conflict] history up until today, confidentiality [non-disclosure], the position of moms and dads in family matters [conflicts], the position of the parent the child is living with, in family matters
I think we can say 15 minutes on each point.
I would like 15 minutes alone in the room before and after the meeting, to prepare and round up. I want the meeting to take place circa in the middle of my [scheduled] visits to see the kids, in about 3 weeks.
I will probably want to have more meetings.
I prefer to have meetings towards the end of the [working] day.
I will record the meetings.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [08 Oct 18:51 Europe/Oslo]
An interesting lack of response from the Rana district court (Rana tingrett)
Long story short: I broke up with the woman I have two kids in 2013, and after I rejected a relationship with her in the spring/summer 2013, it got difficult to see the kids.Court-appointed professionals (suggested by the lawyer of the kids mom?) found me to be very troubled, and the kids mom to "great". I was troubled, but I don't believe the kids mom to be "great". Putting your own needs in front of the kids needs is not great. Not letting me have information about the kids from school, healthcare etc. is not great. The latter borders on negligence in my opinion.
So, I was not satisfied with what the court appointed professionals (suggested by the kids mom) found in 2015, and recently I got a pretty solid proof that these mental health professionals were wrong. For 5 years, the kids mom has claimed that we had an agreement on expenses for seeing the kids, while not having an agreement on how often I should see the kids, or rather, how often they should get to see me.
As I state in this blog post:
http://blogologue.com/frames?url=http://blogologue.com/blog_...
It is illogical and unreasonable. So, on the 7th of November, I mailed these court-appointed professionals about this, and they pretty much will not respond to my request about the kids mom showing enough personality traits / behaviour to classify as a psychopath.
So on the 8th of November, I contacted Rana district court (Rana tingrett) about this. I did not see a reply.
Then I contacted them again on the 13th of November, no reply.
And I contacted them again today, and have as of yet, not seen a reply.
So it has taken over 4 weeks to give a response, and I have not seen any kind of response such as "we got your email, we're looking over things".
The PDF of this email thread is here: http://blogologue.com/rana_tingrett_ikke_svar.pdf
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [05 Dec 23:03 Europe/Oslo]
Here's to you, sis
So, I'm going to court again, to get to see my kids, with supervision, as the kids mom has only let me meet the kids twice since November 2017.Since the summer 2013, I have seen the kids less than 2 hours each month on average, which is too little, given that I have been to family counseling, court, every meet with the kids etc.
Anyway, my sister repeatedly meddled my problems with the kids mom after the break-up, even when I told her not to, and after that I cut her off, removed her as a friend on Facebook etc.
Breaking up with a person is difficult enough in itself, then you have the added emotional burden of not seeing the kids, as well as other things that I'm not going to repeat here. So the sum of many things, and that my sister didn't respect me, led me to the decision of cutting her off.
4 weeks ago, I asked my sister on email if she would answer some question in writing, related to the new court visit. Now, it is punishable by law to lie in these answers, I knew this, and I guess she knows this now as well.
So she has been writing back some, in my opinion, bullshit, and she did not reply to my latest email sent on the 14th of July (over 3 weeks ago), here translated to English:
"""
I think that you can either answer some questions in writing [to the court], or you cannot.
I will have an understanding of the situation after you've answered. It could be that you entirely of your own initiative meddled to help me, or you could have been influenced to more or less pressure me.
It could be that you thought things would become difficult for you, your man and your kids, if I rejected [the kids mom].
So it is either "Yes, I can answer some questions in writing", or "No, I cannot answer some questions in writing.
"""
To me it is pretty clear that my sister has contributed to my problems earlier in life, and I'm glad that she is now out of my life, even though she does have some influence in my life, via my mom. Her "soft voice" gave me the chills last time.
Here's a PDF of that email, in Norwegian: http://blogologue.com/lmp_email.pdf
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [05 Aug 17:06 Europe/Oslo]
More emails with Inger-Ritha Olsen, leader of child protection services, Rana municipality
So, I emailed some more with Inger-Ritha Olsen, and I have not seen a response since I emailed her last Friday, 4 days ago. I have also not seen a vacation message saying she for example moved to Spain and married her Spanish lawyer.So here are the messages, I think they are pretty self-explanatory. Translated, originals are here and here.
To: Inger-Ritha Olsen
Cc: Lawyer, Healthcare, Family counselling, Rana court, Trøndelag County Manager office
Bcc: Dad, police
Subject: Recommended tapering speed, Seroquel
Date: Friday, 16th of March 2018, 19:02
Hi again Inger-Ritha.
There was one thing I was wondering about. It is the case that I want more contact with the kids.
I've made this clear to the kids, because I feel it is important that they know I want more contact, because they will then feel wanted.
[Comment: It's been recommended to me that I keep the conflict level down when talking to the kids, because they shouldn't have to take sides, manage the stress etc. at their age]
But what's your opinion about [the oldest son] being separated from me, and me having little contact with [the youngest son]?
How does this affect their mental health, in the short term and the long term? What about their personality?
They must have understood by now, that things aren't alright now, or later. Who is going to explain things to them?
What does a child feel, if it can see that one parent is fake, and hinders contact with the other parent, and the child is caught up in that situation?
What does [the oldest son] feel if he finds sensitive and partially incorrect information about me, and [the kids mom] has set that up?
Regards,
Morten
Email 2
To: Inger-Ritha Olsen
Cc: Lawyer, Healthcare, Family counselling, Rana court, Trøndelag county manager office
Bcc: Dad, police
Date: Monday, 19th of March 2018, 19:57
Hi again Inger-Ritha.
If I don't see a reply on this email by 1500 Tuesday, I will blog about this as well.
Regards,
Morten
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [20 Mar 15:45 Europe/Oslo]
Some emails with Inger-Ritha Olsen, leader of child protection services, Rana municipality
So, I haven't seen the kids in person since November 2017, and I've had one video chat with the kids this year.I've asked for more physical meet-ups, and video chats, but the kids mom is not cooperating.
So my lawyer sent a letter last week, asking that the kids mom agrees to supervision from the state so I can see the kids, be relaxed about seeing the kids and also fulfilling the kids moms "needs" to be assured things are going OK.
I exchanged some emails with Inger-Ritha Olsen today, leader of the child protection services in Rana municipality. I've been in contact with her several times, and also sent "concern messages" regarding the kids well-being. My impression is that the kids want to see me more, but the kids mom doesn't respect that.
So yes, today I emailed her (email 1, email 2 and email 3 on the tail of that email thread), and she has been droning on about this not being a matter for the child protection services, that the kids mom makes it difficult to see the kids or that she has used them to blackmail me/harass me sexually.
On that last email I asked Inger-Ritha if it is tolerable that a mom makes it difficult for the dad to see the kids, if the dad rejects a sexual relationship with the mom. I've seen the kids 2-3 hours on average each month since the summer of 2013.
And the mental health professionals in the court case in the summer of 2015 painted a glorious picture of the kids mom, despite her selfish actions.
With the court case in 2015 which looks like a joke, I have no other real option than to go for a minimum of time seeing the kids in court the next time, because that is what would be difficult to lose on in court, and I wouldn't have to bear the court costs of the kids mom when "losing" a case.
And the court costs for the previous case are something I have to pay, and it was 80.000 NOK, but is now according to the mom, close to 100.000 NOK. That more than 8000-10000 euros, or 10-13000 US dollars. So the kids mom is earning interest on a court case she saw as "necessary", and I have an income of under 200.000 NOK per year.
I have not seen a reply from Inger-Ritha Olsen yet on my last questions.
Email 1 has been edited to remove the name of the kids mom, and may look slightly different.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [15 Mar 19:01 Europe/Oslo]
The kids mom is not cooperating
So, I heard at the start of this week, that the kids mom is coming to Steinkjer this weekend, from my mom.The kids mom has rejected meeting me in a public play park in Steinkjer today, because I won't sign an agreement she has dictated, regarding seeing the kids.
So after using the kids to try to get sex, then trying to get me to keep my mouth shut, she is now using them to get an agreement she has dictated, and she won't answer simple questions about the agreement. I have no trust in the kids mom, so I can't sign an agreement where I am forced to be at her place, with only her family around.
She will not setup meets in public places, for example in kids play parks, which I know the kids enjoy.
So rather symbolically, I stopped by the Trondheim train station today, to show that I was there and ready to take the train about 200 KMs to see the kids, but the kids mom would not set it up.
Because the kids mom has been difficult for over 4,5 years now, I am now publishing the latest email thread, where the man married to the kids mom twin sister, is acting as a negotiatior. I'm also showing the last SMS sent to the kids mom, confirming that my understanding is that she will not let me see the kids in a public place.
The SMS was sent yesterday, Friday, today is Saturday.
Because these last files contain names, I am blocking web indexing spiders, so that it will not be possible to search by their name on Google for example and find this blog post.
I think that's a fair compromise, between upping the sanctions to get a solution, and protecting privacy.
http://blogologue.com/steinkjer_2018/epost.pdf
http://blogologue.com/steinkjer_2018/sms.png
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [03 Feb 14:14 Europe/Oslo]
Charges pressed against the Norwegian police, and the Norwegian health care system
So, earlier today I filed a police report, filed a report, reported the police and health care system, to the police. And to the justice department.In english, the content of that report was (roughly translated):
Subject: Charges pressed against the Norwegian police, and the Norwegian health care system
To: post.trondelag@politiet.no, post@spesialenheten.no, post.nordland@politiet.no, Tiller-DPS@stolav.no, post@stolav.no, postmottak@jd.dep.no
Cc: Sveinung Hestad Strand <strand@advokatsf.no>
Hi.
I want to press charges against the Norwegian police, and the Norwegian health care system, for the legally punishable actions they have made, in connection with the case that the woman I have two children with, has made it difficult to see the kids since the summer 2013, as well as other things.
And by actions, I mean that choosing to not do something, is an active choice/action as well.
It looks like the kids mom also before the summer 2013, laid plans to make it difficult for me to see the kids, and I have a reason to also consider that she could have done things, before the firstborn was born, which later could be used in manipulation, making it difficult to see the kids etc.
After a round in court and 4,5 years, it is still difficult to get simple things regarding seeing the kids done. One week before the first time I was seeing the kids after going to court, I was in an accident that could have resulted in paralysis and/or death.
A signed copy of these charges is coming soon.
<signature, date>
<different identification and contact information.>
A PDF of the signed document is here: http://blogologue.com/0567_001.pdf
[Permalink] [By morphex] [I will soon be reporting the police in Trondheim and Mo i Rana, and the health care system, to the police, for their criminal (in)actions (Atom feed)] [27 Jan 21:34 Europe/Oslo]
I will soon be reporting the police in Trondheim and Mo i Rana, and the health care system, to the police, for their criminal (in)actions
In a recent calculation, I found that since the summer 2013, I've seen the kids on average, 2-3 hours each month. And that is something I have worked (too) hard at getting.So the kids mom and I have been in a conflict since then. I think it is safe to say that the situation is about as bad today, as it was in the summer 2013; in other words, it has not improved.
I have been in contact with the police in Mo i Rana, and Trondheim and they have been well informed, and the health care system has also been well informed since 2009/2010. Other state instances have also been informed / in the loop at times.
The last time I went to the police at Trondheim central police station, the person receiving my complaint regarding the kids mom, smiled and shrugged at me, calling it a matter for a civil suit. I've already been to court once.
I think it has been well documented that the kids mom is not cooperating, and I have seen little action from the police. And from what I see in the law text, if one parent makes it difficult for the other parent to see the kids, without reason, that is a criminal offence.
So I am within days, going to sign and send a document where I am reporting the police and the state health care system for their criminal (in)actions. It will be sent to the police in Trondheim, the police in Mo i Rana and the local health care branch. It will also be sent to what I guess translates to the internal affairs branch of the police.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [26 Jan 21:44 Europe/Oslo]
Questioning mental health experts in the Norwegian court
So.. it's been well over 2 years since the court case, which I participated in to get to see my kids and clear up some things about the kids mom, after many unfortunate acts and questionable behaviour.When I was in court the summer 2015, and afterwards, it felt like a weird experience, for different reasons. But looking back at the whole process, there are a lot of questionable things going on.
But a week ago, I sent an email to the court-appointed mental health experts that were to evaluate me and the kids mom. In their report and in court, they said that the kids mom had no narcissistic or sociopathic traits.
I don't have any formal psychological education, but with my experience of the kids mom and life in general, I find that hard to believe.
So in this email I asked the mental health experts in what was called "INSTITUTT FOR KLINISK FOREBYGGENDE TILTAK AS" [Edit: LTD replaced with AS] (loosely translated to "INSTITUTE FOR CLINICALLY PREVENTATIVE MEASURES LTD" [Edit: Added LTD]), now called "KLINISK KOMPETANSETEAM AS" (loosely translated to "CLINICAL COMPETENCE TEAM LTD"), if they could clarify what they meant by saying that the kids mom had no narcissistic or sociopathic traits, and also say something about how likely it is in general that a person does not have a trait in one of those categories.
It looks like that email was sent 09:05 AM on the 21st of December, and counting the 21st, 22nd, 27th and 28th as working days, I have not seen a response on email, regular snail mail or my phone from these mental health experts. I would think that they could at least give an indication that they would or would not answer in 4 working days.
As for my timing right around Christmas eve, well the case was submitted to the court right before Christmas 2014, by the kids mom. And this is their j-o-b.
It should be mentioned that I filed a complaint to the police against these mental health experts earlier, for false testimony. I have not heard anything from the police regarding this, which is interesting in itself. But I was at the Trondheim police station some weeks ago, wanting to file a complaint against the kids mom, but the person receiving me smiled, shrugged it off and called it a private matter and something that belongs in a civil suit(...).
I've previously written about these mental health experts here:
http://blogologue.com/blog_entry?id=1493643449X05
On a last note, I've talked to other people regarding this, and it seems that equality for mom and dad isn't a reality here in Norway. That's one thing, another might be regional politics, meaning old-fashioned culture and/or a need to keep the population numbers growing.
To me it is clear that the kids mom has played me for some years now, but I doubt she or those directly around her has the muscle to pull off all of this, all by themselves.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [28 Dec 18:27 Europe/Oslo]
What is the Norwegian police up to?
So, I sent in a formal complaint to the police at the end of February this year, 2017.It was a formal complaint about the mental health professionals who made a report, and a sworn testimony, during the trial the summer 2015 about my kids, me and their mom.
I haven't heard anything back about it, and recently I had to ask twice for a receipt, reporting another incident which happened a couple of years ago, which could have left med paralyzed or dead.
Now I thought to myself that I would refrain from blogging about this in the interest of keeping the collaboration climate between me and the kids mom cooler, but when the actions of the police on the one hand is difficult to understand, and the kids mom still doesn't collaborate in a satisfactory fashion, I think I have the right and need to blog about it.
I think there are a couple of key things here which should be mentioned. Since the summer 2013 I've had significant costs visiting my kids, and after raising the issue many times over many years, I understood it that this february, we could split the cost 50/50 if all prior costs were forfeited. I think my costs are around 20-30.000 NOK now, and my current income is less than 200.000 NOK per year. A lot less than what the kids mom is earning. I do pay child support, and I don't have any child support debt.
Now this is when the law says that travel expenses for seeing the kids should be split between parents according to their income, and it was the kids mom that decided to move 500km north and away.
Another thing is the court expenses; since I "lost" the case, I have to pay the expenses for the kids mom's lawyer. These also have a 12% interest. When I tried to negotiate a solution through the lowest court or arbitrator of claims here in Norway, they were unable to get in touch with the kids mom.
And finally, I asked during recent negotations that I call the kids on videochat every week, and now the kids mom says it will only happen every 2 weeks - this without there being any major problems during the video chats that have been. But I did reject talking to the kids mom over videochat in that period.
Finally, here is an image with names redacted, of the complaint I made this year to the police. It is in Norwegian, I will translate it later.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [19 Oct 21:49 Europe/Oslo]
Caught up in the Norwegian sausage factory
So, these 2 last days I've been able to see my kids, for 3 hours in a indoor play park and today for 2 hours were we did normal stuff.I suggested 5 hours in the play park, but that wasn't possible, so it ended up being 3 hours.
I think the time we had together was nice, very good yesterday and OK today as the oldest one didn't seem like he was in great shape.
But I guess this is mostly a post to shake my fist at the system, as long as babies are born and the state gets its inhabitants, it doesn't seem like it matters much exactly how.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [03 Aug 19:42 Europe/Oslo]
Is this war?
So, I got to see my kids this weekend, and it was nice. We had a good time and celebrated the birthday of the youngest one.During these times with the kids, there is a person there from the state, in something called "supporting supervision". Which is something I wanted and agreed to in court, mostly because I didn't know what kind of tricks their mom could pull or stories she could cook up, with or without the help of others.
I talk a bit with the supervisor during these visits and she also talked in a war metaphor, about giving in etc. Which is interesting, because the mental health professionals that said the kids mom was "great" in court also said something like it at one point, and I believe before the problems seeing my kids started, the kids mom also used a war metaphor, saying something like "if you want war you'll get war".
Now it's interesting that the war metaphor is used. War is war, war has rules and you have to follow the law regardless.
It seems that the kids mom sees the war metaphor as doing whatever you like, even breaking the law, to reach whatever objective you have.
Before the final break up, we had an agreement that others (independent professionals) can and have verified about me seeing the kids 3 days every second weekend. But the kids mom never signed my copy, so the police in Mo i Rana wouldn't do anything when the kids mom cut me off from the kids.
In addition to that, the kids moms said that she would like to have a relationship, also a purely sexual one, before the final break-up. When I didn't want a relationship with her, things got difficult. (Long story short, me and the kids mom had problems, we went to family counselling and struck a deal on me seeing the kids, she moved, I rejected a relationship with her, she cut me off from the kids, we went to court, I got a verdict that I could see the kids, I've been seeing the kids).
So what she did was deceitful, maybe goes into the fraud category and that she abused the position she had with the kids and stopping me from seeing them, is something that persisted over a long period of time, and goes somewhere in the range of sexual harassment to attempted rape. And emotional blackmail as well.
Furthermore, I've talked a bit about this with different people, including women, and none of the women have really objected to what's going on.
So maybe something is going on or has been said about me that I haven't heard, or this behaviour and war-metaphor thinking is something that reflects the thinking of a significant segment of the female population here in Norway.
This isn't acts of war, it is simply criminal acts, made by a person that has problems interacting with the world in a way at least I see as normal.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [28 Apr 00:12 Europe/Oslo]
Not getting information on my kids
So, I have had access to a little bit of my oldest sons school information in an online IT system, but that access has been retracted now.The principal Bente Grønningen Marthinussen at the school is referring to the verdict last year, which does give the kids mom the custody rights.
Now from what I gathered from my lawyer, granting one parent these rights is a way of dampening the conflict between the parents.
But since the verdict, I've participated a little bit in my oldest sons school activities, and I can't see I've done anything negative in that regard.
So it seems the kids mom is over time doing the one thing she has the power to do, and that is provocate using the kids as a pawn, first denying me access to the kids, then changing their last name (which used to be mine), then denying me information from kindergarten and school.
Couple this with sexual assault, sexual harassment, trying to force me into a sexual relationship, hinting that she was just using me to have kids and then using that argument against me and things are looking pretty ugly.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [13 Dec 11:01 Europe/Oslo]
Revenge is a dish best served cold
So, I was with the kids a couple of weeks ago, we had 4 hours together and had a good time. However, at the hand-off of the kids, the kids mom and I ended up in a discussion about various things - and she referred to my blog as "that damned blog". Obviously she doesn't like that I'm writing about what's happening, and that is understandable because it can make her look bad, interfere with her plans and so on.Now, I've blogged various things about the situtation about not seeing the kids, and I thought I'd give a summary / repetition about what has happened over a long period of time, and fill in some extra information.
So, first thing is first. I met the kids mom maybe around 2007, and my first son was born in October 2009. Around the time of his birth, I got some medication from my doctor, and also became psychotic (with among other things, hallucinations). Since the start of 2010 I've been taking anti-psychotic medication, and most of the time I've also gone to therapy, seeing psychiatrists and psychologists.
In 2010, we moved to my hometown, Trondheim, and lived there for 3 years. During this period, things were going better for me, I was working a bit, taking the oldest son to kindergarten, playing with him and so on.
But also in the same period, the relationship between the kids mom and I deteriorated, and in the start of 2013, she went back to her hometown, Mo i Rana.
In the deteriorating period, we went to family counselling together, and the kids mom also went there by herself. But that didn't help. So when we broke up in the start of 2013, we made an agreement at this counselling office, that I should get to see the kids 3 days every 2 weeks.
[Edit: Added paragraph]
Over a period of years, I have not gotten to see the kids as often as I wanted to, and I've been in contact with the police among others regarding this.
[/Edit]
However, the kids mom never signed my copy of that agreement, so later on the police wouldn't do anything about it. Here is an email thread where the family counselling office verifies that we were in agreement on how things should be regarding me seeing the kids:
http://blogologue.com/referat_fra_meklingstime.pdf
So in the period from January 2013 to May 2013, things were a bit back and forth, and when the kids mom left in May 2013, I made it clear that I did not want to be in a relationship with her.
I think before that final no from my side, we had made an agreement that I would come up some weeks later to help take care of the kids while someone in the kids moms family had a coming-of-age ceremony. I was there at that ceremony, and sat opposite the kids mom. She looked as if she had a very strained, doll-like smiling face, while you could see in her eyes that she was sad and angry.
Her parents were present as well, and took care of the kids until I figured out it was better to be wandering around with the oldest son to avoid dealing with the kids mom and that weird situation.
Anyway, during that visit in Mo, the kids mom came in one morning and touched me in an intimate place, even though I made it clear that I didn't want any kind of relationship. Maybe in a timespan of a couple of months before that, the kids mom more or less said that she would like just a sexual relationship.
So, maybe the same day or the day after this morning incident, the weird mood at the ceremony and all this, I got upset and used a loud voice to make it clear that this was something I didn't accept. As I was angry and said different things, the kids mom fiddled with the phone as she was recording something, if I remember correctly, she also purposely sounded stressed or scared during this argument.
So I feel she did a lot of things to aggravate me, and then either did record something that was a misrepresentation of the situation - or just pretended to.
Fast forward a couple of years, I'm now getting to see the kids on a regular basis, but the kids mom is still denying me visits to the kindergarten and school to see the kids, and she doesn't give any reason as to why.
But then, at the last visit to see the kids, at the hand-off, she said something along the lines of "at the school they don't have anyone who can keep an eye on you" - as if I could be a threat. I'm not a threat, and the following document shows that there are two things I've been diagnosed with during my treatment, and that is a psychosis and an anxiety disorder:
http://blogologue.com/skann-av-uttalelse-fra-helsevesenet.jp...
I can add that this was said in front of the kids, and I don't know what the oldest son got of the conversation, but that also is not a good thing. The kids mom has been offered to talk with my therapists before and has done so, and it could have been arranged this year as well.
So I'm starting to think that either the kids mom had a plan and is now caught in her own web and doesn't know exactly what to do, or she is a psychopath or something along those lines. I think that she all the way has had a wish and a plan to live in Mo i Rana, and has been working towards that.
As for myself these days, I'm doing OK. I'm no longer that suspicious of women and no longer see their flirting and attempts at seducation as something negative.
Now, finally I'd like to add that I think criminal acts, mental illness and so on are mostly private matters. The reason I'm mentioning them here is that it is relevant, because I want to have contact with my kids and ensure they are doing well and become good people. There is also a bit of revenge from my side in this, and that's because I've been very upset and angry about this situation for a long time, and the one thing that made the situation bearable was that I was going to get the kids mom for what she did - by telling it in public.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [05 Oct 21:44 Europe/Oslo]
More on seeing the kids
So, I talked with my oldest sons contact teacher last school year, about coming to visit my son at school, see how things are etc. I was under the impression that this was OK. On my last visits to see my kids, I've been talking to my oldest son about coming to visit his school and he has been excited about this.However, now my son has gotten a new contact teacher, and I got an email from the school principal today that I couldn't come visit him after all, and they refererred to the verdict from the court.
Now I'm assuming the kids mom has dropped by with the verdict, and has actively worked to stop this visit, because she did the same when it came to me visiting my youngest son in kindergarden.
I really don't know what to say about this, except that I'm not shocked that this has happened.
I think it's worth mentioning that this week I started getting heavy pains due to what seems to be a tennis elbow, and this after I started getting treatment and exercises because of an accident last year. An accident I'm not sure was entirely an accident.
Now, this is not much in itself, but I think it's worth mentioning that the response from the school principal came one week after I sent them an email, and that the accident last year happened one week before the first time after the verdict that I was going to see the kids without the kids mom meddling in, with a supervisor.
Now this may all be coincidental, but maybe a year or two before I and the kids mom made the final break-up, her dad drove up to me one summer and said 7 and nothing else. He has also given me the impression that he knows well there is something called "affekt" in Norwegian law, where a crime has been committed under what one can call heavy emotional influence can get a lower prison sentence than one done with consideration first.
[Update, 21st of September]
OK, so I've asked the principal at this school, Bente Grønningen Marthinussen, if she could verify that it was in fact the kids mom that dropped by with the verdict, and if the kids mom gave her the entire document, or just the verdict itself. As the entire document contains sensitive information which can affect many people, I think that's a fair question.
The principal refuses to give an answer, and has several times referred to the initial document/email which says I can't visit my son at school. I guess she can do that, and I can blog about it.
Anyway, it's going to be difficult to tell the oldest kid that his mom has refused me visiting him at school, as that was something he was looking forward to.
The kids mom has stopped responding to written emails and messages entirely, and I'm not going to call her as I suspect she'd twist that call into something it wasn't, and I can't legally record it either.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [16 Sep 11:50 Europe/Oslo]
An update on seeing my kids, court costs etc.
So, the kids mom went to the authorities a while ago, to get her court expenses covered, as she won the case. I didn't appeal because I got something I hadn't had before, a legally binding agreement to see my kids on a regular basis.Anyway, out of nowhere the kids mom went to the authorities to get her court expenses covered, and I opened a letter just now detailing the verdict in this claim. Since I've been psychotic, my business has been slowly winding down etc. - I haven't had the income that I used to have, and today I get a minimum rate economical support from the state.
Anyway, the kids mom had her court expenses, and now I have to pay 500 NOK per month, on a 80000 NOK debt with a 12% annual interest. I see that the highest interest rate for a savings account in Norway is 3%, so basically the kids mom is going to get a decent return on investment maybe the coming years, as I don't see myself working a lot for the time to come.
So from being an emotionally agonizing period where I didn't get to see my kids on a regular basis, I now get to see my kids, but I also have economical pressure on me and a depressing growing debt.
I think this whole thing has been very difficult, and it has sucked a lot of energy and time from me, in an already difficult situation. I found out something interesting though, a week before my last visit to the kids, I woke up with a foggy vision and saw rainbows around light sources, and from what I've googled on the net, it looks like it could be from an allergic reaction. Wind the clock back some months, and I also had a very nasty accident on the bus which split open the skin on the back of my head, a week before seeing my kids.
So I think that I haven't only been played by the kids mom, I think others may have contributed as well, and that in a period where I've been treated (going to therapy, taking medication) for psychosis and an anxiety disorder.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [04 Jun 04:42 Europe/Oslo]
Call from the police
So a short while ago, I got a call from the police, because the kids mom had contacted them, as she found my blogging "uncomfortable" (my wording).I told the police that what I'd blogged about the court case, seeing my kids, etc. was true and correct, and that almost all of what I blogged could be documented.
But, I'm going to take a pause from blogging about seeing my kids, the court case and so on, until I've talked to my lawyer about it, thought about it, talked some more to the police and seeing if anything comes from the kids mom and her lawyer.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [10 May 14:50 Europe/Oslo]
More on seeing the kids
So, yesterday I got a unpleasant surprise when I opened a letter at my mom's place, as the kids mom had gone to the authorities, to force me to pay for her expenses on the court case we were in regarding the kids.So I'll have to go through a process documenting my income, expenses and belongings so that her claim can be fulfilled.
My understanding from my lawyer was that expenses regarding the trial would go via him, and we've sought to cover both my expenses and the kids mom's expenses from the state.
As far as I know, the kids mom is well off financially, with an above average income and millions of kroner (NOK) in fortune.
Since the summer 2013 I've had significant expenses for seeing the kids, and the law is that these expenses should be divided between the parents, according to income. I don't have much income, as I've been sick for a long period of time.
Expenses for me seeing the kids was something the kids mom and her lawyer agreed to find a deal on, after the day in court, after the judge had left the room. I think that since the day in court, I have not heard or seen one constructive thing regarding expenses for me seeing the kids.
So I think this shows a couple of things. Either my lawyer has made a mistake, or the kids mom is stepping over a line. I wouldn't be surprised if the kids mom did step over a line, as she has been been threatening, harassing and assaulting in the past.
To make things more interesting, I thought my last visit with the kids went well, and asked the supervisor from the state if she saw any reason why the kids mom should be present in the house, on a text message after the visit. She has responded to my earlier SMS messages, but this time she did not give any reply and that's been almost 2 weeks now.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [21 Apr 11:50 Europe/Oslo]
More on seeing the kids
So, I got to see my kids this 27th of February, following the visit the kids every 6th week agreement laid down by the court.After seeing the kids, the state supervisor said that the kids mom wanted some changes in the schedule, to accomodate holidays I presume. To be on the safe side, I've contacted my lawyer about it and I'm waiting for a response there.
But it is now about 2 months since I contacted the kids mom via email, as I want to see the kids more, and the oldest kid has expressed that he wants me to visit more often. This last time I visited the kids, they both said that they wanted me to visit in kindergarten / school as well.
So the kids mom doesn't want to communicate to me on email about seeing the kids, but she can communicate via others to get changes in the schedule for me seeing the kids.
That's interesting enough, but this morning I was thinking about the trial again, and the report from the court-appointed mental health specialists. The report was very favourable towards the kids mom, and even the people from kindergarten said that me being there visiting the kids was awkward and inappropriate.
I thought the visits to the kids kindergarten went OK, but I guess I might seem a bit lethargic due to the medications I was on. I thought one of the guys there who showed me around seemed very nervous and anxious, I don't know what the reason for that was.
But, interestingly enough, a (I guess close) friend of the kids mom works in the kindergarten, her name is Elisabeth Bjørnådal and the kindergarten is Mjølan barnehage. It might be that she has coloured the perception of me there, or that someone has pulled some strings to get the kindergarten to say what they did to the court appointed mental health people.
In the break-up period with the kids mom, I remember though that the kids mom said something along the lines of me just using her to have kids to this Elisabeth. On the other hand, for example my mom has said to me that she thought that I was just sad about the break-up etc. - same as the mom of the kids mom said to the court appointed mental health professionals.
So it seems that there may be different perceptions of me in this whole thing, and I'm not sure who's mostly responsible for that but there is an obvious person or group of persons that could have something to do with it.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [16 Mar 05:09 Europe/Oslo]
More on seeing the kids
So I went to trial last summer, to get to see more of the kids.One of the things the kids mom has been on about, is that I've been mentally ill (which is true), but so much that I couldn't be alone with the kids, or rather that she had to be there whenever I was to be with the kids.
The kids mom been playing that card for a long time, and the last time I saw the kids, she had to meddle about something that I could have sorted out with my oldest son myself, so in my opinion she's using the kids to keep some contact with me, what the motivation for that contact is, I don't know, but obvious reasons could be to establish a relationship, even though I don't want to have anything to do with her, in any way.
And I've made that perfectly clear, many times.
Anyway, when I went to trial, I remember the kids moms lawyer saying something along the lines of documentation about my mental health from my therapist hadn't been submitted to the court.
In my email records I can see that a document regarding my mental health had been sent to the kids mom and her lawyer towards the end of 2013, and that document is here:
http://blogologue.com/skann-av-uttalelse-fra-helsevesenet.jp...
It says clearly that nothing in their treatment of me has given them reason to contact other authorities, regarding me and my kids. And therapists are bound by law to give notice if they discover something of concern.
I sent an email to the current lawyer of the kids mom, Anne Fladvad working at Advokathuset Helgeland, and will see what she has to say about this.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [12 Feb 05:07 Europe/Oslo]
Failure to communicate and collaborate (seeing more of the kids)
So, I've blogged now and then about my issues seeing the kids, and the kids mom that isn't cooperating.Two weeks ago today, I sent an email to the kids mom, as well as the family mediation unit where she lives about seeing the kids more often, but neither the kids mom or the unit has replied.
The email I sent the kids mom about seeing the kids more is here:
http://blogologue.com/epost_til_mor.png
The email I sent to the family unit in Mo i Rana (commune) is here:
http://blogologue.com/epost_til_justin.png
I think it's a bad thing that neither the mom nor the family unit are able to communicate when I want to setup something to see the kids more often.
Interestingly, I sent an email to the kids mom on the 19th of January, to which she replied on the 23rd of January:
http://blogologue.com/epost_til_mor_hvordan_ungene_har_det.p...
Telling me a little bit about how the kids are doing. So she is reading email.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [02 Feb 17:32 Europe/Oslo]
Getting to see my kids on a regular basis
So, I've gotten to see my kids a couple of times now, and that's nice.It's good to have a steady and predictable schedule for seeing them, and the supervisor that's there from the state is a good person to have around, as I have issues being alone with the kids mom.
So I get to see my kids 4 hours every six weeks now, and although I enjoy being with the kids and being there for them, every time I get back home it is a bit sad to know that it'll be 6 weeks until I see them again. I don't know how they feel about it after I leave, but I know they want me to be there more often.
I decided a couple of weeks ago to go another round in the court to get full custody of the kids, as I have doubts about how the kids are doing and how they'll turn out when they're older. The previous trial was also a bit poorly prepared from our (me and my lawyer's) side, so I thought it all was a bit unfair and the wrong things were considered and put weight on. And I'm sceptical about the report from the court appointed mental health professionals which concluded that the kids mom had no narcissistic or sociopathic traits (too good to be true for a lot of, if not most, people).
The trial was in June 2015 and the verdict said the first appointment for seeing the kids was the 1. of August, but that fell through, as did the next appointment. I've blogged about that earlier: http://blogologue.com/blog_entry?id=1441623208X02
It's not peaches going another round in court though, as certain things are stacked against me. For example the status quo principle that the situation for the kids should not be changed is important, so even though the sum of the other parts are in my favour, it might go the other way anyway.
I've thought a bit about this, and when the first kid was born I became psychotic, and was under treatment and heavily medicated when me and the kids mom split up in the start of 2013. So I had enough to deal with at that time, and was probably depressed and tired after the psychotic episode as well as the break-up, and wasn't able to muster going to trial. I also couldn't be alone with the kids mom, so seeing them became difficult.
So I guess it's a wait and see thing, to establish a good relationship with the kids again and then go another round in court.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [19 Jan 11:09 Europe/Oslo]
Dealing with the Norwegian state child-care system, Rana commune and a bad mom
So, I've been struggling to get more time with my kids, and went to trial in June to get something in place.The judge ordered that I visit the kids every 6th week, with supervision from the commune/state.
Both I and the kids mom wanted supervision, my main motivation for supervision has been, and is, actions that the kids mom has chosen to do, and still chooses to do.
So, long story short, the state department called BUF was supposed to setup supervision for the visits, but so far they have failed to do so. Before the trial I also seldomly got to visit the kids, and then a person from Rana commune was there to supervise.
The trial ended up in a verdict, and the verdict was legally in effect on the 1st of August, but the BUF state department was unable to provide supervision, and is also unable to provide supervision now the 12th of September.
Over a couple of weeks now I've tried to get Rana commune to provide a person that can supervise on the 12th of September, but they are unable to do so. They called me this morning and only wanted to give a verbal message that they could not provide someone. When I pressed on for a written message saying the same, they refused to provide that.
So today I sent the kids mom an email asking if we could be in a public place on Saturday for a couple of hours, but she refused to cooperate on that as well. So the state isn't doing what it should, the commune isn't doing what it could, and the kids mom isn't cooperating. I'd like to add that I emailed the kids mom on the 20th of August regarding getting Rana commune to provide supervision on the 12th of September.
I think that pretty much sums up the situtation, but would like to add that sharing confidential and/or untrue information has many and severe consequences.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [07 Sep 12:53 Europe/Oslo]
More on experiencing the Norwegian child-care system
So, I was in a meeting with my lawyer today, and got the explanation that after a verdict with a set number of time with my kids, the mom or rather the primary caretaker can deny anything else.Which means that the mom of the kids can deny me visiting the kids in the kindergarten and at school, even though that has worked OK in the past.
I think I've blogged enough about this, but would like to add that one of the reasons the trial went as it did, was that the verdict put spoken testimony above an actual document as to whether or not I was cooperating regarding opening a bank account for the smallest kid. I also had to correct my own lawyer in the courtroom regarding this..
A link to a copy of that document is here:
http://blogologue.com/epost_siste_mekling.png
And it clearly shows that I sent an email with a cooperative attitude after the last meditation, but never got any replies to that email and can't see that I've gotten any other emails after that email in that regard either.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [18 Aug 21:40 Europe/Oslo]
Experiencing the Norwegian child-care system
So, a couple of months ago I went to trial, partly because I haven't gotten to see a lot of my kids the last couple of years.Although the trial was a bit of a dissapointment for different reasons, the result seemed to be OK because I got to see my kids every 6th weekend, an improvement from the current situtation and a predictable schedule.
When I visited my kids before the trial, I also visited the kids in the kindergarten and that was an OK experience.
However, it seems that as a result of the trial, the kids mom has come in the position that she can deny me visiting the kids in the kindergarten and at school. Which is strange, because visiting them earlier went OK, and neither the kids mom or her lawyer want to comment further on it.
I have a meeting with my lawyer next week about all of this, so it should be interesting to see what he says about it.
I've heard some talk about mothers having a very strong position in Norway when it comes to who gets care etc. but I'm not sure that's the case, so far things have been very difficult so we'll see what happens next.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [13 Aug 07:46 Europe/Oslo]
Good procedures matter
So, Isak our firstborn in getting closer to 3 years old. We've noticed some tantrums here and there, but they pass eventually.It is said that if you give them the pinky they'll take the whole hand, which I'm sure is true after seeing some parental programs on the telly. And seeing how Isak can sometimes try to push the right buttons to get his way.
Anyway, I just about always put him to bed. Take him upstairs, give him a fluoride tablet, brush his teeth and put him to bed. There have been some things like Isak wanting an extra hug or kiss from mom before bed but that also passed.. I've been pretty strict about what happens before bedtime and I think that has been smart, as this procedure is a breeze these days.
It's a fine balance between nurture, structure and discipline to raise kids, but if they get a lot of affection and some leniency with discipline and structure as the default, things work out fine.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [14 Aug 19:12 Europe/Oslo]
Isak done eating
After baby monkey has gotten his rice-banana porridge, daddy monkey can have his banana.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [27 Mar 17:30 Europe/Oslo]
Isak in the baptizement dress
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [18 Mar 21:23 Europe/Oslo]
Some good moments
The last 8-12 weeks have been tough, sometimes excruciating.The funny thing about mental problems is that they're not easily visible. You can see someone is down and out, but that's about it.
Anyway, I'm getting these things sorted out somehow, seeing Isak smile and evolve is what keeps me up as well as support from Hilde.
It feels like I'm somehow (and have been for a while) trapped in my own mind, thougths, fantasies and nightmares and I get the feeling someone is pushing my buttons but haven't given easily traceable directions.
It's weird, time goes by for decades and centuries and things change, but it is still a game, a game of perception, illusion and invisible groups and dynamics.
Oh well, I think of myself as a metal box which has contained the blast.
Spin away... And keep notes.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [04 Jan 01:19 Europe/Oslo]
2 days old
So, Isak arrived a couple of days ago, at 00:38 on the 15th of October.The contractions started at around 5 o'clock on Tuesday morning, so the whole process took a while.
I've seen and read a bit about birth and maybe thought the process was a bit .. unappetizing. It is a brutal, painful and messy process. But when we were in the middle of it, my mind was a bit foggy and it all seemed like a natural process (it felt natural thanks to the staff I guess, they were very good).
The result is wonderful and beautiful.
The hospital (Ahus) we're at is very modern and well equipped, and the staff is great. Initially, a couple of the staff we've been interacting with have been .. strict/a bit sour, but as we weren't too demanding they softened up and showed some more care. I guess they have to be a bit strict at times to get a hold of the situation and then they can soften up. I would guess most are working in the health sector because they like caring for people after all. :)
So far in my life, I've found kids crying to be a bit or more annoying most of the time. But when Isak popped out and started crying, it was the best sound in the world. :')
Here's a pic for those of you who want to see:
http://blogologue.com/isak-sleeping.jpg
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [16 Oct 22:10 Europe/Oslo]
Trip to the hospital
We went to the hospital earlier today, as there were some signs that things were in motion. No major motions yet though, so we're waiting to see.[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [11 Oct 22:22 Europe/Oslo]
5 days to go
So, 5 days to go until the planned arrival today. My head feels like a bit of a mess at times and from what I've read on the net that can happen close up to the birth for both the expecting mom and dad.I've gotten a completely new perspective on life now that a baby is about to arrive, so..
Sorry for the dumb things I've done - I've learned from them - and I'll do better in the time to come.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [11 Oct 00:52 Europe/Oslo]
Priorities (turn the volume down)
I've been reflecting about my life lately, especially now that Isak is about to arrive.. I see it as a big responsibility raising a child or three, and in todays high-paced society it is important to take the time to do simple things (in Norwegian):http://mycornerintheworld.wordpress.com/2009/10/07/sa-kan-ma...
My dad worked as a cop (just retired) and my mom worked in the healthcare sector (also communal/state). I see on the news some of the things they have to deal with in that line of work, and it can be tough I think..
It would be interesting to work in politics or something similar, I think I could make a contribution there. (Abid Raja who represents my party Venstre is an inspiration: http://no.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abid_Raja)
As I build Nidelven IT I learn a lot which could be applicable in politics, and it might seem as a natural set of stepping stones to go from business to business and non-profit work to politics.
But right now though, I'm happy with where I am. I'm a bit tired, as this successful haemotomachrosis treatment has unleashed a lot of emotions, combined with the adaptation to a new situation with a baby.
I feel like the company is like my farm (or ship) (although it is shared with Stig - http://www.djkoala.org), and it is also my domain where I get to take the lead and.. dictate if necessary. ;) Since I've built up the company I feel comfortable running it too.
So, maybe 5-10 years from now I'll do something different, but for now I'd like to relax, heal, enjoy nature and invest in good health. :)
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [07 Oct 22:24 Europe/Oslo]
56 days to go
...We bought a new car today, a Wolkswagen Passat 2006, which is looking promising so far. I'd upload a pic but I'm too lazy right now. ;)
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [21 Aug 22:08 Europe/Oslo]
Emotional rollercoaster, new perspectives
Today it is 100 days left until the baby (Isak) is planned to arrive. The whole process of waiting for Isak to arrive has changed a lot of my perspectives. Not necessarily what I stand for, but I guess thinking like a parent makes you smarter in some ways.The days go by, and at times I'm giddy with joy over Isak, at other times I'm scared about the responsability. It is a project for life, after all.
Hilde and I talk about these things, so that helps. Communication is the key. There is some nagging and minor conflicts, but nothing we can't handle. Going around with a baby in the belly can be a strain too I guess (hormones..).
Will Isak become a programmer? A businessman? A musician? A doctor? These are things I think about. I think it would be wise to let him become whatever he wants to be, and not push him too much in any direction. Just listen to what interests him and encourage him.
From hearing from other people, the first period (2 months or so) after the baby is born can be especially tough. Feeding, pooping, diaper changes, crying, getting up in the middle of the night - things like that. But we've made the choice now and have to follow through. It will be interesting, that's for sure.
I'm ready to kick ass, for the new boss.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [08 Jul 16:30 Europe/Oslo]
Heartbeat
http://blogologue.com/isak.wav:)
(Later.. updated with the right file. Turns out I uploaded some meta-file)
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [05 Jul 15:07 Europe/Oslo]
Gingerbread time!
Hilde had some spare time so she decided to have some fun. :)
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [28 Nov 14:13 Europe/Oslo]
Family time, trip to Tusenfryd
Since last Friday, we (Hilde & I) have been having family visting, her parents, my mom and the extended family.Lots of good food & drink, trips here & there.
Yesterday we went to Tusenfryd:
http://tusenfryd.no/english/location.aspx
an amusement park here just outside of Oslo. Some pictures, me and my mom and Hilde and me:
On the last picture there you can see me clinging to the handlebar, as that could help in case something broke and we could fall out. ;)
Hilde's family is good at arranging things together, and we have some good times; in the short time we've been together (some 8 months and counting) it feels like I've gotten an big extended family and a lot of new friends. And as you can see on the picture above, mom is enjoying herself as well.
We even went to the Bruce Springsteen concert on Monday, but I was too busy drinking beer and talking trash to take some pictures.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [09 Jul 19:26 Europe/Oslo]