Morphex's blogologue (Life, technology, music, politics, business, mental health and more)

This is the blog of Morten W. Petersen, aka. morphex in various places. I blog about my life, and what I find interesting and/or important. This is a personal blog without any editor or a lot of oversight so treat it as such. :)

My email is morphex@gmail.com.

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An open letter to the Norwegian directorate of health / Norwegian department of health

Subject: Some questions, mental health, children
To: Directorate of health, Department of health
Copy: County police, Lawyer
BCC: Various

Hi.

I'm wondering who it is, that checks that a patient who is psychotic, is making good deals (arrangements).

It is the case that I became psychotic in 2009, and after 5 years of obstruction, it is still difficult to see my kids, after I broke up with the kids mom in 2013.

The kids mom pulls out (medically) confidential information, things I have said while psychotic, as if that should be relevant today, when I'm in much better shape now, than 8 years ago.

She does this, because I signed papers that enabled the child protection services could retrieve information from the healthcare system in 2009/2010, and the child services have forwarded parts of this to the kids mom [by snail mail], both information that is wrong, and information that has been taken out of its context.

The second thing I'm wondering about, is related to research. I said yes to joining a project when I was (actively?) psychotic, and who is it that checks that this is a good idea, on my behalf?

I can't remember talking to a lawyer regarding child protection services, or this research project.

Finally, I'm wondering, on a scale from 1 to 10, how interesting is a person as a research object, if this person has been psychotic (and given medicine that removes the symptoms [of psychosis]), and breaks his or her neck and becomes paralyzed from the neck down? The brain is an overgrown nerve, after all...

Regards,

Morten W. Petersen


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [18 Sep 18:53 Europe/Oslo]

When a woman shows you attention...

..you should ask yourself.

Is she:

a) bored
b) helping somebody achieve something
c) feeling an itch
d) looking for a sperm bank
e) looking for a source of revenue
f) any combination of the above

Hate to sound like a party pooper, but reality is what it is.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [17 Sep 14:55 Europe/Oslo]

A surveillance app (Python tree here I come!)

So, lately I've been taking it very easy on the activities front, since I've had a court-related matter to get to see the kids.

So I've had some ideas, urges etc. to do technical stuff, artsy stuff etc. - and today I wrote myself a script that will run on a PC, or a demo board like Raspberry Pi, Orange Pi etc. - and take pictures on a webcam, and merge these pictures taken over time into a video, and mail them.

I started with Python (2), but figured that now is the time to take the plunge to Python 3 and don't look back.

I have to say, Python 3 isn't difficult, there are some changes in conventions etc. but nothing big.

So I was able to be productive in Python 3 straight away, and wrote this script:

https://github.com/morphex/surveil

Which will do what I mentioned above. And here's the source code tree as it was when I wrote this post:

https://github.com/morphex/surveil/tree/1cb5ceed7657e2635cca...

This video was generated from this script:

http://blogologue.com/surveil_out.webm

And impressively enough, each image the video was generated from, was 55-78 KB, while the entire video with 18 images was ~120 KB. I guess VP9 is effective at compressing, at the same time, a lot of the objects in the video are static.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Python (Atom feed)] [17 Sep 00:08 Europe/Oslo]

A small victory regarding my kids

So, this week there was a settlement in court, which will enable me to see the kids again, on a regular basis, with the added security of someone from an official department supervising the meets.

However, in the court papers the judge writes that I'm still (mentally) ill, and I think a lot of people that have seen me the last years, will say that I have gotten physically and mentally more fit.

So I'm not sure what to make of that. There are things I'm not taking a stand on in all these court papers / don't agree with, just to get to see the kids.

Anyway, I've been to court once before, and there the court-appointed mental health professionals, INSTITUTT FOR KLINISK FOREBYGGENDE TILTAK - IKFT AS - headed by Sylva Krogh, laid out in broad strokes that the kids mom was great and that I was not. They also had some people evaluating an interaction between me and the oldest son, but they didn't keep that recording.

So, I pressed charges against IKFT AS represented by Sylva Krogh for false testimony, and haven't heard anything from the police regarding this.

This time around there was also one court-appointed mental health professional, Roger Lindqvist, which I talked a bit to, explaining the situation. I have seen notes of the talks he had with me, the kids mom and the kids, but not a conclusion/evaluation/report of what he thinks about it.

Today I fired off an email to Rana Tingrett, with the administrative body for the Norwegian courts on copy, asking if the court-appointed professional for this round in court, was 100% in agreement with what the mental health professionals in the previous round, found in their report.

It will be interesting to see what the response to this is.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [14 Sep 14:38 Europe/Oslo]

It's now been 5 weeks without a response from the health system (Tiller DPS, NAV)

I requested my journal 5 weeks ago, more about that here:

http://blogologue.com/frames?url=http://blogologue.com/blog_...

And I still haven't gotten a copy of my journal. I sent them an email yesterday, Thursday, and they did not respond to that either as of today, 16:03 Friday.

I don't get what should be so difficult about sending a prior patient his medical journal, there is also an important court meeting on the 10th of September regarding my kids, and I'd say that this long processing time, along with NAV (the government welfare system) breathing down my neck and bringing up old documents that I also question, has impacted my ability to complete this court process in a negative way.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [31 Aug 16:06 Europe/Oslo]

Ethics in medical research

So, I heard on the radio today that the ability to treat schizophrenia was much better than previously thought.

I think that's nice, the ability to treat serious, debilitating illnesses.

At the same time, I recently started to read books about psychology, to educate and better understand myself. The book I wanted wasn't available in the library, so I started with another one, which started off with psychology and research, which was a bit too advanced, heavy.

Anyway, I set myself a goal of getting through the first section of that book, and now I have a what seems like lower-level book which I can read comfortably.

Anyway, this first book was about research within psychology, and one of the things I read was that it was often students in psychology that were eager research subjects. Another couple of things were double-blind studies (the research subject is unaware of research test) and a note about getting too eager in the service of research and being sent to jail.

It is nice and necessary that advances in sciences are made, but I recently heard of a person 30 years young that took her own life, and she was in some sort of treatment or had some institution available. And the examples of over-medication, suicide etc. in psychiatry are many.

If you have a serious mental illness, that hampers your ability to see what's right and wrong, who is it that makes sure a person's rights are protected? If you are well functioning enough to get to an advanced degree in psychology, where is your empathy and understanding of serious mental illness?

It's also nice that there are researchers and medical personnel, but where do all these problems (researcher's opportunities) come from?


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [25 Aug 11:26 Europe/Oslo]

Questioning the Norwegian mental health care system, and justice system

So, next month I'm going to court again, to get to see the kids. In these last 5 years, I've seen the kids less than 2 hours each month, and I've been to every date with the kids, every appointment with the family counselling office etc.

In addition to that, I've accrued 100.000 NOK in debt (> 10.000 EUR/USD), after going to court in 2015, also to get to see the kids, and I'm paying 1000 NOK a month in interest on that now.

All this happened while I was taking medication that affects the brain (up to 800 mg of Seroquel a day), and going to therapy sessions, and I've repeatedly discussed problems with the kids mom with mental health professionals, and it has also been documented in writing that I took up these problems with mental health professionals.

I'd say that my experience with the court system so far, has been poor, and I question a lot of things about it. When it also takes more than 3 weeks to produce a copy of a medical journal, and who has accessed it or received copies of it or summaries of it, I really begin to wonder.

When I question the justice system and a process I've been through, and I've been in medical treatment - it is a bit of a concern that it takes a lot of time to produce a journal and a journal log, I'd think that it basically pressing some buttons in a computer program.

A link to the email dialogue with Tiller DPS is here (in Norwegian): http://blogologue.com/tiller_dps.pdf


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [18 Aug 12:06 Europe/Oslo]

Here's to you, sis

So, I'm going to court again, to get to see my kids, with supervision, as the kids mom has only let me meet the kids twice since November 2017.

Since the summer 2013, I have seen the kids less than 2 hours each month on average, which is too little, given that I have been to family counseling, court, every meet with the kids etc.

Anyway, my sister repeatedly meddled my problems with the kids mom after the break-up, even when I told her not to, and after that I cut her off, removed her as a friend on Facebook etc.

Breaking up with a person is difficult enough in itself, then you have the added emotional burden of not seeing the kids, as well as other things that I'm not going to repeat here. So the sum of many things, and that my sister didn't respect me, led me to the decision of cutting her off.

4 weeks ago, I asked my sister on email if she would answer some question in writing, related to the new court visit. Now, it is punishable by law to lie in these answers, I knew this, and I guess she knows this now as well.

So she has been writing back some, in my opinion, bullshit, and she did not reply to my latest email sent on the 14th of July (over 3 weeks ago), here translated to English:

"""
I think that you can either answer some questions in writing [to the court], or you cannot.

I will have an understanding of the situation after you've answered. It could be that you entirely of your own initiative meddled to help me, or you could have been influenced to more or less pressure me.

It could be that you thought things would become difficult for you, your man and your kids, if I rejected [the kids mom].

So it is either "Yes, I can answer some questions in writing", or "No, I cannot answer some questions in writing.
"""

To me it is pretty clear that my sister has contributed to my problems earlier in life, and I'm glad that she is now out of my life, even though she does have some influence in my life, via my mom. Her "soft voice" gave me the chills last time.

Here's a PDF of that email, in Norwegian: http://blogologue.com/lmp_email.pdf

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [05 Aug 17:06 Europe/Oslo]

A bit of video fun, ffmpeg fractional timestamp and slow-down

So, I've been recording some workouts, and posting them on Instagram; lately I've also experimented with video-altering apps on Android.

But, Linux has its own Swiss-army knife for altering videos, called ffmpeg.

I've also been recording myself massaging a punching bag, and was pleased when I saw myself tapping and then stomping the bag, in rapid succession, with great power.

So, I thought I'd see how fast I was actually going, and after some digging around, I found that I could add a fractional timestamp to a video, and slow it down, using these commands:

ffmpeg -i VID_20180803_153745~2.mp4 -vf "drawtext=text='Time\ \ \ \ \ \ ':x=120:y=h-lh-30:fontsize=20:fontcolor=white:shadowcolor=black:shadowx=1:shadowy=1:timecode='00\:00\:00\:00':timecode_rate=25/2" out.mp4

which adds the timestamp, and

ffmpeg -i out.mp4 -filter:v "setpts=8.0*PTS" out2.mp4

which slows down the video 8-fold. Here's the video:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BmEPPJWgQ6b

And here's another, edited using an Android app, to go forwards and backwards, creating something that can be watched over and over again, smoothly:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BmCD4DAFXfZ/

[Added a day later:] I guess I should mention that the commando used to find the timecode_rate was:

ffprobe -v 0 -of csv=p=0 -select_streams 0 -show_entries stream=r_frame_rate VID_20180803_153745~2.mp4

and the output was: 25/2

[Permalink] [By morphex] [ffmpeg (Atom feed)] [04 Aug 20:19 Europe/Oslo]

Graceful degredation of redirect using meta http-equiv and Javascript in XHTML, for caching

So, I saw that SSL was becoming more or less mandatory these days, so I got SSL setup for the domain blogologue.com.

However, since I also wanted to keep serving the site over HTTP as well as HTTPS (for graceful degradation and a fallback), and I have a cache sitting between the SSL-server and the weblog system, which pretty much caches everything, all the time, for a long time, I had to do a bit of extra work.

The cache in this setup isn't able to tell the difference between requests coming via HTTP or HTTPS, so an extra '&protocol=http[s]' is added at the end of URLs.

So with this code

  <meta http-equiv="refresh" id="meta_refresh" content="1;
        http://blogologue.com/?protocol=http" />
  <script type="text/javascript">
    refresh = document.getElementById('meta_refresh');
    refresh.parentNode.removeChild(refresh);
  </script>

it is possible to have the page redirect with the protocol key without Javascript, while this piece of Javascript

    <script type="text/javascript">
    // <![CDATA[
    function myOnLoad() {
      if (window.parent.document.location.toString().indexOf('http://blogologue.com/frames') != 0) {
        if (window.parent.document.location.toString().indexOf('https:') != 0) {
          window.parent.document.location='http://blogologue.com/frames?url=http://blogologue.com/&protocol=http';
        }
      }
      if (window.parent.document.location.toString().indexOf('https://blogologue.com/frames') != 0) {
        if (window.parent.document.location.toString().indexOf('http:') != 0) {
          window.parent.document.location='https://blogologue.com/frames?url=https://blogologue.com/&protocol=https';
        }
      }
    }
    document.getElementById('iFrameLoadTest').myOnLoad = myOnLoad;
    document.getElementById('iFrameLoadTest').myOnLoad();
    // ]]>
    </script>

does redirect to setup frames *and* add the protocol key. I setup this site so that it would be possible to access the site without a browser that supports [i]frames, and I guess it is reasonable to expect that a browser that doesn't support Javascript, also doesn't support frames.

Although for example the NoScript extension for Firefox does enable blocking Javascript per-site etc. for security.

So the cache is able to cache http and https pages differently, which again is tidy and neat, as URLs generated on the blog are often absolute starting with http: or https: - and not relative, for example /morphex.

If you're wondering how the meta tag is generated, that's by a script on the server side, which decides to redirect with an &protocol= suffix on URLs, based on an environment variable HTTP_X_FORWARDED_PROTO, which the cache sitting in the middle, is unable to take into account.

It did add "Vary: HTTP_X_FORWARDED_PROTO" to the pages generated in the weblog, but that did not affect the cache.

Now, I was wondering how long a timeout the http-equiv refresh should have, and found 0 was too short, and 2 was too long. If the timeout is 0, it is reasonable to expect that the browser will execute the refresh immediately. It is also reasonable to expect that within 1 second, the following <script> tag is read and executed, and when that Javascript is run, it deletes the meta tag, and from what I can tell, deleting the meta tag, also stops any actions contained within that tag.

You might think that adding <meta> tag within a <noscript> tag in the header would be much easier, and it would be, however, that is not valid XHTML according to the W3C validator, so this "hack" is what will work and be accepted as valid XHTML.



[Permalink] [By morphex] [Web (Atom feed)] [23 Jun 15:18 Europe/Oslo]

I will be attending the Norwegian constitution day 17. Mai (17 of May), but not celebrating it

So, tomorrow is Norway's constitution day, celebrating the signing of the Norwegian constitution in 1814.

I will be attending some social events tomorrow, to enjoy some company and different good food. But I won't be celebrating or congratulating others on the occasion, because of my experiences in the Norwegian society.

I have two kids, 6 and 8 years old, and I haven't met them in person since the start of November 2017, and it is now the middle of May, 2018.

I broke up with the kids mom in 2013, and since then I haven't seen the kids much. Even though I've been to every meeting, every planned time with the kids etc. since then.

I was thinking of taking a picture of the children marching tomorrow celebrating the day, but after some thought I created this collage of the Trondheim hospital St. Olav and the Norwegian flag (taken from https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d9/Flag_of_...) so I have the "day off" tomorrow, and also don't take a picture of different people who haven't asked to be associated with this blog post.

Picture of St. Olav with Norwegian flag superimposed

So yeah, I found taking a picture of the hospital fitting for different reasons, one of them being that I broke up with the kids mom while I was diagnosed with one or two serious psychiatric disorders, and today about 10% of my net income goes to paying off previous court costs and current lawyer costs, to get to see the kids.

To be correct, I have to say that the kids mom has offered a deal for me seeing the kids now, but I have negative trust towards the kids mom after what has happened earlier, so I think her presence during my meetings with the kids would be negative in more than one way. And as they say, "fool me once - shame on you, fool me twice - shame on me". I have suggested meeting in public spaces in Mo i Rana, but that was not acceptable for the kids mom.

So it looks like it will be another round in court, so that I can get supervision from the state when seeing my kids, which will limit the amount of time I get with the kids, but since the kids mom refuses to let me be alone with the kids, and I don't trust the kids mom, it's the best solution I see.

The kids mom has also earlier said that the situation was stressful with me and me seeing the kids, so when she doesn't have to do anything beyond dropping off the kids and picking them up, that should be a practical solution for her as well.

But yeah, the picture above. I moved recently. and the hospital is now within walking distance. I have given the healthcare system in Norway quite a bit of criticism, but when I see little of my kids for years and years, and 10% of my income goes to legal costs, and this situation started when I had serious psychiatric diagnoses, was taking a significant amount of mind-altering medicine and was going to therapy and was talking about serious problems with the kids mom, they are getting what they deserve.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [16 May 12:38 Europe/Oslo]

Experiencing the surrealism of the Norwegian "wellfare" system

So, last month I was in a meeting with NAV, the wellfare office, employment office, pension office etc. in Norway, aptly named NAV (wheel hub in English).

They want to get me into a work preparation program, or as I suspect, a suitability for work program, while I am more on the exercise a lot and do different interesting computer things, that I'm motivated for doing and that will help me get a job later.

Since last summer, I've exercised a lot, and I can feel a positive development and see a positive development on my body since then. I've also dabbled in different computer things, for example the Java Twitter export tool that I blogged about on my blog, and the source code is available on Twitter.

I've worked hard most of my life, and I have to say I'm disappointed in seeing how the Norwegian system works. After I got psychotic at the end of 2009, I drained the company (my own company) for money, when I probably should have been 100% on sick leave and gotten money from the state.

So today, although I feel motivated to work in my company and could probably work 8-16 hours a week, I am unable to, because I've earlier exhausted the funds in the company, Nidelven IT.

In addition to this, the work-sickleave-unemployment route I've taken, or have been guided through by NAV and the healthcare system, gives me very little money, now that I'm on "work assessment allowance", and I'm also paying around 10000 a year in interest on the court costs that the kids mom accrued, after she over a long period did a lot of things and practically provoked a round in court.

Now it looks like I'll have to take another round in court, and with the payments on the new court case and the previous one, I'm paying around 10% of my net income in these court costs, and I have low income.

This comes in addition to the over 30.000 kroner I've had in expenses seeing the kids, after I rejected the kids mom in the summer 2013, which the kids mom refuses to share according to the law defined norm, as she claims we had an agreement on travel costs, but not on how often I should see the kids, or rather how often the kids should get to see me.

So yeah, NAV want to put me through the stress of a work assessment program, when I have a positive development with things I've chosen to do myself, that do help my health and my work prospects.

A while ago, a dentist documented and treated me for an infection in the gums, something that is probably because of the medication I've been taking, and this is something that NAV has paid for, the dental treatment. And the Norwegian patient injury reparation organization has said that it remains to see if it is a permanent problem.

It still remains to be seen if this treatment will be necessary in the future though, or if I have a permanent problem.

But, here is the conundrum. I've been advised that the medication I've taken, Seroquel, can lead to diabetes and heart problems in the long term. So, if NAV pressures me into this work assessment program, and I later get diabetes, who is responsible, and what do I get for it?

If I've been advised that I can get a condition from a medication, I can't sue to get reparations. I can take diabetes pills, but still the diabetes would affect my life quality and life expectancy.

I guess any wise person would say that there is nothing more important than having good health, and that no amount of money can replace good health.

So I guess it might be that I, and many others, are destined to be medical trial subjects, in a semi-nazi government system, that sells a lot of present for an unknown future.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [29 Apr 19:47 Europe/Oslo]

Now making (an almost) complete Twitter archive using Java, validating as UTF-16LE XHTML

So.

I was figuring out the latest bits to my Twitter archival tool today, and once I made a complete dump of all Tweets, I saw that I had forgotten to HTML-encode URLs, so & was breaking the validation.

Boy, was my face red for a split second. Anyway, the nice org.apache.commons folks have created a tool to encode URLs for HTML, so that was an easy fix.

However, the W3C validator

https://validator.w3.org/

Was still giving weird errors, and after some fiddling around and googling, I found the W3C I18N checker, which explained that XHTML couldn't be prefixed with an <?xml declaration. It's been a while since I worked properly with web documents I guess, so I'd forgotten about that.

So OK, I removed the declaration, and thought I'd add a meta http-equiv or charset tag to the document, to be declarative about the content of the document.

However, the I18n validator first complained about that, saying I couldn't use UTF-16LE as an encoding, and that I had to say UTF-16, but when that was fixed, the validator complained and said that I shouldn't specify the encoding in the document.

And that makes sense, because the document starts with a BOM, which indicates the charset and the endianness of the charset.

Anyway, I get a whiff of cultural imperialism when I see that W3C says UTF-8 is the recommended encoding, and the main validator is so unhelpful when giving feedback on what is wrong with the document. :\

So, here's the commit of today's work:

https://github.com/morphex/twitter-exporter/commit/f32b12f42...

A productive day, and

http://blogologue.com/test3.html.bin

Shows an almost complete archive of my Tweets. A grep shows that my archive is 3128 tweets:

iconv test3.html -f utf-16|grep "class='tweet"|wc -l
iconv: incomplete character or shift sequence at end of buffer
3128

while Twitter says I have well over 4000 tweets:

    Tweets 4,943
    Following 98
    Followers 189

So I guess Twitter has some segmentation of its archive, for unknown reasons.

I did get some feedback on my blogging about Java and type-casting, and using Java generics it is possible to avoid this tedious type-casting I was talking about earlier. I had seen the syntax for Java generics before and found it to a bit of an eyesore, but seeing how it saves quite a bit of tedious typing and that the syntax is straightforward, I guess I can't complain.

It's not Perl after all..

[Permalink] [By morphex] [A Java-based tool to export tweets from Twitter for safe keeping (Atom feed)] [23 Apr 16:52 Europe/Oslo]

A light chickpea snack / meal (cheap and nutritious)

So, these last couple of years I've started making meals from scratch, to improve the health, but also to save significant amounts of money.

I'm now on a flexitarian diet, and I don't eat much red meat anymore, and rarely white meat such as chicken. I eat quite a bit of fish, tuna and salmon. I also consume eggs and dairy products.

I go to the local immigrant stores and buy packs of veggie products, such as chickpeas. 1 KG costs 35 kroner, 4.5 dollars, 3.75 euros, and divided up, gives significant protein to 10-15 veggie meals.

Today I took one of those chickpea packs (ca 200 grams), and fried it in a pan, alongside some chopped garlic (6 gloves) and a handful of olives:

Picture of chickpeas, olives and chopped garlic fried in a pan, with a spoon

I used Canola oil to fry it in, and added some salt and black peppers to spice things up.

I've been very restrictive on the spices in my food, but this week I shelled out some cash on a 20-gram pack of black pepper, and will start to use pepper a bit more in the cooking. Spices add flavour, but also mask other flavours, so I guess experimenting with different ingredients is easier with less flavour complexity.

Anyway, I'm not sure whether to call this a snack or a meal, but a light meal should be a fitting categorization. And very nutritious and healthy.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Food (Atom feed)] [22 Apr 15:05 Europe/Oslo]

Can I Java cup of coffee? Isn't that valid?

Yesterday I made some progress on the twitter-exporter tool, working and thinking quite a bit in one day.

I'm surprised I am as productive as I am in Java, since I haven't used it in work-related projects. Yesterday it felt like I had a couple of cups of coffee too many, maybe it's the spring, but I was cranking out code and dealing with Exceptions like I'd been eating a lot of cake and drinking a lot of coffee.

I'm particularly pleased with this piece of code:

class TwitterStatusFetcher {
        Twitter twitter;
        ArrayList statuses = new ArrayList();
        Integer page = 1;
        Integer count = 20;

        TwitterStatusFetcher(Twitter twitter_) {
                twitter = twitter_;
        }

        Status getNextStatus() throws TwitterException {
                if (statuses.isEmpty()) {
                        // See if more tweets can be found
                        ResponseList results = twitter.getUserTimeline(
                                new Paging(page, count));
                        page++;
                        statuses.addAll(results);
                }
                if (statuses.isEmpty()) {
                        return null;
                }
                Status status = (Status) statuses.get(0);
                statuses.remove(0);
                return status;
        }
}

Which works with the twitter4j code and Twitter API to deliver one status at a time to the rest of my app code. Maybe it's not that big of a deal, but I found it elegant, and it does use the object-oriented paradigm that Java is big on.

It seems the most frequent mistake I make coming from Python, is forgetting the semicolon; I like to indent code regardless of language, so it's the semicolon that I forget.

I guess one thing I've found annoying about Java so far, is the type casting that is necessary at different places. I was working on some code which I guess was eventually removed, where I knew the method to call, but because of some abstraction in a method call, the returned objects were java.lang.Object, and calling a method, a String method I think, on that object failed in compilation.

I was also almost smacking my head yesterday, when I discovered that twitter4j returns shortened (and expanded) URLs in their Tweets as well, and thought I'd developed quite a bit of code for no good reason.

However, as it turns out, some tweets do contain shortened URLs that aren't mentioned in the Tweet metadata, so the class I wrote to resolve t.co URLs still has some use. Phew.

Finally, I found Firefox now displayed the test.html output page as XML, instead of XHTML. So I made the code output a Unicode BOM, and Firefox says it is in standards compliance mode, and Chrome does not complain. However, the validator on w3c.org, https://validator.w3.org/ - still does not validate the page when it has a UTF-16LE BOM.

I'm not sure what's going on there, but to me it looks like the w3c validator isn't working.

A test.html page I just created is available at http://blogologue.com/test2.html.bin - just rename it to test2.html after download and open it in Firefox to see the rendered archive of my tweets.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [A Java-based tool to export tweets from Twitter for safe keeping (Atom feed)] [14 Apr 10:35 Europe/Oslo]

Doodeling along with Java development, "unit development" and more

Yeah, I've been developing a Java app to export all my tweets for safe-keeping.

I'm new to Java, so I asked a bit about limiting the amount of pieces of development software, so it was less complicated to see what the problem was when the code failed.

I asked on comp.lang.java.programmer, with the message ID <d25b03ed-607f-45d0-8b45-25f3835d44bb@googlegroups.com>. I did get some useful feedback, but I guess my idea of a simple bootstrapping development environment has something to it. Why not make something less complex if you can?

I worked on the code for resolving Twitter URLs today, and this is the ResolveRedirect.java file as of now:

https://github.com/morphex/twitter-exporter/blob/e6b9c55470f...

I have to say, that coming from the Python world, a lot is the same, although I have to say Python is less bureaucratic and easier on the eyes. Maybe in Java's advantage, things are well packaged and one is pretty much forced to think in an object-oriented way.

I can't say that developing in Java is worse than Python, I think they are even in many ways.

The code I've been develolping is fairly simple, the data it works on is also uncomplicated, with standard encodings, data formats and protocols.. so I'm not learning anything new there, and keeping things very simple on whatever I need to store as well, plain-text file format. If I was learning some new protocols and software libraries it could be a bit more difficult.

It's nice though, to see that I'm able to be very productive in a language I haven't used in a work-related context, feels like I'm firing on all cylinders again.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [A Java-based tool to export tweets from Twitter for safe keeping (Atom feed)] [09 Apr 13:33 Europe/Oslo]

Automating builds using Maven, writing XHTML & refactoring in Java

In my efforts to write a tool for exporting Tweets from Twitter for safe-keeping in Java, I came a bit closer to the goal to create such an archive today, when I managed to automate the build of the app a bit, and make the app create something that resembles the desired end-result.

Earlier I had to download jar files from projects that my project depended on, but with the following commit:

https://github.com/morphex/twitter-exporter/commit/ed8303638...

One jar is built, and it is run using the command

java -cp ./twitter-exporter-1.0-SNAPSHOT-jar-with-dependencies.jar org.morphex.app.App

I would like run the app in an even simpler way, but it is a big improvement from downloading jar files manually and including them on the "java -cp" command.

I was initially thinking I'd keep things as simple as possible and avoid unnecessary dependencies and systems, but seeing that there are collections of Java classes with useful features, features you'd expect to be in the Java core, it is great to be able to include these using some lines in the pom.xml Maven file.

Secondly I refactored the code a bit, so that the main App class was able to write an XHTML file containing a number of tweets:

https://github.com/morphex/twitter-exporter/commit/093545931...

You can download the generated output here:

http://blogologue.com/test.html.bin

I had to call the file test.html.bin to fool the application server into treating it as a binary file, as UTF16-LE is the encoding of the file and I guess the application server uses UTF-8. Renaming it to test.html and opening it in Firefox should work.

StringEscapeUtils.escapeXml10 is a nice tool, and something you'd assume would be so necessary and standard that it would be included with Java by default. Seeing this is the way it is, I guess there is really no way around using a tool like Maven to build projects.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [A Java-based tool to export tweets from Twitter for safe keeping (Atom feed)] [05 Apr 19:36 Europe/Oslo]

Sex in the 21st century, follow-up

So, I emailed my lawyer a while ago, asking about fatherhood, rights and obligations. Here: http://blogologue.com/blog_entry?id=1520278746X36

He did not reply to that message, but I asked someone else who has some legal expertise, and I understood the message as, if you make someone pregnant, you cannot legally deny fatherhood or child support.

So, basically, if you're at a party, have a good time, and end up with someone, and have sex that one time, you can end up paying child support for 18+ years.

If in addition to this, the woman is difficult, you not only have to pay a substantial amount of money, but you also have a difficult person to deal with.

Now, it is the case that women do rape; so worst case is that a woman rapes you, makes your life a living hell, and you have to pay a lot of money for kids you don't get to see (often).

I can understand that the state wants its inhabitants, and having kids is an important part of life.. but it seems to me that men are shafted in many different ways when it comes to family life.

94.5% of the inmates in Norwegian prisons in 2015 were male.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [04 Apr 16:41 Europe/Oslo]

Testing out Java's Unicode support, UTF-16LE the choice for now

So, in my efforts to create a tool to export my Tweets from Twitter for safe-keeping, and learning a bit of Java in the process, I today created a Java snippet of code to write an XHTML file, to get acquainted with Java and its Unicode support.

I've worked with Unicode in Python and in C, and a while ago I started some discussions on comp.lang.c, as I was testing out C to write an XML parser. That project ran out of steam, but I still think today that UTF-32 is the least discriminatory (and uncomplicated) approach to sharing information like web pages.

Anyway, here's the Java code for writing a test XHTML page, fully validating on the W3C validator:

https://github.com/morphex/twitter-exporter/blob/71a4cdf1a6f...

Well, it was validating on the W3C validator, but once I added code to write a BOM, it no longer validated. 🤔 But shows up fine in Firefox, and "file test.html" says:

test.html: XHTML document text (version 1.0), Little-endian UTF-16 Unicode text, with no line terminators

So I'm not sure what's going on there.

As I was testing out Java, I was hoping and optimistic for having a Unicode solution that just worked, and even more so when OutputStreamWriter accepted an encoding argument.

But as you can see on the history of WriteXHTML.java, I had to revert to using just FileOutputStream, and encoding strings and writing them as bytes to the test.html file.

So much for that dream. Well, this is all alright, I find Java a bit verbose, but it also reminds me a bit about C and that's nice.

A thing that surprised me though, was that Firefox did not support UTF-32LE encoded XHTML. Why not?

[Permalink] [By morphex] [A Java-based tool to export tweets from Twitter for safe keeping (Atom feed)] [04 Apr 00:06 Europe/Oslo]

Resolving URLs from a URL shortening service in Java

So, in my efforts to create a tool to keep a (complete) archive of my Twitter activity, I today wrote a tool to help replace t.co URLs in my tweets, with the actual URL, here:

https://github.com/morphex/twitter-exporter/commit/3341f7780...

Now I come from the Python world, and lately I've been looking at Java to learn it properly. To improve my chances of having gigs that are interesting, regardless of programming language.

I started looking at URL objects and generating a connection from that, but since I'm going to resolve a lot of t.co addresses, found that it would be better if I kept an HTTPS connection open to the t.co server, and then pass the final part of the URL over to t.co. Another issue here is maybe a "resting period" between each resolved URL, so as to not appear "spammy" or "resource hogging" on the t.co server.

Anyway, luckily I found an example online that I could adapt for my purposes, and I'd have to say, compared to Python, Java is a bit bureacratic with its classes and types, but other than that, Java is just fine.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [A Java-based tool to export tweets from Twitter for safe keeping (Atom feed)] [01 Apr 12:05 Europe/Oslo]

A Java-based tool to export tweets from Twitter for safe keeping

So, I was looking into exporting all my tweets the other day, to keep a copy just in case something happened to my Twitter account.

I tried exporting from Twitter (using a desktop browser as they asked on the export page), but I have so far not seen a dump of all my tweets.

I see there are other tools available for exporting Tweets, websites, but I thought to myself, why not create a simple, safe tool for exporting and safe-keeping Tweets.

So, after a bit of rummaging I found twitter4j, and started to build a Twitter export client using a text editor, a Makefile and javac/java.

However, I quickly ran into a NoClassDefFoundError, and after googling a bit, I felt an obscure-configuration-detail-headache coming on, and decided I could try to use Maven, which is mentioned on the Twitter4j website for the build process.

The Maven quickstart guide instructed me to use this command to generate a Maven project:

mvn archetype:generate -DgroupId=org.morphex.app -DartifactId=twitter-exporter -DarchetypeArtifactId=maven-archetype-quickstart -DinteractiveMode=false

And after downloading some components etc. - Maven had a file hierarchy for me.

I then added the following section to pom.xml

    <dependency>
      <groupId>org.twitter4j</groupId>
      <artifactId>twitter4j-core</artifactId>
      <version>4.0.4</version>
    </dependency>

To include the twitter4j components in the Maven project. I then preceeded to run "mvn package" and then entered the target directory, and with the command

java -cp ./twitter-exporter-1.0-SNAPSHOT.jar org.morphex.app.App

I got the result

Hello World!

Which is what one can expect, as the project was just generated. Afterwards I created a new repository on GitHub, and uploaded the project (output of "history|grep git" in bash):

 2172  git init
 2173  git add pom.xml src
 2175  git config --global user.email "morphex@gmail.com"
 2176  git config --global user.name "Morten W. Petersen"
 2177  git commit
 2182  git remote add origin https://github.com/morphex/twitter-exporter.git
 2183  git push -u origin master
 2184  history|grep git

I started with this before I decided to blog about it, so I guess to setup the enviroment you have to run "sudo apt install maven openjdk-8-jdk openjdk-8-jre git" on Ubuntu/Debian.

The source code website for the project is here: https://github.com/morphex/twitter-exporter

[Update same day: I had to download the twitter4j jar and add it to the java command above: "java -cp ./twitter-exporter-1.0-SNAPSHOT.jar:./twitter4j-core-4.0.4.jar org.morphex.app.App"]

[Update later same day: twitter4j-core-4.0.4.jar can be downloaded from http://twitter4j.org/maven2/org/twitter4j/twitter4j-core/4.0...]

[And update even later same day: twitter4j-core-4.0.6.jar can be downloaded from https://repo1.maven.org/maven2/org/twitter4j/twitter4j-core/... - it's necessary for the latest code to run]

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Java (Atom feed)] [30 Mar 15:19 Europe/Oslo]

I'm not an actor, I'm not a star..

Picture of bike, with text I'm not an actor, I'm not a star, but I've got this bike and it gets me around like a motherfucker

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [28 Mar 12:06 Europe/Oslo]

Charges pressed against NAV and NAVI

So, I've had issues over time with NAV and NAVI, NAV being the Norwegian employment and wellfare office, NAVI being the child support collectors (some branch related to NAV I guess).

Over time there has been some critique and questions, and things turned a bit weird not so long ago, when my primary care physician basically said he wanted me to find another primary care physician.

So I filed a report against NAV and NAVI today, here's the original, and here's the translation:

To: Police Trøndelag (county police) <post.trondelag@politiet.no>
Cc: Police internal affairs <per-martin.utkilen@spesialenheten.no>, Sveinung Hestad Strand <strand@advokatsf.no>, Elisabeth Nossum <elisabeth.nossum@nav.no>, Per Olav Gundersen <per.olav.gundersen@nav.no>, NAVI <navi@navi.no>
Bcc: Dad <jpeter@broadpark.no>

Hi.

In 2009 I became acutely [mentally] ill, psychotic, and was until then on an up-and-coming arch salary-wise, in my own company.

Today I have a low income, and I am in many ways financially painted into a corner, and also have problems with my kids mom, and have met the kids 2-3 hours a month on average since 2013.

I have asked questions to NAV about their methods, and a short while ago I asked to have all papers to my case printed out. I moved apartments in that period, and got a message to get the papers on NAV Lerkendal. When I got there, I got a message to pick them up at NAV Heimdal.

When I collected the papers at NAV Heimdal, they were in an unsealed envelope, with a thin rubber band wrapped around.

NAV has also recently rejected a meeting at the conflict council [the first step to arbitrating a conflict in the Norwegian legal system], after one arbitrating session there.

I was in a meeting on Wednesday at NAV Lerkendal with Elisabeth Nossum and Per Olav Gundersen, where NAV and I did not agree on the path [for me getting back to work life]. When I after the meeting applied for financial welfare support for a lawyer, so I can understand my rights and obligations regarding NAV and AAP, it was suggested I instead contact the free legal help [organisation that provides free legal assistance]. But I applied for welfare support for a lawyer anyway, 1020 kroner.

If the free legal help is OK for all legal questions and cases, I guess we don't need lawyers and the licenses to practice as lawyers?

Shortly before this [couple of weeks], my primary care physician Thor Digre displayed weird behaviour, and asked me to find a new primary care physician.

NAVI has on their end done some weird things, and I have given them information relevant to the case and my situation, which it looks like they have ignored.

So I'm asking what NAV and NAVI are doing [and have been doing]. Now one should be very careful to [be the boy who cried wolf], especially with a prior history of serious mental illness, but you can consider this a legal maneuver to give you an approach vector.

You know, there is a 5 year statute of limitations on crimes with a maximum penalty of 4 years.

A signed copy of this document will be sent later.

Regards,

Morten W. Petersen

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [24 Mar 12:27 Europe/Oslo]

More emails with Inger-Ritha Olsen, leader of child protection services, Rana municipality

So, I emailed some more with Inger-Ritha Olsen, and I have not seen a response since I emailed her last Friday, 4 days ago. I have also not seen a vacation message saying she for example moved to Spain and married her Spanish lawyer.

So here are the messages, I think they are pretty self-explanatory. Translated, originals are here and here.

To: Inger-Ritha Olsen
Cc: Lawyer, Healthcare, Family counselling, Rana court, Trøndelag County Manager office
Bcc: Dad, police
Subject: Recommended tapering speed, Seroquel
Date: Friday, 16th of March 2018, 19:02

Hi again Inger-Ritha.

There was one thing I was wondering about. It is the case that I want more contact with the kids.

I've made this clear to the kids, because I feel it is important that they know I want more contact, because they will then feel wanted.

[Comment: It's been recommended to me that I keep the conflict level down when talking to the kids, because they shouldn't have to take sides, manage the stress etc. at their age]

But what's your opinion about [the oldest son] being separated from me, and me having little contact with [the youngest son]?

How does this affect their mental health, in the short term and the long term? What about their personality?

They must have understood by now, that things aren't alright now, or later. Who is going to explain things to them?

What does a child feel, if it can see that one parent is fake, and hinders contact with the other parent, and the child is caught up in that situation?

What does [the oldest son] feel if he finds sensitive and partially incorrect information about me, and [the kids mom] has set that up?

Regards,

Morten

Email 2

To: Inger-Ritha Olsen
Cc: Lawyer, Healthcare, Family counselling, Rana court, Trøndelag county manager office
Bcc: Dad, police
Date: Monday, 19th of March 2018, 19:57

Hi again Inger-Ritha.

If I don't see a reply on this email by 1500 Tuesday, I will blog about this as well.

Regards,

Morten

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [20 Mar 15:45 Europe/Oslo]

Some emails with Inger-Ritha Olsen, leader of child protection services, Rana municipality

So, I haven't seen the kids in person since November 2017, and I've had one video chat with the kids this year.

I've asked for more physical meet-ups, and video chats, but the kids mom is not cooperating.

So my lawyer sent a letter last week, asking that the kids mom agrees to supervision from the state so I can see the kids, be relaxed about seeing the kids and also fulfilling the kids moms "needs" to be assured things are going OK.

I exchanged some emails with Inger-Ritha Olsen today, leader of the child protection services in Rana municipality. I've been in contact with her several times, and also sent "concern messages" regarding the kids well-being. My impression is that the kids want to see me more, but the kids mom doesn't respect that.

So yes, today I emailed her (email 1, email 2 and email 3 on the tail of that email thread), and she has been droning on about this not being a matter for the child protection services, that the kids mom makes it difficult to see the kids or that she has used them to blackmail me/harass me sexually.

On that last email I asked Inger-Ritha if it is tolerable that a mom makes it difficult for the dad to see the kids, if the dad rejects a sexual relationship with the mom. I've seen the kids 2-3 hours on average each month since the summer of 2013.

And the mental health professionals in the court case in the summer of 2015 painted a glorious picture of the kids mom, despite her selfish actions.

With the court case in 2015 which looks like a joke, I have no other real option than to go for a minimum of time seeing the kids in court the next time, because that is what would be difficult to lose on in court, and I wouldn't have to bear the court costs of the kids mom when "losing" a case.

And the court costs for the previous case are something I have to pay, and it was 80.000 NOK, but is now according to the mom, close to 100.000 NOK. That more than 8000-10000 euros, or 10-13000 US dollars. So the kids mom is earning interest on a court case she saw as "necessary", and I have an income of under 200.000 NOK per year.

I have not seen a reply from Inger-Ritha Olsen yet on my last questions.

Email 1 has been edited to remove the name of the kids mom, and may look slightly different.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [15 Mar 19:01 Europe/Oslo]

Sex in the 21st century (an email to my lawyer)

So, after my experiences in life, I decided to email my lawyer the other day, to clarify some things about sexual relations with women.

I thought it would be good to share this email with you all, so here it is translated. I'm not using the name of the lawyer, because I don't know if he wants it to be disclosed.

To: Lawyer
From: Morten
Subject: Question about kids from one-night stands, relationships etc.

Hi Lawyer.

I guess I feel open about being in a relationship again, but I am worried about getting into another situation with a woman making it difficult to see the kids, getting pregnant "by accident" etc.

So I was wondering if I sleep with a woman one night, and she becomes pregnant, does one then have to pay child-support for 18-21 years?

Can one make a deal [sign a contract] before sleeping together, where one disclaims any responsibility, that kids are not planned etc.?

Does something like that need a signature, or would an SMS suffice?

Regards,

Morten

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [05 Mar 20:39 Europe/Oslo]

The kids mom is not cooperating

So, I heard at the start of this week, that the kids mom is coming to Steinkjer this weekend, from my mom.

The kids mom has rejected meeting me in a public play park in Steinkjer today, because I won't sign an agreement she has dictated, regarding seeing the kids.

So after using the kids to try to get sex, then trying to get me to keep my mouth shut, she is now using them to get an agreement she has dictated, and she won't answer simple questions about the agreement. I have no trust in the kids mom, so I can't sign an agreement where I am forced to be at her place, with only her family around.

She will not setup meets in public places, for example in kids play parks, which I know the kids enjoy.

So rather symbolically, I stopped by the Trondheim train station today, to show that I was there and ready to take the train about 200 KMs to see the kids, but the kids mom would not set it up.

Morten standing in front of the departure screen at the trainstation

Because the kids mom has been difficult for over 4,5 years now, I am now publishing the latest email thread, where the man married to the kids mom twin sister, is acting as a negotiatior. I'm also showing the last SMS sent to the kids mom, confirming that my understanding is that she will not let me see the kids in a public place.

The SMS was sent yesterday, Friday, today is Saturday.

Because these last files contain names, I am blocking web indexing spiders, so that it will not be possible to search by their name on Google for example and find this blog post.

I think that's a fair compromise, between upping the sanctions to get a solution, and protecting privacy.

http://blogologue.com/steinkjer_2018/epost.pdf

http://blogologue.com/steinkjer_2018/sms.png




[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [03 Feb 14:14 Europe/Oslo]

Charges pressed against the Norwegian police, and the Norwegian health care system

So, earlier today I filed a police report, filed a report, reported the police and health care system, to the police. And to the justice department.

In english, the content of that report was (roughly translated):

Subject: Charges pressed against the Norwegian police, and the Norwegian health care system
To: post.trondelag@politiet.no, post@spesialenheten.no, post.nordland@politiet.no, Tiller-DPS@stolav.no, post@stolav.no, postmottak@jd.dep.no
Cc: Sveinung Hestad Strand <strand@advokatsf.no>

Hi.

I want to press charges against the Norwegian police, and the Norwegian health care system, for the legally punishable actions they have made, in connection with the case that the woman I have two children with, has made it difficult to see the kids since the summer 2013, as well as other things.

And by actions, I mean that choosing to not do something, is an active choice/action as well.

It looks like the kids mom also before the summer 2013, laid plans to make it difficult for me to see the kids, and I have a reason to also consider that she could have done things, before the firstborn was born, which later could be used in manipulation, making it difficult to see the kids etc.

After a round in court and 4,5 years, it is still difficult to get simple things regarding seeing the kids done. One week before the first time I was seeing the kids after going to court, I was in an accident that could have resulted in paralysis and/or death.

A signed copy of these charges is coming soon.

<signature, date>
<different identification and contact information.>

A PDF of the signed document is here: http://blogologue.com/0567_001.pdf

[Permalink] [By morphex] [I will soon be reporting the police in Trondheim and Mo i Rana, and the health care system, to the police, for their criminal (in)actions (Atom feed)] [27 Jan 21:34 Europe/Oslo]

I will soon be reporting the police in Trondheim and Mo i Rana, and the health care system, to the police, for their criminal (in)actions

In a recent calculation, I found that since the summer 2013, I've seen the kids on average, 2-3 hours each month. And that is something I have worked (too) hard at getting.

So the kids mom and I have been in a conflict since then. I think it is safe to say that the situation is about as bad today, as it was in the summer 2013; in other words, it has not improved.

I have been in contact with the police in Mo i Rana, and Trondheim and they have been well informed, and the health care system has also been well informed since 2009/2010. Other state instances have also been informed / in the loop at times.

The last time I went to the police at Trondheim central police station, the person receiving my complaint regarding the kids mom, smiled and shrugged at me, calling it a matter for a civil suit. I've already been to court once.

I think it has been well documented that the kids mom is not cooperating, and I have seen little action from the police. And from what I see in the law text, if one parent makes it difficult for the other parent to see the kids, without reason, that is a criminal offence.

So I am within days, going to sign and send a document where I am reporting the police and the state health care system for their criminal (in)actions. It will be sent to the police in Trondheim, the police in Mo i Rana and the local health care branch. It will also be sent to what I guess translates to the internal affairs branch of the police.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [26 Jan 21:44 Europe/Oslo]

Questioning mental health experts in the Norwegian court

So.. it's been well over 2 years since the court case, which I participated in to get to see my kids and clear up some things about the kids mom, after many unfortunate acts and questionable behaviour.

When I was in court the summer 2015, and afterwards, it felt like a weird experience, for different reasons. But looking back at the whole process, there are a lot of questionable things going on.

But a week ago, I sent an email to the court-appointed mental health experts that were to evaluate me and the kids mom. In their report and in court, they said that the kids mom had no narcissistic or sociopathic traits.

I don't have any formal psychological education, but with my experience of the kids mom and life in general, I find that hard to believe.

So in this email I asked the mental health experts in what was called "INSTITUTT FOR KLINISK FOREBYGGENDE TILTAK AS" [Edit: LTD replaced with AS] (loosely translated to "INSTITUTE FOR CLINICALLY PREVENTATIVE MEASURES LTD" [Edit: Added LTD]), now called "KLINISK KOMPETANSETEAM AS" (loosely translated to "CLINICAL COMPETENCE TEAM LTD"), if they could clarify what they meant by saying that the kids mom had no narcissistic or sociopathic traits, and also say something about how likely it is in general that a person does not have a trait in one of those categories.

It looks like that email was sent 09:05 AM on the 21st of December, and counting the 21st, 22nd, 27th and 28th as working days, I have not seen a response on email, regular snail mail or my phone from these mental health experts. I would think that they could at least give an indication that they would or would not answer in 4 working days.

As for my timing right around Christmas eve, well the case was submitted to the court right before Christmas 2014, by the kids mom. And this is their j-o-b.

It should be mentioned that I filed a complaint to the police against these mental health experts earlier, for false testimony. I have not heard anything from the police regarding this, which is interesting in itself. But I was at the Trondheim police station some weeks ago, wanting to file a complaint against the kids mom, but the person receiving me smiled, shrugged it off and called it a private matter and something that belongs in a civil suit(...).

I've previously written about these mental health experts here:

http://blogologue.com/blog_entry?id=1493643449X05

On a last note, I've talked to other people regarding this, and it seems that equality for mom and dad isn't a reality here in Norway. That's one thing, another might be regional politics, meaning old-fashioned culture and/or a need to keep the population numbers growing.

To me it is clear that the kids mom has played me for some years now, but I doubt she or those directly around her has the muscle to pull off all of this, all by themselves.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [28 Dec 18:27 Europe/Oslo]

Raspberry Pi as a WiFi uplink point for cable switch

So.. to keep myself entertained and work a bit with technical things I haven't worked a lot with earlier, I dug out the old Raspberry Pi and figured I could use it as an uplink for a switch I recently bought.

So basically I have

  The internet -> Apartment router -> My WiFi Router -> Raspberry Pi with Wifi -> Switch -> Computer x,y,z

This enables me to setup computers with internet, by just plugging them into the switch with an Ethernet cable. The ISC DHCP server is running on the Raspberry Pi, and deals out the necessary bits to each computer so that it gets internet access.

You can see the switch as well as the Pi on the following picture:

Raspberry Pi and ethernet switch with LED lights

Now I thought the whole thing was a bit daunting and didn't know where to start, but some recipes on the net made things fairly easy, and I do know a bit about networking etc. from earlier on.

Now, the Raspberry Pi has a DHCP server running, which deals out IP addresses, gateway etc. to each computer that connects to the switch.

The DHCP server is configured basically like this and listens on the Raspberry Ethernet port, eth0:

option domain-name "blogologue.com";
option domain-name-servers 8.8.8.8;

default-lease-time 600;
max-lease-time 7200;

ddns-update-style none;

subnet 192.168.2.0 netmask 255.255.255.0 {
        range 192.168.2.2 192.168.2.254;
        option routers 192.168.2.1;
}

But the Pi also has to know how to send data to and from the computers that are hooked up to the switch, and here's a script that sets that up:

#!/bin/bash
echo 1 > /proc/sys/net/ipv4/ip_forward
iptables -t nat -A POSTROUTING -o wlan0 -j MASQUERADE
iptables -A FORWARD -i wlan0 -o eth0 -m state --state RELATED,ESTABLISHED -j ACCEPT
iptables -A FORWARD -i eth0 -o wlan0 -j ACCEPT

Using those two bits, and using the built-in WiFi configuration in raspi-config, I setup a network for easy internet access in a couple of hours.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [27 Dec 00:26 Europe/Oslo]

I have a problem, and it is just not with my kids mom

So, it seems I have a problem not only with the kids mom, but also with the health system and bureaucracy.

Some 8 years ago, I started taking medication to treat psychosis, and it was a medication called Seroquel.

The long-term side-effects of Seroquel can be diabetes and heart disease, so I was a bit surprised when the psychiatrist was negative towards me starting to exercise regularly, my physician wasn't overly positive and the NAV bureaucracy that doles out money to me wouldn't set it up as something they would sponsor.

So it seems that the system doesn't mind that I can get diabetes, because it is treatable. At the same time, I guess it advances the medical sciences. [Added a bit later: I guess it is more correct to say that diabetes is *manageable*]

Also, confidential and partially incorrect information has been abused, which means I don't trust the way confidential information is used and find it better to not talk to a psychiatrist at this point.

I'm in a situation now, 2,5 years after going to court with the kids mom, where the interest for her court costs, which I have to pay, is 1000 kroner, has a big impact on my economy. [Added a bit later: That is 1000 kroner per month]

I think the situation would have been different if I had been in an institution initially for a longer time and treated differently, instead of taking a medication that not only treats psychotic symptoms.

But I guess it is a lot cheaper to give a patient pills, and leave him with a person that later turns out would make it very difficult to see the kids, among other things. And if the patient happens to get diabetes, I guess that would be sad, but at the same time it advances the medical sciences.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [14 Dec 17:22 Europe/Oslo]

Recording multiple audio input streams on Linux

I guess one of the important things for me dabbling with music, is the ability to perform using only a guitar and my voice. Piano and vocal is another thing I'd like to do, but maybe a bit later. So when I'm able to play the guitar and sing at the same time, why not record both at the same time.

So, I was looking at the possibility of recording the guitar and the vocal microphone at the same time, using Audacity.

I also googled a bit and it was a lot of yada yada expensive sound cards.

Now I have a built-in soundcard on the motherboard of my desktop computer, I also had a USB stick soundcard lying around.

So why not plug in the USB card and see if I can setup a system where I record guitar and vocal using two separate sound cards?

The sound system on my Fedora desktop is ALSA:

[morphex@localhost ~]$ ps uaxww|grep alsa
root 874 0.0 0.0 17160 2892 ? SNs nov.26 0:00 /usr/sbin/alsactl -s -n 19 -c -E ALSA_CONFIG_PATH=/etc/alsa/alsactl.conf --initfile=/lib/alsa/init/00main rdaemon
morphex 23598 0.0 0.0 119468 960 pts/5 S+ 19:00 0:00 grep --color=auto alsa
[morphex@localhost ~]$

And to get a list of recording devices, I used

[morphex@localhost ~]$ arecord -l
**** List of CAPTURE Hardware Devices ****
card 0: Megalodon [Razer Megalodon], device 0: USB Audio [USB Audio]
  Subdevices: 1/1
  Subdevice #0: subdevice #0
card 1: PCH [HDA Intel PCH], device 0: ALC1150 Analog [ALC1150 Analog]
  Subdevices: 1/1
  Subdevice #0: subdevice #0
card 1: PCH [HDA Intel PCH], device 2: ALC1150 Alt Analog [ALC1150 Alt Analog]
  Subdevices: 1/1
  Subdevice #0: subdevice #0
card 3: Device [USB PnP Sound Device], device 0: USB Audio [USB Audio]
  Subdevices: 1/1
  Subdevice #0: subdevice #0
[morphex@localhost ~]$

I guess the most complicated part of getting this multi-source recording to work was getting the arecord commands right. But here's the recording script:

[morphex@localhost ~]$ cat rec.sh
#!/bin/sh
arecord -D hw:1,0 -f S16_LE -d 360 -c2 -r 44100 voice.wav &> voice.wav.log&
arecord -D hw:3,0 -f S16_LE -d 360 -c1 -r 44100 guitar.wav &> guitar.wav.log&
[morphex@localhost ~]$

arecord gave an obscure message which led me to try -c2 as an argument on the first command, and there was also some sampling rate issues so I set both sampling rates to 44100.

I was worried about syncing issues on a setup like this, but importing both wav files into Audacity and working on them from there, there were no issues with one track lagging behind the other. I can't notice any guitar echo on the vocal mic on the recording below.

So there you have it, fairly simple and cheap to setup a multi-input-source recording system on Linux.

You can hear the result here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z48VlFBHhhA&amp;feature=yout...

I also created that video using kdenlive, which is about the simplest and best video editor I've found on Linux. I'm not an advanced video editor, and it was fairly easy to get results using kdenlive.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [27 Nov 18:58 Europe/Oslo]

License to chill

So, a while ago I got a stretch at the top of my gluteus maximus (or right butt-cheek if you will), which was quite painful.

After that, I got different pain medications from my doctor, used towards max recommended dosage in the beginning and then tapered it off. Now I'm on Paracetamol, Ibuprofen and Tramadol:

Picture of Tramadol slow release, Paracetamol and Ibuprofen

A key thing about taking this pain medication, is that it makes it a lot easier to stretch out the core muscles and the leg muscles, when it is very painful if the muscles haven't been warmed up.

So these days I exercise 2-3 days in a row, stretch and take as little pain medication as possible, and then have a resting day. On the resting day it is nice to just rest, and do as little as possible, and then I take a Tramadol slow release tablet, then 3-4 hours after that take a Paracetamol and Ibuprofen tablet. From what I gather, it takes 4-5 hours for the Tramadol to peak, and about 1 hour for the Paracetamol and Ibuprofen to peak. So now in about 45 minutes I should be at the peak effect of all of these drugs, and I've also had some cups of coffee which also has a pain-killing effect.

Then I'll do some stretches, and take Paracetamol and Ibuprofen again in about 5 hours, and try to stretch at least 5 times today. I also have a massaging device which can be applied to the affected areas to increase the blood-flow, which should help heal and repair damage.

But I guess a key question is why I'm still on pain medication, as the original stretch in the butt seems to have healed and now I have a problem with the right bottom part of the foot twisting outwards when I sit resting towards a wall. I noticed that my feet (maybe only right foot) weren't responding properly well before this stretch, so it might have something to do with the bus accident a couple of years ago, or even go further back.

So I'm on a two-pronged "attack" now, to see if blame should/could be put on the bus company or earlier medical treatment that was not good enough. It might I am to blame for most or all of it, but we'll see.

Anyway, here I am taking an opioid drug (Tramadol) when I could've perhaps used a cannabinoid painkiller instead. Makes me wonder if old political rhetoric is still ruling our modern lives with an iron fist. 😕



[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [09 Nov 16:08 Europe/Oslo]

What is the Norwegian police up to?

So, I sent in a formal complaint to the police at the end of February this year, 2017.

It was a formal complaint about the mental health professionals who made a report, and a sworn testimony, during the trial the summer 2015 about my kids, me and their mom.

I haven't heard anything back about it, and recently I had to ask twice for a receipt, reporting another incident which happened a couple of years ago, which could have left med paralyzed or dead.

Now I thought to myself that I would refrain from blogging about this in the interest of keeping the collaboration climate between me and the kids mom cooler, but when the actions of the police on the one hand is difficult to understand, and the kids mom still doesn't collaborate in a satisfactory fashion, I think I have the right and need to blog about it.

I think there are a couple of key things here which should be mentioned. Since the summer 2013 I've had significant costs visiting my kids, and after raising the issue many times over many years, I understood it that this february, we could split the cost 50/50 if all prior costs were forfeited. I think my costs are around 20-30.000 NOK now, and my current income is less than 200.000 NOK per year. A lot less than what the kids mom is earning. I do pay child support, and I don't have any child support debt.

Now this is when the law says that travel expenses for seeing the kids should be split between parents according to their income, and it was the kids mom that decided to move 500km north and away.

Another thing is the court expenses; since I "lost" the case, I have to pay the expenses for the kids mom's lawyer. These also have a 12% interest. When I tried to negotiate a solution through the lowest court or arbitrator of claims here in Norway, they were unable to get in touch with the kids mom.

And finally, I asked during recent negotations that I call the kids on videochat every week, and now the kids mom says it will only happen every 2 weeks - this without there being any major problems during the video chats that have been. But I did reject talking to the kids mom over videochat in that period.

Finally, here is an image with names redacted, of the complaint I made this year to the police. It is in Norwegian, I will translate it later.

Image of email reporting mental health professionals that worked for a court case to the police, in Norwegian

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [19 Oct 21:49 Europe/Oslo]

A little autumn reflection.. ♫

Hand with autumn leaves, some stars at the bottom.  Text says I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my garden leaves

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Nature (Atom feed)] [19 Oct 17:31 Europe/Oslo]

..schwimmingly

Small dam with tadpoles

Sometimes the swimming pool is indeed too crowded.

Image from https://snappygoat.com/o/c7a99a71ef8040f418ebcb06d241de899fb4a917

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [29 Sep 17:48 Europe/Oslo]

Into the darkness I go..

So Hugh Hefner has passed. I thought this would be fitting.

Image of Hugh Hefner in a suit smoking a pipe, maybe in his thirties

Image taken from media pack at http://www.playboyenterprises.com

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Media (Atom feed)] [28 Sep 17:50 Europe/Oslo]

Installing and using Fedora Linux 26 on my desktop computer

So, this week I got to buy a used bass guitar for cheap, after having put up an advertisement that I wanted to buy one.

I live in an apartment complex, so using any rig to play music is not such a good idea, so I thought why not go the cheap route here as well, and try to use a software-based amplifier which should give some of the same sound as an amplifier.

Well, I also bought a cheap USB-pluggable sound card a while ago, so I thought I'd use that.. but that didn't work out too well, so I decided to upgrade the Ubuntu installation from version 16 to 17..

And that was a mistake. I think the problem was that I had made some customization to the USB setup etc. a while ago - and when I upgraded to the new software and settings it didn't mix well with what I did earlier.

So.... after a bit of back and forth trying different options, the one I ended up with was wiping out the old Linux swap partition and installing Fedora 26 on it, which should be OK as I do have 16 GBs of RAM.

So yeah, I ended up doing that, the installation was straightforward and booted up in the new environment.

The environment didn't look too good, as the NVIDIA graphics drivers had to be installed manually, and the default settings for appearance of the desktop were towards fast and snappy rather than pretty.

Installing the NVIDIA drivers was a process in itself, and it's hard to understand that there is a good reason for having to do this, this way, in 2017. I saw something about NVIDIA being worried about knock-off cards etc. - but if it is so easy to knock off the product maybe this is more about brand and perceived value. Or maybe NVIDIA is favouring the Windows platform and making it a bit harder for Linux to compete. "Dollars, anyone?"

Anyway, I found instructions for installing the graphic drivers here:

https://www.if-not-true-then-false.com/2015/fedora-nvidia-gu...

Which were straightforward. After tweaking the settings a bit, the desktop looks OK and here's a screenshot:

Screenshot of Fedora 26 Desktop with KDE Plasma

Another thing I had to deal with was the sound setup; I have multiple soundcards in my machine, one is built-in into the [Edit: replaced soundcard with motherboard] motherboard, another is in the NVIDIA graphics card and the third is in my USB gaming headset, the Razer Megalodon.

When I bought the headset about a year ago used, it was a bit of a process to set it up on Linux, but eventually it worked.

So I was a bit surprised when it worked out of the box after the installation, but when I tried playing music there was no sound; the system automatically preferred another sound card even though the Megalodon was the default sound card. After oogling and googling a bit, I found that I could disable the other sound cards by blacklisting their driver module in the kernel, adding "blacklist snd_hda_intel" to /etc/modprobe.d/sound.blacklist.conf.

So although the installation process is OK, the user-friendliness of Fedora is still a bit half-assed, no regular computer user can easily figure out how to blacklist a sound card, and it is difficult to setup the graphical appearance in the most appealing way.

[Update 2017-09-24] I decided to try out some gaming as well, and installing the Steam client looked like a good choice. However, even using the RPM Fusion repository, the Steam client failed with different errors. The fix for that was downgrading (...) the NVIDIA drivers from 384.90 to 375.82.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Linux (Atom feed)] [23 Sep 14:14 Europe/Oslo]

I won't be voting in 2017

So, this year it is an election in Norway, for parliament.

A couple of days ago I was asked whether I'll vote and I said no, I don't feel like it.

When I gave it some thought, the thing that popped into my mind and persisted there without much else, was polishing a turd. You can polish a turd, but it is still a turd.

I took a test just now and it seems I have the same political orientation now as before, I guess I'm just disillusioned about how things actually work.

Seems I can't escape the election talk either; it's on the news all the time, and even ad-funded social media has ads that pop up here and there with simple political selling points for political parties.


FRP Facebook ad

Like this one, which says that the oil is going to get pumped up! Yes it will until there is not enough profit to be made, who cares.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [10 Sep 16:47 Europe/Oslo]

Justice 2K

So, I was making myself some oat meal today, something I do regularly as it is filling, keeps me going and is quite healthy.

Lately I've also started exercising more, and because of that, I'm changing eating habits a bit, to get a variation and make it easier to eat those times I don't feel like eating.

So I bought some cherry compote the other day (kirsebær-kompott in Norwegian), and mixed that into the oat porridge today.

Tasted OK, and now I can mix some cherry into the food plan as well.

Oat meal with compote and skimmed milk

Anyway, I see the news now and then, read on the web and so on, and it is almost always the men who have done some atrocity, yada yada ya.

Seeing that men and women are different isn't difficult, but then again, you have for example yin and yang, where the masculine and feminine are equal but opposing forces.

So where are the female perpetrators? Is culture just laid up in a way that men often become so-called winners and losers, while women are more evenly spread around the average?

I guess there is some internal justice between women, and the fights are more subtle while men can get physical.

Oh well, I guess biologically it made sense for the women to stay around the cave as they got pregnant, while the men went out chasing food. And that this is something that echoes well into today.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [21 Aug 14:53 Europe/Oslo]

Going (c)old turkey

Last Saturday I quit using tobacco, Snus in my case. After having thought about it for a long time, over a year, I decided that enough is enough, and quit then and there.

It's now been a week and I think the worst of it is over, I had some trouble sleeping the entire night through a couple of days ago, but feel OK now.

I should have done this sooner. I'll save my health (heart rate is down 10-20), my money and I won't have another thing I *have* to have control over.

Here's probably the last box of Snus I've ever opened:

Holding a box of General snus

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [19 Aug 23:08 Europe/Oslo]

Caught up in the Norwegian sausage factory

So, these 2 last days I've been able to see my kids, for 3 hours in a indoor play park and today for 2 hours were we did normal stuff.

I suggested 5 hours in the play park, but that wasn't possible, so it ended up being 3 hours.

I think the time we had together was nice, very good yesterday and OK today as the oldest one didn't seem like he was in great shape.

But I guess this is mostly a post to shake my fist at the system, as long as babies are born and the state gets its inhabitants, it doesn't seem like it matters much exactly how.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [03 Aug 19:42 Europe/Oslo]

Hello, ladies

So lately I've gotten around to exercising more, and since there has been some sunny days, I've also gotten a bit of a tan.

Now I might be imagining things, but it looks like I'm getting more attention from you ladies.

Which is nice, but since the situation is as it is, it would be nice if you're interested, that you send me an email, a message or something in written form.

I like a cute face, I like a nice personality.

[Update 2017-09-29] Again I'd like to repeat that the best way to get in touch with me is simply to send me a message. I'm not interested in playing games, and to guard myself against dyssocial female dogs etc. it's better this way. Life is short.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [13 May 21:35 Europe/Oslo]

Norway - a land of cheap but not so good health care?

So, I've been reflecting lately, on the situation I've come into, and how I got here.

I'd say that I've had serious mental health issues since the start of my teens, and that this has impacted me in a way that my life on average hasn't been so good since then.

I'd also say that I've worked hard since maybe around being 18-20 years old, and worked hard until I got psychotic in 2009.

My company Nidelven IT was on an upwards trend financially, but after I got sick I figured the best things was to hand over the 24/7 hosting and support to another company. This was done, and although I have my doubts on whether it was a good deal financially, a lot of customers have been taken care of.

But since I got psychotic, the finances of the company have gone steadily downwards, and at this point there is little money left in the company, which doesn't give much room for marketing, sales and so on - generating new opportunities for work and growth.

At the same time, it seems to me that the mom of my kids has been deceitful and negative for my overall health and I'm now in a position that I get to see my kids 4 hours every 6 weeks.

In addition to all of this, I'm in a bit of a hole financially, since I was in court in the summer of 2015 to get a verdict on seeing my kids, as well as an evaluation of the kids mom, an evaluation I don't put trust into and I've pressed charges for false testimony. That evaluation was done by Institutt for Klinisk Forebyggende Tiltak - Ikft AS.

I guess I've always had my pride, and wanted to handle things on my own, so after I got sick I had partial sick leave, then unemployment benefits, and now something called AAP - a benefit which kicks in for a period where your work abilities and health is evaluated and clarified.

But since I've tried to make things on my own and had a low income after I got sick, the AAP from NAV is based on a low income which translates into an income of <200.000 NOK in 2016. At the same time, I got the court costs for the kids mom, which was around 80.000 and with 12% interest it is now approaching 100.000 NOK.

I think it is possible I could've been in a better place today, if I had been treated in an institution after I got sick, instead of being home with a woman that I think hurt me more than did me good.

Since the start of 2010 I've been taking medication and going to therapy, and I've worked hard to be in an OK situation today regarding my mental and physical health.

But it doesn't seem fair or right that I'm in a financial squeeze and don't get to see my kids, when I've worked hard all my life. Would it have cost more to treat me in an institution? Yes. But I think it would have been less likely that I would have been in the situation I am today, and the kids would have had more contact with a parent that does have their best interest at heart.

I also don't know the long term effects of having been in a stressful relationship and situation and taking medication that does have negative long term effects.

If anything, I'd recommend signing a contract before having kids, so that the other party is bound to a minimum of reasonable behaviour. And talking to a lawyer regarding medical treatment, work, sick leave, unemployment benefits and NAV.

[Added 28th of December 2017] These mental health experts are now called "CLINICAL COMPETENCE TEAM LTD", and I've blogged more about them here: http://blogologue.com/blog_entry?id=1514482039X27

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [01 May 14:57 Europe/Oslo]

Is this war?

So, I got to see my kids this weekend, and it was nice. We had a good time and celebrated the birthday of the youngest one.

During these times with the kids, there is a person there from the state, in something called "supporting supervision". Which is something I wanted and agreed to in court, mostly because I didn't know what kind of tricks their mom could pull or stories she could cook up, with or without the help of others.

I talk a bit with the supervisor during these visits and she also talked in a war metaphor, about giving in etc. Which is interesting, because the mental health professionals that said the kids mom was "great" in court also said something like it at one point, and I believe before the problems seeing my kids started, the kids mom also used a war metaphor, saying something like "if you want war you'll get war".

Now it's interesting that the war metaphor is used. War is war, war has rules and you have to follow the law regardless.

It seems that the kids mom sees the war metaphor as doing whatever you like, even breaking the law, to reach whatever objective you have.

Before the final break up, we had an agreement that others (independent professionals) can and have verified about me seeing the kids 3 days every second weekend. But the kids mom never signed my copy, so the police in Mo i Rana wouldn't do anything when the kids mom cut me off from the kids.

In addition to that, the kids moms said that she would like to have a relationship, also a purely sexual one, before the final break-up. When I didn't want a relationship with her, things got difficult. (Long story short, me and the kids mom had problems, we went to family counselling and struck a deal on me seeing the kids, she moved, I rejected a relationship with her, she cut me off from the kids, we went to court, I got a verdict that I could see the kids, I've been seeing the kids).

So what she did was deceitful, maybe goes into the fraud category and that she abused the position she had with the kids and stopping me from seeing them, is something that persisted over a long period of time, and goes somewhere in the range of sexual harassment to attempted rape. And emotional blackmail as well.

Furthermore, I've talked a bit about this with different people, including women, and none of the women have really objected to what's going on.

So maybe something is going on or has been said about me that I haven't heard, or this behaviour and war-metaphor thinking is something that reflects the thinking of a significant segment of the female population here in Norway.

This isn't acts of war, it is simply criminal acts, made by a person that has problems interacting with the world in a way at least I see as normal.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [28 Apr 00:12 Europe/Oslo]

My first practical electronic hack

So, some time ago I figured I'd start a bit with electronics, soldering, circuit boards etc. I laid that on the shelf for a while, and now after I created that Raspberry Pi Wi-Fi router ( http://blogologue.com/blog_entry?id=1482409533X51 ) my motivation to start hardware hacking returned.

I've read up a little bit about electronics; resistors, potentiometers, diodes, voltage etc. - all in a very leisurely pace. I have bits and pieces of electronics lying around, including a Raspberry Pi / Arduino kit as well as some variants of the Arduino card.

I also have various adapters, wires and whatnot lying around after many years of consuming electronics, so I figured that I could take a DC power plug that fits in the Arduino MEGA and connect that to the power adapter that goes into the wall socket.

The DC power plug for the Arduino came from a 9V->Arduino DC power plug connector and since batteries are expensive and I might end up putting that Arduino up for some practical use, splitting the 9V connector from the DC power plug was an easy decision. Fortunately there are online webshops like dx.com and aliexpress.com that sell bits and pieces of electronics at very low prices.

So here's the 9V connector that I didn't need:

9V connector from Arduino connector

I'm going to store that in a box of bits and pieces, as I might need it again some day. I also left some wire on it so it's easy to connect to whatever later.

I also separated the plug from the wall adapter, a standard adapter that gives 5 volts and 0.8 amps, or 4W max

Wall power adapter

I also stripped the end of the wire from the adapter and twisted the wires from the DC plug and the adapter together, and put them in one of those things that can hold circuit boards etc.

Circuit board holder

Put some cardboard underneath for capturing soldering spills and soldered the wires together. Then I wrapped some office-grade tape around the soldered wires for insulation, gave them a quick heat treatment with a lighter and then wrapped another round of tape around them. It's not electrical tape but I assume it is good enough, it's not a lot of current in those wires.

OK, so here's the result of my first practical hardware hack which involves soldering:

Arduino MEGA with power from hacked wall wart

It works and I've made good use of an adapter that probably would have been lying stored and eventually discarded (who can keep track of these adapters and their connectors anyway).

The only issue now is figuring out why the Arduino gives only 3.5V on its 5V pin; using the multimeter on the DC intake shows a bit more than 5V so it might just be that that's the way things work. I have a 5V motor I'd like to connect to the Arduino to play around a bit.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [10 Jan 13:34 Europe/Oslo]

Custom Raspberry Pi Wi-Fi router

So, I've moved to a new place, and as a result of that move, I need to get a decent setup for networking. One that gives low latency for gaming as well as high bandwidth for big Linux image downloads for example.

I have a Netgear router lying around which I could use, but I've also got some bits I've accumulated the last couple of years, like a Raspberry Pi mini-computer, a 10 metre Ethernet cable, USB Wi-Fi adapters and more.

So I opted to create my own access point, and thought that would be easy enough. Well it wasn't as easy as it should be, because the Realtek chipset has some old drivers, so I had to fiddle with patching the standard hostapd (access point app).

I ended up compiling the wpa Debian package to include the rtl871xdrv patch ( https://github.com/pritambaral/hostapd-rtl871xdrv ) and then set on to create an accesspoint using create_ap ( https://github.com/oblique/create_ap ).

The AP started up and was visible, but it wasn't possible to authenticate. So I tested things back and forth, and also considered making it an unencrypted access point with MAC address based access control, but luckily I got a response from Guan Xin on the hostap@lists.infradead.org mailing list hinting that I should turn off some capabilities to make it all work.

So I now have an access point running, and it seems to be running just fine, I get about 25 Mb/s downloading from the internet now. [Edit: That was 25 Mbit/s, not MB].

Here's how it looks:

Picture of Raspberry Pi lying on the floor, with Wi-Fi adapter

It's maybe a bit overkill building my own router, but now I have full flexibility and control in how it should be setup, from QoS to firewalling to logging.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [22 Dec 13:25 Europe/Oslo]

Not getting information on my kids

So, I have had access to a little bit of my oldest sons school information in an online IT system, but that access has been retracted now.

The principal Bente Grønningen Marthinussen at the school is referring to the verdict last year, which does give the kids mom the custody rights.

Now from what I gathered from my lawyer, granting one parent these rights is a way of dampening the conflict between the parents.

But since the verdict, I've participated a little bit in my oldest sons school activities, and I can't see I've done anything negative in that regard.

So it seems the kids mom is over time doing the one thing she has the power to do, and that is provocate using the kids as a pawn, first denying me access to the kids, then changing their last name (which used to be mine), then denying me information from kindergarten and school.

Couple this with sexual assault, sexual harassment, trying to force me into a sexual relationship, hinting that she was just using me to have kids and then using that argument against me and things are looking pretty ugly.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [13 Dec 11:01 Europe/Oslo]

Winner, winner - not - chicken dinner

I've been focusing on food, exercise and getting healthier the last couple of years, and a part of that has been going slightly flexitarian in what I eat.

So far I've eaten chicken and farmed salmon, but lately eating this kind of food has left me with a little bit of distaste, distaste for how these animals are farmed up and then slaughtered after a rather petty life.

So it fits well that I some months ago bought some frozen hens on the local megamarket, these are hens that have lived a productive life, pushing out eggs on a regular basis.

I'd say eggs and garlic are two staple foods in my diet these days, and I do feel more comfortable with a mixed flexitarian diet rather than going full vegetarian, because I feel that it's easier to eat well, healthy and varied by going a bit mixed.

So, these hens cluck around their lives, put out eggs and are at some point slaughtered. And then that meat (and everything else) can be put to good use.

A picture of a couple of hens that have simmered just below boiling for some hours:

Some hens in a pot, having simmered for hours

Later I'll pluck the meat off these, and freeze that, and then take everything that remains and let that simmer for at least 4 hours, let it boil down and then run it through a siv and freeze that as well.

From what I understand, there are a lot of nutrients in what remains, and it feels right to be able to make use of everything. It's a bit of a contrast to what most people do here in Norway, which is buy minced minced chicken meat, filets and so on. That's fine I guess, but with my approach, I make good use of an animal that hasn't just been brought up and fed to then be slaughtered.

I can't tell how these hens have been treated though, I guess that's on of my next goals in ethical eating - making sure that the animals I eat have been treated well enough.

As for chicken raised just for slaughter and fish raised in pens just for slaughter - I think the treatment they often get is questionable, and as for fish raised in pens, the effects on their surrounding environment can't be all positive, as has been seen on thick layers of sediment below then pens, as well as fish escaping from the pens and mixing with the local fish. I think I'll be buying more fish that has been roaming freely and then caught as well.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Food (Atom feed)] [02 Nov 00:58 Europe/Oslo]

An OGG/Vorbis player, implemented in Javascript

So, I've had a productive week(end), and after some fiddling over the last couple of months, I've managed to create a Javascript demuxer/decoder of OGG/Vorbis files. :)

It's located here:

http://blogologue.com/player/

Long story short, it runs in some browsers, as mentioned on the page. I think this is very cool, and it is nice to see that I've managed to make some practical use of the C programming I've been dabbling with the last couple of years.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Web (Atom feed)] [16 Oct 08:40 Europe/Oslo]

A nice 12-0 round of jet fighting

So I got a nice streak playing this evening:

http://battlelog.battlefield.com/bf4/battlereport/show/1/784...

I was off to a bit of a rough start, with an enemy jet attacking me around my base, and my AA was oblivious to this so I thought "OK, this is not going to be a good round".

But it ended up being quite good, in terms of K/D. Still getting used to the gamepad and analog sticks, as I've had to change from keyboard+mouse because of a tennis elbow.

I'm still looking to get more of an edge on the really good jet players, for example making use of the outside (and reverse) view - but changing to gamepad has been good as in, it makes me more positive towards trying different tactics and styles of playing.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Battlefield 4 (Atom feed)] [06 Oct 23:34 Europe/Oslo]

Revenge is a dish best served cold

So, I was with the kids a couple of weeks ago, we had 4 hours together and had a good time. However, at the hand-off of the kids, the kids mom and I ended up in a discussion about various things - and she referred to my blog as "that damned blog". Obviously she doesn't like that I'm writing about what's happening, and that is understandable because it can make her look bad, interfere with her plans and so on.

Now, I've blogged various things about the situtation about not seeing the kids, and I thought I'd give a summary / repetition about what has happened over a long period of time, and fill in some extra information.

So, first thing is first. I met the kids mom maybe around 2007, and my first son was born in October 2009. Around the time of his birth, I got some medication from my doctor, and also became psychotic (with among other things, hallucinations). Since the start of 2010 I've been taking anti-psychotic medication, and most of the time I've also gone to therapy, seeing psychiatrists and psychologists.

In 2010, we moved to my hometown, Trondheim, and lived there for 3 years. During this period, things were going better for me, I was working a bit, taking the oldest son to kindergarten, playing with him and so on.

But also in the same period, the relationship between the kids mom and I deteriorated, and in the start of 2013, she went back to her hometown, Mo i Rana.

In the deteriorating period, we went to family counselling together, and the kids mom also went there by herself. But that didn't help. So when we broke up in the start of 2013, we made an agreement at this counselling office, that I should get to see the kids 3 days every 2 weeks.

[Edit: Added paragraph]
Over a period of years, I have not gotten to see the kids as often as I wanted to, and I've been in contact with the police among others regarding this.
[/Edit]

However, the kids mom never signed my copy of that agreement, so later on the police wouldn't do anything about it. Here is an email thread where the family counselling office verifies that we were in agreement on how things should be regarding me seeing the kids:

http://blogologue.com/referat_fra_meklingstime.pdf

So in the period from January 2013 to May 2013, things were a bit back and forth, and when the kids mom left in May 2013, I made it clear that I did not want to be in a relationship with her.

I think before that final no from my side, we had made an agreement that I would come up some weeks later to help take care of the kids while someone in the kids moms family had a coming-of-age ceremony. I was there at that ceremony, and sat opposite the kids mom. She looked as if she had a very strained, doll-like smiling face, while you could see in her eyes that she was sad and angry.

Her parents were present as well, and took care of the kids until I figured out it was better to be wandering around with the oldest son to avoid dealing with the kids mom and that weird situation.

Anyway, during that visit in Mo, the kids mom came in one morning and touched me in an intimate place, even though I made it clear that I didn't want any kind of relationship. Maybe in a timespan of a couple of months before that, the kids mom more or less said that she would like just a sexual relationship.

So, maybe the same day or the day after this morning incident, the weird mood at the ceremony and all this, I got upset and used a loud voice to make it clear that this was something I didn't accept. As I was angry and said different things, the kids mom fiddled with the phone as she was recording something, if I remember correctly, she also purposely sounded stressed or scared during this argument.

So I feel she did a lot of things to aggravate me, and then either did record something that was a misrepresentation of the situation - or just pretended to.

Fast forward a couple of years, I'm now getting to see the kids on a regular basis, but the kids mom is still denying me visits to the kindergarten and school to see the kids, and she doesn't give any reason as to why.

But then, at the last visit to see the kids, at the hand-off, she said something along the lines of "at the school they don't have anyone who can keep an eye on you" - as if I could be a threat. I'm not a threat, and the following document shows that there are two things I've been diagnosed with during my treatment, and that is a psychosis and an anxiety disorder:

http://blogologue.com/skann-av-uttalelse-fra-helsevesenet.jp...

I can add that this was said in front of the kids, and I don't know what the oldest son got of the conversation, but that also is not a good thing. The kids mom has been offered to talk with my therapists before and has done so, and it could have been arranged this year as well.

So I'm starting to think that either the kids mom had a plan and is now caught in her own web and doesn't know exactly what to do, or she is a psychopath or something along those lines. I think that she all the way has had a wish and a plan to live in Mo i Rana, and has been working towards that.

As for myself these days, I'm doing OK. I'm no longer that suspicious of women and no longer see their flirting and attempts at seducation as something negative.

Now, finally I'd like to add that I think criminal acts, mental illness and so on are mostly private matters. The reason I'm mentioning them here is that it is relevant, because I want to have contact with my kids and ensure they are doing well and become good people. There is also a bit of revenge from my side in this, and that's because I've been very upset and angry about this situation for a long time, and the one thing that made the situation bearable was that I was going to get the kids mom for what she did - by telling it in public.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [05 Oct 21:44 Europe/Oslo]

More on seeing the kids

So, I talked with my oldest sons contact teacher last school year, about coming to visit my son at school, see how things are etc. I was under the impression that this was OK. On my last visits to see my kids, I've been talking to my oldest son about coming to visit his school and he has been excited about this.

However, now my son has gotten a new contact teacher, and I got an email from the school principal today that I couldn't come visit him after all, and they refererred to the verdict from the court.

Now I'm assuming the kids mom has dropped by with the verdict, and has actively worked to stop this visit, because she did the same when it came to me visiting my youngest son in kindergarden.

I really don't know what to say about this, except that I'm not shocked that this has happened.

I think it's worth mentioning that this week I started getting heavy pains due to what seems to be a tennis elbow, and this after I started getting treatment and exercises because of an accident last year. An accident I'm not sure was entirely an accident.

Now, this is not much in itself, but I think it's worth mentioning that the response from the school principal came one week after I sent them an email, and that the accident last year happened one week before the first time after the verdict that I was going to see the kids without the kids mom meddling in, with a supervisor.

Now this may all be coincidental, but maybe a year or two before I and the kids mom made the final break-up, her dad drove up to me one summer and said 7 and nothing else. He has also given me the impression that he knows well there is something called "affekt" in Norwegian law, where a crime has been committed under what one can call heavy emotional influence can get a lower prison sentence than one done with consideration first.

[Update, 21st of September]

OK, so I've asked the principal at this school, Bente Grønningen Marthinussen, if she could verify that it was in fact the kids mom that dropped by with the verdict, and if the kids mom gave her the entire document, or just the verdict itself. As the entire document contains sensitive information which can affect many people, I think that's a fair question.

The principal refuses to give an answer, and has several times referred to the initial document/email which says I can't visit my son at school. I guess she can do that, and I can blog about it.

Anyway, it's going to be difficult to tell the oldest kid that his mom has refused me visiting him at school, as that was something he was looking forward to.

The kids mom has stopped responding to written emails and messages entirely, and I'm not going to call her as I suspect she'd twist that call into something it wasn't, and I can't legally record it either.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [16 Sep 11:50 Europe/Oslo]

Dealing with DnB special engagement (Spesialengasjement) operations

So, because of illness my income has dwindled down the last couple of years, and I haven't quite kept pace with the downgoing income, I used some credit cards, and now have accrued a little bit of credit card debt.

Now I like to keep my commitments, so even though I don't have a lot of income today, I would like to maintain my debts. So I've asked the credit card issuer that I only pay the interest on this debt, until I'm into a better financial situation, but they have declined that offer, and want me to pay about double of that, each month.

This is even though I after deducting the rent for my flat, I have less money to spend than what the state limit for forced money collection is. So in other words, if I defaulted on the debt and let things just slide, I would ultimately have more money in my pocket than with this deal they're offering.

I asked for the name of the person who is responsible for what they're saying and offering, but they did not give a name, just said that the responsible department was special engagement (Spesialengasjement) operations.

Now this is a bit annoying by itself, but when I see that the state wants to collect double of the child support they used to, but don't have a right to, and I got a notice this week that my application to postpone the next student loan payments was rejected, it adds up. And next week I have a meeting with the state agency NAV, my doctor and so on about what happens next on my path to being back to work again. I can add that the student loan organization is also a state agency, and that they get information about my income and status from the other mentioned state agency, NAV.

Not to mention that I've started on medication for pains as well as exercises to train up my neck related to my accident last year, and the insurance company is declining to pay for these appointments with the chiropractor.

If you add all these up, it starts to suck as a lot of negative things are happening at once.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [31 Aug 11:02 Europe/Oslo]

In the belly of the Norwegian kafkaesque bureaucracy

So, I'm paying some money for child support for my kids, not because I want to, but because I'm forced to. These payments are deducted from my income automatically.

Now I see myself as a responsible man and do feel responsible for my kids, but paying more than I should, when I barely get to see my kids, doesn't seem, or feel, fair.

So I applied to get this child support reduced, but it was instead increased. It was increased, because I had some temporary income this summer from my company Nidelven IT, because I had to do some required-by-law accounting and tax-related work. Now I get my main income from the state, and I have to report work hours to the state. These work hours are then deducted from my payments. So if I get 3750 per week from the state and work 5 hours, that is reduced to 3250. I got about as much in payments from Nidelven IT these summer months as I lost in my regular income.

I made this clear on the application form to the state, that these payments from Nidelven IT were temporary and a compensation for the other lost income, but they managed to make it a regular, recurring income, and because of that increased my child support. I was left with the option of sending in a complaint which cost around 1000 NOK (~110 EUR), but I will not send in a complaint, I will rather send in a new application and make this blog post my complaint. You can talk about people nickle-and-diming you, but here it is the state, when I don't have a lot of income.

The case workers there were Erling Noste (office boss) and Eivor Merete Høgli (case worker).


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [26 Aug 02:58 Europe/Oslo]

Got a letter from the county governors office

So I was a trial to get to see my kids with supervision (partly to keep the kids mom at bay), and to get mental health professionals to review the kids mom, as I've seen quite a bit of negative behaviour from her, ranging from not signing an agreement about seeing the kids so that it wasn't legally binding, to manipulation and agressive acts.

I have it documented that we did agree on me seeing the kids 3 days every 2 weeks.

However, and this is my side of the story, after I rejected the kids mom when she still wanted to be in some sort of intimate relationship, it became difficult to see the kids.

So in this letter I got, which rejects my appeal on getting financial support to cover the kids moms court costs, there are a couple of things that don't seem right to me.

Because I've been sick, I'm now on a support plan from the state which doesn't give me much income, and because of that, it will be difficult for me to pay the court costs from the trial that was.

And because it will be difficult to cover the court costs, I might not get another change to go to court for some years, to get more time with the kids and another review of the kids mom.

In the trial that was, there were mental health professionals that reviewed the kids mom, and they found no narcissistic or sociopathic traits. And this was repeated in court when the judge asked the appointed mental health professionals, that this was the case. And this had been a subject before the trial. After discussing this online and with mental health professionals, my understanding is that it is unlikely that a person doesn't have at least one trait in either the sociopathic or narcissistic category. And I don't think they're incompetent, so it is likely that they lied.

So I'm now in a situation where I get to see my kids 4 hours every 6 weeks, and this is depressing and difficult. You can say what you want about a life with or without kids, but once you get attached to them it is heartbreaking to not be able to spend time with them. And because it is heartbreaking and depressing, it affects my well-being.

The letter states that I have and will have enough income for things like a place to live, food, necessities and this is true. But it also says that I'm already planning a new trial, and they can't put me in a position where I get myself in further debt. So basically, they won't cover my existing court costs because they assume that I will put myself in further debt with a new court case.

I find that as a bit of a strange argumentation, and the whole paragraph that states this convoluted.

Now, they also say in this letter that they understand that the situation can affect my mental health, and this is also true, but they have not taken into account that I am winding down on anti-psychotics, and that this medicine over a longer time perspective can have side effects such as diabetes and heart problems. So in fact, this whole situation is having a direct impact on my physical health.

I find it interesting that the letter also states that there wasn't found anything wrong with the kids moms ability to take care of the kids, when documentation about her lack of response to several emails regarding seeing the kids more and sharing the costs for my travels to see the kids were attached to the case.

If I put a cynical and negative look at what they're saying, they're basically saying that it doesn't matter if the kids mom screwed you over, she can take care of the kids. But not letting your kids see their other parent when they express that they want to see the other parent, and not cooperating around such a simple thing as costs that have arised from travelling to see the kids, when the law states that these costs should be shared between parents according to income, shows that the kids mom doesn't do what's best for the kids, and therefore is neglecting the kids!

It should be added that my lawyer has applied to get the court costs covered, and I think that was at the county govenors office as well, but I have not received any feedback regarding whether that was accepted or not. Which is strange.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [12 Aug 01:36 Europe/Oslo]

Insurance company Gjensidige, case worker Stein Rønning

So I've had a meeting with my old chiropractor regarding the fall I had on a bus last year, and she did find some stiffness in my neck. I have not been treated for neck issues earlier. I have a new appointment with the chiropractor and will get some documentation on the whole situtation.

Interestingly enough, I've told this to Stein Rønning at Gjensidige insurance company, but they are saying that they will only cover the immediate medical costs from the accident.

So I took at look at their home page, and took a screenshot. At the end there it says that "Our vision is to know our customer best and care the most". Does that mean that they care about their customer the bus company and their interests only? As a victim of an accident or something worse, am I a customer or an opponent?

Gjensidige about us screenshot

Oh I took a look at their Twitter account, and their header image is of a group of people known from the Norwegian series "Olsenbanden" (the Olsen gang) - a criminal gang that does various things to get money. I'm not sure what message they're trying to convey with that?

Gjensidige Twitter header the Olsen gang

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [11 Aug 12:06 Europe/Oslo]

Fusilli, mushroom (cremini), garlic

So, in my quest to find cheap and nutritious food, I did some research and created a new dish today. It consists of Fusilli durum wheat pasta, brown italian mushroom aka. cremini/champignon (or in Norwegian, sjampinjong) and garlic.

Now, from what I've gathered on the net, corn products contain a lot of protein, but not a lot of the amino acid Lysein. And there's a lot of Lysein in said mushroom.

I'd say that garlic is becoming a staple food in my kitchen, as it it spicy and strong raw or sweeter but still tasty when cooked. I can add it to just about any dish and it works.

So, what I do is peel the garlic, divide it up in reasonably sized pieces for faster cooking and fry that and the mushroom first, in olive oil. Now when I say fry, I mean having it on an electrical stove on a 2 of 6 setting until the garlic is easily dividable and soft.

I think food is better if you spend some more time on it, and using a relatively low heat setting and starting the cooking an hour or two before eating is a good thing.

So, after the garlic and mushrooms have been fried, I pour them over into a bowl, and then boil the Fusilli until its done. Then I pour the vegetables back into the pot, let it heat a bit and pour it back into the bowl.

So, half a garlic, about 100 grams of mushroom and 120 grams of Fusilli makes this dish, and I think it tastes nice.

Picture of Fusilli with mushroom and garlic in a bowl

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Food (Atom feed)] [08 Aug 14:59 Europe/Oslo]

Fixing up an old blog, transparent PNG embedded in Python code

So I've been fixing up on my blog lately, adding some iframe and javascript code, as well as backend code, to make it play my playlist from SoundCloud automatically.

This blog is running on Zope 2, and the blog software was written by me.. it's not been maintained well though, so I've been fixing up some minor things here and there.

One of the things I needed to fix was that on the search page, some images were referenced that for some reason wasn't approved by the weblog layer, and raised old-style HTTP authentication boxes.

So I figured I'd fix this in an easy and quick way. I created a new image in The GIMP, 1x1 transparent, and saved it as a PNG with as little metadata as possible and level 9 compression.

Looking at the file afterwards in Python, it looks like this:

-rwxrwx---+ 1 Morphex None 117 aug 2 14:26 1x1_transparent.png
-rwxrwx---+ 1 Morphex None 68 aug 2 14:36 1x1_transparent2.png

Morphex@Morphex-PC /cygdrive/C/Users/Morphex.Morphex-PC/Documents
$ python
Python 2.7.10 (default, Jun 1 2015, 18:17:45)
[GCC 4.9.2] on cygwin
Type "help", "copyright", "credits" or "license" for more information.
>>> f=open('1x1_transparent2.png')
>>> f.read()
'\x89PNG\r\n\x1a\n\x00\x00\x00\rIHDR\x00\x00\x00\x01\x00\x00\x00\x01\x08\x06\x00\x00\x00\x1f\x15\xc4<MY BLOG LAYOUT LINE BREAK>
\x89\x00\x00\x00\x0bIDAT\x08\xd7c`\x00\x02\x00\x00\x05\x00\x01\xe2&\x05\x9b\x00\x00\x00\x00IEND\xaeB`\x82'
>>>

I updated the IssueDealerWeblog code to return this:

    security.declarePublic('image')
    def image(self, id=None, REQUEST=None, RESPONSE=None):
        """Returns an image related to the published issue."""
        result = self.catalog_search(id=self.get_published_ids(),
                                        get_local_image_ids=id,
                                        meta_type='Issue')
        if result:
            return base.base.image.im_func(self, id=id, REQUEST=REQUEST, RESPONSE=RESPONSE)
        else:
            RESPONSE.setHeader('content-type', 'image/png')
            RESPONSE.setBody('\x89PNG\r\n\x1a\n\x00\x00\x00\rIHDR\x00\x00\x00\x01\x00\x00\x00\x01\x08\x06\x00\x00\x00\x1f\x15\xc4<MY BLOG LAYOUT LINE BREAK>
\x89\x00\x00\x00\x0bIDAT\x08\xd7c`\x00\x02\x00\x00\x05\x00\x01\xe2&\x05\x9b\x00\x00\x00\x00IEND\xaeB`\x82', lock=True)
            return

And now the search page returns without raising any authentication boxes. It's not the most purist way to just fail silently like this, but a quick fix that helps with the appearance and user-friendliness for a regular user.

[Edit: Adding paragraph..] And in case you're wondering, that image binary is released to the public domain, so you can use the Python string here anywhere. Or download the image No description available.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Python and web (Atom feed)] [02 Aug 14:38 Europe/Oslo]

A day in the life of..

So, life has been progressing, in a positive direction. I've blogged about being ill and different troubles, but now it looks like things have stabilized and I'm planning more for the future.

I've been reflecting the last couple of days, and although I've learned a lot in life, I also feel short-changed on the positive experiences, having lived with a diagnosis for psychosis and an anxiety disorder since 2010, but having suffered for many years before that.

So I decided some time ago that I should work to put more things into my positive experiences bag, and that also means taking care of my body (eating well, exercising) as well as doing things that feel good.

For some years now I've been changing my diet, starting with eating more fruits and vegetables. It has taken a couple of years of change and experimenting, and now I'm at a place where I enjoy eating a bowl of cooked kidney beans and white rice, along with about half a fried garlic.

Now, since I became acutely ill in 2009, I tried to keep things together and worked a bit in my own company, Nidelven IT. But things slowly dwindeled down there, and in 2013 I reached the end of the line with regard to money, and had to go ~100% unemployed. I stretched out the money and earned a lot less than before I got sick, but it was the end of the line.

Now though, after being unemployed for a while and also being on sick leave from that, I'm on the minimum support plan from the state, which doesn't give me a lot of money to work with, and I have to find ways of saving money and being frugal. I'm not sure, but I think if I had gone 100% sick from the day I became ill, I would have been in a better position now economically, so I do feel short-changed by the state for trying to make the best of things.

Anyway, as I've been changing my eating habits and getting better from my illness, I feel that eating healthy is nice, and I feel it as well, that the mood is more stable and see that my body is shedding some weight.

I've been following Paul McCartney on Twitter, and he's an advocate for Meat Free Monday, which has a website with vegetarian food.

Now I'm not going to jump into it and go fully vegan, but I think that it is generally a good idea, because less animals will be bred and kept for food, which is good for animal welfare, and more food will be available as it takes a lot of feed to generate 1 KG of meat for example.

So I experimented a bit, and found that about 200 grams of cooked kidney beans and 150 grams of cooked white rice as well as some fried garlic, was a good combination. What I like about this meal in particular is that it leaves me full, but not sluggish. I feel good after eating a meal like that.

Here are some soaked, but uncooked kidney beans:

Soaked kidney beans

I cook them for about an hour, and the water is boiling, to make sure that a toxin that can make you unwell is destroyed by cooking at high temperature.

After boiling, I take off the lid and continue at a low temperature, until most of the water has vaporized. I bag these kidney beans about 200 grams in each bag and put them in the freezer, and I like the idea that as much nutrients as possible go along with it (and aren't washed out in the cooking water), and it's easier to fill the bags with a little bit of water each that way.

I'm not a nutritional expert, but from what I gather, the protein combination from the beans and the rice combine well, to make a complete essential protein source. Which is important, as I don't want the strength exercise to go to waste and need protein. And it makes it a real alternative to for example meat.

I've got a whole salmon thawing in the refrigerator as well, and I'll be posting some pics and the recipe for that later today, it's my own recipe and I think it works quite well. :)

[Edit: Later the same day..] The salmon has thawed enough that I could put it in the pan in pieces:

Salmon pieces in pan

I bought some salmon for about 5 $ per kilo a while ago, which is cheap, and it's been lying around in the freezer. I'm not that good at creating filets yet, so I'll just let them simmer long enough that I can pluck all the edible parts off. I put a dash of oil in the bottom of the pan, and I'm hoping there will be some run-off as well which I can put in the soup.

Now this is farmed salmon, salmon that has been raised in a small pen out in the sea. As far as animal ethics go, the fish does have some intelligence and feelings, so I'm not sure how much of a life it is swimming around in a small enclosure and being fed pellets. They can't tell us.

I like fishing, but I think that's fairly morally balanced as the fish I catch is going after my lure. If that lure had been a real fish, a big fish would've tried to eat a much smaller fish, but instead it ends up being my dinner. Which is ironic, but fair. I also expedite the fish I catch as soon as I can, with a quick stab and twist in the skull to put an end to the suffering. The way fish eat each other is fairly gruesome if you think about it, they swallow something alive and then it suffocates in their stomach.

[Edit: Even later in the day..] Alright. So I started making the soup itself, first I started off with a litre of almost skimmed milk and two litres of water:

Milk in pot in pan

And after that, I added a dash of olive oil as well as some corn starch (for thickness), and fish bouillon:

Fish bouillon cube in hand

Two whole garlic, chopped in pieces:

Garlic pieces on plate

I find it useful to keep all pieces fairly small, so that they take less time to cook.

Now this time I decided to go for some pre-cut vegetables, and over time I've grown fond of having frozen vegetables in the freezer. It doesn't spoil, and cooking time doesn't matter much, they thaw fairly quick:

Frozen vegetable mix bag

A nice mix of potatoes, carrot, celery and I think the last component was leek.

The salmon was cooked at low heat in some oil, and ended up in a tower on a plate, plucked once. Now I could see some fish bones left, so I'm going to pluck it another time when it goes into the caserole.

Salmon pieces plucked on a plate

The whole fish was 1099 grams, and I guess after plucking it, removing bones, most of the head etc. I was left with 900-950 grams of fish and skin, and that ended up being around half of what a similar weight in raw form would cost in the store.

My oh my. I almost forgot an ingredient that makes a big difference, green olives with red peppers!

Green olives with red peppers in salt brine glass

I think these make a big difference for the taste, also if they simmer in a warm soup for maybe an hour they become quite easy to chew. This is about 200 grams of that stuff.

So to sum up the ingredients:

  • 1 litre of almost skimmed milk
  • 2 litres of water
  • 4 cubes of fish bullion
  • Appropriate amount of corn starch
  • A dash of olive oil
  • 0.8 - 1 KG salmon
  • 2 whole garlic
  • 800 grams vegetable mix
  • 200 grams red pepper stuffed olives


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [19 Jul 06:52 Europe/Oslo]

All these people I have to deal with..

So I was in an accident towards the end of last year where I got a bad cut in the back of my head:

https://www.instagram.com/p/9Bd3XCKKuX/?taken-by=morphexx

There have been some different trouble since then with pain and nowadays the neck feels a bit stiff and there can be some pain here and there.

I've had a dialogue with the insurance company Gjensidige since the accident, and they keep repeating that they have closed the case, and I've also asked them to pay for a 675 NOK (~100 EUR) exam to see if I need some treatment for the neck, but they refuse to pay for it.

Oh and the case worker there is Stein Rønning.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [21 Jun 07:20 Europe/Oslo]

Dealing with the Norwegian wellfare state

So, since I've been sick for a while, I'm [edit: removed not] on a minimum economical support plan called AAP, or "work clearance money" from the Norwegian wellfare system, NAV. Which I guess is basically money you get while your health and work ability is being figured out.

I got a bit of a nasty surprise the other day though; there had been a mention of a meeting close to the summer, but after I asked about my case worker (Elisabeth Nossum) about getting AAP for the rest of the year because I need to update my tax rate, she replied that we could discuss that in "the meeting" in my doctors office on this coming Friday.

I hadn't gotten any notice of this meeting, and when I asked about when this meeting invitation had been sent, my case worker replied that there was some "technical issue" so that meeting invitation had not been sent out.

I followed up with an email to her superior, Per Olav Gundersen asking about this meeting invitation, but he was "too busy" to deal with it.

I really don't like this, because if the meeting had gone along, it could've looked like I was skipping it, and decisions could also have been made "over my head". Thus making me less credible towards my doctor, and the relationship to him is important for how my life is.

My doctor has also been asking me about anti-depressants, but what I need is to rest, eat healthy food and exercise. When I was psychotic I did agree to anti-psychotics because I was psychotic and had many unpleasant symptoms, but I really don't want to stuff more pills in my face and get a new dependency which I will have to gradually wean off, when I'm working well physically and mentally - I just need a period of rest before I start the next round of weaning off the anti-psychotics.

So, basically Elisabeth Nossum from NAV could've made me look bad in my doctors eyes, and she could also have gotten a reason to stop my AAP support, which would've forced me to do some paperwork and would've made my economical situation unpredictable. I really think this is unacceptable, and it doesn't look like NAV is going to explain their actions.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [07 Jun 13:48 Europe/Oslo]

An update on seeing my kids, court costs etc.

So, the kids mom went to the authorities a while ago, to get her court expenses covered, as she won the case. I didn't appeal because I got something I hadn't had before, a legally binding agreement to see my kids on a regular basis.

Anyway, out of nowhere the kids mom went to the authorities to get her court expenses covered, and I opened a letter just now detailing the verdict in this claim. Since I've been psychotic, my business has been slowly winding down etc. - I haven't had the income that I used to have, and today I get a minimum rate economical support from the state.

Anyway, the kids mom had her court expenses, and now I have to pay 500 NOK per month, on a 80000 NOK debt with a 12% annual interest. I see that the highest interest rate for a savings account in Norway is 3%, so basically the kids mom is going to get a decent return on investment maybe the coming years, as I don't see myself working a lot for the time to come.

So from being an emotionally agonizing period where I didn't get to see my kids on a regular basis, I now get to see my kids, but I also have economical pressure on me and a depressing growing debt.

I think this whole thing has been very difficult, and it has sucked a lot of energy and time from me, in an already difficult situation. I found out something interesting though, a week before my last visit to the kids, I woke up with a foggy vision and saw rainbows around light sources, and from what I've googled on the net, it looks like it could be from an allergic reaction. Wind the clock back some months, and I also had a very nasty accident on the bus which split open the skin on the back of my head, a week before seeing my kids.

So I think that I haven't only been played by the kids mom, I think others may have contributed as well, and that in a period where I've been treated (going to therapy, taking medication) for psychosis and an anxiety disorder.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [04 Jun 04:42 Europe/Oslo]

Call from the police

So a short while ago, I got a call from the police, because the kids mom had contacted them, as she found my blogging "uncomfortable" (my wording).

I told the police that what I'd blogged about the court case, seeing my kids, etc. was true and correct, and that almost all of what I blogged could be documented.

But, I'm going to take a pause from blogging about seeing my kids, the court case and so on, until I've talked to my lawyer about it, thought about it, talked some more to the police and seeing if anything comes from the kids mom and her lawyer.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [10 May 14:50 Europe/Oslo]

More on seeing the kids

So, yesterday I got a unpleasant surprise when I opened a letter at my mom's place, as the kids mom had gone to the authorities, to force me to pay for her expenses on the court case we were in regarding the kids.

So I'll have to go through a process documenting my income, expenses and belongings so that her claim can be fulfilled.

My understanding from my lawyer was that expenses regarding the trial would go via him, and we've sought to cover both my expenses and the kids mom's expenses from the state.

As far as I know, the kids mom is well off financially, with an above average income and millions of kroner (NOK) in fortune.

Since the summer 2013 I've had significant expenses for seeing the kids, and the law is that these expenses should be divided between the parents, according to income. I don't have much income, as I've been sick for a long period of time.

Expenses for me seeing the kids was something the kids mom and her lawyer agreed to find a deal on, after the day in court, after the judge had left the room. I think that since the day in court, I have not heard or seen one constructive thing regarding expenses for me seeing the kids.

So I think this shows a couple of things. Either my lawyer has made a mistake, or the kids mom is stepping over a line. I wouldn't be surprised if the kids mom did step over a line, as she has been been threatening, harassing and assaulting in the past.

To make things more interesting, I thought my last visit with the kids went well, and asked the supervisor from the state if she saw any reason why the kids mom should be present in the house, on a text message after the visit. She has responded to my earlier SMS messages, but this time she did not give any reply and that's been almost 2 weeks now.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [21 Apr 11:50 Europe/Oslo]

Struggling in the Norwegian welfare state

So it's been a while since I got severely ill, and since then I've struggled to make things and ends meet. I thought things were getting good and was looking forward to the spring and summer, but this Easter an old substitute tooth loosened and took with it some of the foundation, and it feels like the foundation is cracked as well.

The cracking has me a bit worried, as I don't know if it can cause sores or infections (I talked briefly with some professionals today).

Anyway, since I've been sick, medicated and everything for a while, I'm not getting a lot of money from the state to get by, and in addition to that, they want me to pay child support for my kids, even though I only get to see them 4 hours every 6 weeks, and are forcing me to pay money now.

I stopped by the state service today (NAV) to get some help sorting out financing fixing the tooth, and even though I had things written down, things still seemed difficult for the clerk helping me out, so I got tired of it and basically asked for a written response to my written request and documentation. I later sent an email with price quotes.

It feels like some sick joke, that I have to make by with little income and then struggle when I get a problem with my teeth that could lead to complications. In addition to that I'm working on getting off the medication (but have paused that for now because of all this) and I don't get to see my kids.

How much shit is a person supposed to take? I've paid my taxes.

[Later same day..] Now I went to check on my clothes in the dryer, and the dryer was off and the clothes were dry. I heard it starting up earlier..

It seems many small things are not going my way these last couple of weeks.

[Later same day..] Clothes were NOT dry.

[Even later same day..] I emptied the water container before starting it up, and it is almost brand new. I'm not sure if it is a failure, some clown having fun, some clown doing something he or she shouldn't be doing or somebody asking someone to do something.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [31 Mar 18:22 Europe/Oslo]

More on seeing the kids

So, I got to see my kids this 27th of February, following the visit the kids every 6th week agreement laid down by the court.

After seeing the kids, the state supervisor said that the kids mom wanted some changes in the schedule, to accomodate holidays I presume. To be on the safe side, I've contacted my lawyer about it and I'm waiting for a response there.

But it is now about 2 months since I contacted the kids mom via email, as I want to see the kids more, and the oldest kid has expressed that he wants me to visit more often. This last time I visited the kids, they both said that they wanted me to visit in kindergarten / school as well.

So the kids mom doesn't want to communicate to me on email about seeing the kids, but she can communicate via others to get changes in the schedule for me seeing the kids.

That's interesting enough, but this morning I was thinking about the trial again, and the report from the court-appointed mental health specialists. The report was very favourable towards the kids mom, and even the people from kindergarten said that me being there visiting the kids was awkward and inappropriate.

I thought the visits to the kids kindergarten went OK, but I guess I might seem a bit lethargic due to the medications I was on. I thought one of the guys there who showed me around seemed very nervous and anxious, I don't know what the reason for that was.

But, interestingly enough, a (I guess close) friend of the kids mom works in the kindergarten, her name is Elisabeth Bjørnådal and the kindergarten is Mjølan barnehage. It might be that she has coloured the perception of me there, or that someone has pulled some strings to get the kindergarten to say what they did to the court appointed mental health people.

In the break-up period with the kids mom, I remember though that the kids mom said something along the lines of me just using her to have kids to this Elisabeth. On the other hand, for example my mom has said to me that she thought that I was just sad about the break-up etc. - same as the mom of the kids mom said to the court appointed mental health professionals.

So it seems that there may be different perceptions of me in this whole thing, and I'm not sure who's mostly responsible for that but there is an obvious person or group of persons that could have something to do with it.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [16 Mar 05:09 Europe/Oslo]

More on seeing the kids

So I went to trial last summer, to get to see more of the kids.

One of the things the kids mom has been on about, is that I've been mentally ill (which is true), but so much that I couldn't be alone with the kids, or rather that she had to be there whenever I was to be with the kids.

The kids mom been playing that card for a long time, and the last time I saw the kids, she had to meddle about something that I could have sorted out with my oldest son myself, so in my opinion she's using the kids to keep some contact with me, what the motivation for that contact is, I don't know, but obvious reasons could be to establish a relationship, even though I don't want to have anything to do with her, in any way.

And I've made that perfectly clear, many times.

Anyway, when I went to trial, I remember the kids moms lawyer saying something along the lines of documentation about my mental health from my therapist hadn't been submitted to the court.

In my email records I can see that a document regarding my mental health had been sent to the kids mom and her lawyer towards the end of 2013, and that document is here:

http://blogologue.com/skann-av-uttalelse-fra-helsevesenet.jp...

It says clearly that nothing in their treatment of me has given them reason to contact other authorities, regarding me and my kids. And therapists are bound by law to give notice if they discover something of concern.

I sent an email to the current lawyer of the kids mom, Anne Fladvad working at Advokathuset Helgeland, and will see what she has to say about this.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [12 Feb 05:07 Europe/Oslo]

Talking about my music on the internet (freak.no forum)

So, I've been on different forums talking about my music, and I'm having some issues on the freak.no music forum.

Long story short, I think a lot of the feedback on the forum has been laced with unecessary negative remarks, and I've talked up against that.

So it seems that if other posters on the forum talk shit in threads I start, the threads get dropped. Which seems unfair.

There is also a very loose rule in the forum which says that the admins can do whatever they want, which is a bad rule as it gives too much power to the administrators and as such, is of course abused or misused.

Here's the discussion I had privately with one of the admins:

http://blogologue.com/dialog_med_administrator_freak.no.pdf

And yes he/she did OK that I posted this to my blog.

And the last thread I started which got deleted:

http://blogologue.com/feedback_self_made_and_produced_demo.p...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [07 Feb 16:21 Europe/Oslo]

Failure to communicate and collaborate (seeing more of the kids)

So, I've blogged now and then about my issues seeing the kids, and the kids mom that isn't cooperating.

Two weeks ago today, I sent an email to the kids mom, as well as the family mediation unit where she lives about seeing the kids more often, but neither the kids mom or the unit has replied.

The email I sent the kids mom about seeing the kids more is here:

http://blogologue.com/epost_til_mor.png

The email I sent to the family unit in Mo i Rana (commune) is here:

http://blogologue.com/epost_til_justin.png

I think it's a bad thing that neither the mom nor the family unit are able to communicate when I want to setup something to see the kids more often.

Interestingly, I sent an email to the kids mom on the 19th of January, to which she replied on the 23rd of January:

http://blogologue.com/epost_til_mor_hvordan_ungene_har_det.p...

Telling me a little bit about how the kids are doing. So she is reading email.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [02 Feb 17:32 Europe/Oslo]

Getting to see my kids on a regular basis

So, I've gotten to see my kids a couple of times now, and that's nice.

It's good to have a steady and predictable schedule for seeing them, and the supervisor that's there from the state is a good person to have around, as I have issues being alone with the kids mom.

So I get to see my kids 4 hours every six weeks now, and although I enjoy being with the kids and being there for them, every time I get back home it is a bit sad to know that it'll be 6 weeks until I see them again. I don't know how they feel about it after I leave, but I know they want me to be there more often.

I decided a couple of weeks ago to go another round in the court to get full custody of the kids, as I have doubts about how the kids are doing and how they'll turn out when they're older. The previous trial was also a bit poorly prepared from our (me and my lawyer's) side, so I thought it all was a bit unfair and the wrong things were considered and put weight on. And I'm sceptical about the report from the court appointed mental health professionals which concluded that the kids mom had no narcissistic or sociopathic traits (too good to be true for a lot of, if not most, people).

The trial was in June 2015 and the verdict said the first appointment for seeing the kids was the 1. of August, but that fell through, as did the next appointment. I've blogged about that earlier: http://blogologue.com/blog_entry?id=1441623208X02

It's not peaches going another round in court though, as certain things are stacked against me. For example the status quo principle that the situation for the kids should not be changed is important, so even though the sum of the other parts are in my favour, it might go the other way anyway.

I've thought a bit about this, and when the first kid was born I became psychotic, and was under treatment and heavily medicated when me and the kids mom split up in the start of 2013. So I had enough to deal with at that time, and was probably depressed and tired after the psychotic episode as well as the break-up, and wasn't able to muster going to trial. I also couldn't be alone with the kids mom, so seeing them became difficult.

So I guess it's a wait and see thing, to establish a good relationship with the kids again and then go another round in court.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [19 Jan 11:09 Europe/Oslo]

Halfway there..

So, I reached a bit of a milestone. Because of mental illness I've had to take some heavy-duty medicine for some time, and at the most I took 800 mg of Seroquel per day.

Today I'm down on 400 mg per day, which is half of that, and I can say I'm quite happy about that. The medicine has short- and long-term side-effects, and on a very long term view, side-effects can also include diabetes and heart disease.

I'm glad that there has been treatment available for my issues, and I can say that today I'm feeling much better than I did 5-10-15-20 years ago.

Here's to many good years to come. 🍷 🍷

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [14 Sep 08:29 Europe/Oslo]

Dealing with the Norwegian state child-care system, Rana commune and a bad mom

So, I've been struggling to get more time with my kids, and went to trial in June to get something in place.

The judge ordered that I visit the kids every 6th week, with supervision from the commune/state.

Both I and the kids mom wanted supervision, my main motivation for supervision has been, and is, actions that the kids mom has chosen to do, and still chooses to do.

So, long story short, the state department called BUF was supposed to setup supervision for the visits, but so far they have failed to do so. Before the trial I also seldomly got to visit the kids, and then a person from Rana commune was there to supervise.

The trial ended up in a verdict, and the verdict was legally in effect on the 1st of August, but the BUF state department was unable to provide supervision, and is also unable to provide supervision now the 12th of September.

Over a couple of weeks now I've tried to get Rana commune to provide a person that can supervise on the 12th of September, but they are unable to do so. They called me this morning and only wanted to give a verbal message that they could not provide someone. When I pressed on for a written message saying the same, they refused to provide that.

So today I sent the kids mom an email asking if we could be in a public place on Saturday for a couple of hours, but she refused to cooperate on that as well. So the state isn't doing what it should, the commune isn't doing what it could, and the kids mom isn't cooperating. I'd like to add that I emailed the kids mom on the 20th of August regarding getting Rana commune to provide supervision on the 12th of September.

I think that pretty much sums up the situtation, but would like to add that sharing confidential and/or untrue information has many and severe consequences.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [07 Sep 12:53 Europe/Oslo]

More on experiencing the Norwegian child-care system

So, I was in a meeting with my lawyer today, and got the explanation that after a verdict with a set number of time with my kids, the mom or rather the primary caretaker can deny anything else.

Which means that the mom of the kids can deny me visiting the kids in the kindergarten and at school, even though that has worked OK in the past.

I think I've blogged enough about this, but would like to add that one of the reasons the trial went as it did, was that the verdict put spoken testimony above an actual document as to whether or not I was cooperating regarding opening a bank account for the smallest kid. I also had to correct my own lawyer in the courtroom regarding this..

A link to a copy of that document is here:

http://blogologue.com/epost_siste_mekling.png

And it clearly shows that I sent an email with a cooperative attitude after the last meditation, but never got any replies to that email and can't see that I've gotten any other emails after that email in that regard either.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [18 Aug 21:40 Europe/Oslo]

Experiencing the Norwegian child-care system

So, a couple of months ago I went to trial, partly because I haven't gotten to see a lot of my kids the last couple of years.

Although the trial was a bit of a dissapointment for different reasons, the result seemed to be OK because I got to see my kids every 6th weekend, an improvement from the current situtation and a predictable schedule.

When I visited my kids before the trial, I also visited the kids in the kindergarten and that was an OK experience.

However, it seems that as a result of the trial, the kids mom has come in the position that she can deny me visiting the kids in the kindergarten and at school. Which is strange, because visiting them earlier went OK, and neither the kids mom or her lawyer want to comment further on it.

I have a meeting with my lawyer next week about all of this, so it should be interesting to see what he says about it.

I've heard some talk about mothers having a very strong position in Norway when it comes to who gets care etc. but I'm not sure that's the case, so far things have been very difficult so we'll see what happens next.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [13 Aug 07:46 Europe/Oslo]

Developing my XML project in C

So, these last couple of months I've been dabbling with C and XML, to get to know C better. Out of all of this there might also come a nice XML parser and writer that will be freely available for anyone to use.

I wish I learned more C earlier, as a lot of things related to IT have fallen into place now that I've been forced to work on low-level stuff.

There have been quite a number of posts to comp.lang.c, and lots of useful information has been exchanged back and forth.

Anyway, the project is here:

https://github.com/morphex/smash_xml

I guess the bulk of the main code and tests are now around 25KB, which is quite a bit of code. One of the next steps is to create the main parsing loop, which will break down the XML file into its internal C representation. There will also have to be some data types created so that things work well.

One of the more interesting points that have come up is whether to use iteration or recursion when working with the internal representation.

In C, when you do a function call, things are pushed onto something called the stack. And with recursion, more and more things get pushed onto the stack, and if the recursion is deep enough, the stack is exhausted with unpredictable results.

So I think I'm opting for an iterative design in the C code, and using little if any recursion. I'm sure that's going to tick some people off, but having predictable and intelligible results when running the code is important for this project, because one can work with malicious input data.

Right now it feels like I'm past the most "painful" parts of learning C, and look forward to learning and writing more in the time to come.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [C & XML (Atom feed)] [13 Jul 00:51 Europe/Oslo]

C & XML

These last couple of months I've been learning a bit of Assembler and C programming, as these days I have the time available. I've always found Python and other high-level languages fast enough for what I needed to do, but I've always wondered a bit about C and Assembler.

What I've learned so far is that the computer is in fact a very large calculator, and pretty much everything that happens is that instructions are called (for example adding two numbers), and that numbers are moved around in memory, disk, peripherals etc. I've found it useful to learn about Assembler and C because it gives me a more detailed and correct view of how things work in computing.

With my programming and system administration background, I found it easy to dive into C and Assembler, and I also appreciate a lot more what for example Python does as a high-level programming language.

I've been looking for some gig or project to create a C and Assembler project for, and what I've landed on so far is that I want to create an XML parser. An XML parser that validates the Unicode used, as well as insures that the document is "well formed". I haven't gotten that far yet, but I've pretty much decided that the parser should (for now at least) be restricted to an UTF-32-LE encoding, and that whenever I work with pointers the rule is to initialize to null when they are created as well as after free() has been called.

I think this is good fun and I do it whenever I have the time and energy, here's the code so far:

#include <stdlib.h>
#include <stdio.h>

int main() {
  char *buffer = NULL;
  int read = 0;
  buffer = malloc(1024*sizeof(char));
  FILE *file = NULL;
  file = fopen("test.xml.2", "rb+");
  read = fread(buffer, sizeof(char), 1024, file);
  if ((char)buffer[0] == (char)0xFF && (char)buffer[1] == (char)0xFE &&
      (char)buffer[2] == (char)0x00 && (char)buffer[3] == (char)0x00) {
    // We have a UTF-32-LE Byte Order Mark                                       
    printf("BOM found\n");
  } else {
    printf("BOM not found, %x\n", buffer[0]);
    exit(1);
  }
  printf("%i\n", read);
  fwrite(buffer, read, 1, stdout);
  printf("\n");
  free(buffer); buffer = NULL;
  return 0;
}


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [09 May 11:44 Europe/Oslo]

A small victory

So, it's been a while since I blogged about my mental health, and I thought I'd do that today. Some years ago I had a major crash (psychosis), and after some months I was put on Seroquel, and over a period upped the dose to a top of 800 mg.

Together with the psychologists and psychiatrists and lately my doctor I've been reducing the amount of medicine, and today I'm on 450 mg a day and it feels OK.

I've seen some advocating for medicine-free treatment, but from my experience, the medicine has helped. That and going to therapy has helped me a lot, and today I feel better, smarter and stronger than what I did before the crash.

Now the medication isn't perfect, it has side effects as most medicines do, but I can say today that I'm glad medications were an option.

Psychosis can happen to anyone. There's a lot of stress and pressure in society, there is a lot of (heavy) things to think about, life is a mystery, and my impression is that mental health issues is rather something that counts towards the patients' intelligence than against it.

Some can become psychotic from physical trauma, some can develop it over time for various reasons, some can be slipped a pill - many different things can happen that causes psychosis and severe mental illness has been documented for a long time in history.

So it's good that there is a way to deal with these issues, the treatment isn't perfect but it is a lot better than the alternative, maybe going through a kind of hell for an entire life.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [29 Apr 17:18 Europe/Oslo]

An alternative to SoundCloud, MixCloud and similar services

I'm a software developer, that has pretty much loved music my entire life, and I've at times listened to music almost all my waking hours.

I'm now in the middle of my thirties, and these last couple of years I've also been playing the guitar, singing and doing some piano and drumming as well.

Now, to me it seems natural that one learns to play instruments, by playing songs one has grown up with and know, it's a natural place to start. So for some time I created simple cover versions of songs, and uploaded them to SoundCloud.

Around this last Christmas (...) I got a notice from SoundCloud that my account had "two strikes" with a dire warning of my account being "terminated", where they had taken down my track "Summer (original by Calvin Harris) Simple Mic". Now it is funny that I get a notice like that on the 1st day of Christmas (25th of December). Another funny thing is that I asked to get a copy of my track, but they denied that request and said that

"This was reported to us by an anti-piracy agency on behalf of Sony. We won't be able to reinstate this, not even privately, unless you have permission from Sony to have it on SoundCloud."

Now, luckily I had a copy of the track on my computer, but it would have been a bit more sticky situtation if I didn't. Now this track is 01:19 long, that is just under 80 seconds and recorded on a simple microphone, but they still saw it necessary to take it down. If it was because I made a remark somewhere that you could just put that snippet on repeat and there you had pretty much the entire song I don't know.

Anyway, because of this, I got somewhat stressed and decided to move my cover songs to MixCloud, because there you can tag the artist and the song in uploaded tracks, and the artists (and MixCloud) get some revenue, and that seemed like the best thing I could do.

However, I recently reviewed the terms on the MixCloud site, and it basically says that they can do whatever they want with what I upload, forever. This wasn't what I expected; what I expected was that I could put things up there as a temporary solution, and take things down if necessary, or take things down if something I create has potential to make money. Now, I guess I could leave everything I have up there as the recordings aren't high quality, but it would be nice to have a reasonable amount of control of what I've created.

So my expectations of MixCloud and what is in their terms of service didn't match up, and I sent an email to MixCloud asking about this, but the reply I got was

"For licensing reasons we don't host individual tracks (even if it's your own track), so unfortunately we've had to disable your single track upload."

Which wasn't close to what I emailed them about

"
Expected Behaviour
------------------------
My impression of the site was that one could upload things, and take them down and that was pretty much it, you and the original content owners got a cut through radio-style fees.


Actual Behaviour
------------------------
However, I've read the terms you have, and found that for example having others create derivates, that I'm liable for being in the middle, that you can use my content perpetually etc. is not something I expected.
"

So now I'm in a situation where I have created content which I'm unsure about who has the rights to do what with, and I also can't continue doing podcasts and cover songs because I don't have a place to share these things.

Does anyone know of alternatives to these services that work like I want them to? Comments or emails to morphex@gmail.com are much appreciated.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [12 Apr 10:08 Europe/Oslo]

An updated version of the Issue Dealer, building Zope 2.13.22

It's been a while since I did anything on Zope 2, and these last couple of months some bugs on the weblog publisher on blogologue.com have been bugging me.

So I decided I should get that fixed, and also get the IssueDealer updated to work with the latest stable version of Zope 2.

It has been some days of fixing things back and forth to get things working, but now I have an updated version of the IssueDealer, as well as a procedure for building the latest and greatest Zope 2.

I've been quite out of touch with what has been going on in the Zope, Plone and Python world lately, and it took me quite some effort to get things working, from getting Zope from GitHub, getting the right dependencies in etc. One thing I've noticed is that pypi.python.org is using a common name of www.python.org - which forced me to make a shell script to aid in the process of setting up Zope. This is sloppy at best, as it forces users to skip SSL verification.

But, enough of that, here's the hands on procedure for getting Zope 2 installed on a Debian Linux box. Beforehand, I think it's necessary to install the build-essential package as well as git, in other words:

sudo apt-get install build-essential git

I'm not sure what the procedure is for Fedora/Red Hat, SuSe etc. is but it should be easy enough to figure out.

OK. We'll install Python and Zope in a directory called

/home/morphex/zope_blogologue.com

First thing we do is get Python 2.7.9 installed, which is done with

mkdir zope_blogologue.com
chmod o-rwx zope_blogologue.com # So other users can't read the database etc.
cd zope_blogologue.com
mkdir tmp
cd tmp
wget https://www.python.org/ftp/python/2.7.9/Python-2.7.9.tgz
tar xfz Python-2.7.9.tgz
cd Python-2.7.9/
./configure --prefix=/home/morphex/zope_blogologue.com
make install
cd /home/morphex/zope_blogologue.com/
git clone https://github.com/zopefoundation/Zope zope
cd zope
git checkout 2.13.22
wget --no-check-certificate https://raw.githubusercontent.com/morphex/IssueDealer/master...
chmod +x bootstrap.sh
./bootstrap.sh ~/zope_blogologue.com/bin/

Now, edit the buildout.cfg file, so that the [zopepy] and [wsgi] sections contains the line

    Products.IssueDealer==0.9.140

like so, maybe using the command "nano buildout.cfg":

[...]
[zopepy]
recipe = zc.recipe.egg
eggs = Zope2
    Products.IssueDealer==0.9.140
interpreter = zopepy
scripts = zopepy
[...]
[wsgi]
recipe = zc.recipe.egg
eggs =
    Zope2
    repoze.who
    repoze.tm2
    repoze.retry
    Paste
    PasteDeploy
    PasteScript  
    Products.IssueDealer==0.9.140

Now, when that's done, we're ready to run buildout. Run the command

./bin/buildout

Now, this script may fail, if there are network issues for example that make downloading of packages break. If that's the case, just re-run the command until it completes with lines something like this:

"""
Generated script '/home/morphex/zope_blogologue.com/zope/bin/runzope'.
Generated script '/home/morphex/zope_blogologue.com/zope/bin/zopectl'.
Generated script '/home/morphex/zope_blogologue.com/zope/bin/zpasswd'.
Generated script '/home/morphex/zope_blogologue.com/zope/bin/addzope2user'.
Generated script '/home/morphex/zope_blogologue.com/zope/bin/mkzopeinstance'.
Generated script '/home/morphex/zope_blogologue.com/zope/bin/paster'.
"""

After a lengthy process with lots of output, we can create the Zope instance, like so:

./bin/mkzopeinstance -d ~/zope_blogologue.com/zope/instance

I'll leave it up to you to choose a username and password.

Now the instance has been setup, and we can run it for the first time. Type in the command

./instance/bin/zopectl fg

And you should see something like this:

/home/morphex/zope_blogologue.com/zope/instance/bin/runzope -X debug-mode=on
2015-02-13 04:31:04 INFO ZServer HTTP server started at Fri Feb 13 04:31:04 2015
        Hostname: 0.0.0.0
        Port: 8080
2015-02-13 04:31:05 INFO Zope Ready to handle requests

Now I login to my server on the URL http://blogologue.com:8080/manage_main - and select "Issue Dealer" from the drop-down list, click on add and give it the ID issues, and the title "My issues". Now that Issue Dealer instance is available on

http://blogologue.com:8080/issues

Voila. If you're setting up a plain Zope 2 or Zope 2 with some product, just remove the Products.IssueDealer parts from the buildout.cfg and it should work.

Hope you found this useful, and comments etc. are much appreciated. My email is morphex AT gmail.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Zope (Atom feed)] [13 Feb 04:05 Europe/Oslo]

A man walks into a bar..

So this week I've been visiting the kids, and the visit went relatively well, it was nice to see the kids again.

I don't have a relationship with the kids mom or her family anymore, and took the train from Mo i Rana to Trondheim yesterday evening.

Some of her relatives were on the train as well, but they didn't stop to say hi and it was fine by me.

Had a good time towards the end of the train journey, ate well and had some wine and beer. Headed towards a regular place when I got to Trondheim to have some beers and maybe meet some friendlies there.

After a while I was ordering a second beer when this chick I might have met before started suggesting what I should have. So OK, I went with her suggestion.

After drinking some of that beer I figured I could go talk to her, since she struck up a conversation with me.

But I think she was (the only girl) sitting at a table with maybe 5 other guys, and as I started talking to her, a guy at the table asked me to stop talking to her, I kept talking a bit with her and she said she studied law, then she said she studies psychology.. I glanced around the table and persisted a bit, but the guy still kept asking me to stop talking to her.

Well, I got a bad feeling right then and there and instinctively agreed with the guy asking me to stop talking to her. Next time I'll look at the company someone's with before I start talking to someone who started talking to me first..

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [06 Feb 21:14 Europe/Oslo]

A Rasbperry Pi router

So, I've been playing around with different technologies the last couple of weeks. The one I've talked the most about is the Raspberry Pi, a small computing unit that's available for cheap.

Where I'm staying doesn't have wired internet, and the Wi-Fi that is available isn't any good. So I decided I should create a router based on the Raspberry Pi that makes some "smart" decisions about network traffic.

I've got two providers of mobile internet, one on my phone and one pure mobile broadband subscription. The former has a good latency but limited capacity, while the latter is the opposite.

So when I'm playing online games like Battlefield, where latency (ping) is very important, I'd like to have the router choose what the best thing to do is, based on my instructions. I also flip between Windows and Linux on the desktop, and having things just work without per-OS configurations would be nice.

This router should be flexible so I can connect to it using Ethernet or Wi-Fi, and the Ethernet USB-dongle I got for it kept crashing the Pi. I reported this bug to the kernel developers but it is an old (not updated in years) driver that's causing the crashes so I don't have my hopes up. I found a patch which fixes the crashing ( https://github.com/kmtaylor/rpi_patches/blob/master/dm9601-b... ), but I'm not sure that patch does the right thing, it's probably the network chip driver is the one that should be patched.

Anyway, today I was able to patch the Raspbian kernel, cross-compile it on my X64 Octo-core 3.4 Ghz (significantly faster than compiling it on the Raspberry itself), install it on an SD-card, modify the config.txt file and boot the Raspberry with usbnet.c patched. And that worked well, copying a large file using scp went painlessly.

I ordered a new Ethernet dongle today, one that supports 1 Gbp/s in addition to 10/100 mbit, as offering that option as well seems like the right thing to do.

The Raspberry has support up to high speed USB 2.0, which has a max bandwidth of 480 Mbit/s (in practice the bandwidth one can use will be significantly lower) and there is also some CPU overhead, so it will never fast enough to give full 1 Gbps access. But it will offer the option of 1 Gbps connectivity, which probably means the upper limit is a couple of hundred Mbps.

I think this was a fun and smart thing to start with, I've also got some other Raspberry Pi ideas lurking, but limitied time and energy to play around with things.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [02 Feb 23:05 Europe/Oslo]

Finding a way to share cover songs

OK, so a little while ago I had problems with SoundCloud ( http://blogologue.com/blog_entry?id=1420246529X05 ), they took down a simple remix I made and gave me a dire warning that they would "terminate" my account.

Now I've got got a notice from MixCloud that they've taken down a song, even though it's my understanding that they pay licensing fees to the original creators so even though I make my own cover variant song of their song and all the income for that song goes to MixCloud and the content creators, they still take it down.

I think it's natural that people interpret popular culture and make works with popular culture. Popular music is also where a lot of people start, so there must be many, many people out there who want to share whatever they're working on, if just for fun (but also for feedback, a chance at getting noticed, making it big and so on). For me this music thing is a hobby so I'm not giving much thought to making money off it and all that entails, and to me it seems just wrong that it isn't possible to participate in a cultural exchange without getting hammered down like this.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [22 Jan 19:33 Europe/Oslo]

Some Hydrogen, EDM-like beats

So, this weekend I was feeling restless and nothing really fancied me, so I decided to play around with Hydrogen.

Hydrogen is an open source drum machine that runs on Linux, I've previously posted ( http://blogologue.com/blog_entry?id=1406401445X72 ) about a VirtualBox image that contains Linux and Hydrogen - which means you can run it on Windows and Macs as well.

Anyway, one of the things I've noticed with some (most?) EDM music is that it contains a "drumstick peak" where the beat gets more intensive in a song.

So I decided to create a drum track in Hydrogen that gives this peak in the song and I was able to do so just using the standard samples in Hydrogen.

The hydrogen file as well as an ogg file is available here:

http://blogologue.com/music/

Just thought I'd share this, if anything it can show how one creates a track in Hydrogen. I like Hydrogen for its simplicity, but now I yearn for something where I can edit the drum track as well as the synth/ambient sounds at the same time. So I'm looking at different apps that run on Linux that could do that.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [12 Jan 08:04 Europe/Oslo]

Repurposing old devices (NOKIA Lumia and Samsung Galaxy tab) for mobile internet access

So, where I'm staying right now doesn't offer a wired connection, so I've setup a mobile internet solution instead.

The companies that offer wireless mobile internet also offer routers etc. that can be used to setup WiFi access to the internet, but I didn't opt for any of those as I had a couple of old devices that could be setup as WiFi hotspots instead.

Up until a couple of days ago, I was using a Nokia Lumia as a WiFi hotspot and used the computer as a power source via USB, but I found that it started giving a very poor speed (20-30 KB/s) when I was on Linux. So I dug up my old Samsung Galaxy Tab P1000 instead, and placed my mobile internet provider SIM card in there.

It didn't work though, it just gave a couple of bars on the network indicating that there was some sort of connection, but no internet access.

After googling a bit, I found the setup procedure on Netcom (the provider of mobile broadband) for one of the devices they sold if internet didn't work. After some adjusting of the APN settings, I found that setting the Server to internet.netcom.no and the APN-Type of connection to internet, the Galaxy Tab started working as an access point to the internet.

So there you go, if you've got old phones etc. don't throw them away, they can be put to good use later.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Mobile (Atom feed)] [07 Jan 05:11 Europe/Oslo]

A SoundCloud(R) export tool

Hoi. OK, so these last couple of weeks I've been cleaning up things in my SoundCloud account, as there were lots of cover songs and some mixes and remixes that triggered the "SoundCloud copyright system".

There has been many rounds back and forth, and I even had to clear out private tracks for example of cover songs, which is strange.

Anyway, I figured that it would be nice to be able to export all of the content I've created over the last couple of years, just in case SoundCloud decides to "terminate" my account, files could be lost etc.

I downloaded the python-soundcloud package, and started getting to work. This module has been created by some person over @ SoundCloud. After some trying and failing it looked like it wasn't able to download tracks with the package, so I forked it on github ( here https://github.com/morphex/soundcloud-python ). Using that module and the following code in a script called for example download.py should do the trick.

# The following code is available under the GPL, version 3, available here: http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/gpl.html

import soundcloud, urllib2, urllib
from soundcloud.request import make_request
import os

CLIENT_ID = 'REGISTER ON SOUNDCLOUD AS APP'
CLIENT_SECRET = 'REGISTER ON SOUNDCLOUD AS APP'
USERNAME='YOUR SOUNDCLOUD EMAIL'
PASSWORD='YOUR SOUNDCLOUD PASSWORD'
LIMIT = 1000 # Maximum number of tracks to download
             # a limit in case something goes wrong 
             # so we don't hammer the system.

def download_tracks(output_directory):
    client = soundcloud.Client(
        client_id=CLIENT_ID,
        client_secret=CLIENT_SECRET,
        username=USERNAME,
        password=PASSWORD,
        )
    for track in client.get('/me/tracks', limit=LIMIT):
        path = track.download_url[len('https://api.soundcloud.com/')-1:]
        filename, data = client.get(track.download_url)
        output = open(os.path.join(output_directory, filename), 'w')
        output.write(data)
        output.close()
        print 'Downloaded file: ', filename

if __name__ == '__main__':
    import sys
    if len(sys.argv) != 2:
        raise SystemExit, 'output directory required'
    import os
    output_directory = sys.argv[1]
    try:
        os.mkdir(output_directory)
    except OSError:
        pass
    download_tracks(output_directory)


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [03 Jan 01:55 Europe/Oslo]

Taking a look at SASS, Compass & Zen Grid

OK, so a couple of days ago I got the idea that I should create a new personal website, which syndicates information from various sources into one channel, or page. That is, all my Youtube stuff, Tweets, stuff posted on SoundCloud, Instagram and so on.

Now, I've been using Python, Zope and Plone for many years, in work projects as well as personal projects. This time, I was thinking of creating something very simple, maybe even static HTML, Javascript and CSS files. Well, as for the static part, I think it is a good idea. The process for creating those static files could be done in any way though.

So I started looking at responsive design, and having a framework that delivers a lot seemed like a good idea. I ended up choosing Zen Grid because it felt right, a Ruby- and Compass-based framework for creating grid-based layouts. Ruby is a programming language, and Compass is a framework for creating CSS. I got Ruby installed, and got SASS, Compass and Zen-Grid installed using gem, an easy enough process, typing 'gem install sass', 'gem install compass', 'gem install zen-grid'.

OK, everything installed - fine. Now I had to create a SASS/Compass project, and the 'compass create <projectname>' command handled that. Creating a project creates some files, using the find command shows which files are present in my project right now:

morphex@infernal-love:~/apache/stats/tester$ find .

./config.rb
./index.html
./sass
./sass/ie.scss
./sass/print.scss
./sass/screen.scss
./stylesheets
./stylesheets/ie.css
./stylesheets/print.css
./stylesheets/screen.css

The sass directory contains the SASS files which will be compiled into the CSS files in the stylesheets directory. Now, first thing is first, and that's the web page. It is available here:

http://blogologue.com/stats/tester/index.html

If you look at the source of that file, you can see it's an example copied from the Zen Grid reference, with the E field commented out. This is because I saw the E field being moved down as content was being added in rows to the B field. I couldn't see any need to go beyond the D so it was just easy to remove it and don't have any headaches trying to figure things out.

The CSS file that gives this page its layout and colours is here:

http://blogologue.com/stats/tester/stylesheets/screen.css

And the SASS file that generated that CSS is here:

http://blogologue.com/stats/tester/sass/screen.scss

It's all fairly straightforward, and it is a nice simple way to create a layout on a web page.

A final note on these files, config.rb should contain

  require 'zen-grids'

to make all of this work, like my one does: http://blogologue.com/stats/tester/config.rb

For my part, I'm thinking it could be fun to create some tools in Python that pulls everything together, at least something that can generate HTML with information from all the different sites I post content to. It's easy to start over-engineering on projects like this, but maybe I'll also wrap Ruby, SASS, Compass etc. in a Python package to make these features easily available for Python. As well as look at including Zope's page template package to easily create templates.

Oh well, I'll get back to progress on all of this later. Tata. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Web (Atom feed)] [04 Dec 17:29 Europe/Oslo]

A journey into music

OK, so been a while since I blogged the last time. Lots of things have happened, but the most important part is that I've gotten a lot better at relaxing and taking it easy.

I thought I had something to say about music, and what can I say.

Up until maybe a couple of weeks ago I was cranking out music and getting into the groove of creating music, creating demos & songs. And I'm not the one to blow my own horn but in my opinion I was creating some good stuff that would suit some audience.

Anyway, these last couple of weeks I've spent at the family hut. Some days after I arrived, a violin also came in the mail. Prior to going to the hut I was listening to a cover of Viva la vida made by the Dallas String Quartet if I remember correctly, and I was deeply moved by the violin in that piece.

A picture of the violin is here:

http://instagram.com/p/r7sBWrKKpD/?modal=true

So yeah, a violin arrived last week, but it's these last couple of days I've been getting to play on it. It's really just posture, grip and open strings now, but it is good fun. I guess I'm that grown up that I can just STFU and do whatever the instructor says.

I found the lessons by this lady

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLLxyaKSNav9f9Vqvp99npQ

To be nice, easy and simple to follow. Now, to be honest and as a side note I'm on a very limited internet connection, so instead of replaying the lessons in a browser, I used a Python tool called youtube-dl to download the videos and play them locally.

It's here: http://rg3.github.io/youtube-dl/

This means I get video files that can be played locally, without the advertisements. Not exactly sure what to do about the ads, but Youtube should create some app that can store videos locally with ads so everything is in order.

Funny thing is, I bought a harmonica about a year ago, at the local rock museum, but haven't played it much up until now. But some travelling, broken violin strings etc. kinda forced my hand with regard to what I could use and the harmonica (picture here http://instagram.com/p/sTI8PXKKp9/?modal=true) was the obvious choice.

I guess to sum it up, these last couple of weeks I haven't really been creating or pushing myself to do much creative work, just playing with new instruments, relaxing and winding down. Not sure when I'll get back to creating new music but I think that new music will involve some harmonica and violin playing. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [30 Aug 00:33 Europe/Oslo]

quite nice

By: nikos

This one is quite nice...

[Permalink] [By nomail@mail.com] [ (Atom feed)] [30 Jul 10:02 Europe/Oslo]

Mac / Windows / Linux + Linux & VirtualBox & Hydrogen = True

OK, so I've been dabbling a bit with Hydrogen again, the IMO very good drum machine kit for Lunix..

I've been a user of Linux for a long time both on the desktop and server side, but lately I've been running Windows a lot because that's where Battlefield 4 runs, an FPS-strategical-tactical war game.

And every now and then I fire up Audacity to record something. Now, I've also got myself a set of digital drums to learn how to play the drums, but it's also nice to just be able to plot something into a program and have a nice, perfect drumtrack to go.

Now, Hydrogen doesn't run on Windows, so I figured I could have a copy of Hydrogen running in a virtual machine on Windows. I tried setting something up using QEMU, but after a while I just gave up because of many different bugs.

So, I ended up using VirtualBox and created an appliance which you can download here:

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/77290387/Hydrogen%20Debi...

If you don't have VirtualBox installed, get it installed and then import this (via the File menu in the VirtualBox main panel) and start it up and you'll have Hydrogen readily available.

This appliance has today's export (26th of July) of Hydrogen from Github running, so it's the latest and maybe even greatest version of Hydrogen available.

Give it a try why dontcha?

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [26 Jul 21:04 Europe/Oslo]

Chandelier, hydrogen and audacity

So I've been playing around with Sia's Chandelier this weekend, first finding the beat and then adding onto that.

I also started playing around a bit with Audacity (audio editing) and Hydrogen, a drum machine software kit for Linux. Audacity has some features line tone generation, which is nice for creating these deep tones, and it is possible to create custom drum kits for Hydrogen..

So here's a kit that has the lowest notes and cross-fades them out over 2.5 seconds: http://blogologue.com/c0-b0%20crossfade%20out%202.5s.h2drumk... - it gives the long punch to this thing: https://soundcloud.com/morten-w-petersen/chandelier-part-2

I know the chorus vocals could be a bit better but I have to draw the line somewhere, this is a hobby after all and something I do when I have the energy and the "lust". :)


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [25 May 16:08 Europe/Oslo]

My health, obsessive compulsions, privacy rights

OK, so it's been a long time since I blogged the last time. For about a year or so now my mental health has changed in a positive way.. although I guess I've been depressed for a while, my two main issues, psychosis and anxiety have improved dramatically.

So it's a mixed bag you may say, as things improve, there are (natural) reactions to what one has been through. At the same time I've not seen my kids more than a couple of hours each month since last summer, and that's really tough, in the emotional, sad way.

I think I've had fairly deep issues for many years, but been good at covering it up, for different reasons. Anxiety, or what could be said to be similar to obsessive compulsions, has been one of the main things I've worked with in therapy. To put it simply, OCD/anxiety has a lot to do with fear, fear of what one think might happen, what one is afraid will happen. Mix that with some maybe poor separation with daydreaming, fantasy and so on and one might end up thinking one is something or capable of something, or that others might do you something - dramatic and not good. And when this anxiety and obsessiveness gets bad enough, one goes around thinking about it all the time, and checking in different ways if these fears are true. Examples are worries one might stab someone with a knife (although that's far from what the obsessive person is capable of) and have problems around knives and people, that one can get contaminated by touching a door handle and has to wash the hands often and so on.

It might sound weird, but it's real in the mind of the sufferer and completely natural.

I've been in therapy and taking medication for a little over 4 years now, and I think there's been a steady improvement over the whole period, and when I started noticing improvements, that really gave motivation to continue the process. There have been three important things in my life, that has enabled me to change and become better. Two are therapy, talking to therapists, the other taking medication.

The third thing is my two kids.. there are wonderful things that happen when one becomes a parent, maybe the most positive thing is being able to give love to and take care of these small humans. I got psychotic around the birth of my first son, and that's maybe natural, as birth and the time around it is a time of a lot of changes, and natural, instinctive thoughts and feelings come into play. It might also have been poor sleep or lack of enough sleep, but I don't remember that much details from that period.

Regarding therapy and medication; I've noticed myself in periods with little therapy that my mental health has improved.. And I think that's because of the medicine doing its thing, as well as new ways of thinking and handling issues learned from therapy have been working gradually over time.

So it's maybe not the best thing to see a therapist every week, several times a week and so on. It might be more than enough to go every two weeks, once a month etc. This might be the most efficient way, as the mental health services can treat more people with less resources too.

As for psychosis, wow it's a trip to hell. It's like a nightmare you can't wake up from, and if you think of love, thinking, anger, fear, hate as separate wires in your brain, it's like these can get connected up the wrong way so that for example something you've feared deeply before now can be come fun. It's hard to explain in a good way, but it's important to say that most people who are psychotic do no harm, and that it's a lot about what goes on inside a person's head.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [20 Mar 14:08 Europe/Oslo]

Some more improvisation :)

http://blogologue.com/fourth-improv.mp3

Enjoy.

More music posts are on this link: http://blogologue.com/search?category=1088844297X43 - simple recordings and thoughts about music

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [28 Jul 23:17 Europe/Oslo]

A good point

I found this video on Facebook and twittered about it

  https://twitter.com/blogologue/status/357625893239267328

It's about a guy who's scared of heights, and as a part of the bachelor party, they are doing a fake bungee jump from a bridgde.

It is funny, but after laughing and smiling a bit about it, I found how it can illustrate mental issues... you can see the guy there, after having believed that he was about to jump of a bridge blindfolded and jumping, that he's struggling.

The other guys think it's funny, and it is, but just look at the guy afterwards and his reaction.

I think it illustrates a very good point about mental health, anxiety and so on. The thinking that something is a lot worse than it actually is, and that you need to keep on pushing to break through these barriers.

For example, panic attacks, social phobia and so on, can tire out someone just like the guy in the video, on a daily, weekly or whatever basis. Mental health is very real in the mind, and it evokes reactions from the body, for example that you get tired, put out and so on.

But the trick is to keep on pushing.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [18 Jul 00:27 Europe/Oslo]

A little improv jammin'

I've been playing different songs the last couple of days, nice to finally jam a bit and have som fun. :)

http://www.blogologue.com/improv-2013-07-16.mp3

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [16 Jul 14:07 Europe/Oslo]

Having two phones (HTC One X and Nokia Lumia 920)

So, a little while ago I bought myself a new phone, one in addition to the HTC One X I already have.

It was the Nokia Lumia 920, with a Windows Phone 8 operating system. I've played a bit around with it, and decided I like the new user interface.. it's intuitive that boxes can be dragged round and resized in the start screen. Downloaded some apps, for Twitter, Facebook, the bank and more, and these apps are OK to use. The gripe I have with the phone is that it the Spotify app isn't running as well as it should and the user interface is not that good, but I guess they'll improve that as time goes on.

So, some benefits of having two cellphones have popped up. I use a multi-SIM card solution from the phone operator Netcom, and for example when travelling by train where the coverage can vary, one phone can get SMS messages seconds or minutes before the other.

It is also nice to have one phone connected to the WiFi and the other not, so that whenever WiFi doesn't work as it should, it is easy and quick to use the other phone to check out Twitter, Facebook and so on.

So, now I have on Android Phone and one Windows Phone, and if the rumours are true, a big new Apple phone will arrive this summer. I think I'll get that one as well, and probably sell the HTC One unless I find a good reason to keep it.

A third benefit of having two phones is that one can pretty much always go through an entire day without having to charge up, and just put both in charging mode when going to bed. Most new phones suck battery like there's no tomorrow (...) so it is practical to have more than one phone in that regard.

I guess the only thing I'm missing for the Nokia Lumia 920 Windows Phone is an alternative browser. Firefox, Chrome, Safari or Opera would be nice, I guess WP8 isn't "big enough" yet that it has alternative browsers available.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [17 Apr 11:56 Europe/Oslo]

On the Nokia Lumia 920

So, I've had the Nokia Lumia 920 phone for a couple of days now. As I twittered fairly quickly, the user interface was interesting, the built-in speaker sound was good and the screen was nice to use, even in sunlight.

Now I've played with it some more, and it's a phone I can like. The biggest gripe I have is that it doesn't look like there are any alternative browsers for it. I use IE sparingly, which I think MS deserves after years of dragging web-developers down with their half-hearted approach to supporting web standards.

Another nag was that the logon to the Microsoft-account system (Hotmail, what was MSN messenger etc.) failed to begin with, and gave a pretty cryptic error message as to why. After googling (in a way a regular user would most likely not be able to), I found that the issue was an incorrect time zone setup on the phone.

Anyway, I keep playing with the phone and getting used to the "start" screen with all its little boxes and customizing it. It has got apps for Spotify, 7 Digital, Skype, Facebook and more, so it will be a phone I can use on a regular basis. I think it's a good phone so far. :)


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [07 Apr 19:20 Europe/Oslo]

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

So, long time since I've blogged :)

There has been a lot of changes in my life the last couple of months, Hilde has moved back to her home town to think about things, and I'm here in Trondheim trying to figure out things.

Not being around people you care about and have gotten used to, is hard. It's going better now than a month or two ago though, so one can adapt to most situations. Visiting Hilde and the kids now and then.

Up in the middle of all this, I've been working and hustling to get the house sold, things cleared up, getting more work and somewhere to go next. I feel more confident about myself now than I did half a year ago. The last couple of months have been very tough at times, but I've managed to get through it in a good way, and become more of myself again in the process.

Some months ago I also got a position as a board member in the local mental health organization (Mental Helse Trondheim), and also handling PR in that position. It's been a a very good experience participating there, seeing people who have been through tough times, that want to help others and getting paid nothing for it. Very inspiring and just the kind of positive experience I need.

So I'm up for new experiences these days, trying out new things and breaking away from my old, negative, thinking patterns.

Managed to cut down on the medicine as well, now using only 1 Truxal a day, compared to 3 some months ago. So I managed to cut down on medication while I was in a very tough situation.. that is something. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [04 Apr 13:59 Europe/Oslo]

Really feeling the rebound

So, life is pretty good these days. :)

Studying some Spanish every day, working hard and getting some exercise.. just over a month ago I was discussing the use of anti-depressants with my psychologist and the psychiatrist in charge of prescribing medicine. I got a prescription and was planning on starting taking it, in the start of January.

I didn't start taking it; after many talks with the psychologist I guess I'm all for managing mental issues naturally, and since I'm already using Seroquel and Truxal, starting with another medicine seemed somewhat daunting.

Here I am some weeks after I could have started with anti-depressants and things are feeling quite OK without them. I'm not saying that if your doctor says you *should* start taking anti-depressants you shouldn't - but sometimes it can be OK to try regular psychological therapy instead.

We talked about using anti-depressants not for depression, but for general anxiety (including panic attacks) and obsessive-compulsive thoughts. I guess it's hard to be pessimistic about life when life has been shitty for a good while and then gradually gets better and better. :)

A combination of therapy and medication has worked well for me.. now I'm looking forward to one day be completely off the medicine, but there's no rush. Life is OK and I don't notice a lot of side-effects from the medicine anymore.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [20 Jan 13:30 Europe/Oslo]

Life after mental illness

So, merry Christmas. :)

This Christmas has been the best one in a good while. Good food, good drink, relaxed atmosphere. It's nice to chat with family, have a glass of cognac and just spend time enjoying life.

Just having peace of mind and doing what one could call mundane things is nice, after having mental issues it is easier to enjoy such smaller things in life.

It seems like time goes by at an increasing rate, the kids grow up quickly and all that jazz.

I've always been a curious person and until 94 I did pretty good at school. Since then and until this year, learning and such has been a struggle. I've been focusing on learning more Spanish the last month or so and it is starting to be good fun, because I feel I'm learning and understanding more over a short period of time.

Life has taught me many lessons, and I feel wiser than I maybe should at the age of 32, and to complement that with a proper education seems like the perfect thing. So that's one of my goals for the next couple of years, get the basic high school grades required for admission into university.

That, as well as keeping my day job (build a successful triple bottom line business), providing for and taking care of my family, loosing weight (or rather, keeping in shape) and getting familiar with politics and doing some projects there are my goals and projects for the next 4-5 years.

There I said it, and now to deliver on that. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [25 Dec 17:18 Europe/Oslo]

Excessive worries and managing anxiety

OK, so I here I go blogging about mental issues again.. :)

A recurring theme for my mental health has been anxiety. Anxiety for many different things, panic attacks and so on.

Now, I could try to describe panic attacks (for me), they start as a murmur and then build themselves up to a climax, and the process from murmur to climax is very uncomfortable. Today I'm glad to say that it has been quite some time since I've had a panic attack.

I think the most important thing around panic attacks is that you learn that they are uncomfortable, but not dangerous. It might feel dangerous, but it's just your mind having a bad time. And you can get anxiety for having a panic attack as well. That is, anxiety for anxiety.

It can seem like a vicious circle but with therapy and medication it can be managed.

Well, I was going to blog about anxiety in general, that is, lately I've had some pretty bad anxiety that is somewhat constant and uncomfortable, waxes and vanes but is ever present.

Before this anxiety I had a long period where I felt good about things and life was flowing nicely..

So yeah, I had a nice run for a month maybe where things were fine, then I started getting bad anxiety again.. I talked to the therapist during the summer whether we should start using SSRI (aka. anti-depressants) but that we would wait and see if it is necessary.

I'm still not sure if I should start with that medicine, thinking less medicine is better, but now that I've had some good time to contrast with the bad anxiety I'm thinking I should start taking more medicine. Life is too short to spend it on having a bad time..

OK, so I'll let you know how that medicine thing goes. But, back to the real spark for this post, why I'm writing this post. I've talked to people that also suffer from anxiety, and a recurring theme is that a part of the negative process with anxiety is how others will perceive and treat you. A part of the anxiety is the thought that "Oh, now I can't get anxiety, what will people think?" - so part of the problem with (social) anxiety is that one is afraid of showing feelings, behaviour and thoughts because it is a taboo or not socially normal to talk about.

That's why I'm blogging today. Because talking about it, whether it is in therapy, among friends or in public, makes anxiety smaller, lesser.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [25 Nov 19:23 Europe/Oslo]

Regaining sense of self and error correction

So, been a while since I blogged about mental health.. life has been pretty good the last couple of months but I have had a bit of a "dip" a couple of weeks now.

I guess most people go about their lives and don't think too hard about how they're thinking, how they're acting etc.. the last couple of months I've been myself without giving much thought to how I behave or how I think.

Which is how it should be.. there has been quite a bit of talks with therapists and I notice now that I'm able to stop my mind running away with some negative/weird/scary thoughts and feelings once I become aware of thinking like that. Maybe not immediately but I've learned to take a break from <whatever>, focus on here and now and apprehend these thinking patterns.

It's a bit like error correction in hardware and software I guess, and a funny thing is that I use a form parity checking in that medicine tablets should be even or odd in the packaging, and something is up if it has been even for a while and suddenly goes odd. I also have a calendar reminder for taking meds in the middle of day, because I often get so lost in what I'm doing that I can end up taking it an or hour or two late.

So I'm getting used to being close to normal, and also getting used to that now and then uncomfortable thoughts and feelings can come back in periods of stress for example. When I read about things the therapist mentions these days, names for different psychological issues for example I'm able to understand what I'm reading and understand myself, while earlier it was just a big mess of thoughts and feelings and not much clarity.

I think the deal with severe mental health issues is that the here and now can be scary and uncomfortable, but one must always strive to think, and know, that things can get much better. I think the psychotic episode and issues that came after our first (Isak) was born is the worst I've had. It's in the couple of last weeks I recognize that it must have been very hard for Hilde in this period as well, jumping into the role of mom while I was so far down and so mentally ill. Just so that's said. :)


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [16 Nov 17:48 Europe/Oslo]

Internet over mobile network, ice.net

They've been working around or home the last couple of months to setup fiber for internet access. They had a mishap where internet was unavailable and one a couple of days ago as well.

So, I decided the other day that I need proper redundant internet access. We have devices on both of the major mobile GSM networks, and after being unsatisfied with how they work in lesser populated areas I decided to try something new.

So I bought an ICE.net router which is "CDMA EV-DO Rev. B". OK, so GSM, EDGE and CDMA etc. is different in speeds and features, I don't know much more than that.

So yeah, bought the router and got it fired up. And I must say I'm pleased with how it works. Great ping (SSH is as responsive as on regular broadband) and the transfer speeds are good too.

I'll use it now and then I guess, but it is good to have a backup besides the usual mobile phone networks. I look forward to taking it to more remote locations as well, to see how well it works in lesser populated areas.

So far it's looking good, it really feels like regular broadband.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Internet (Atom feed)] [16 Nov 17:30 Europe/Oslo]

Android everywhere for anyone

So, I've been using Android phones and tablets for a while now.. My HTC One X Android phone stopped working properly last week and this week I got around to delivering it in for repair.

I've been happy with the HTC One X, the only thing I have that is a bit annoying is that it sucks a lot of battery and needs to get charged during the day. Which might be partly because of lots of different apps pushing and polling over the network, but how hard can it be to get something going with good power management?

I think I'll buy a thicker phone, with a bigger battery, next time.

So yeah, I delivered the phone for repair and got a HUAWEI Ascend Y100. A snug little phone that runs Android. But typing things on it is a real pain, the keyboard and screen is much too small.

As I use different Android devices it is nice that they run the same icons, system etc. If I know one Android Phone I know them all.

I think that will be a good thing for Android, that you can go between devices and have calendaring and contacts sync over different models and that for example resetting a borrowed phone is the same on different models and easy as going through a couple of menus (privacy tab in settings).

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Android (Atom feed)] [16 Nov 15:04 Europe/Oslo]

I'd like a split personality phone please

So, I've been without a portable phone (using a big Samsung Galaxy Tab now) for a week, as the HTC One X suddenly got a black screen.

Being without something to constantly look at and play with, naturally some thoughts around smartphones and their use have popped up.

I don't like lugging around a lot of stuff, and I like to work *and* play with my phone, so I'd like one that runs in two modes. Regular mode, with games, Facebook, Twitter and those kinds of apps, and one mode for work, which is better protected, password-protects the screen faster etc.

I guess you can put more than two modes on the phone as well, but those are the ones I can think of now. Maybe a simple button on the phone that switches between the modes, and these modes are completely separate in terms of kernel- and user-space processes.

Have the protected mode in a paranoid configuration so that if you for example switch to regular mode and switch back, the password-protection is there immediately.

Sounds good to me. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [11 Nov 19:55 Europe/Oslo]

Spotify without Wine

So, after firing up Spotify in Wine a couple of times I got the message that I was running Spotify on an unsupported platform (with a link).

I opened the link and found that Spotify for Linux is in technology preview state. Fine, got some instructions on how to install it and followed them and voila, Spotify for Linux installed. Of course it was debian-package based which seems like the way most software organizations distribute software for Linux these days.

It works very well, looks a bit better than Spotify in Wine. Music sounds good etc. so it's a win. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Linux (Atom feed)] [10 Nov 19:57 Europe/Oslo]

Spotify with Wine

So I try different things now and then, Linux, Windows a little bit of Apple. These days I'm keen on playing around with Linux again, and have Ubuntu Studio running as my main desktop.

I like music. I love music. So I thought I'd get Spotify installed using the Crossover "Windows-for-Linux" plugin, as I got a free 12-month deal on Halloween on the CrossOver plugin.

So yeah, installed CrossOver and downloaded the Spotify installer, but the installation process hung and I exited.

Thought I'd try regular Wine (1.4) instead, located the Spotify installer in /tmp and installed. And yes, it works fine. :)

Maybe we'll see more and more developers more aware of the Linux platform and developing in a way where Windows apps work transparently on Linux with Wine, that would be nice.

I leave you with this: spotify:track:4er8NyQ8cFnZ2b643Tjc44

[Update..] Here's how Spotify looks on Linux: http://blogologue.com/spotify.png

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Wine (Atom feed)] [08 Nov 19:27 Europe/Oslo]

Visitors to my blog

So, time to show some statistics again:

Firefox 32.46%
Safari 23.77%
Android Browser 21.16%
Chrome 12.75%
Internet Explorer 5.22%

This time the results are from Google Analytics, and I can see there is quite an increase in visitors from a month back..

I think now with some quality writing and content, things are looking up and I just got to continue the trend.

That over 20% of visitors use the "Android browser" (whatever that is), is surprising. I've twittered and written a bit about Android-related stuff so there's that impact I guess. But why isn't Chrome the default browser?

Nice to see Firefox on top though. :)

[Update]

To make things a bit more interesting, here are the operating system stats:

Android 29.28%
Macintosh 25.80%
Linux 21.45%
Windows 19.71%
iOS 2.61%

Which shows that 50% of my visitors are using some variant of Linux. That's pretty cool! :) And if you count "UNIX" systems, close up to 80% are using that, assuming Macintosh means Mac OS X and .

OK, so there's my crowd, the UNIX people. And some Windows, when they do a desktop running on top of some UNIX it'll be up to 100%. [:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Meta (Atom feed)] [07 Nov 11:18 Europe/Oslo]

Skype on Linux, upside down video

I'm going to start using Skype more, or "chat software" in general so I got Skype fired up today and logged in.

Everything was fine, except the video camera (video chat) had the image turned upside down.

Some googling later I found the fix, and here's a small tutorial for an Ubuntu box:

cd /usr/bin
mv skype skype.bin
emacs skype

Paste this into the file:

#!/bin/sh
LD_PRELOAD=/usr/lib/i386-linux-gnu/libv4l/v4l1compat.so exec ./skype.bin

save, and run

chmod +x skype. Next time you fire up Skype via the terminal, video should be correct vertically.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [29 Oct 14:57 Europe/Oslo]

HTC One X running Netflix app with Media Link HD streaming to TV

Some months I suddenly felt the urge to buy a new smartphone, and got myself a HTC One X smartphone. I've been using it over months now and am satisified with how it works. If I use it a lot, the phone needs to get charged during the day, but I'm not sure what the reason for that is, might be many apps running polling and pushing over the network.

I've been looking for a TV-adapter for the phone, but couldn't find any. Looked around many places, and no-one had an adapter. So I was pleasantly surprised when one salesman said they had a wireless HD adapter (Media Link HD) that pairs with the HTC One X. So, OK, I bought it.

Setting it up (pairing the phone with the adapter) was as easy as plugging into the power adapter, connecting HDMI and swiping some fingers on the phone and they autoconfigured and were ready to go.

I've played around with the phone and adapter for a couple of days now, having struggled a bit with for example choppy playback of video, and sound lagging a bit.

Here's the phone streaming to the TV yesterday.

So I took a look at the processes that were running (task manager) and stopped a lot of them, Facebook, Maps etc. - all non-essential processes.

And that made a big difference, now playback is almost perfect, some minor hiccups once in a while, but nothing that can't be pragmatically overlooked.

Well, that's that. But I'd like to see an app that can instantly kill all non-essential processes, or a setup where some programs like those who display video and are a bit "heavy" can get maximum CPU priority so that other apps running don't disturb the playback.

Oh, and I would probably be good with an app that can diagnose things relevant to streaming over Wi-Fi, such as network bandwidth, network latency, CPU used by background processes and so on.



[Permalink] [By morphex] [Mobile (Atom feed)] [25 Oct 19:08 Europe/Oslo]

Bleeding me (haema-tomachrosis or hema-tomachrosis)

So it's been a while since I blogged anything about the "blood disorder" haematomachrosis/hematomachrosis. It is a thing where the body takes up too much iron which can lead to fatigue and other things.

Well, I've been going regularly (forgot the last appointment) to drain blood and they draw roughly a pint every time.

I feel a lot more energetic these days, and that might be due to the bloodletting, but it is more likely because I've been treated for psychosis for almost 3 years now.

Since both treatment for haematomachrosis/hematomachrosis and psychosis has been going on for the last couple of years it is hard to tell what helped, but I think both things helped, mostly the psychosis and mental health treatment but also the draining of blood.

It's quite an easy treatment for the haematomachrosis/hematomachrosis - they just draw blood, I drink some water before, during and after drawing blood and relax for a little while in the room when they're done and that's it.

I think I've felt fatigue after bloodletting, but the last couple of times I haven't felt anything in particular so I guess that could just be expectations. And that general anxiety about it made me more tired than usual.

That's how it goes with anxiety, one can get drained of energy (somewhat crippled) from doing things that should evoke some concern or worry and it can interfere with normal functioning.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [24 Oct 14:12 Europe/Oslo]

Firing all all cylinders, looking far ahead, cruising speed

So, a little over a week ago we came back from Spain. A month of relaxation, family time, tanning, a little drinking have been good.

Last week I started working again, and the situation being what it was I worked hard and long hours to get things under control after a month of nearly not working.

And it went fine. The things that's been bothering me the most the last 6 months maybe is anxiety, panic anxiety and different kinds of worries that can seep energy leaving me unresponsive, unproductive and other things. The anxiety is now almost gone, it creeps up every now and then but haven't had a panic attack in many months. Every time I feel an attack creeping up I check that I've taken my meds, eaten enough and just trying to do normal things and relax. And then it passes.

Last week I started practice driving with my brother as well, we were out driving 2 times and it went surprisingly well. Mixing the clutch-, brake- and gass-pedals to get a smooth start and cruise, looking far ahead when driving (for pedestrians and other things) while keeping a steady pace, keeping within the lane etc. isn't that hard to do. With anxiety manageable I'm able to do new things, necessary things.

Now I'm going out to jog, trying Endomondo for the first time. Hit me up, I'm Morten W. Petersen (morphex@gmail.com) - would be nice to have some more friends on there.

Suitable amounts of exercise: Mental and physical health win.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [15 Oct 14:42 Europe/Oslo]

Visitors to my blog

So I decided to look a bit at statistics today for this site, and found that there is quite a bit of constant traffic to this site.

Looking at the browser statistics shows this:

MS Internet Explorer - 37.2 %
Opera - 19.2 %
Firefox - 17.2 %
Google Chrome - 15.8 %
Mozilla - 6.2 %
Netscape - 1.9 %
Safari - 0.8 %

I'm surprised that there are so few Safari users, and that Netscape is still popular among some (!).. that's just statistics for one month though, and I've seen Firefox close on the top, often.

Speaking of browsers, today I had to fire up Google Chrome because Firefox was hanging on gmail.com - I hope that's just a temporary glitch and not something permanent. I think Chrome is OK, but one should be free to choose any modern browser and expect it to work flawlessly with such a big service that GMail is.



[Permalink] [By morphex] [Meta (Atom feed)] [03 Oct 17:24 Europe/Oslo]

On treatment of mentall illness and public discourse

So, I've been participating in a discussion around treatment for mental health, primarily medication.

I've been discussing in Norwegian with @agteien ( https://twitter.com/agteien ) and her story about being on antipsychotic medication (forced). She told the story about becoming suicidal when under treatment and that's she's worked hard to keep herself from any mental health care to avoid being subject to forced medical treatment again.

Anything that is forced upon a person automatically sucks more. That's just the way it is, so I understand that after being forcibly treated that's she's sceptical about mental health care. Some 8 years (I think) she's now kept herself away from treatment.

So she twittered this in public and I began a long dicussion around mental health treatment. My point of view after being in treatment for some 3 years now is that medication works. It really does.

I've been talking to psychiatrists and psychologists during this period, and what struck me was that in a long period without appointments (vacation, calendar mismatch etc.) things improved by themselves, I take that as an indication that the medication works fairly well by itself. I believe that medication is important when treating psychosis or other very severe mental illnesses.

A person can get used to anything, including psychosis and related disorders. For me, life right now is so much different than what is has been the last 10-15 years maybe. I feel more relaxed, content and able to deal with complex situations and issues easily. This is due to the medicine, *as well as* the appointments with different therapists to talk about whatever is the most uncomfortable issues the last couple of weeks.

To add some comic relief, @mizzmonique81 headbutted herself into the end of the discussion claiming that @agteien's public twittering about medical treatment of mental issues was none of my business. Well it is, because it is in public, my public Twitter bio says "Software developer with an interest in management, politics (liberal) and a better life for the mentally ill." and I believe a lot of people with mental problems can be easily affected, or persuaded if you will, to for example not seek medical help or take medicine to improve their mental health.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [19 Sep 15:21 Europe/Oslo]

Attitude really matters

So, been a while since I blogged about mental things now, but I thought it was time to blog a bit about it.

Nobody I know that knows I`ve struggled with things says anything negative about it, I haven´t heard once anyone say anything negative at all. People think I´ve got guts talking (blogging) about it. Some comments and suggestions on dropping the medicines I use and so on, but that´s something I`ve never done to the most important one, the anti-psychotics.. It´s around 2 months since I last took a Valium and that´s a victory.

That`s maybe natural too because I don`t talk a lot about it, it is interestingly enough easier to blog in public than speak about it in person.. it is important to be seen for things besides mental illness.

Anyway, life is pretty good. Discussed adding some medicine (anti-depressants) to the regimen but these last couple of weeks in particular have been good, I´ve started doing exercise on a regular basis (strength and running). It is widely known that exercise helps on a lot of things, and I`m quite a bit overweight so it is good to see the weight go down and feeling more energetic.

Anyway, the title of this blog post is about attitude. Attitude really matters. I often remind myself that how far I`ve come is good, and that things will go even better over time, over time there is constant progress and some ups and downs along the way.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [30 Aug 21:36 Europe/Oslo]

New monitor setup

So I got a new monitor the other day, was walking around downtown and visited a computer store.. asked why the 27" 3D monitor was the same price as another plain 27" monitor and the salesman explained that it has been used for demos, so OK I bought it.

Came home, plugged it in and it didn't work very well. So I took it back, they confirmed it was broken and got me another one, the one that was actually on display.

I must say, so far I'm very happy with having an extra monitor and a big one at that.. lots of space, and it is possible to have several terminal windows up with different code which makes things a bit easier to work with.

Here's a one-terminal screenshot of the new monitor space, I'm running Ubuntu with 2 monitors, one 27" and the other on the laptop. The laptop isn't heavy duty so I was surprised that things are so snappy on the big screen as well:

http://blogologue.com/screenshot_27.png

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [18 Aug 10:59 Europe/Oslo]

Good procedures matter

So, Isak our firstborn in getting closer to 3 years old. We've noticed some tantrums here and there, but they pass eventually.

It is said that if you give them the pinky they'll take the whole hand, which I'm sure is true after seeing some parental programs on the telly. And seeing how Isak can sometimes try to push the right buttons to get his way.

Anyway, I just about always put him to bed. Take him upstairs, give him a fluoride tablet, brush his teeth and put him to bed. There have been some things like Isak wanting an extra hug or kiss from mom before bed but that also passed.. I've been pretty strict about what happens before bedtime and I think that has been smart, as this procedure is a breeze these days.

It's a fine balance between nurture, structure and discipline to raise kids, but if they get a lot of affection and some leniency with discipline and structure as the default, things work out fine.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [14 Aug 19:12 Europe/Oslo]

Having some networking fun

Today, somewhat inspired by my brother who has gotten mobile broadband (which works well), I bought myself some new networking gear.

It's a Netgear Powerline Nano 200 WiFi Set, which works by plugging in an adapter in one end and a another in the other end, hooking up the former to the router via ethernet and configuring the latter (via ethernet) to set up wireless access.

I had some small issues configuring the wireless adapter, but the setup tools for the adapter worked out on the second try.

Nothing big really, but at least I now have 5 bars on the WiFi, larger capacity for data transfers and a good ping to boot. Small things like these matter when you're working on a computer all day, feels smoother and snappier.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Wireless (Atom feed)] [13 Aug 12:52 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Loreen - Euphoria

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [10 Aug 19:52 Europe/Oslo]

Upwards and onwards

So yeah, a little update from last time. What can I say, things are better than ever.. I feel relaxed and am able to take things easy if I feel negative emotions and thoughts are creeping up.

I've been discussing the use of another medicine (SSRI) with my psychologist and I'm going a bit back and forth on it in my own head as well.

Seeing how well the anti-psychotics and cognitive therapy have worked, that's a positive experience that makes me think the SSRI medicine could help as well, as it is similar to anti-psychotics in that they treat the current issues as well as has a long-term (permanent?) effect on the brain so that the chance of going nuts (...) again is reduced.

On the other hand, it would be good to just learn how to cope with things without medicine, and life is pretty good now. Just the social situations that are sometimes too much and I'm sure that will get better over time.

Oh well, we'll see. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [10 Aug 19:41 Europe/Oslo]

Taking things in stride

So this last week I've been on vacation in Geilo (see here for example https://twitter.com/blogologue/status/217356386647019520/pho... and things have been good, taking it easy.

Been fishing, been drinking (a little bit) and reflecting over life.. the pace in Nidelven IT is picking up and there is enough to do for a while to come.

I'm very glad we ditched the hosting part of our business (handed it over with care to another company) and that we now can focus on mostly one thing, selling our time to customers, as well as selling some licenses of in-house developed e-commerce software.

As far as my mental health goes, things have been steadily improving since I started treatment and that's encouraging because there is a dip in comfort now and then but it can be managed by taking some extra medicine.

I talked with Vebjørn (brother-in-law, studying to become a police officer) this week about drugs and medicine, and yes Valium can be considered a drug, but so can morphine if it is abused, so Valium as a solution now and then and not regular use or mixed with other things such as alcohol (dangerous), I consider to be OK. Although I'm thinking of trying an extra Truxal the next time there's too much anxiety, as I can have some beers then without worrying about a bad reaction to Valium and alcohol.

Life is pretty good.. and now some tea. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [01 Jul 10:25 Europe/Oslo]

A new joy in life

So lately I've found a new joy in life.. after being a heavy coffee drinker for many years, I watched a program on the TV where a woman talked about coffee being "too fast" for her, and that drinking tea was better.

I've been drinking tea now and then and it struck me that this could be true for me as well. I get too "manic" when drinking coffee and these last couple of weeks I've been drinking tea instead.

And it is a great joy, tea tastes great especially with honey and milk added. And there is a plethora of different tea types so one can vary and try different things now and then and have a selection of different types at hand.

And yes, it seems that it is better for me to drink tea than coffee, so now I know that as well.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [14 Jun 09:08 Europe/Oslo]

Life is good

So it's been a little while since I blogged.. things are changing and getting better.

Ḯ've managed to go on without Valium for a while now, and now it's only Quetiapine (Seroquel) and Truxal (Chlorprothixene) to manage my symptoms..

I had a meeting with the psychologist and the doctor that prescribes the drugs and we talked about going at least another year on the Quetiapine and trying to get off the Chlorprothixene as soon as possible. Which is fine by me, when the time is right we can start reducing the medicine.

It's been a long and hard battle (to use that overused metaphor).. it is not so much a battle as it is accepting life's realities, accepting stress and things that get you out of balance and rolling with the punches (...) - or rather avoiding them. :)

I'm happy now.. I think I'll be even happier as more time passes by, but I must always remember to stop and enjoy the things that are plentiful and small, but oh so important. Such as playing with the kids, sitting outside when it is sunny, getting out and about.

This psychosis/anxiety thing has been difficult, and things still get very heavy at times, but I wouldn't have thought 1-2 years ago that I'd be doing as well as I'm doing now. Which makes me think about those who have heavy problems and end life prematurely.. such a loss, as one is out of it and in pain and miss out on so much of what comes in the future. It is true that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and today I feel strong. Things can still get heavy but I feel smarter, more energetic, peaceful and stronger than I ever have before.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [07 Jun 14:22 Europe/Oslo]

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[Permalink] [By stanesad@hotmail.com] [ (Atom feed)] [23 May 07:25 Europe/Oslo]

igcoin [Deleted]

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[Permalink] [By stanesad@hotmail.com] [ (Atom feed)] [23 May 07:24 Europe/Oslo]

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[Permalink] [By stanesad@hotmail.com] [ (Atom feed)] [23 May 07:16 Europe/Oslo]

Loosing some battles, winning the war

Been a little while since I blogged so I thought it was time again. Long story short, things have been improving steadily since I first started treatment for psychosis.

I am able to think now that someday in the future, my mental problems will be mostly or completely over.

My medicine regime these days consists of 800 mg of Seroquel, 45 mg of Truxal and 1,25-5 mg of Valium when needed.

The deal with those who treat me is that I use Valium when necessary, and I've heard that those who use Valium (mostly) fare worse than those who don't, but it is a very effective and useful tool that brings stability for me. Knowing I have it and that I can use it, and using it, makes me able to control my mental health with confidence.

We had a new kid that arrived on Wednesday (Theo) and up to birth and after the birth I've used more Valium than usual. And events like childbirth can trigger psychosis or a relapse into psychosis, and now 4 days later I still feel things are well under control, that's thanks to anti-psychotics, Valium and the cognitive therapy I've had with different therapists the last couple of years. I just made sure I ate enough, slept enough, didn't undertake anything particularly stressful and took Valium when I felt severe anxiety creeping up.

Now that I was able to deal with the birth of Theo I feel more confident about most things and that it will be possible to beat (or rather, manage) my mental health problems.

It's been a long and at times incredibly (insanely..) hard battle, but it's possible to go through things like these and have a normal happy life. I know that now. :)

FWIW, I now have the "2012 ICD-10-CM Diagnosis Code" main diagnosis F41.3 and a "side diagnosis" (?) of F29. It's kind of nice to have a diagnosis, but the important thing has been working away at whatever problem I felt most pressing at the time, and over the last ̃2.5 years it has been just that, as well as taking medicine. There's a lot of hurt in those diagnoses which is hard for someone who hasn't gone through similar things to understand (just some of the feelings alone would probably scare the bejesus out of a mentally well person), but at least it's somewhat understandable now.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [05 May 15:53 Europe/Oslo]

Minor setback, life in general improving

So, yesterday I had a minor setback, as I awoke after falling to sleep and had a pretty bad anxiety/fear attack.

Thoughts about using more medicine and reacting badly to those (as in having dangerous side-effects) gave me a lot of anxiety and I had to rush to the local doctor that is open 24/7.

The anxiety lasted for about half an hour, most of it was pretty uncomfortable but when I got to the doctor and got to talk to someone things got better. After about 90 minutes of waiting I got to talk to a doctor about this anxiety and these concerns and I was calmed down by it.

The whole ordeal was pretty uncomfortable and I feel a bit tired today, but all in all it was OK. I managed to handle that situation as well. And did not even have to take a Valium to manage it.

These last months I feel things have greatly improved for my mental health, and incidents like these are more of a symptom of things that have been, not how they will be in the future. It is almost like I have gotten used to having it so bad, that feeling good feels a bit dangerous and I fall a bit back into feeling badly again.

Well, as far as medicine goes, I take and have always taken the medicines for psychosis regardless of how I feel about them and that other people are somewhat skeptical and some outright suggest that I stop taking them. That is something between me and those who give me treatment for (mental) health.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [07 Apr 18:14 Europe/Oslo]

Creating a relatively safe and portable Linux setup

So, over the last years I've become more aware and focused on security and doing things securely and "hygienic" so that different activities don't transfer security issues between different platforms.

One trick I've been using is to have DVDs/CDs with some live Linux distro running, so that between activities the system is shut down and any contagion from one activity doesn't transfer over to another.

This approach works well, but it is a bit slow starting up and doing different things.. waiting for the disc reader to spin up or do its thing is so slow at times that it can become annoying. And if you're really paranoid, the risk of malware hiding in the firmware or some other part of the computer is always there.

So yesterday I bought myself a USB stick, so I can install Linux onto that.. I'm going to use the Ubuntu Linux Live disc and do an install to the USB stick with that. I installed a Live/Install disc to the USB stick first using UNetBootin, but when booting from the stick and trying to install to the stick from the stick, it didn't work.

Interestingly it didn't work because for some reason the installer had to modify the partition table on the stick and couldn't do that when the stick itself was mounted. [Edit: The stick already had a partition configured, so why should it modify?]

Then, when I boot up from the USB stick for the first time, I'll install VirtualBox onto the USB stick Linux, and could run different activities within virtualized machines. I think I'll setup a script that can cleanly initialize a virtual box image, and then startup that image, so that each "work session" within a specific area is contained to that virtual box, and it is never re-used again.

Some other things that will need to go onto the USB stick Linux is a setup for WiFi as well as removing certain standard services such as CUPS that is configured to startup automatically and listen to a port which can be accessed by users on the same network and effectively becomes a potential security hole.

With an installation of Ubuntu as the USB stick Linux, I feel fairly confident it'll be able to work on most computers' hardware it is plugged in to. WiFi can be an issue, but I guess the trick there is to keep the Ubuntu up-to-date.

Well, that's the plan for now. I'll keep you posted. [:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [22 Mar 20:21 Europe/Oslo]

PyPi - the giftconomy

So, I've added a page about my PyPi stuff here:

http://blogologue.com/morten%20w.%20petersen%20-%20pypi%20pa...

It lists my published Python/Zope/Plone packages, and over 7000 downloads of them so far although I haven't prioritized PyPi until recently. Sweet deals all around!

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Python (Atom feed)] [07 Mar 14:14 Europe/Oslo]

Learning to think differently, on different things

So, been a while since I last blogged.. life continues to improve and I am able to control my feelings and thoughts better.

It's been well over 2 years with medications and therapy, and it helps. I feel I've been making really good progress after having started going to psychologists. I'm not sure exactly what it is they do, but just talking about things and getting control over bouts of anxiety and learning that things that are felt as perceived as dangerous are in fact not that dangerous helps tremendously.

My ability to focus and persist has grown a lot, the last week or two I've been sticking my head into some pretty complex stuff ( http://www.nidelven-it.no/weblogs/hosting/blog_entry?id=1329... ) and I've managed to fix things that might have been out of my reach earlier.

Through the last years I've had some persisting uncomfortable thoughts and feelings which have seemed very real, and those have been part of a psychosis. I know now that psychosis and other serious mental health issues are things people in general don't know or care that much about, but that they are very real and painful. And that you can live with various symptoms if you learn how to handle them and have a normal functional life. For example if you go around hearing voices or see things that others don't see or feel and think you are something you're not - it can be managed, one can live with it and see it as a part of a normal life. Or they can just go away.

I'm probably having GAD now, generalized anxiety disorder. There is some relation between my anxiety and my psychosis, and that makes sense as low doses of anti-psychotics are used to treat anxiety as well.. managing my thoughts and feelings is what I'm working on these days and I am making great strides in it.

Well, now it's about two months until baby #2 comes, and I feel OK about it. There is something to be said about births and them triggering psychosis or other things, but we're doing everything we can to manage our time and stress in that period (having frequent appointments with the psychologist for example) so we're doing what we can do make it a "controlled landing".

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [18 Feb 08:30 Europe/Oslo]

Post psychosis

So, it seems I'm pretty much over the psychosis stage now, after having talked to the therapist the last time.. I'm not sure how this diagosis thing works and everything, but now they are thinking about changing it.

I've read quite about this and that diagnosis and things related to psychosis such as being bipolar, depressive, manic and schizophrenic. I've also talked quite a bit to different therapists about diagnosis, and so far delusional disorder with psychosis seems to fit well.

Now it seems there can be severe bouts of anxiety and maybe some PTSD left.

Should I stay or should I go?

I've blogged quite a bit over the years and even when I was severely mentally ill, and lately I've been thinking about whether it is a good idea to blog about mental illness for me personally..

Spring 2011 we sold a part of our business to a partner, because we found that we were too small to be doing a lot of significantly different things.

Since that time there has been a lot less to do in the company, and although I've been fully committed to working in the company, I've also applied for jobs to get a steady income (since we sold a lot of the work and income) as well as "to get out a bit" and socialize more.

Anyway, I've got a ton of experience in running technical stuff as well as developing it and managing things. Even with that experience and having applied for a number of jobs I've only gotten one interview offer.

It's easy to find my blog through Google, and I think a lot of employers do search on the to get information about the applicant.

Ending a vicious circle

I think the problem with being mentally ill is that it is still a bit of a taboo, and this makes things worse because stigmatization adds to the problems. So what's needed is that more people talk about it and make it more acceptable to be ill. That's the only way to fix it really.

If I'm missing out on jobs because I'm blogging about my illness, then that's a part of a negative circle. If I'm not getting a job, then that could mean I could be out of work for a long period, and the longer you are without a job, the bigger the chance is that you don't get back in the job market - regardless of mental health.

Having something to do makes the days go by, and having a job is (I guess) a big deal for most people, as there is something to do and you get some social status from working. I think there are a lot of people out there who are mentally ill that could maybe work 10%, 30% and more, and that would be very helpful to the economy as well as IMO more people would get better, mentally.

During my most intense periods of psychosis I still worked 20% in the company, and in that period made decisions and plans that have in hindsight been very positive, and correct. So even if you're psychotic you can do something. And it helps to have something to do.

So this vicious circle.. you get ill, then you can't talk to a lot of people about it and if you apply for a job you can't talk about it. I think there is apprehension and fear around mental illness. Another part of that negative cycle is that not a lot of people talk about mental illness. There are I'm sure a lot of people who have varying degrees of mental illness, but because of for example stigmatization they don't seek help. Or maybe they are so ill that they lack the ability to understand that something is wrong with the way they think, or that they have become accustomed so the various symptoms of mental illness and go around with a serious mental handicap that hinders optimal functioning in life and enjoyment of it.

For the severely mentally ill, the problem with self-diagnosis or knowing that something is wrong with the way you think is that the same thing you're using to understand yourself is the thing that isn't working properly.

In that regard, it is helpful that mental illness gains acceptance, so that for example you can save a friend, relative or anyone by knowing a little more about mental illness and symptoms. Save them from squandering years of happiness, or even a whole lifetime of unecessary pain and stress.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [14 Jan 14:15 Europe/Oslo]

Over 2 years and counting

So, now it has been well over 2 years since I had a psychotic break. I'm feeling better and feeling more now than for a long time.

I've had to deal with my issues and change my ways. Change the way I think about things, change habits.

And I'm glad to say that it works. Life is pretty good.

I think I've had a bad relationship towards web usage (using it too much) as well as work (working too much, not "disconnecting") for a number of years..

So what have I learned from all this? That life is short and it isn't easy for a lot of people. And that people can always change.

But the most important thing is taking the meds. Without them I would probably still be in a bit of a mess. And going to the therapist and being honest. That can be very hard, but to change something, it helps to start talking about it.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [19 Dec 11:43 Europe/Oslo]

Life still improving, now getting it

So, been a while since I blogged the last time. I've blogged a lot about psychosis and the related issues, and the last 2 years or so have been a steady climb towards feeling well. Some ups-and-downs, but in the longer perspective it's been going up all the way.

I was at a high-school reunion on Saturday and had fun and there I talked a bit about being ill as well. At its worst, the psychosis was the worst thing I've ever experienced.. and as we talked about on Saturday, it is hard to know how a mental illness feels for a person as the different illnesses vary and there are subjective feelings involved as well.

I've thought about explaining psychosis, and the best and shortest explanation is that it is like a nightmare you can't wake up from. Maybe some "weird" symptoms such as hallucinations as well, but mostly just intense fear and loosing the ability to observe and interact with the world around you. For me it was a nightmare initially, then I think I went into some mode of coping with dashes of intense fear and other things.

You can imagine how a person comes into a coping mode, if you compare the fear involved (for me anyway) with the fear you would have if you are in danger of being seriously hurt or dying. And going around with such a fear constantly makes your mind and body work in a different way than it would for a normal, healthy person.

I guess it changes the mind as well, and that's where antipsychotic medicine is so valuable. Some brain/body chemistry or interaction is off. I wasn't paying attention a week or so ago and forgot to take my last pill before going to bed. And the next morning I got some of the psychosis-related symptoms back, not uncontrollably intense, but uncomfortable. As I've mentioned before, "coming down" from a psychosis can be uncomfortable as one can get PTSD and other related problems, and these may be attributed to the medicine, but taking the meds is vitally important. I've taken them since day 1 of getting them, and that's a part of the reason I'm doing as well as I'm doing now.

Anyway, now I feel good and feel smart, and act smart. :)

[Later same day..] Got a phone from the psychologist's office that she was on sick leave. So I may have to get a new psychologist, maybe for a longer period. Of course, I forgot to mention that the psychiatrists/psychologists have been very helpful as well and I notice a little stress about establishing a new connection. Talking about some things is hard, but it also gets easier every time I have to do it with a new person.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [26 Oct 08:17 Europe/Oslo]

A comfortable pace

I'm settling into a comfortable pace these days, prioritizing exercise.. I'm quite happy with that actually, I'm now up on 102 push-ups, which is IMO a feat since I'm pushing up a bit of weight.

Soccer is fun, and even though I haven't played much in the last 12-14 years I'm able to make some nice plays.. Soccer is great, as it never gets boring.. running on a threadmill or out in the woods isn't quite my thing, interesting how much more fun something is when there competition and a ball to kick around.

Oh well, I'm thinking of getting a drum kit; there are ones out there for about 4000 NOK which look OK. I've heard it isn't that hard to play the drums, you just need rhytm. So maybe I'll start playing the drums too and create another track. Whatever music and rhytms that pop into my head.

The local elections are coming closer, and I should do some stand-work for Venstre one of these days. Politics is interesting, and I guess you can get a kick out of that as well, finding good solutions and making decisions which affect a lot of people and has the potentional to do a lot of good.

I have some (business and tech) concepts I'd like to realize, not sure about the funding yet but maybe try the local state-backed funding sources first. Some neat ideas, which could make the world a better place.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [31 Aug 09:26 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Bruce Springsteen - Hungry heart

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [05 Aug 16:54 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Queen, David Bowie - Under pressure

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [31 Jul 08:45 Europe/Oslo]

Double action

Last weekend I was with friends and we fished for a while. I got 4 Mackerell and a couple of Cods one evening and it was good fun.

I'm bitten by the fishing bug I think, and today I bought myself a second fishing rod and some 30 gram sinkers. So now I'll be able to have one out lying with bait and another where I actively fish, pull and jerk and so on.

It should be good fun, and now that I have a moped I'm more mobile as well so I'll be able to go out after workhours and fish.

The bait fishing rod will have 2 hooks with some fish food on them (probably fish or shrimps (shrimps = catching wolffish)) and a 30 gram sinker. Wolffish are not that pretty, but excellent (a delicacy) as food.

I can't wait to go fishing. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Fishing (Atom feed)] [26 Jul 17:59 Europe/Oslo]

Life still improving

Well, my mental health is still improving (or rather at the moment at a bit of a plataeu). There is still some bouts of anxiety which are uncomfortable, but with techniques and ways of thinking about it I learned from my psychiatrist, they are at times manageable.

It is a great comfort to have Valium, if nothing else as a backup and then trying to deal with situations without using it.

I think the Valium is a great aide, but that it also maybe postpones some natural emotional processes.. so that if I take it one evening it does enable me to disconnect from stress and problematic emotions and then the day after deal with them.

So taking a Valium in the evening and then going to bed at an early hour and getting a good nights sleep breaks up stress and troubled hours and makes them manageable.

As the doctor in Spain said, people who use it over time and relatively often are worse off in the long run than those who don't. And I see that now. A lot of my mental problems are entangled experiences and emotions and need to be untangled.

I still look back sometimes and think of a lot of wasted time (happiness) during my life due to mental issues, but it is getting better now. I think I remember from a younger age that I wondered what mental illness and such was and not understanding, and for better or worse, I understand a lot about it now.

Norway is a pretty good place to live, but if the thing that's handling the input is broken, one can still be in a kind of hell while everyone around is OK or happy, and playful. It is a handicap to have serious mental issues, a handicap that you can hide from everyone else but at times come off as odd, irritable, weird, clumsy, stupid and so on. And a handicap you can get rid off by taking medicine and/or going to therapy, although one is (in the case of psychosis) more vulnerable to a new psychotic episode after having one.

Well, I'm exercising more and trying to get at least 30-60 minutes of exercise every day, either walking, doing strength exercises and so on. Exercise is as I've said earlier probably one of the best things one can do for mind and body, although overdoing it makes things worse.

I'm up to 50 seconds sideways plank (25 seconds on each side), 50 seconds static pushups (25 seconds on each side) 64 squats (without weights), 63 push-ups (12, 12, 12, 27), 108 sit-ups, 108 back-lifts (lying on the back and lifting the butt) and 108 lower-back push-downs (lying on the back pushing the lower-back down to the floor) and 120 arm pull-ups, sitting and squatting forward while lifting the arm up fast or slow.

I'm quite proud of reaching this level of exercise and strength now, and it has been a gradual build up from about half of what's listed above.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [25 Jul 12:22 Europe/Oslo]

Some days reflection

So, Friday a Norwegian guy went on a rampage and first set off a bomb in Oslo (killing 7, so far) and then a bit later went around and slaughtered young kids (about 86, so far) for over an hour on an island.

I found the whole thing very disturbing, and at first it seemed unreal that something as big as this could happen in Norway. But it did.

I've reflected a bit about it, and thought that it's one thing to set off a bomb, another is to go around on an island and slowly but surely slaughter over 80 kids and some adults with "high impact" ammunition, as they scream and beg for mercy.

He was apprehended and in interrogation told the police that what he did was gruesome but necessary.

So here you have an intelligent guy that decides to kill a bunch of people, because of anti-islamist and other beliefs and trying to "save" Norway (and the world?) from "left-wing" thinking. The guy was on the extremist right-wing.

Some more about that here:

http://www.oysteinrunde.no/#post18

Well, he's going to be put to justice I think.. I think he'll be kept in "safe keeping" for the rest of his life. There has some been talk about how a person could be able to do this and that he is a psychopath (had an antisocial personality disorder). There has also been talk about him being psychotic, but it is hard to believe that a guy could have such a high level of functioning and be psychotic. Maybe delusional, and maybe other things.

Maybe he'll be able to change.. maybe there were one or more deep things that enabled him to emotionally be able to do this. Maybe he'll be able to change from what he is today.

There are war criminals that have slaughtered a lot more people than he did and that have relatively short sentences and that this guy thought he was doing the necessary thing in a kind of war. But these are complicated questions and it will be interesting to see how the trial goes.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [25 Jul 06:59 Europe/Oslo]

Audacity test 2

So, another test with Audacity exporting to MP3, now with a gain on the "solo" track so that it's easier to hear it:

http://blogologue.com/audacity-test-2-solo-track-gain.mp3

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [21 Jul 17:21 Europe/Oslo]

Suffering from the old clock mechanics

So, I've been a bit overweight for a while, and that's not good for the health. Some acquaintances are doing the low-carb diet, and I see it has been successful, as in they've lost quite a bit of weight.

I was watching the Discovery channel today about the "fertile half moon" (in the Middle East) where the oldest known form of farming started some 10000 years ago.

For us white westerners the problem is surplus of food, surplus of "bad" food such as sugar and fat. In the olden days I assume that we were hunter-gatherers here up north, and eating carbs was associated with autumn, berries and other ripe fruits and vegetables and storing up fat for the long, hard, cold and energy-lacking winter.

It makes sense to me that low-carb diets would work, and I'm thinking of starting one at a later point, although I see Quetiapine can raise the blood-sugar (and thus hindering the ketosis process which burns fat in low-carb diets).

Oh well, we'll see.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [17 Jul 18:08 Europe/Oslo]

Coming down, getting up

So, we've been on vacation for a week now. Good fun, and nice to be with family.

I feel better than ever I think, it's been steady progress towards a stable-everyday mental state. I'm getting more relaxed about things now, and see most things (problems) as something I can try at and if I fail or get self-conscious I tend to be able to not give a fuck, or shrug it off if you will.

I see most things as an exercise and just see opportunities at getting better. If people want to make fun of things or give me a hard time then that's their problem.

I feel smart, I feel sharp. It's easy to talk about most things, and I'm also getting playful in social situations.

At times I've had some scary physical symptoms which I did talk to my psychiatrist about, and I'm able to tell myself now that thinking about having a scary physical condition doesn't necessarily give you that condition. Although stressing about blood pressure over time would probably give, high blood pressure. It's easy to get psychosomatic symptoms I think, maybe in combination with medicine as "coming down" from a psychotic episode presents its own challenges and then psychosis restitution symptoms are attributed to the medicine.

A small thing I found that works well, is splitting the "good night" dose into 2 smaller parts, so instead of taking 400 mg of Quetiapine at 9, I take 2 at 7 and 2 at 9. Works well, and take the unpleasant side-effects of the medicine away. And it's good sense too, as taking 400 at once is a lot more than 200 in the morning and 200 in the early afternoon.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [08 Jul 19:49 Europe/Oslo]

Testing out Audacity

http://blogologue.com/audacity-test.mp3

Like it? :)


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [25 Jun 20:51 Europe/Oslo]

Being frugal & caring for myself

So, I bought myself a bike last week, after having advertised that I would buy a bike on a local advertising site.

I ended up with a Nakamura hybrid bike about 5 years old but in good shape, with a Cateeye Velo 5 bike computer. I only paid 700 kroner for it, which I think is a very good deal.

I'm getting into good shape these days both mentally and physically, but I still weigh too much. So going for longer bike rides seems like a good idea as I play soccer 1-2 times a week, and soccer + high weight = could be bad for the knees. And biking isn't that hard on the knees.

I'm also reducing the amount of snus I'm using, partly because it's expensive, but mostly because it's known that you get a high blood pressure when using it and my blood pressure is a bit too high.

Mentally things are mostly up, I get "out of it" sometimes, but not for long and when I feel OK I'm relaxed and sometimes happy. Just taking my meds and being aware and thoughtful about how I treat myself. Not taking Valium either, just working through it and not masking the symptoms which are signals that I should stop and think about what's happening.

In regular week mode I now drink 1-2 days a week, and then not more than 3 units at a time. Doctor said the liver values were a bit high so no use in pushing it. And getting too drunk isn't fun anyway, "I'm too old for this shit." :)


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [20 Jun 18:34 Europe/Oslo]

Things are good, manageable and starting to be fun

So after a year of work with my psychiatrist he's moving on, starting work on a more acute part of the mental health sector.

We've talked a lot about structure and stress in my life, and structure is something that's been there for a while now. Now other stressors are something I have to manage, and I think I'm getting better at that as well. Hilde has been great at getting up in the night if Isak needed tending, and that has helped me as well as interrupted or too little sleep is a very real stressor.

My psychiatrist has been very restrictive about doling out medicine, only prescribing me Quetiapine (the Valium I got from a doctor in Spain). There's a (paraphrasing) saying that your current solution might be your next problem.

I think that's a good thing, using as little medicine as possible.. as taking additional medicine could in many ways make it easy to mask the real source of the problem which are lack of structure and stressors. Sure it has been painful, but I'm in a pretty good place now.

Tonight there's a late soccer match, starting around when I usually go to bed. But things are feeling good and I want to push myself a bit so I'm going.

Exercise in the right amounts is probably one of the best all-round medicines out there.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [01 Jun 20:11 Europe/Oslo]

Street crusin' but not for a bruisin'

We've finally gotten our new moped in order:

http://www.orientimport.no/?dim=2010-03-31_15-02-11_WEB01.jp...

It's a Sporto Street Cruiser, the cheap kind. Bought it at my brother's store and started driving it yesterday.

It's fun to drive again, although one feels a bit "naked" on the road on a simple moped. Car vs. moped and car wins.

But, have to trust people driving around in their cars.. got a tip from my brother as well, that driving in the middle of the lane rather than doing the polite thing and sticking to the edge. People have to do a proper drive-by then.

In other news, life is getting better and I feel a lot more structured. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Norway (Atom feed)] [31 May 17:28 Europe/Oslo]

WiMP - first impressions

So I downloaded WiMP yesterday, a streaming music service. The cable/broadbrand provided sent me a letter where I got an offer for 1 instance of WiMP streaming on my computer.

First thing I noticed is that it uses Adobe AIR. So it runs on Windows, Mac and Linux. I've seen some Adobe AIR apps before without being impressed, but I like this application. It's responsive, and it has something Spotify doesn't have: autocomplete on searches.

The focus on music is a bit different than Spotify. In WiMP playlists are in focus, and I see that it is easier to go outside of the mainstream and find different kinds of interesting music.

Right now I'm listening to the latest Foo Fighters, and it sounds good.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [28 May 07:47 Europe/Oslo]

Stating the obvious

Well, things have improved the last couple of months, and life is a lot better, better than it has been in a long time.

Last week I got a stomach-flu bug which resulted in quick passing of what was ingested, as well as some exhaustion. I didn't think that much about it, but noted to myself that the antipsychotics would probably have less effect as well so I just took things easy, but also did normal things.

Sunday evening I opened up a bottle of red wine and was planning to have an easy evening. But then at 8 or 9 in the evening I "crashed" and went back to a mental form last visited 3 or more months ago.

It was quite terrible and stressful, and today 2 days later I'm still recovering as last night was tough as well, thinking about if I could crash again.

Well I didn't, but today Tuesday I still feel exhausted; probably a combination of having a crash and having the stomach-flu.

On the other hand, I kind of welcome it happening, as I was able to deal with it on Sunday, and go to sleep yesterday without taking any extra meds. I'll have some Valium this evening though I think, because I do feel exhausted and a bit sick and it's important to recuperate.

Yes, I welcomed this happening. Because up until now it has been hard to differantiate what's me and what's psychosis-related-thoughts. I feel that with Sunday evening's crash, it is now easier to see what was psychosis-related, and that the healthy-me is a normal, good guy.

Oh well, as we say.. It's not so bad that it isn't good for something. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [10 May 14:00 Europe/Oslo]

Battery drain

I keep playing with the Galaxy Tab, and found that it was using up the battery quite quickly, even in "sleep" mode.

Well, I found "SystemPanel App / Task Manager" in the Android market after reading up a bit about it, and it runs in the background now and kills processes that are eating up battery, costing about 18 NOK to download and install from Nextapp.

The iPad had something like this built-in and battery lasted for a long time without any "hacks" being made, so score for Apple in the easy-to-use department there.

However, I do like the "rawness" of the Galaxy tab, installing the task manager gave me an overview of CPU usage etc. and which processes that are running, something more Linux-like than the iPad, and I've played with Linux for many years.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Samsung Galaxy Tab (Atom feed)] [03 May 13:16 Europe/Oslo]

Voddler.com - a cool streaming service

As mentioned earlier on this blog, I've found Voddler(.com) - a nice video streaming service.

I'm quite happy with it, as the process of viewing content and that it has new movies makes it nice to use.

It also has a host of free movies, some old, some new that we're watching in the evenings.

One nag I have about it all, is that when streaming starts up there is a "video jingle" of Voddle which is too loud, and it is annoying to turn the volume down, to then turn it up again because actors in the movie are inaudible.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Voddler (Atom feed)] [30 Apr 14:38 Europe/Oslo]

First impressions, Samsung Galaxy Tab

So, I've played with the Samsung Galaxy Tab(let) now for a couple of days, and so far - I like it.

Early on I found a cool background feature, which creates a 3D animated background which also responds to touch gestures.

It is smaller, but thicker than an iPad. It also looks like it's good a good resolution, as games and other graphics are quite smooth on it.

One thing I find a bit nagging, is that scrolling in the browser for example, is a little bit choppy. On the iPad that was completely smooth scrolling.

There are lots of apps for the Galaxy Tab, and so far I've found Spotify, Tweetdeck, Firefox, Opera Mobile & Opera Mini + a Hold'em poker app and some other things.

That it is smaller than the iPad is nice, as I can but it in my jacket which makes it more portable.

It looks like it has a poorer battery life than the iPad, but that might be my settings and not closing apps.

So, impressions so far: good. A 4 out of 6.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Samsung Galaxy Tab (Atom feed)] [30 Apr 14:31 Europe/Oslo]

Poetry in motion

So, I had a candid talk with Hilde the other day. She quite simply said I was over-the-top smart. Which is true in some ways, I think too much. And thinking too much is not good.

Lots of existential thoughts, and thinking about how things are and why.

It's interesting to think we're walking around on a big ball, which orbits around a bigger ball. The ball we're walking around happens to have a core that generates a magnetic field, so that the big ball we're orbiting around doesn't fry our ball. There is a smaller ball that orbits around us, and is one of the reasons there can be life on our ball today.

The auroras make a show every now and then, and while our solar system and galaxy hurtles around in space away from other galaxies, we walk around here and live our daily lives.

I saw a program on Discovery, that we're stardust. Remnants of old stars which exploded a long time ago. And going further back, simple chemical atoms whirled around after the big bang and started getting together making bigger and bigger things.

It's been a long time since the big bang, and we walk around doing our daily stuff and contributing to the development of society. Sooner or later we'll have AI, and then there will be intelligent beings that given the proper systems will live forever.

Will that be the tool that gives us good answers?

And it is interesting to note that we're talking about "solar sails" now, that we're talking about sailing in space - sailing is a very old art.

Well, given the time that has gone, we're just here for a very small fraction of time. One can wonder if that's it.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Nature (Atom feed)] [29 Apr 08:11 Europe/Oslo]

Dealing with the old, finding the new

So, long time since the last update.

Today I got a Samsung Galaxy Tab in the mail and have a new toy to play with. My old iPad 1 got sold, and it took about an hour or two of advertising until a buyer bought it from me (maybe I sold it a bit too cheap).

Anyway, good to get rid of old things as they're likely to just collect dust anyway.

I've also after some ruminations found a good service for streaming movies (and maybe TV shows) on voddler.com. A little bit cheaper than renting physical DVDs - and that's OK.

I'm using Hilde's old laptop to stream movies, and it is *just* fast enough to stream movies. You'd think a dual core laptop processor @ 1.73 Ghz would be more than enough, but no. Hooked up via VGA to the TV, and the TV is connected to the surround system.

The old laptop is an Acer, and I think they had some problems for a while with a range of overheating laptops, so luckily I had an USB-pluggable cooling pad that lies beneath.

Otherwise in the health department, all things are looking up. Started exercising more and it helps. Some flashbacks and issues from the past are popping up but things are overall easier than before.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [26 Apr 17:24 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

The Manic Street Preachers - A design for life

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [21 Apr 15:08 Europe/Oslo]

Structure is king

So, lately things have gotten a lot better, I feel normal and it is easy to concentrate on things. Easier than it has been for many years.

One of the things I've lacked for some years is a good structure on the day. Clear 8-4 workhours, then not doing anything too exciting in the evenings and getting a good night of sleep.

No caffeine, no alcohol, no truxal (I stopped taking 30 mgs in the mornings a couple of weeks ago), no work after 15 or 17 depending, and going to bed early as well as getting up early at around the same time every day.

+ Some exercise of course, and eating healthy food such as 3-4 fruits a day, one fiber-rich meal and normal Norwegian "household feed".

I have one vice left, and that is "snus". Maybe I'll stop using it some day, but right now it is good to have something to enjoy.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [18 Mar 09:04 Europe/Oslo]

Stable and working it

Well, been a while since I blogged the last time. Things have really improved.. I'm on a regiment of 800 mgs of Seroquel now per day. 400 mgs before bedtime to get some proper sleep.

In the course of a couple of months, things have improved and it is possible to function close to normal.

Four major changes have been that I've gone from drinking a little, to nothing at all. I've also started participating in a soccer team and we have exercises every Sunday and will start playing in a league soon. And no more caffeine, just decaf instant coffee. And, no candy and little sugary foods. Just wholesome fiber food, fruits, vegetables and regular, healthy meals. Sushi for example. :)

When you're down and out, it is hard to get things going. For me, I had to work just to keep the money wheels turning, and I think it is good to do something you feel you're good at.

But, exercise is a really great medicine. I've talked to the psychiatrist about it and it is something that is well known. As an anti-depressant and many other things. I agree, things have gotten a lot better after starting soccer exercise as well.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [12 Mar 08:23 Europe/Oslo]

Taking it in stride

This last week has been good. I'm able to relax, work and in general take control of my mind.

There has been a component of obessive thoughts in my problems, and it is something I've become better at dealing with. Talking to the psychiatrist and being aware my own thoughts and what stresses me enables me to see what I should do.

Take it easy is one thing. I have a tendency to work 120% and exhaust myself when programming for example, but at least I'm getting better at taking breaks now.

Lately I've also thought about blogging about this thing. Sometimes it feels like I'm whining, and sometimes I want to pull the curtain and be private again.. but now that I've blogged about it, it's out there, and it is nice to see people get in touch and treat me normally, now that I'm feeling normal again.

I think it's important to talk about it; it is just a disease after all. A terrible disease, but something you can recover from.

I find myself meeting new people, and my mental health isn't something I want to talk about. It's more important to just be "on par" and be able to do normal things.

I did something big this weekend. I attended a class about politics, arranged by the political party I support (Venstre, http://www.venstre.no/print.php?article=981). There I had 2 presentations (one presentation reading off paper, one speech where I also stared a bit too much at the paper). But I have to congratulate myself on that.

Being scared, having a high pulse and then managing to pull it off.

For better or worse, I think being on the net has helped me through a lot of problems through the years, having something to do, talking a little to people and being a bit in touch. But there is also this thing that I've had scary thoughts and problems before, and I think being on the net and not interacting with people, has made me interpret things in the wrong (negative way).

Oh well, it feels a bit weird now to have blogged about this whole process and sometimes I want to undo it. But it's also important to just get the word out there and make it more normal to be sick, and be aware of what the signs are.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [26 Jan 08:41 Europe/Oslo]

Daring to try

So, lately I've been feeling a lot better, and the start of this week was nice.. However, I think too much coffee and activity brought me to a crash towards the end of the week.

During the Christmas holidays, I was feeling relaxed and really good, so the last couple of weeks had been good as well.

But I think the culprit here, as I think I had some manic episode this week. Tricked by feeling closer to normal, I set myself up for a knockout punch or two..

I'm aware now that a lot of my thinking earlier for some years, had been overly paranoid, and at times or all the time delusional.

So I see there is a psychotic disorder which is mainly about delusions.. But this week it felt like I was on top of the world.. So maybe it is schizoaffective disorder, which I see covers both paranoia, delusions and some sort of "bipolar" thing.

The doctor pretty much told me to not ruminate and read about mental diseases on the net but I don't feel it is ruminating, and anything that speeds up the process of getting the right diagnosis, and then treatment through medicine and therapy, is important.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [16 Jan 19:35 Europe/Oslo]

Sudden increase in horsepower

Well, things are going flying these days. Things feel simple, and I have a lot of energy.

That will take some getting used to as well, so I don't burn myself out..

But structure and clear limits should help.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [12 Jan 17:55 Europe/Oslo]

Playing the blues

So last week I talked to another person at the treatment centre, and the topic of depression after a psychotic episode came up.

I feel a bit sad this evening, but I don't know if it is a day's blues or something else. I see the Seroquel can be recommended for depression as well.

I'm getting used to seeing and experiencing the world 'as it is', and it is nice, sad, scary and exciting.

I also watch out in a different way than before, looking out for things that can be dangerous for Isak. I think I have one main goal for him, and that's giving him love and attention. Anything else should come naturally out of that.

It's good to be 'normal', but it is also a bit hard.



[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [09 Jan 20:59 Europe/Oslo]

A lot of time

So.. i'm sick. I have been very sick, but I'm getting better.

I'm getting more structured, and I'm learning how to leave things as they are and not obsess.

I'm understanding more about this illness, and I'm getting better at asking for help.

Life is getting better, but it is very tough at times. It is more good than bad though.

I'm able to enjoy social situations more.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [06 Jan 19:42 Europe/Oslo]

Just wow

Where have I been all these years?

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [05 Jan 13:43 Europe/Oslo]

10 a day (I don't think it will go to 11)

So I've stepped up another notch with the doctor's approval. 800 mg of Quetiapine per day and 30 mg Truxal. The Quetiapine is in the upper normal range now, on dosage.

I feel better and more normal than I have in many years. That's thanks to medicine, family and Hilde & Isak.

I've talked to my doctor a bit about structure. Going to bed and getting up at around the same time, keeping things predictable as stress is something that makes things worse.

A big thanks to Hilde that has been a good help in keeping me structured, and also forcing me to evaluate how I think and do things with her verbal and vocal fists.

Although other issues pop up and become dominant now that the psychosis and paranoia thing is settling down, it is still manageable if a bit unpleasant at times.

If I hadn't dealt with things and gotten help from various places, I kind of wonder where I would be today, and 10 years from now. I can tell you one thing, living with heavy mental issues can't be good for the body and would probably have gotten me to an early grave if things hadn't gone they way they did.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [04 Jan 13:52 Europe/Oslo]

Paranoid android coaster complete

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z42fchrzhHY

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [04 Jan 09:15 Europe/Oslo]

A nice piece

As I read this:

http://scripting.com/stories/2011/01/01/theWorldIsSocialist....

I found myself nodding. Pooling of resources is important, and as an example, it is easier to have one firestation paid by a whole city's populace, rather than two different paid by different parts of the population, for being able to pool resources towards 24/7 watch and response.

Then again, things probably evolve faster (products, production processes, whatever) when you have competition.

So there is probably some number of competitors in any market segment that is optimal, one or billions.

I like the idea of socialism and capitalism mixed together, and it is already, everywhere.

One thing I've wondered about is the rule of law here and there. A death penalty is harsh, and I've heard Abid Raja say that it is the most effective or gruesome if you will, form of torture.

We have a liberal rule of law here, which emphatises with the offender and gives a relatively light sentence.

We don't have the death penalty for example, it is 21 years max, with some exceptions.

I think that is acceptable, as 21 years is a long time, it will be a lesson. And it will certainly take the "fun" out of things.

I've griped a bit with justice issues, and thought about how things are for me and my family. I know my kid can grow up to be "good", but he could also be "bad" and in need of correction.

Seeing my family vs. anothers for example. If one kid should become a murderer, it is a tragedy for the victim. But it is also a tragedy for the person that becomes a murderer. And as we know by now, you can't make people alive again, by killing another.

So a liberal rule of law, is the system with the least amount of overhead, IMO.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [02 Jan 18:04 Europe/Oslo]

Oh grow up

So, this disease I have.. I think it is Schizophrenia or maybe bipolar. I used to have quite a bit of social anxiety, and I see that's part of the Schizo process.

Now with the meds, today for example, I am able to deal with largeer groups of people and focus.

In any case, meeting and dealing with people is good for my issues, now that I've "been myself" towards the psychiatrist and Hilde and come to a level field with them, it is easier to deal with others as well I think.

Looking back, I think I've spent WAY too much time working and not socializing.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [31 Dec 18:23 Europe/Oslo]

9 a day

So I've found a good place to be, medication-wise. I'm taking 700 mg of Seroquel and 30 mg of Truxal.

That kind of dosage takes the edge of most things, but I could hope I'd be able to cut down or drop medicines at some point.

It looks like I'll be on these meds for up to 5 more years in the first run. It doesn't matter, life is so much more manageable now.

Thank god there has been much work done in this field.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [31 Dec 16:46 Europe/Oslo]

Speaking of tips and tricks

Another thing that is vital to me, is having a medicine dosette. Just one used day-to-day.

I sometimes catch myself a couple of hours after I should have taken medicine, and it's not a problem as you can see what's supposed to be taken.

Makes life easier, one less thing to worry about.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [21 Dec 09:16 Europe/Oslo]

A trick

So, last week was stressful; to boot I had some stomach problems this weekend - which I've paid attention to.

I think (not sure) that having stomach problems while taking Seroquel makes things worse, as the stomach problems makes things go through the system faster, or makes it so that the medicine isn't fully absorbed.

I thought about this yesterday, and surely enough today I had some problems. It was handled though, by taking about 1,25 mg of Valium.

Tips to the people out there on meds! If you have stomach problems, check with your doctor if it can affect the medicine you're taking.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [20 Dec 13:56 Europe/Oslo]

Close to Christmas

Well, the last week has been stressful. 2 major issues on work, but we managed to handle them.

Yesterday after work I felt tired, dead tired. That's a feeling I need to get used to.. Now I can be tired and lack energy, without some negative thoughts popping into my head or feeling stressed.

In some ways, I feel like a kid who has seen and been through a lot.. Strange as it may sound.

I look forward to Christmas eve.



[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [18 Dec 15:39 Europe/Oslo]

Wikileaks thoughts

So I've been following the Wikileaks debacle these last months, and I find it interesting, interesting to see what people think and say when "off the air".

As far as I can tell, there are some things there that are damaging, but at the end of it all, I think most people will say that it wasn't that surprising what was published.

Someone used the analogy of these documents being like private patient records.. not quite, as these are documents of people working and taking decisions on their people's behalf.

Most people want their sausage, but don't want to be reminded how it was made.

I don't like sausage that much by itself, but properly prepared I love it:

http://ingvildsmatblogg.blogspot.com/2009/08/plsegrateng.htm...

It is interesting indeed. Wonder how information sharing and protection goes in the future, and how states communicate now that everyone can reaech everyone else.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [09 Dec 13:49 Europe/Oslo]

Stepping it up a notch

Yesterday I had another appointment with the psychiatrist. They have some doctors-to-be (4th year students) who attend the therapy as well, and I agreed earlier that one could attend.

So we talked and I explained how life was at time before the psychotic episode that started last winter. And it was screwed up mentally in periods.

I think I have some problems relating to people, and now I'm more open about my thoughts and feelings it is possible to talk to Hilde about our "connectivity issues" as well. And in the process also get better from the disease.

Well, I'm taking one more Seroquel starting yesterday, and that feels right.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [09 Dec 06:58 Europe/Oslo]

Taking control

So, I've learned to manage myself better this last year. Setup appointments, not work too much, not exercise too much.

I had a small meltdown earlier today, but as with different thoughts and "trains of thought" - I am now able to break them off. Instead of quietly suffering and feeling stress, I can pretty much just stop it.

That's a great thing. I still have moments of feeling pretty out of it, but it is possible to combat and handle it, so it's good.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [07 Dec 21:37 Europe/Oslo]

Test

Test

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [06 Dec 21:37 Europe/Oslo]

Some comforting news

So I went to the doctor today, after tests on Tuesday. They did different tests, blood pressure (120/85), an EKG, liver tests, iron and so on.

Everything looked good, except slightly elevated liver values, which makes sense as I did have a couple of beers the day before the test.

Knock on wood, life is good. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [02 Dec 20:21 Europe/Oslo]

Too much data

I see that Facebook is happily tracking users.. There is more and more information becoming available..

http://yro.slashdot.org/story/10/11/30/1734249/Facebooks-Lik...

And with these multi-input machines, one is ultimately susceptible for more sureveillance...

That's why I'd like a hardware switch, similar to what you use to turn the light on and off.

That way, you'd be able to make perfectly sure that noone is listening to what you're saying, or seeing through the camera on your device.. After all, people that understabd security, know that it is impossible to make a device unhackable, if it is connected to and used on the web.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [30 Nov 19:37 Europe/Oslo]

Keeping things structured, having "consistent frames"

So, I've managed to reduce the pace at which I've been living the last year, and after some discussions with the psychiatrist, I see that stress is something that makes my (psychotic) symptoms worse.

I think a big part of my problems, is that I've kept them "locked up" and not talked to other people about them.. now that I talk about them and get feedback, I see things differently.

The psychiatrist is using cognitive theraphy (I think), and to me it seems it helps me think normally, and manage my thoughts and feelings. We're also talking about structure, and I've gotten a lot better at leaving work-mode after working 8-10 hours, which makes me happier, less stressed and more energetic.

Where I would usually come into some negative or anxiety way of thinking earlier, I am now able most of the time to tell myself to stop thinking that way (because I can't bother or have the energy for it) and I can "switch" from that thinking pattern, to a normal or playful thought pattern.

So stress is the trigger for most things; and keeping things structured every day, every week, helps prevent this. Drinking alcohol for example, probably makes me more stressed, as sleep is not as good if you have a bit of a buzz and then there's hangover anxiety (stress).

The Valium is something I cherish, not so much because I use it everyday, but it is an emergency medicine I can use if I feel a panic coming along or get one. It also helps in "heavy" social situations with lots of people. It something I use sparingly and I'm able to train at being sociable.

It is a bit difficult to differantiate between panic attacks and worsening psychotic symptoms. I think lately there has been less panic attacks and more psychosis-related symptoms.

I think talking about things is the best therapy I can get really, but the medicines helps manage the symptoms. And if I weren't on antipsychotics now (Quetiapine), life would probably be a bit different.

There is some strength training every 2-3 days, doing push-ups, sit-ups and more; I've been steady at the same weight for the last 6 months, but I see now that I'm a lot more firm, and it really is good for the mind to do manageable amounts of exercise.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [28 Nov 19:08 Europe/Oslo]

More love, less else

Therapy with my psychiatrist, as well as some other therapy helps..

I now am able to get that loving feeling, as in empathy and being able to care and feel.

It is weird, it feels good. :)

As I read on other blogs and can relate to, you gotta stop caring so much about what other think. And really see the world for what it is and how it works.

Life is too short to worry about what someone who don't see and feel things the way you do. But, it's easier to relate now.

Progress with the psychiatrist.. it helps to talk about things.

And I think I'm on the water wagon again, even though alcohol at times is a good thing to relax with.

In short, I'm feeling more love, less other things. :)

[Later..]

Which reminds me, I talked to an old friend on the phone the other day, he's almost deaf on one ear, so there was some confusion and I asked if he was using the wrong ear.. to which he replied and asked if I had taken my pill today. Hehe. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [26 Nov 20:26 Europe/Oslo]

I've been mad for years..

..the start of a Pink Floyd song goes.

Mmm, I've been pretty out of it, I know. And it's weird to look back at.

Things are going pretty good these days, but there are still (very) up and down moments. I plump out into some things, but hey - I have to find a good footing.

It is strange how one can get used to being a bit mad.

I've been a bit sad lately too, feeling that I've wasted a lot of my life on "pain", and lost a lot of happiness.

On the other hand, I know how easy it is to be out on the edge, something a "normal" person would have problems relating to and understanding.

I see things differently now, that's for sure. I think I'm looking for something I can be really passionate about. And still have a family life.

1,2,3 .. and 3.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [17 Nov 19:42 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Jonas Fjeld - Engler i snøen

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [11 Nov 19:39 Europe/Oslo]

Feeling much better, and normal

Well, well. I feel a lot better.

I feel normal; normal in the sense that well.. I feel a bit restless sometimes, and other times I feel like I can focus and think normally about things.

There are still some tendencies to panic attacks in the late morning, but I think that will get better. It's interesting that my psychiatrist wouldn't give me Valium, while a doctor would, and I feel like that helped a lot with the panic attacks.

I'm starting to see the experiences I've had in another perspective, and I can see why I feel this or that way, or experience weird things. Something to talk to the psychiatrist about tomorrow.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [10 Nov 21:50 Europe/Oslo]

Keeping track

So last Friday I bought myself a pill-box, which contains the pills for the day + emergency pills (Diazepam).

I think it works well, and I feel a bit more comfortable now, it's easier to keep track of things.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [01 Nov 20:12 Europe/Oslo]

A bootable USB stick with Linux

So, I sold my Asus Eee PC to my brother Tor Inge a while ago, because I wasn't using it much.

I had installed Linux on it, so it had Windows XP and Ubuntu.

Well, the machine crashed in some way, and required a reinstall of XP. After some fiddling I found that partition 3 had an XP reinstall set of files, and using it didn't work (maybe because of repartitioning the PC to use Linux as well).

Well, I searched a bit and found

http://unetbootin.sourceforge.net/ - a great tool to setup a USB stick as a bootable device. I'm currently installing Puppy Linux.

And on a related note; pendrivelinux.com sucks, it seems more like an advertisement trap than something that can help you get install bootable Linux on a USB stick.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [01 Nov 12:30 Europe/Oslo]

Met the kindergarden people

This evening Hilde and I met the rest of the kindergarten people; parents and employees.

Nice, relaxed gang - good humor. And it looks like they have things in order when it comes activating kids and giving them healthy food.

We joked a bit about NAV (the people that have taken their time getting me my sick-leave money which should arrive shortly), but all things considered, NAV works OK but slow. And they could definently get better at *informing* users about what's going on. That's a service thing they should be able to do.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [28 Oct 21:52 Europe/Oslo]

One-sided

Today I got up somewhere around 7, with Isak. Gave him some food and enjoyed the first hours of the day.

Then I read a bit in various online newspapers and read some articles that annoyed and affected me. I see people in Norway believe in the death penalty for some crimes, and that's a bit scary. But I think those people are a small minority.

After that, Hilde and I argued a bit about things that needed doing, and who does what it in the household.

I started feeding Isak and relaxed a bit and thought after; I think Hilde and I's biggest job is communicating better and breaking out of negative patterns. So I made some good points and saved the day.

In the process, I could also feel pain in the left side of my body; in my chest, my chin, my leg. Usually that pain would scare me and set off some negative cycle of working too much, exercising or just stressing, but now I was able to just let it hurt a bit and control it.

Left/right balance has been a theme for me, I was talking to the chiropractor yesterday and she gave me some new exercises; there has been the matter of one side of the body being stronger than the other.

I wonder if that has something to do with the mental issues as well; IIRC, the left hemisphere controls the right side of the body, and vice versa.

Oh well, we're off to the photograph, to see if any of the pictures we took were keepers. But I doubt we'll have any, as it costs way, way too much to get a CD with high-resolution pictures.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [28 Oct 12:16 Europe/Oslo]

Big leap

So I made a big leap today, in telling how I think and feel about things. I think the good doctor pushed a bit as well, to see.

It's weird with this thing, feeling and thinking the wrong way. But I feel it's really getting better.

I had to lie down for half an hour when I got home, it was that taxing. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [27 Oct 16:14 Europe/Oslo]

Idle time

So, yesterday I had a small serving of cognac. I felt thirsty, thirsty for something strong.

Not exactly cognac, but maybe Irish whiskey, Italian grappa or something along those lines.

But, I only had cognac. So I drank for a little while, but it wasn't tasty.

Before going to Spain a little over a month ago, I hadn't had more than a couple of beers in the prior months. When in Spain, do as the spanish (visitors) and drink. So there has been some drinking.

Well, the first time I drank in Spain it was nice and fun, but I didn't get much out of it after that.

I think I have a better time when I'm not drinking.

So there has been some political discussion lately, about opening hours for pubs, discos and the like. Like cutting the opening hours by one hour.

I also see that there are 3000 people in various places in Norway waiting for a nursing home place. The old, disabled, blind etc.

It would probably be a politicians wet dream to be able to cut one hour of opening time Friday night, and have people work taxable work 2-3 hours on Saturday instead. And also avoid having one-day sickleave from work, due to hangovers.

If you take maybe 100000 people, have them work 2 hours extra each week, and the money saved by lowering costs through less police, less injuries and less crime.. it could be big numbers.

Anyway, the problem I guess is cutting public bar opening times, and then getting an illegal market which isn't taxed at all. People want their fun, after all.

It's sad to see these old people not getting help, because there isn't enough money. But politics is about prioritizing money, so one can't have everything.. I guess.

We've adapted some continental (southern Europe) drinking habits in Norway, but the problem is that a lot of people go binge-drinking during the weekend; a little alcohol combined with food is (from what I can tell) good for you. But for some reason we have a need to get shitfaced during the weekends.

As I got more established, and others I know have done as well, there has been less time spent partying, but there is still the occasional binge for most people.

I think my life is better when I don't get too drunk, or drink too often. And it's easy to "hit oneself" with the bottle and end up on the wrong side of use, abuse.

I think it is culture, and then bad habits formed as a result of that culture. And I know a little about intoxicant abuse; it's just a bad habit or self-medication that makes you feel worse.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [26 Oct 14:14 Europe/Oslo]

Making good ground

So, today I have an appointment with the psychiatrist again, first time in well over a month.

I've been able to relax during the vacation, and reflect. So I went on and on about thoughts and such, the "hour" we had went by pretty fast.

I'm happy with my psychiatrist, but I think I want things to progress faster, so I might use a psychologist as well. I see they have different lengths of psychological education, so it might be worth doing both.

I don't think I'd be as normal as I am now, without the medicines. But it looks like I'm getting the money I should from the state regarding sick-leave, so I'll get a dash of cash where I can spend some on a private psychologist. 1 hour, for 46 weeks, is 23000 NOK. I think that sounds reasonable.

The question will be if the psychiatrist and psychologist can work in paralell, or even work a little bit together.

And that I can deduct on my taxes as well.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [21 Oct 20:24 Europe/Oslo]

Contacts

So I have a contact on LinkedIn that is a forensic psychiatrist in the UK it seems. So sometime in the future if I happen to be charged with something, I might just be said to haven been a cunning sociopath trying to make the right friends.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [13 Oct 18:35 Europe/Oslo]

An encounter with nasty

So, yesterday I think I slipped back into kind of a psychosis for a couple of hours.

Today I'm OK though, although I've been tired and a bit out of it.

Tracing things back a bit, I found that the last 3-4 evenings before yesterday evening I took less than usual of the Quetiapine, because there was some drinking.

Yesterday afternoon I forgot the pill as well, I don't know exactly why.

But, last night was bad. Not a panic attack, I think it was more of a psychosis moment for some hours. Chugged down a Truxal 15 and a Valium 5 and was able to sleep after a while.

But f*** me, that was uncomfortable.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [13 Oct 17:09 Europe/Oslo]

Used it twice (Diazepam)

So, I took another one of these on Thursday, and it helped then too. The plan was to use it max once a week, but given the choice, I took 5 mg.

Mmm, we've been here 3 weeks now, I'm starting to miss Norway. The cold weather, and firing up the fireplace. And good long walks.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [In control (Atom feed)] [09 Oct 19:19 Europe/Oslo]

An old joke

So, a long time ago I heard a joke about rather black people..

Here in the south of Spain, there are quite a bit of African people going around in beaches, restaurants etc. typically selling watches, sunglasses etc.

I guess some are immigrants, others like one we met yesterday are here for periods working and then at home.

Anyway, this guy we met yesterday came to our table while we were eating out late and it was quite dark. This gentleman selling was also quite dark, so the eyes and teeth become a contrast in the dark..

I a bit amuzingly rendered an old anecdote and the joke of what to do if robbed by a gang of black men in a dark tunnel (tell a joke and hit foe the teeth).

I thought a bit about it today and wondered if it was racistic to tell the joke; but I don't feel like it is.

These guys selling watches are 'cold call' sellers, and I can respect the honest hustle of selling things to make a living.

The guy who sold watches yesterday had a big family bacl in Africa, and was 6 months here and 6 in Africa every year.



[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [06 Oct 22:52 Europe/Oslo]

In control

So, I'm really happy about the Diazepam, it gives me control over the panic attacks, the last big thing that's really been bugging me.

The panic attacks and the anticipatory angst of a new one are a vicious cycle, and with other things such as psychosis and regular angst under control, it is possible to feel when panic angst is building.

As long as I have the Diazepam ready, I'm able to relax. Used it once so far.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Diazepam approved (Atom feed)] [06 Oct 22:41 Europe/Oslo]

And that's why you should listen to the doctor, not the internet

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_are_the_affects_of_Valium_and...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [04 Oct 21:50 Europe/Oslo]

Diazepam approved

Well, I had that panic-attack-could-come feeling today, so I took a 5 mg tablet. It took a little while before it worked, but I did feel better.

Lately I've gotten a thing against intoxication, but this Valium thing wasn't a "buzz", it was more of a calm and snooze. :)

Good to know I have this available now, I know the whole day and next day(s) won't feel like crap and then some.

I'd rather not take it, but snoozy and feeling OK is better.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [04 Oct 21:22 Europe/Oslo]

Final tool in the toolbox?

Todsy I got a prescription for Valium (Diazepam). The contrast between relaxing and enjoying the vacation, and a panic attack was too great.

I now have daily Seroquel (Quetiapine) - antipsychotic, Truxal (Chlorprothixene) - antipsychotic, but in smaller doses against anxiety and finally Valium.

I think I'll be able to use less Truxal now, as I have the Valium in the emergency kit. Both my psychiatrist at home and the doctor here in Spain made it perfectly clear that it is easy to get used to using Valium daily, so one has to watch out. And that using it too much was like pissing in your pants to stay warm.. Which has special connotations for those who live in .. colder regions. :)

Anyway, I'm set for cognitive behavioural therapy helping me with the panic attacks.

It's a balance, and it's a training deal.. I need to charge the batteries, as well as build up more mental strength. I'll be able to push harder now, and get well faster. And climb old mental walls.

Physical exercise and healthy food makes life easier, but in manageable and correct doseage. I feel it is easy to get in shape, I think that's thanks to exercising heavily at periods in my life, it comes back easy. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [01 Oct 20:29 Europe/Oslo]

What the..

So, I called NAV today, to follow up on my sick-leave money and the increase I was expecting.

I called the local office first, then I got a new number to call for the old office (Oslo).

They hadn't gotten the papers I sent in, and on it went. So it let it rip and barked a bit but was on topic the whole time.

So now I had to call the local office again. And talked to 2 people there about the papers and application.

During the process I got to learn about NAV and how it works, but what do I care, and why do I have to manage the application process?

I pay my dues, and I expect service, not a mess which sucks up my time and energy.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [30 Sep 13:42 Europe/Oslo]

Feeling full

Well, had some beers today, but poured the final parts of the last one down the drain.

That's a good thing, feels better now.. It didn't taste good today.

Hilde's parents arrived, which is cool. We're getting some time off as they care a bit for Isak.

Hilde and I are considering a day or two in Valencia, which is about 23 miles from here (Torrevieja).

IIRC, John Carew played some years for Valencia, and I'd like to experience a soccer match in Spain. I have a feeling it would be fun.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [27 Sep 18:50 Europe/Oslo]

Thinking differently

So I've started noticing more about how I think, and trying to be careful about how I think and what thinking/emotional paths I go down.

As I try to relax and think about how things have been, I am able to think at times that I am doing very well, given the starting point I've come from.

I think my problem has been that there has been a disconnect between my expectations of myself and reality.. with therapy and help now I think I should find some base level that I can build on.

Some structure and realistic goals is what I need. While I'm in Spain I'm not working (well, had to work a little, but that's the way it is) and just trying to relax and enjoy the vacation.

Walking every day (Hilde, Isak and I), and I think I should walk 2 days towards the evenings as well. It's about managing health and weight.. it's funny how that goes, one can dabble and drabble along and suddenly find that the sum of many things can be dangerous and then it might be too late (damage done). I think a lot of people fall into that trap, living (somewhat) vicariously and then getting a rude awakening.

I'm drinking a bit again, it's more of a enjoyment thing here in Spain. I've figured as far as drinking goes, that if i drink max 2 days a week, never get drunk and never drink 2 days in a row, things should be manageable.

That's the nice things about rules and structure, you don't have to watch and think all the time, just play along.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [25 Sep 17:28 Europe/Oslo]

A little setback - or glimpse of self

Yesterday evening I noticed I was daydreaming or having very "high" thoughts.

Which I didn't put too much into, but I noticed today that I was a bit out of it, and this last hour or two I got some real downer-time.

But it's not depressed, if I look at bipolar terms and explanations, mixed episode seems right. This evening I got far down and remember things negatiely and crisis-maximize it all and then my mind goes into hypergear.

But it's not as bad ; I am able to take control now.. as I tell it to Hilde and get some feedback. Maybe the meds help as well.

I think the daydreaming yesterday was some sort of escape mechanism, and I can get grandiose ideas and put a lot of mental energy into imagining and living in a dream - quite vividly.

Well, this vacation should be the first time in many, many years where I don't work at all and as Hilde says 1-2 weeks isn't enough to get fairly or completely unplugged.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [22 Sep 21:00 Europe/Oslo]

Roger, roger, roger

So, I've been through a process of medication, therapy and general treatment.

When I think back now and see how things have been, I've had some heavy problems for a long time.. why I didn't seek help I'm not sure of, but one can get used to pretty much anything.

Not seeking help sooner was stupid, but it might also be a part of the disease, to be alone.

Well, I should give myself a pat on the back. I've managed to build a million kroner business with a psychotic disorder.

To me, it makes the whole achievement many, many times bigger.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Work (Atom feed)] [15 Sep 21:11 Europe/Oslo]

Breakthrough?

Well last night, and this morning.. I feel normal like I haven't done in a looong time. It's weird, a bit scary.. but also good.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [15 Sep 07:46 Europe/Oslo]

Same-same, something new

Things are going OK these days, I've started doing some more strength exercise and keeping a very healthy diet.

I see the weight isn't changing that much, but the body is firming up, which is positive.

I've talked a bit to Hilde about what happened this winter, and after Hilde's observations, I got a lot better when they took me off the Zoloft. It's hard to describe what that Zoloft period did to me and I've probably forgotten/supressed a lot of it.

So I'm considering suing/raising a case for that specific medical treatment; if they want to cure or drug down patients with pills (which is cheaper) when it can have such an effect, they're also gambling a bit and should be made to pay when treatment goes drastically wrong. I got Zoloft "just like that" from my primary physician.

In other news, I'm doing the application for more sick-leave payment from the state in the proper way tomorrow, handing in some papers and documentation. I think it'll either be settled and I get the money, or we might try to get back a lot of the fees paid over the years to cover the sick-leave "insurance".

[Later..]

Which brings an idea to my mind. I think a lot of people in the psychiatric part of the health sector might be unable to fend for themselves, and maybe don't have the network.

It might be an idea to appoint a guardian to anyone who gets in touch with the psychiatry, so that the person's interests are taken care of.

I wouldn't have thought much about this Zoloft crap unless Hilde mentioned it to me a couple of times.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [12 Sep 12:21 Europe/Oslo]

New beginnings

Things feel good today. Lately I've been able to relax and just be myself. I guess I haven't been that way for a while.

Still taking "enough to knock a horse out"'s worth of Quetiapine, but the meds don't affect me as much as they used to.

I feel brimming with energy, and today culminated in a business idea where I have the concept, the name, the logo (and it's so snug). Just need the resources to get it developed and grown. Not sure it's a big-big revenue generator, but it's a cool thing.

Today is very different from where I was 1 year ago, 5 years ago, 7,8,10,15 years ago. It feels like an annoyance or disturbance has been lifted away.

I can feel, relax, laugh - all with a fuzzy feeling of chill. :)

Still some panic attacks creeping in now and then, but I'm able to control it. I think of them as things that must be combatted and just things that happen as I start functioning normally again.

Life is good. :)

2 weeks until a month in Spain. I'll try something I haven't done in 17 years.. relax and enjoy life for a whole month. No work, no stress.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [05 Sep 21:22 Europe/Oslo]

A little pharmaceutical hacking [Deleted]

This issue has been deleted, and was probably spam.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [18 Aug 19:45 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Talking Heads - Once in a lifetime

Bonus link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1wg1DNHbNU

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [18 Aug 18:01 Europe/Oslo]

Day to day survival

So, I've learned some tricks lately that can help with day-to-day living if you have serious mental challenges, either just in your head or also brought upon you by others.

It is easy to get stressed (and have a high pulse). One might automatically start doing something if stressed, such as working, exercising, drinking water, drink alcohol or simply just sit there fretting.

And then the alternatives for calming down are usually medicine. But I've found a better way which requires some work and focus, but it has worked for me recently. It is as simple as taking deep breaths (suck air down to the stomach area) through the nose, and then exhaling through the mouth.

I tried it yesterday, and it worked well. Another thing with these mental matters is that a lot of things feel real and scary, but there isn't much one can do to control them. So one has to "let go"; ultimately one only has control over one's own actions and thoughts (and not even that at times when unstable), and scary things can happen anywhere.. Best trick to deal with it is to take things at a normal or slow pace.

Another thing I've discovered (reminded by a psychologist who was on the morning TV today) is that it is good to take 10-15 or even 30 minute breaks doing nothing, between mentally challenging tasks.

Work for me is mentally challenging, and it feels better to do something with flair and pace and take a good break afterwards, rather than to .. sift through it. And what to do during those breaks? Nothing, just relax and let whatever that wants to pop into your focus do so. But the point of the break is to relax.

If you can't relax after doing some task.. then you have to analyze the situation and figure out why you can't relax. But I think that just relaxing properly for some days or weeks can help the situation.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [18 Aug 09:12 Europe/Oslo]

A little shop at the edge of ground

Ubuntu Cola

Went by a Fairtrade store the other day, they were selling Ubuntu Cola and I had to get one. Didn't cost more than in a regular store either.. :)



[Permalink] [By morphex] [Economy (Atom feed)] [14 Aug 20:34 Europe/Oslo]

Salt at 120 NOK (20 USD) per gram [Deleted]

This issue has been deleted, and was probably spam.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [14 Aug 20:24 Europe/Oslo]

A good day

So today was a pretty good day. Had a business meeting around noon with Dave and Stig, and the rest of the day has been some work, and relaxation.

I see it is windy outside, and there is even leaves falling off the trees.. Is it that time already?

As I eat healthy things, like fruit and vegetables, I feel my mind working better; it's good to be able to appreciate things now and then.

Work is going OK, we're doing some things that are necessary to run the business in a responsible way. Whatever it takes.

So I'm using meds; it's strange in some ways, the Truxal can take the edge of things, but I can feel the motions of anxiety/terror rolling through the body. It is strange.

Oh well, I'm going to relax some more, and try to go fishing more as well.. fishing is fun.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [06 Aug 20:45 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

The XX - Intro

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [05 Aug 19:27 Europe/Oslo]

Only have so much focus at times

Well, I've been in a slump the last week or three, some panic attacks and such that have been striking.

I think I've found the problem; the last couple of years I've gained considerable weight, and I've decided I want to shed some. At some point I think I got stressed and it's easy to forget things..

Being on the wrong kind of diet (too stressful) can get anyone off-balance I think, but I'm particularly vulnerable. It gets to a point where I forget whether I took medicines, forgetting to eat properly. I need to have a checklist for each day, as well as some log of what I eat and drink.

I've been through this before, but now with the meds as an emergency tool to relax and get a grip, as well as Hilde as a observant helper, I'm able to recognize this and do things to alleviate the situation.

When I think back, I think I might have had psychotic episodes before and times similar to the one I'm having now, but back then I just dug in, or ran away or hid in the computer and focused on web activities and work.

This time I had Hilde and Isak to consider, so I just couldn't run away. And maybe I was strong enough to take the fight as well.

I made an OK salary before I got sick last autumn/winter, and because things went as they did, I didn't get the right compensation from my company and the state (they run the sick-leave payment deal). So we pay a fee on each krone paid out in salary, and this gives some insurance in case of sick-leave etc. So it'll be a process to get that money which I think I'm entitled to.

Oh well.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [04 Aug 18:29 Europe/Oslo]

Upping the ante

So I talked to the doctor the other day, that the symptoms I've been having come and go, and I guess stress worsens them.

So we agreed to up the dosage, so I'm on 600 mg of Seroquel per day now.. I feel that it helps a good bit, and it gives some comfort that the dose can be increased still so that meds could help me with most of my issues.

I've found that smoking and drinking alcohol are really, really bad for me now, so I think I'll avoid those two things for a good while. I think I might have had my last cigarette, ever.

I've been using nicotine patches for a good while now, and they worked, but I've switched to Snus portion, since it is easy to dose and decrease, and at this point it is cheaper and easier to do the gradual nicotine ditch using Snus.

I think that says something, that a tobacoo with carcinogenics is cheaper to use than pure-nicotine substitutes.. and, nicotine is a poison, but I can't do the quitting cold-turkey, then I'd probably suffer a good bit.

It's established with the doctors etc. that I have a psychotic disorder NOS (not otherwise specified). So I'm told that schizophrenia, bipolar and so on are basically groups you fall into, once a given set of symptoms are reached. It is work from now on to see if I fit in a given group.

I have gotten some time to reflect the last months, and the whole experience since last autumn/winter has been.. quite an experience you might say. I see life a lot differently now.

At the same time, I feel a lot more like myself as well, at least I can relax and enjoy things now, if it is just watching at the trees and nature outside the window. Long story short, I was a propellerhead when I was younger, but when I entered into my teens I started having problems.

Work is going OK too, I'm able to work better now.



[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [31 Jul 20:35 Europe/Oslo]

Feet, don't fail me now

I went fishing yesterday with my brother - and caught a big pollock (4.2 KGs). You can see the fish head in the previous blog post, it was quite a beast.

I think it's the biggest fish I've caught from land, and it came towards the end of a rather unproductive fishing day.. I threw out a 40 gram Stingsild with a green back, similar to this one

http://www.solvkroken.no/media/42902/501107_400p.jpg

towards a sandbank, and let it sink (IIRC). I started wheeling it in and noticed there was something on, but I'm not sure it was that heavy to pull in to begin with.

So after a while it got closer, and I could see it beneath the surface and feel that this was something heavy. Shouts and hilarity ensued, and after fighting with it, I had a good-sized pollock lying towards a stone at the surface.

Kaye came to help out, and struggled a bit with the fish. As luck would have it, he got a call from his coming wife's mother, and chatted in the phone while struggling with the fish. He managed to lose the phone in the sea, and some moments of manic laughter from the both of us ensued, and then we got the fish up.

He's now one HTC Android phone poorer, but quoting him: "It was worth it".

We both forgot to pack a knife, so the usual, humane knife-through-the-skull-and-twist method of dealing with fish wasn't done, but we managed to let it bleed out so that the meat didn't get filled with blood.

After catching that fish we finished up, and went on home. The scale showed 4,160 grams - which we can nicely round up to 4,2 KGs.

Great fun, biggest fish I've caught from land, and it was a bit of a struggle so well worth it.

When I "did up" the fish and got about 1 KG of eatable meat, I also found a 100-200 gram herring in its belly, partially digested (some outer shells left).

So I guess he thought he'd be having dinner, but became dinner instead.

This was done while standing on a larger rock, maybe 2-3 square feet of standing space and rocks all around, it is quite amazing how one can do something while the feet and body are taking care of a balancing act.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [25 Jul 20:51 Europe/Oslo]

There's having your back against the wall..

and then there's having your back against the wall.

Severed Pollack head against wall


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [24 Jul 18:39 Europe/Oslo]

Logistics / Crowd Control

No description available No description available

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [23 Jul 21:32 Europe/Oslo]

Speaking of logistics

While we were in Mo i Rana last month, I bought (ordered) a new battery for my Nokia E 90. I'm not sure what the deal is, but that's a lot of room for a small battery.

No description available

The battery was plastered to the bottom of the box, where an A5 letter with "poppers" as internal packaging should do.



[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [23 Jul 21:25 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Atomic Kitten - The tide is high

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [19 Jul 11:50 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Eddy Grant - Give me hope Jo'Anna

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [14 Jul 20:15 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Eurythmics - I Saved The World Today

Bonus link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vueJNE3y0iA

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [11 Jul 18:11 Europe/Oslo]

Replay (come again)

Two sheep crossing the road

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [11 Jul 18:01 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Eurythmics - There must be an angel

Bonus link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8B8Y8seX7IU

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [10 Jul 19:20 Europe/Oslo]

At the road again

At the road again

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [10 Jul 14:36 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Eurythmics - Here comes the rain again

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [09 Jul 21:26 Europe/Oslo]

Good times

Life is getting a lot better these days, I think it helps a lot that others in the company are taking responsibility and me working less.

I've been using the Quetiapine drug for little over half a year, and as the doctors have said, it works better over time. It's probably the meds + the talks with various health personell.

This weekend there was a wedding, Hilde's sister Laila and Vebjørn got hitched. It was wonderful. And a great party afterwards to boot.

I'm getting back to my self, my feeling-better/more-than-ever. It's not a manic thing I think, there are just things that feel better and I can think and have fun. And laugh. :)

Well, there has been some social occasions the last couple of weeks, and for that I've been taking Truxal. There has also been some alcohol, but that's the way it is. I'm not sure if it is the alcohol or the Truxal, but something about those things fuck me up. So I'm thinking of asking my therapist to get me some benzodiazepines instead.

Those are a lot more addictive, but if they aren't too unhealthy and they work, I'd give them a shot instead of Truxal.

I feel things are going to be OK. I've been reading up on Schizophrenia and I'm thinking it could be process Schizophrenia (not acute or reactive) + some psychotic episodes. I read about it and it's aha, aha and aha again.

So, family life. I notice that there is a lot more logistics now, and that's fine. I work under the motto <joke>"If it doesn't fit, it isn't afraid of you"</joke>. :D

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [01 Jul 22:40 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Depeche mode - Enjoy the silence

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [18 Jun 11:14 Europe/Oslo]

My next phone, and Apple, HTC and TomTom

I've been wondering what my next phone will be, at times I've been tired of my old Nokia E90.. It discharges very quickly these days, I'm not sure why, it seems as if the battery started getting worn out after I switched to the Telenor mobile operator.

I've bought a 2,5mm to 3,5mm plug, and am able to use Spotify with headphones and it works well. Volume buttons inside the E90 enables music at the right volume.

My next phone.. well, I might just buy a battery for the E90.

If not, the match is between iPhone and HTC Evo 4G. I asked a salesman at the local mobile store, and he quite plainly said that unless you're an Apple fan, the HTC Desire is a good choice or another HTC phone is the best.

I've been looking at the HTC HD2 with Windows mobile, but he said it basically sucked.

I feel the iPhone screen is a little too small, and the 4,3" display on the GPS feels a lot bigger. Which reminds me, TomTom could borrow a trick from Apple and implement a keyboard and touch system that doesn't suck.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [17 Jun 21:56 Europe/Oslo]

A keyring pair :)

Two keyrings next to each other, one green with a grinning monkey and the text I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it and the other pink with a pig on a mountain of chocolate with the text Save the earth, it's the only planet with chocolate

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [15 Jun 14:41 Europe/Oslo]

Better days

I think I'm getting better all-in-all, finding it easier to relax in periods, and having some laughs.

It is strange, the things I went through this winter (which scared the bejesus out of me), and that I can feel that I get tired after being with people is kind of funny. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger etc.

To laugh a little or a lot at others' quirks and your own is good I think, and this mental thing is what it is. I think for the first time in 15 years or so I'm able to at least have some good laughs now and then in "normal mode".

I've switched a bit around on the meds, so that there's 100 mg around noon, 100 mg late afternoon and 300 mg an hour or so before bedtime. It seems to work a bit better, but I'm not completely sure.

I talked to the pharmacist about the meds and the side-effects, and told me to talk to the doctor. So I think I'll talk to the doctor soon about Seroquel XR, which is a sustained-release thing that works the same over (I think) a 24-hour period.

But that variant of the medicine is still patented (IIRC) so it's more expensive and requires some paperwork to go through.

It's fun to see Isak develop, starting to get some personality and teeth and whatever else. It motivates me to get a better health too, I'm eating more fruit and vegetables than ever before.

It's weird, I guess you want to stick around and see how things go, as well as to be there. I've had some thoughts about "the end", but I'm starting to reconcile with the fact that we all go in the end, and that you have to "carpe diem and plan for tomorrow."

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [14 Jun 19:53 Europe/Oslo]

Maki for taki awaii

No description available

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [11 Jun 22:23 Europe/Oslo]

Power 2 Power

No description available

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [11 Jun 22:19 Europe/Oslo]

Must... find... milk... Zzz

No description available

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [11 Jun 22:13 Europe/Oslo]

A daily treat with Quetiapine </sarcasm>

I'm taking Quetiapine 200 mg around lunchtime and 300 mg before bedtime.

It works fairly well - lately I've been able to think more clearly and coherently, but I seem to get some weird mental state after taking it
around lunch sometimes which is very unpleasant.

I'd describe it as a panic or stressful thing and I get dizzy - almost as if I feel drunk. It also sucks energy, I had to lie down and sleep for a couple of hours because I felt exhausted after the fact.

It sucks because for two reasons. 1) It sucks. 2) It can come without warning, some days it happens, some days it doesn't happen.

I think I'll need to keep a diary of events and nutrition to see if it is predictable.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [10 Jun 21:39 Europe/Oslo]

Moving the lawn (law'n'order)

So, I mowed the lawn today, with the new electrical lawnmower. Hilde liked that, I guess most women appreciate it when we men do practical things.. :)

Anyway, doing these chores gets the juices flowing. I had a dinner with Daniel Mikkelsen (http://dm.cl.no) on Saturday and we discussed some obscure heavy subjects.

It's interesting to see how development (understanding) is going in two ways, we find smaller and smaller things and build bigger and bigger things.

As Daniel said, you can't understand something bigger than yourself. Which is kind-of-true I guess. But we build societies and "grow bigger" and are able to, what can you call it, we're able to sustain longer, remember longer too as a society.

In Norway we have a social democratic politicial system, and the Scandinavian safety net and "jantelov" has made us more leveled-off I think. Progressing as a society.

Anyway, it's fun with the internet.. if we think of the nation as an organism, the internet is providing us with the neural network.

If you think about it, it is kind of funny. The nerves in the body are pretty quick, while the digestion/acquirements of energy and transport of energy and oxygen is slower. If wonder what the numbers are if you compare the body's nerve system and "energy handling" vs. nations and the internet and all that.

So, this capitalism thing. I haven't studied it but I guess I've "jukset i faget" and learnt thing from different perspectives.

The financial crises that have been are.. because of experimentation? Gambling? Greed? Lazyness? ...?

I dunno, but capitalism is, in progress-and-long-view-terms, a coopetition, where companies compete and experiment and serve as a transport mechanism and gearbox in society.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [10 Jun 13:11 Europe/Oslo]

Turbo-capitalist goes anti-capitalism

http://e24.no/boers-og-finans/article3686602.ece

This made me smiles. Spetalen, an investor well-known in the Norwegian media takes a piss at capitalism and that a few are holding a lot of the resources.

I think economies-of-scale, bigger-is-butter and head-tail thinking are something that used to work, but we've heard the wierarchy, peer-pressure-thinking and so memes going for a while now.

Information is abundant now, and it is getting harder and harder to keep "secrets", and I think the head-tail will be too slow for a lot of things.

It is interesting that a capitalist such as Spetalen disses capitalism and quite plainly says that we should never join the EU (because you can see how the financial things are working there at the moment).

If I could get an article like that every day with my morning coffee, life would be better. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [10 Jun 11:19 Europe/Oslo]

Bzzzzt

So, I've been reflecting a bit lately. Today was a somewhat stressful day, with some heavy anxiety or whatever it is during the day.

That's stressful in itself, but I managed.. I get easily annoyed and jumpy though, and I'm a bit tough in my responses to Hilde and I feel a bit bad about that right now.

But, down to business. I have this paranoia/conspiracy thing that comes crashing every now and then. Back in 2000-2001 or so, I worked with a company called Thingamy (now http://www.thingamy.com) where we were on some projects which didn't work out too well. I went out on a low note, on a project which didn't finish, because I (I guess), lacked experience and was under pressure so I kept making promises. Young and naive.

Well, after that last project I went back home licked my wounds for a while, and that last project had a lasting effect on me. I think I was burnt out, and I had acquired a bit of debt.

So, close to 10 years later that project still haunts me. 5-6 years ago I teamed up with David (http://www.aktivnett.no) for a customer on a site, and we started working together after that. The customer we met on in question had (from what I heard, a deal with a company the lead from Thingamy had worked with before).

So, I guess since 2002 somewhere I've worked starting my own hosting/development company, but for some reason I kept working on the same track on some of the ideas we worked on in Thingamy.

Well, today things came crashing back again, as the mailing lists on the Plone project (where the Thingamy lead again knows some key actors in the Plone head) were discussing licensing for the Plone project, where some finer legal details could hurt my company a bit.

Well, in my time I've done some dumb things, and I feel like that's being held against me now, as

http://yro.slashdot.org/story/10/06/08/2038233/America-Versu...

"Asperger's syndrome, depression, anxiety, and panic attacks" has something that could relate to my deal, which is that I have those symptoms, well, not so much depression these days. And there was this thing about keeping promises.

Well, I had the post with the number 3 the other day, and here comes one from Sigurd today:

http://blog.thingamy.com/sigs_blog/2010/06/three-types-of-ui...

Where I feel that the world is crashing in on me, and I'm impicitly pressured and threatened into working and inventing something related to user interfaces and that system without getting credit or paid for it.

This feeling is very real, and very bad.

Well, I've had some serious problems up through the years, but it was a little time ago that I heard about a, if you can call it that, prank, where the idea was to get a troubled guy who did something selfish to really suffer, without knowing what it was for.

[Later..]

I guess this sucky experience was triggered by a tall, slender white-haired guy who was (apparently) a bit drunk and eager to talk semi-good cuban or was it spanish to the storemen at the trainstation where I bought the cigars.

There has been people around me for shorter or longer time screwing with me I think.
  And I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [08 Jun 23:25 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Superchunk - Say my name

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [07 Jun 17:11 Europe/Oslo]

Ring, ring

So I decided to go for a walk today, getting back on the fitness track. Ate a salad for lunch, and started walking.

I was walking and daydreaming about this and that (to the tune of http://trololololololololololo.com/) the phone rang, which has the trololo tune as the ringtone.

It was Stig, and while we talked business I could hear the short beep for an incoming SMS message.

After talking to Stig I could see the message was from the answering machine service, and I called to check.

It was my "interviewer" from the TOP project, and I had tried to get in touch with her several times last week to get a copy of the report.

Oh well, all is well. Some minutes later I had to burp and out came 3 small chunks at high velocity from the lunch as well. You'd think the reflex is to stop burping, but I went on and 3 came flying out.

Anyway, eventful day. This evening we're rounding off the visit to Oslo by having some XO cognac and Cuban cigars.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [07 Jun 16:07 Europe/Oslo]

-

By: Erik E

<3

[Permalink] [By erik.enge@gmail.com] [ (Atom feed)] [03 Jun 19:42 Europe/Oslo]

Horsing on

Well, life is improving.. I think.

I'm on a good dose of Quetitapine (200 MGs morning 12:00, 300 at 22-23) and it helps, although some panic attacks and shortness of breath are side effects, or part of the root issue.

I've had some REALLY good laughs lately.. and today I had Isak for 3 hours while Hilde was getting her hair done for Laila's wedding.

It might be that I'm S0chizotypal:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizotypal_personality_disorde...

Life goes on. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [03 Jun 16:13 Europe/Oslo]

Some more impressions of the iPad

So, I've played a bit more with the iPad, and I'm getting comfortable with it. Discovered the Keyboard configuration screen, so I think autocompletion (auto-annoyance) should be better. I wouldn't mind autocompletion but I didn't like the way it worked and cludged up things.

I still think the keyboard could be better, I'm holding the iPad with both hands and typing with my thumbs.. there might have to be some special mode for that.

I've found two annoyances with Safari, one is that it doesn't scroll (some) textareas correctly (no scrollbar is present), the other is that it doesn't handle <iframe> elements correctly. Or, at least I know the iFrame and such works correctly on other browsers.

I see there are lots of apps, and I want to test many of them. In that case, the App store / iPad apps don't go all the way. I'd like to see some shareware-like feature where you can try an app for x active hours, 1-7 days or something similar.

I'd think that would save the app developers some time too, as they would be able to tick a box or two to enable shareware features, instead of building a separate app for demonstrations.

OK, the apps that demo one of their best features in the demo might come short, but try-before-you-buy.. that's something.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [iPad (Atom feed)] [08 May 18:01 Europe/Oslo]

Walled gardens, the pig in the river that ate its passenger (the pancake)

I am seeing bits and bobs about twitter, facebook and other user-generated-content sites.

It is the content that users generate and their inherent structure which provides exciting ways of mining new data.

I guess we'll see the UGC sites blossom, and like the pig that could've helped the pancake across the river, it would eat the pancake.. It is after all, a pig.

But the interesting thing here is user content. In the long run I think services like Facebook, Twitter and so on will be legally required to share their raw data created by users, and to do so at the same rate it would charge to itself, plus a markup, similar to how telecommunication companies do today when resellers renting access to infrastructure make money on top.

It depends on how these pervasive these services get I guess.. if you have photos on your machine, and upload them to Facebook that's one thing. Another is to directly tweet something or update your status.

I also think we'll see users wanting to be paid for their opinions. There are services out there today that premier you with points etc. for giving you their mind on things.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [24 Apr 19:52 Europe/Oslo]

This and that

So I'm still playing around with my iPad. I really like it.. downloaded a TV episode by the BBC about nature the other day, which is the kind of entertainment I like to see.

It's around 3-4 dollars for an episode of anything, and that's an OK price.. I've cut out snus now (taking one portion per day) and with those savings (15 dollars a day) I can instead spend it on content that I find entertaining and interesting.

I'm also trying to eat healthier, eating some fruits every day and a vegetable or two. And today we had fish sticks with potato, carrot and sour cream.. it was tasty, and I replaced butter on the potato with real virgin olive oil instead, the kind which is expensive and tasty.

Small steps..


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [24 Apr 17:32 Europe/Oslo]

How?

I've played with the iPad for a day or so now, and the thing I'm stuck with is.. how?

How are they able to make such a thin, screen, really - behave like any computer? It feels sleek, the on-screen keyboard works well. I've even seen heavy-duty 3D racing games where you move the entire iPad as the driving interface (steering wheel).

How, how, how? :)

Well, it looks like Apple are doing a lot of things. Making a (somewhat closed) content and application delivery platform, a well-designed (aestetically) device and a prong for web standards. It's also easily usable by most people I would think.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [iPad (Atom feed)] [23 Apr 18:19 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Jamiriquai - Virtual Insanity

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [23 Apr 17:07 Europe/Oslo]

Finally Friday - Beer madness

Beer, p filter

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Beer (Atom feed)] [23 Apr 16:11 Europe/Oslo]

My first iPad

No description available

[Permalink] [By morphex] [iPad (Atom feed)] [22 Apr 22:07 Europe/Oslo]

Annoying throat infection

So, I probably need to get some antibiotics for my throat, the sickness has been lasting for 1 1/2 weeks now and it won't let go.

Sickness has been going around in the family, and some have used antibiotics (Isak has started Clarithromycin today, and is already better, ate most of his porridge for the first time in weeks). (Later.. well, he still coughs, but eating more. Which is good).

But I see Quetiapine's effectiveness (rate of metabolization) changes when using Clarithromycin so that's something I'll need to talk about with my doctor (...).

I guess they'll need to do bloodtests and such, and the TOP project which maps psychosis-related things also does bloodtests - which is next week.

Well, I'll visit the doctor tomorrow and see what he says.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [21 Apr 20:43 Europe/Oslo]

Some blue prints

Was at the psychologists office today and we had a roundup-meeting with Hilde as well. We talked a bit and had a good time, while I was skribbling with pen on paper in between.

Skribbles on paper with a pen


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [20 Apr 15:55 Europe/Oslo]

Quetiapine (Seroquel) and herbs (mixing the new with the old)

I've been "coming down" as one might say in the last month or so, and in that process the last week-and-a-half I've been having a dry mouth and an ear infection, a runny and stuffy nose and a sore and try throat. And dry mouth.

Well, I've been taking 45 mg Truxal along with the 400 mg Quetiapine a day, and I've had serious problems with a dry mouth and throat. So I ditched the Truxal, and started drinking some hot water with either honey+lemon juice or Sage and Thyme + honey.

It feels like the Sage and Thyme with honey helps quite a bit, and it might even help me relax and soothe the throat.

I see that Sage is considered a drug once you put it into hot water and make a tea.. which is interesting. Medical use of herbs, who would've thought.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [20 Apr 10:14 Europe/Oslo]

Back to my (sensitive) senses

So, this last week has been weird, tough and good. The last .. half a year+ has been one hell of a, pardon my french, fucked up ride.

But it feels like I've come back to my senses, my very old self. And I wonder how long I've been out of touch.

Anyway, I picked up a clue today.. we went to a mall and bought some stuff, and I bought an FM-tranmitter, the kind you can hook up to your phone and get music on the car radio.

Well, the clue was, I noticed when I sat in my car that I could "lock up" and almost desperately try to figure things out and ignore anything else. So it is kind of a .. have to finish or get it right thing going on. Or have something to focus on. I could literally feel my mind and body revving up and staying there.

On the other hand, when I'm not doing much and "feeling more" I can get anxiety and that fall-asleep-and-you'll-die feeling.

So, that's how it is. But I'm optimistic and feeling that things could get better and more stable in the long run.

Oh, and the FM-transmitter hooked to my phone.. worked in the car, but the volume could be better.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [19 Apr 20:30 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Seal - Crazy

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [18 Apr 20:29 Europe/Oslo]

Unplugged

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-are-safe-ways-to-remove-ear-wax...

Is about removing earwax. Short story, a bit warm olive oil + one of those "ear cleaning bulbs" = win.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [14 Apr 16:38 Europe/Oslo]

Thanks :)

By: Morten W. Petersen

Yeah, feels like I've gotten my fair share.. yup, will call.

Hey, when are you coming to Trondheim the next time? We've got a new place, and I've got some rough ideas about brewing my own beer.

Not the atomic kind though. ;)

[Permalink] [By morten@nidelven-it.no] [ (Atom feed)] [10 Apr 20:41 Europe/Oslo]

Oy!

By: Erik E

Life is a series of ups and downs, we all go through them from time to time. Call me if you want to talk sometime.

[Permalink] [By erik.enge@gmail.com] [ (Atom feed)] [10 Apr 17:21 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Mary J. Blige, U2 - One

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [10 Apr 16:36 Europe/Oslo]

The week in review

This week has been OK, a bit tiring at times. Isak has been sick since Sunday evening, and he is still sick - but I guess somewhat better.. he's more active and responsive now.

It has been very tiring for Hilde, where Isak wakes up several times at night and pukes and eats. As the doctor said, puking might be because the mucus from the nose-and-throat region gets swallowed.. on a lighter note, Hilde's sister says kids who puke get well faster.

I've had an OK week, some stress with work and tiring that Isak cries and is sick, which makes Hilde stressed as well. But, Hilde and I had a good chat the other day and I think I'm getting better too.

Some late evenings I still get the dry mouth / swallowing / breathing anxiety, and an evening or two ago it felt like I could die or something if I fell asleep, so I laid there, tried to relax and fall asleep and then a jolt hit me when I was about to go to dreamland. {Later.. and that happened repeatedly]

But, talking to the psychologist and getting to know that this is normal is comforting, and I know I have to work myself through things, however difficult it may be.

Today we went shopping at IKEA, and bought a big, fluffy rug (in moss-/olive-green) as well as orange and black towels, some kitchen and eating tools and misc. other things. When the furniture for the living and eating room arrives, we'll have an India-furniture style going.

I'm also thinking of getting two big framed flags (for Norway and India), which seems fitting. :)


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [10 Apr 16:18 Europe/Oslo]

Food for thought (like fish in water)

http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/workabus.htm

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Work (Atom feed)] [09 Apr 09:36 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Abba - The winner takes it all

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [08 Apr 19:13 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Chamillionaire - Good morning

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [06 Apr 20:10 Europe/Oslo]

Rules of engagement (to whom?)

I read a bit about journalists and civilians getting killed by troops with what seemed as a just cause.

I haven't served, but I've had my own issues, and knowing that paranoia and delusions can really screw with you.

There was the case of the psychiatrist that went bananas last year and killed a number of soldiers on an army base..

There are rules of engagement, but what happens when those who are by any perception civilian are in fact masked soldiers? How would that be, day after day while failing on the line of goodwill can get you killed?

I know a guy that has been and is into army matters, and I can tell he's more on edge than the average guy. Not necessarily jumpy but apprehensive.

If someone of inferior force resorts to hiding-in-plain-sight to gain an advantage in war, then who is responsible for an increased number of noncombatants being killed?

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [05 Apr 20:43 Europe/Oslo]

Opera Mini, FTW

I've installed Opera Mini on my PC, while using the Nokia E 90 as a mobile modem.

http://my.opera.com/community/blog/2008/04/03/opera-mini-on-...

Using the microemu program, I'm able to use Opera Mini at 1000x600 pixels or so, see (clickable) screenshot:

No description available

On a separate but slightly related note.. why doesn't VG (vg.no), one of the biggest newspapers in Norway, have automatic go-to-mobile version of the site for Opera Mini et al?

BTW, Opera Mini is FAST, and great.  :)  The microemu thing doesn't steal focus, lock the keyboard/mouse or anything.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [03 Apr 12:31 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day (2)

Motorpsycho - Nothing to say

Bonus link: http://www.allthelyrics.com/lyrics/motorpsycho/nothing_to_sa...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [02 Apr 22:41 Europe/Oslo]

Viva La Revuliciòn

http://www.dagbladet.no/2010/04/02/nyheter/aksjoner/arbeider...

French workers are angry about their severance packages. I lived in France for a year or so while working on a project (which was a small, but in some ways also very productive disaster).

I learned un peu French, but spoke mostly English while there. I had my issues while I was there (had to pay some 2K EUR for a dental job, which was probably due to long periods of grinding teeth, i.e. angst and stress), but also had some moments where I got to enjoy the French way.

They have an excellent cuisine for example.

But, anyway. I remember one thing or story about the French, and that was that they were upset about some advertising campaign(s). So people went around and tore the ads down. I've found that amusing and appreciable. Capitalism in its most malignant form is about (cynical, careless) exploitation and generating money.

But, I guess things like this can scare investors and entrepeneurs away as well, if there are certain norms or preconceptions about how a company should behave, that should be in some regulation and known up front.

Being kidnapped and threathened in various ways is bad for business. Period.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [02 Apr 20:47 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

R.E.M. - It's the end of the world as we know it

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [02 Apr 17:46 Europe/Oslo]

It's not all about music

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boomerang_%28mobile_shooter_det...

Quite interesting application of hardware, software and microphones. I saw this on the Discovery channel. Ingenious really. :)

What a little math can do.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [02 Apr 16:48 Europe/Oslo]

Colors

Colors

In January or February (I think) I talked to my psychologist about having a couple of seconds where I saw red/green light flashing (and nothing else, I think..  it might've been other colors too, but red/green was what I remembered).  It was a weird and scary experience, I can tell you that much.

It's interesting that they ran this article now.

I guess you can see where the paranoia and grandeur kicks in, and how weird it can be with these conspiracy thoughts and being surveilled/broadcasted in some way.

This experience could be a movie some day.  ;)


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [02 Apr 02:57 Europe/Oslo]

The walk

I think I'll go for a walk tomorrow, try to get somewhat into shape. 1-2 walks a week is a high enough goal for now.

Things feel OK, although I guess it is hard, I don't know if it is because I'm depressed or something else. Been pretty drained for energy the last 7-8 days.

I feel more normal, no that's wrong, *different* than I've felt in the last 6-7 months, and maybe for some years. This feeling of being burned out or something is there. I've been in the TOP project for a while now, where they map psychosis and such, where I answer questions in a structured interview.

Work is what keeps me going in many ways, it is good to have something to do. And the joy Isak can bring, even through an MMS message from the mountain. He's a cute kid, and brings me great joy. Even though I went through hell the last half year or so, I think maybe something has improved. I remember it was pretty bad and weird, but it is also a bit distant, maybe that's a coping mechanism.. forgetting the pain and stress. If not anything else, I'm in a system now where I could get some help.

I'm by myself now, taking a few days to wind down while Hilde and family are up on the mountain.

I need to find something fun and not stressful I think. A hobby. Whatever that should be I don't know. Maybe start reading books.

Playing Call of Duty is not as much fun now as it was some weeks or months ago. Maybe that's the meds.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [02 Apr 00:30 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Queen - We are the champions

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [01 Apr 14:30 Europe/Oslo]

To good health, no recoil

No description available

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [31 Mar 18:41 Europe/Oslo]

So.. LIP

I'm back on the ground in some ways, but still feel stressed and tired.

I don't know if it is the disease or something else, but the half last year or so I've felt surveilled and manipulated. Where I am now, I know it seems far fetched, and it could just be me going into a negative cycle.

But, as these things go, I'd just like to say that my phone could have been eavesdropped/controlled (for a long time) and my computers also surveilled or controlled, and my input from the world (stuff I read and see on the net). I guess I've dumped enough of the threads that needed nesting to someone to make a rope and hang me with, but so be it. Accidents happen etc. So if something interesting happens in the future, I've probably said the wrong things or spoken publicly about something I shouldn't have.

Don't trust anything except what you can see me say in person. :)

That said, I'm having a hope that this could all resolve and be done with, and that I could get some sort of diagnosis on what are very real psychological issues. And that's perfect if you think in the paranoid sense, as it in many ways can discredit me.

I kind of jokingly thought I could go into politics, but where I am now.. if I get a diagnosis, I could go back to studies, and study something really interesting. Or, I could just continue working and fiddle with things on the side.

Art has begun to interest me more and more, so maybe something like that. But one has to make a living etc.

So we'll see. Now there's springrolls and cider.

Happy easter. ;)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [31 Mar 14:30 Europe/Oslo]

Aftershocks

So, I've been reading up on various mental things on the net, and figuring I have something like PTSD now:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posttraumatic_stress_disorder

Which is interesting, since I know the feeling I have today from earlier in my life. I don't know where I got into this track I've been in, but anyway. Feeling like you're going to die for a good while kinda sucks.

Stress and such, well there are different kinds of threats. With this condition I have, whatever it is, I guess I've always been quite sensitive to what other people want and need.

So I think I've treated the people in my company pretty well, not laying too much on them, and at times handing out a lesson. I know this past half year has been tough on "my crew" but I've been having it tough too, so now we might get to wind down the next month. I see people performing well now, and it is good to see that the time and effort I've invested is rewarded. I know some people might prefer to break people down with techniques such as Gaslighting:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting

and

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_torture

But that's not my style. Think of it.. with the web things can be setup and changed without a trace. And you have no physical wounds or traces to show..

Interestingly, my psychologist has spoken to a friend I know about my history, and things were taken up there, things I didn't remember. So he said it might just be a misunderstanding too.

Anyway, this paranoia/schizophrenia/bipolar thing. The meds help, but right now I'm at a place emotionally where I've been before. So I dunno, things are taking their time. I'll relax now and try to do as little as possible and just get better.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [29 Mar 22:32 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Dire Straits - Walk of life

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [29 Mar 00:23 Europe/Oslo]

So so, getting better, getting worse

Lately I've been getting better, but there has also been some major holes in the road. :)

But, I can feel again now. Feel more than I have done in a long long time. Cuddling for example feels great now, compared to one year ago. And I feel more around anything, really. It isn't just going through the motions any more.

As the psychologist said, I've been going around in my own bubble for quite some time (think 10-15 years maybe) and that's true. I've been out of touch with my emotions.

I can feel the anxiety sneaking up on me when it gets closer to bedtime, but it isn't so bad now, probably because I've been taking Truxal again.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [28 Mar 23:42 Europe/Oslo]

Mam, is that for attention, distraction or destruction?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/terrorism-in-the-uk/7...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [28 Mar 17:55 Europe/Oslo]

Shopping in E major

No description available

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [28 Mar 17:37 Europe/Oslo]

Better shape up

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4n0la_k-DU

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [28 Mar 11:44 Europe/Oslo]

Man's best friend

http://www.israeldogs.com/

I'm still thinking of getting a Mops.. they're cute but I guess prone to various health issues. Not sure how a toddler would treat a small dog like a Mops either.

Dogs are easily trained, for an OK years salary cost here in Norway a dog can be trained to assist a blind person too. We're probably going to build a website for something related to that soon BTW.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [27 Mar 19:16 Europe/Oslo]

Culture remixed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLkOYHYQ2tc

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [27 Mar 19:15 Europe/Oslo]

Isak done eating

No description available

After baby monkey has gotten his rice-banana porridge, daddy monkey can have his banana.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [27 Mar 17:30 Europe/Oslo]

Well, they can't even make drivers that work on Wintel

http://hardware.slashdot.org/story/10/03/26/2240250/Nvidia-D...

So it isn't a surprise that they have to prioritize. Some light could let their flowers bloom.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [26 Mar 23:57 Europe/Oslo]

Chasing the rabbit

Chasing the rabbit

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [26 Mar 23:52 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Pink Floyd - Another brick in the wall

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [26 Mar 20:51 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day (2)

Motorpsycho - Feel

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [26 Mar 20:45 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Pink Floyd - Coming back to life

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [26 Mar 19:58 Europe/Oslo]

An attacking panic

So, yesterday I had a panic attack. A pretty bad one. :)

It started around 22:30 I think, because my mouth gets so dry from the meds. So I started compulsively swallowing, and getting stressed out.

I've recently upped my meds, from 300 mg a day to 500 mg a day. And I find it strange that the doctor would let me make a 200 mg jump just like that and not 100 mg.

Anyway, so this panic attack started, and around 22:50 or so I think it got really bad. To the point that I was wheezing like I had been running and getting a panic. The feeling that I might choke up and die was there and very real, and I considered calling 113 (911). But then Hilde organized things and I was able to take a taxi with Vebjørn down to the health emergency center.

So, for 20-30 minutes (at home and on the way to the hospital) I had a feeling that death by choking could be imminent, and there was panic, numbness in my hands and dizzyness.

I felt better when I arrived at the emergency health center. I knew there were doctors and such there who could help me.

So I talked a bit to one of the nurses after a while and got to stay over there during the night. Got something to help me sleep and in the morning I talked to a doctor about what happened and was let on my way.

Today I've been feeling a bit tired, but relatively OK. Hilde says I look serious.

The scary thing to this compared to the radiating angst thing is that lately I've begun feeling what you could call normal, with a somewhat normal range of emotions. But that angst/choke incident was scary as FUCK.

[Later..] And funnily enough, the dials you have to punch to get a direct taxi order is 119.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [26 Mar 19:32 Europe/Oslo]

111

p f
p p


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [24 Mar 20:38 Europe/Oslo]

Some thoughts on the Data Retention Directive

I know a guy and some people who are against implementing the DRD (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Directive_2006/24/EC) which will enable storing of communication etc.

Here's the 'sign on against the DRD page'

http://stoppdld.no/kunnskapsbanken/folkets_horingsuttalelse/

The arguments against it are pretty good, that it violates privacy, treats everyone as a suspect, that it creates false security because criminals can circumvent it and that it opens for massive surveillance in the future.

I see EU member states that have gone above and beyond the DRD, and you have to wonder why. If you think about it, the order of events on copyrighted material being shared and not much being done to compete with it / making a viable alternative is odd. There has been filesharing tools and systems out there for a long time which distribute the bandwidth load of music and other media.

And the argument that it can be used to track terrorists is pretty moot. All you need as a terrorist to circument it is a plan and a watch. What you could stop / discourage is potential cross-border recruitment

Storing surveillance for 6-24 months.. well, for stopping serious crime (abuse, molestation, bodily harm, murder) I'd think that is OK.

Usually the investigators have to deal with things as they are and nature itself (evidence). Here we're defining the "law of internet nature".

Once you get the legal right to surveill someone, you can store pretty much anything you want and keep it running until you get the criminal charged for something, or delete it after a given amount of time if there is no reason to suspect something.

If you get a conviction, that data can the be used together with heuristics, and you have programs running in the system that scan and monitor for other possible offenders.

When you do something criminal I guess the law of chance applies to whether you get caught. Maybe these systems monitoring the flow of randomness in them so that one isn't continually being surveilled.

But, the system. I think a system that monitors everything and uses heuristics (not people) to scan for potential offenders is interesting. And once you get to a level where you are "tagged", a person can come in and get anonymized and relevant data and decide further action. The access control to the monitoring data would have to be superb. Access logs, encryption etc.

Today the scanning function is pretty much cops driving around in cars and civil/uniformed cops going around on spaces. What is a public space on the internet?

Oh well, time for bed. More thoughts later.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [24 Mar 00:04 Europe/Oslo]

CO2 cleaning

I see the policital party SV, a party far on the left side. And when I say that, the party on the furthest right in Norway is socialistic compared to the Democrats in the US.

They're pushing forward for CO2 cleaning on a gas power plant (and more) in Norway to the tune of 27 billion NOK (some 4.5 billion USD).

I'd say go for it. And it doesn't have to be a Norway-based company either.. take some of the oil money (pension fund), invest in research and development.

Build business in the less economically developed parts in Eastern Europe, own the company and share the risk with the local government, local investors and others. Economic inbreeding isn't a good thing IMO.

It isn't necessary to have the company/companies in Norway. With ownership there is still a nice profit to be made.

The climate reports etc. done by the climate panel are I think, pretty solid, and if we have to fail, we should fail on the side of caution.

And we, in Norway, have a moral obligation to clean up CO2, as we've been made stinking rich by oil.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [23 Mar 18:45 Europe/Oslo]

Nice

I'm liking Høyre (Right)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conservative_Party_%28Norway%29

more and more. Today Erna Solberg

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erna_Solberg

talked about centralizing of some cancer operations, as those local hospitals that only do a few each year don't get the necessary .. 'pace' to keep up their skills, thus increasing the amount of things that can go wrong.

She said that if people were given information about this when deciding where to get an operation, the choices would be pretty clear.

I guess this would centralize and save money too, so it's a win. Acute things, local hospital. I guess most cancers don't kill that fast.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [21 Mar 21:10 Europe/Oslo]

Wrong point of failure

I read this piece on slashdot:

http://yro.slashdot.org/story/10/03/19/1928244/Company-Sued-...

Where a guy sues (and wins) because the tablesaw manufacturer didn't include a patented feature, which would be making the saw more expensive and in some ways less practical to use and prone to break, costing in repairs.

Here's a choice comment:

http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=1588948&amp;cid=3154...

"Table saws, at the best of times, are what guys who work with power tools like to refer to as "fucking dangerous". There are ways to certainly manufacture safer saws, but no matter whether you're using some cheap $200 bargain basement table saw or a top end unit is that you never stand in front of our behind the saw blade and just as importantly if you're ripping small pieces of wood, you don't feed them in with your hands. This is a good way to keep your hands intact."

Yup. The thing is that different table saws have different features, and some might find a safety mechanism off-putting.

My company is kind of a hybrid between being a producer and a retailer. We produce (create) things for the customer, as well as resell some things.

We've learned some things along the way, and one thing is (data) security. When offering something to a customer, we need to tell the customer what the security implications of each (hosting package) choice is. Although we need to get even better at informing the customer about it.

Some things are cheaper, but also less secure. Some things are more bare-bones, unsecured and powerful but also more expensive. And yet other things are secure, powerful and comprehensively packaged.

You'd think at least power tools manufacturers (and the likes) would agree on some, if not standard rating, standard categorization of security features.

Then you'd have a brochure, or something the retailer could compile and print and give to the customer and/or discuss. Which would enable the customer to make informed decisions.

Or, some 3rd party website could evaluate products in that particular market and give ratings and such and derive revenue from ads or referrals.

Yes yes, the potential for 'raw deals' in 3rd party websites could be something, but then there's the law, putting persons' life and health in jeopardy and the red face factor.

I'd lean towards secure products every time I think. Unless I really knew what I was doing.

And it would bring the right focus on things, namely life and health. It'd be a positively twisted competition.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [19 Mar 23:57 Europe/Oslo]

Isak in the baptizement dress

No description available

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [18 Mar 21:23 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day (2)

Queen - Too much love will kill you


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Work (Atom feed)] [18 Mar 15:10 Europe/Oslo]

Aspergers

So, I've read a bit about Aspergers today, and that seems to fit my way of being pretty well. I also see that Seroquel which I'm taking has had a good effect on Aspergers too.

But I see also on the net that you could be diagnosed with both Aspergers and Schizophrenia.

I mean, I hallucinated in November I think it was and saw a globe that spun above me (while I was lying in bed) which I could touch and it glowed of red almost in a magical, hedonic or evil way. I also for a second saw an item in our home as something else. Sometime after new year I thought some low-clicking noise (in a sense modem-transfer-noise) from the phone triggered something in me that gave me negative thoughts and .. "visions". I call them visions because they aren't hallucinations i.e. something that is like any object you see which seems real. They were more like.. what you can get if you play a game all day, you still see the game playing when you close your eyes, but it is also a bit more .. creative/uncontrolled/mixed together.

And that feeling of radiating angst or whatever out of my body was.. on a scale from 1-10 of fucked-upness.. A 9.5 I think.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [18 Mar 13:50 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Paul Simon - You can call me Al

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [18 Mar 13:06 Europe/Oslo]

A good day

So, today I had a good day. It started out good, then at around 1700 it was a bit difficult (tired, annoyable) and a bit struggling on the social part.

But I was able to pull myself together and keep going. So, I'm feeling so much more .. good and relaxed, and a bit more human.

I may be a bit cold and calculating at times, but I guess I've been burned enough times and struggled so much that I've had to think hard to be able to function and exist. And running your own business makes you understand that you have to decide and move on or sink. During my psychosis from before Christmas to over new years I wondered if I was a sociopath or something like that.

But I've looked at the traits of sociopaths and I don't score high so I think I'm OK. I have difficulties watching things like "Norwegian talents" (similar to Idol or X factor except it accepts all kinds of weird acts). Anyway, I have difficulties watching that and soap operas and whatever, because I become so embarrased over difficult social situations. And I can get teary eyed watching some programs.

But, I wonder if I've been exposed to people with sociopathic traits, or people who can put you down and make you very self aware. And it might be that I react without knowing sometimes when I'm in the presence of sociopaths.

When I think of it, I think I've met some and may have even been burned by some. But that's part of growing up too, you learn and move on. I saw an old program on NRK via streaming where there was a psychiatrist who said something like "I'd rather have a sociopath than a softhearted person if it was about sending away a bomb while at war" or something like that.

So sociopaths are everywhere I've read, and I guess it must be a different life experience.

There was a blog post I read during my desperate-quest-to-figure-out-myself during the psychosis too, which said that everyone is a sociopath, you have the winners, the ignorants and the losers. That's funny, and it might even be true. I guess all people have someone to "look down on" if you think about it. And with the selfish-gene theory, yeah.. Oh well. I experience warmth and care now from Hilde's family and get something good thrown at me or after me every day, so I think there's hope. :)


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [17 Mar 19:24 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

The Midnight Beast - Tik Tok

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [16 Mar 15:01 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day (2)

Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton - Islands in the stream

There's another good cover of that song:

Bertine Zetlitz - Islands in the stream

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [15 Mar 17:27 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Pink Floyd - Comfortably Numb

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [15 Mar 14:48 Europe/Oslo]

Filling in the pieces

So, I'm playing along with the Schizophrenia theme, and have been reading up a bit about it.

On this page:

http://schizophrenia.com/hypo.php

There was a nice "flow chart" of how Schizophrenia develops. I looked at that page a week or so ago, and it stuck to my mind.

Today there was the baptizing of Isak (which went well). Afterwards there was dinner, and I had to make a little speech. Which was very short, and I could feel my hands shaking for 5-10 minutes afterwards. :|

Anyway, down to business. Later we went to Hilde's parents place and had coffee & cake. So far so good.. but after some time I started thinking negatively and with anxiety and shame for my lack of ability to cope socially. What had been an OK or good day turned bad. And things in that light of negativity became bad, so that the whole day felt rotten and shitty. In such a cycle there seems to be some emotional hyperfocus, where I can tell exactly what's happening on the social/personal level between people. So, I guess that's a feature, at times when I'm tense or focused I'm easily able to tell what's happening by reading facial expressions and other things. But at the same time, I'm bombing my own mind with negative thoughts and feelings.

But, I managed to pull things together afterwards, and had an hour or so with talk and such with others. I think I managed to pull together because, today, I have a fairly good life (status) and something to "brag about" plus 2 very important people (Hilde and Isak).0

But is this Bipolar or Schizophrenia? I'm not sure. I know now when I think back, I've had periods where I'm helpless and bomb myself with negative thoughts (it is hard to describe the emotional impact), but you can say that such a negative feedback-loop becomes so bad that you don't get sad any longer, it is just negative thoughts and anxiety and confusion, fatigue, agression and compulsion. And something negative said by someone else can be devastating, unless the "shield is up" and I press on no matter what.

Today had such a negative cycle that lasted for an hour or two, but the preceeding week or so had been fairly good, so I was able to be sad afterwards instead of just turning into some sort of emotional zombie where emotional and mental "noise/storm" was the result.

And I feel now that I'm exhausted. This crap can tear you down, time after time.

A coping mechanism I've developed since childhood perhaps, is that I daydream and think that I am great in some ways, and "read a lot into" things I read, hear or say. That's fine and dandy, but also a bit weird as there is a disconnect with reality.

So, I can dream and think I'm something, and sometimes those daydreams and perceptions can be good. But it is also a downside, as one of those negative cycles get really bad, because not only are things difficult, you "daydream" a lot of negative things too. So that life in essence becomes a nightmare you can't escape from.

And then there's the compulsion to fix things. Not myself directly, but I read, think and try to fix things and work on things. And then things that a "normal" person would see as straightforward I mull over and just about everything takes an effort.

I find the writing therapeutical right now and could've written more, but I have to go.

[Later..] Some units of alcohol later, things are fine and dandy.

And the negative self-bombing thing. Well, to explain it, things in recent events come back in a negative light, and then other things that have happened in the past also come back with a vengeance. Jokes, things I've said and done. It sounds like the deep depression thing from BiPolar. But the thing is I haven't felt very "euphoric" for longer periods of time, or at least I can't remember them as such.

I don't know if this rubber-band backlash effect is because of unprosessed (undiscussed) events or something else.

On 300 mg of Seroquel now, plus 30-45 mg of Truxal. I think that helps a lot.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [14 Mar 19:32 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Art Garfunkel - Bright eyes

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [12 Mar 15:23 Europe/Oslo]

Some human rights spanking from the US

http://www.state.gov/g/drl/rls/hrrpt/2009/eur/136050.htm

(thanks Chris)

I think racism (or "racial profiling") is a problem here in Norway, but that's the way it is. It'll get better. Prejudice, fear.. Stories about immigrants on welfare.

I don't know what came first, but I talked to a cab driver last year about things, and he said "it is YOUR culture, that's the way it is". That stuck to my mind.

If someone is steadfast and doesn't want to integrate, problems happen. And natives are suspicious and have a culture and set of norms already.

OTOH, you'd think the people in charge would do a better job at integrating immigrants. I see in some muslim environments there's work to make change and integrate, so I guess things are happening. And one of the Islam-values-fearmongering political parties in Norway are asking for more school-time in Norwegian. And more integration (understanding) is better.

I've had beers with muslims myself, and they were OK, if not a bit hard around the edges (which could be because of any of the things above).

(Add soap)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [12 Mar 12:38 Europe/Oslo]

Speaks volumes

http://www.boingboing.net/2010/03/11/leaked-documents-uk.htm...

The text on the page says a lot. I've been to London and worked for a little while in Guildford some years ago, and it was an OK experience. Brits have a good sense of humour and the hot chicks are REALLY hot.

But I see they're putting up cameras everywhere, talking about drones for surveillance. OK, in the interest of safety and justice..

But if they're going to experiment with those things, I think it is very, very important to make sure that free speech is cemented and celebrated at every turn.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [11 Mar 23:49 Europe/Oslo]

A pretty good day, yesterday too

So, I'm still on these meds, and it feels like it is helping. I've gotten some additional meds as well (Truxal) which makes things even better when I have to be social. I guess it also takes a bit of the edge off the Seroquel.

Up in Mo i Rana now, staying at Hilde's parents place. It's nice to be here, I always feel welcome.

It feels like things are improving, and I'll work hard (smart) to make sure they do.

One thing I'll have to deal with is getting more exercise. Had to get a new suit (again) last week. At a great shop BTW, "House of singles". Good service, although maybe a bit too intimate. ;)

Still need a lot of sleep though, it puts me off if I don't get enough.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [11 Mar 22:08 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Smashing Pumpkins - Bullet with butterfly wings

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [11 Mar 17:59 Europe/Oslo]

Plone in Brasil

http://www.brasil.gov.br/

Brasilian government on Plone. Bra as we say in Norway. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Plone (Atom feed)] [10 Mar 19:23 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Pink Floyd - Learning to fly

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [09 Mar 19:40 Europe/Oslo]

Chaw (Oliver Twist)

My oldest brother gave me some Oliver Twist last week, and I tried it and it was really nice. I've always thought of Chaw as an "old mans tobacco", but I guess I'm getting older. :)

I also see in the news that Phillipp Morris are suing the state because that tobacco is being hidden out of sight in places where you can buy it. I guess the best they can hope for in the long run is an inverse Streisand Effect where they keep (re-)recruiting some tobacco users.

I fell into the trap and here I am. Maybe I've self-medicated a bit with tobacco too, but anyway. Having tobacco on display anywhere is marketing, if you think about it. I think it would be good if we could get all .. "drugs" into some sort of system so that people could be helped if they fall too far down.

There's the choosing your poisons thing, but even if it is taxed, I guess the money could be better spent (and taxed/retrieved) elsewhere, there'll be less sick people and more money to spend on other, important health issues.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Business (Atom feed)] [09 Mar 19:28 Europe/Oslo]

Pink Floyd

I haven't found (original) Pink Floyd yet on Spotify, so I thought I'd give iTunes a try. And yes, there they were.. Pulse album and everything.

I bought the album and have been listening a bit to it today. I don't know, but I think Pink Floyd are truly some of the greatest ones.. great tones and interesting song names and lyrics. Some great puns in there too.

Some day I'll have to get a biig screen, good surround system and a high-res version of those concerts. Oh, I'd give a bit to get to go on a concert like that. There's a concept.. well-produced recordings of concerts with kick-ass sound. In movie teatres. And, the Dutch could RAKE in money. ;)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [09 Mar 18:59 Europe/Oslo]

A busy day

We went to the priest's office today, for the talk before Isak gets baptised. The priest was a nice and wise man, who talked about being a Christian was about the relationship to God. And that man acquired the knowledge of what is sin and isn't.

I've wondered lately, what else is there. Is there something beyond the physical boundaries. One can wonder..

He drawed while talking (upside down too), the image is scanned and below (I assume it's OK to publish it, since I got it after asking to keep it). He had a nice thread going through the conversation and went off track inbetween and made some interesting points. He also mentioned that it wasn't about indoctrination, I've had some thoughts about that before - but oh well.

But yes, a nice man - 65 years old. At the end I asked if he had read The Divine Comedy.. he said no, he had heard about it. But that his wife (who's into books) - probably had.

So, here's the drawing (click on it for a larger version):

No description available

On Sunday there's the baptizing, I guess afterwards - we'll eat cake - and maybe mom/mom-in-law can make some Waldorf-salad too.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [09 Mar 17:15 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Foo Fighters - Times like these

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [08 Mar 19:34 Europe/Oslo]

A good day

I got up early this morning, as Hilde was visiting a friend who just got a baby.

I was looking forward to today as Vebjørn and I were going to do a long session on Call of Duty. Which was fun, played for some hours but towards the end I got a pretty bad headache and it wasn't as much fun.

I've been getting better (I think) the last week, but I get easily tired, and there has been some challenging stuff relating to work too.

It is easy to get distracted from work, I think I have a bit of a messy head (and maybe always had) - but I'm going to bite my teeth together this coming week and get something produced.

This last week has been fuelled and managed with the help of some alcohol, but I'm not drinking tonight and will try to keep it to Friday/Saturday at the most. As "suggested" by Hilde. :)

I think part of my problem is that I can't focus (or not give a shit) and have problems concentrating. So I hook onto something and then analyze and think a bit and leave it.

I have some thoughts and ideas I'd like to pursue. But there is an underlying angst or paranoia of being ripped off or shafted in some way I think which makes it hard to do anything. First priority is NIT though.. it works and pays the bills. And we have some great customers. And it's my job.

There was some news today on patient care, was a guy with Pompe's disease (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glycogen_storage_disease_type_I... which required some very expensive medicine (in the millions per year IIRC). So, there is going to be a panel on what the upper limit is.

So this guy's lungs might deteriorate to the point that he will have difficulties or stop breathing. I can't image how that might be, and it is in a sad ironic way kinda like a lethal injection, except there you get knocked out first.

Tough decisions.. if you will/have cost too much we'll have to let you go?

Anyway, my plan for myself. To get a diagnosis and keep doing therapy. There have been glimpses of feeling good, perfectly normal and relaxed, that's probably because I've got to dump my thoughts. And maybe it is the medicine. Now the TOP project mapping will be finished soon and that'll give an indication of what it is (I hope). Work with NIT for a while, and then within a 2-3 years span put some plans and ideas into action, where I can take a creative/directional role as a part of a team.

In any case, habilitation and rehabilitation is one area I'm interested in. People want to contribute and feel good, right?

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [07 Mar 21:15 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Donkeyboy - Ambitions

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [07 Mar 17:28 Europe/Oslo]

Huss

So, suddenly the word huss popped into my mind. I googled it, but couldn't see anything definitive. I seemed to remember it was a word, so I went to m-w.com (a nice place to look up words), but it said it was only in the unabrigded dictionary.

And that costs 5$ per month. I thought, why not. m-w.com is a fine service and I can pay a bit extra.

Is kinda sucks that information like that should be behind a paywall though.

I have a plan...

:)

In not so related news, I was at the therapists place today. We talked, and it came up that I.. I think I have a somewhat negative memory. Earlier I blogged that I've always been a bit dietetically challenged, but we were up in Trondheim this week and looked at pictures, and there were many from my childhood were I wasn't obese.

I wonder if it has been some sort of very deep depression or something else, that has left a permanent imprint of some sort of thought.

I also seem to vex between different modes or interpretations of reality (3 at the moment), where some wacky thoughts pop up, and then it could also just be coincidences of events.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [05 Mar 17:54 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Donkeyboy - Sometimes

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [05 Mar 14:37 Europe/Oslo]

A light hangover

No description available



[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [05 Mar 14:32 Europe/Oslo]

Childish

We were taking the train today from Trondheim to Oslo, and talked a bit to a woman visiting Namsos all the way from Rhode Island (some 4 hours away from NY).

I asked a bit about "socialistic" health care, and she moaned on about the 2700 page document and people there being childish about their health care and the broken system that is. A self-perpetuating black hole for money, light and well-being perhaps.

One doctor had to pay 110K USD per year in malpractice insurance.. oh well.

I guess a system where the gap between people is so big screws things up. A capitalistic darwinism if you will.

Here in Norway I guess we have a fairly even spread when it comes to resources.. on the other hand, social pressure and social darwinism is a beast of its own. The angry birds pick 'til the feeling is gone.

The other day I was viewing COPS or somesuch, and saw some guy speeding away from the police in a car. Over gardens and driving like crazy.. he subsequently got out the car and started running. He ran for a while and got caught by the cop.. wrestled to the ground he responded to the officer, "Yes sir! No sir!". Well, I guess it is never too late for good manners. :)

[Later..] In related news, a police officer was killed by a speeding car around 3 last night here in Norway:

http://www.dagbladet.no/2010/03/04/nyheter/politijakt/innenr...

That's just sad. I don't know if most people recognize that when driving they're steering a ton or more of potentially lethal material at velocity.

I also read the officer happens to be the 10th officer killed in the line of duty since the end of WW2. 4-5 million people and 10 officers killed, that's pretty good considering I guess. The scary thing is that the pace has picked up the last 20 years.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [03 Mar 23:16 Europe/Oslo]

12 times

http://pomonahistorical.org/12times.htm

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [03 Mar 23:13 Europe/Oslo]

A downer and a place to live

So, today has been a lot of anxiety and negative thoughts.. Some breaks and we were looking at a new place to live.

I keep getting streaks of anxiety and negative thoughts, and once when Isak started crying I thought it was because I was having negative thoughts and feelings. That's pretty nuts isn't it? And I think I've had this before. Would almost be funny, if I wasn't anxious about it striking again. Which reminds me.. Last week I had an extremely tense and bad day most of the day but wasn't sure why.. I guess it was so bad that after taking my meds I couldn't stop smiling and chuckling to myself, without knowing why.

Anyway, the place we looked at was nice, with a nice place dowstairs with a fireplace. There is only one shower, and I've been dreaming of a room of my own. So jokingly I thought.. Why not get a 50 inch LED TV with, a Jacuzzi and waterproof PS3 controllers. Yeah, why not.




[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [02 Mar 21:57 Europe/Oslo]

Travelling

Travelling by train is a great experience, especially here in the winter. It gets dark outside and the moonshine (...) and lights from buildings and roads and snow make it a great experience.

The da-dum-dump sound the train makes om the tracks while the landscape whizzes by is comforting.

We chose a toddler coupe and met some nice people travelling the same way. Smiles and expressions of understanding as Isak was telling us off that something wasn't to his liking in his own way were nice and we had some good conversations.

It is funny how things change when you become a parent.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [01 Mar 23:59 Europe/Oslo]

New phone and personal progress

So I'm thinking of a new phone again, and the iPhone looks tempting.. My second oldest brother's clique are into HTC Hero and that looks good too, but the iPhone is sleek.

So, I think I'll go for an iPhone soon, it has a large user-base and good momentum so yeah.. it looks good too. And brownie points for drawing the line regarding child labour.

I'm looking at the Telenor pages, as I'm also considering switching from Netcom to Telenor (it sucks to be at a friends cottage up on Geilo without coverage). I had a GREAT time there this weekend by the way.

Anyway, in slightly related news (about my health), I'm starting to feel again.. I think I've been numb for a long, long time, or at least feeling and thinking something different than what's usual. It is good, but also scary. I had a dream while taking a daytime nap about loosing Hilde, and it felt bad, like it should. I guess it is better to have nightmares while you're sleeping and waking up from it, rather than going around in some kind of emotional veggie-state.

I don't know what the fuck it has been, but I know for example that I could've been in a state of paranoia/delusion for a long time, and at times when I have taken the time to face it, I could beat the bad feeling and delusions and have a glimpse of normalcy, while at other times I guess I've just "worked them to death" and run away from it by being a workaholic, an internet addict and trying to fix my nightmare-ish thoughts by shoveling imagery of crap into my head.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [28 Feb 18:39 Europe/Oslo]

A treasure trove for those with hidden agendas

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2010/feb/24/phone-hacking-sc...

As it breaks in the news that people are being wiretapped ilegally, here's a choice quote:

'No 10 also issued a statement, saying: "The scale of this is absolutely breathtaking and an extreme cause for concern."'

The internet and the phone business is a jungle, with smartphones and unlimited data plans become the norm. Who bothers to check their data usage if it is unlimited and doesn't cost more?

If you get in a piece of malware (piece of data, some 3rd party advertiser with malware etc. or simply an MMS with a virus) you could be easily cooked.

People with hidden agendas can build up a treasure trove of information where they can analyze you to a tee, or just see what can be damaging or embarassing. It is a literal front door to your innermost being, with things you might not even share with your closest friends and could be a place dump damaging information. On the other hand, people with hidden agendas could also manipulate the input you get, by seeing where you surf and what you read and make things seem different than they are.

I guess you should assume that you're always compromised and that people can see EVERYTHING on your PC and Phone, and try your best not to become a Person Of Interest.

The internet is a big intertwined ball of connections without borders, and I think Psy-ops could be the new tool of choice. If it hasn't always been.

That's the web, free, open and unorganized. But also an uncharted jungle.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [24 Feb 18:28 Europe/Oslo]

New (old) song of the day

Townes Van Zandt - Waitin' around to die

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [23 Feb 22:50 Europe/Oslo]

As it is

"They're fighting!", the man behind the curtain thought to himself as he was counting his chickens.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [23 Feb 21:15 Europe/Oslo]

A Saturday with chicken wings and cider

So, I'm on my 3rd pint of cider now, just relaxing on a Saturday. These last couple of days I've come closer to my real self I think.

I'm in the TOP research project now (http://www.med.uio.no/forskning/tematisk/top/), helping science with psychosis-related issues and the carrot is that they'll give me me an evaluation of what the possible causes of my problems are.

I've been at two visits at TOP now where they ask questions and such, the last visit was OK, but afterwards I felt a bit annoyed as if they questioned my ability to answer honestly. It is kind of strange when your state of mind for the last 10-15 years has been in a flux of sorts and you're asked to accurately define your experiences. Although this depressed, sad feeling I have right now is something I *have* had for periods in that time. I think it has been at times combined with a feeling of being exhausted as if you've just sprinted for a while without warming up first.

Anyway, since I started having big problems towards the end of last year I've been to observation, gotten medicines etc. and talked to doctors, psychologists and so on.

I visited some website about Schizophrenia last week and had an epiphany for an hour or two that "That's me!" but then it went away again.

They say Bipolar and Schizophrenia are difficult to differantiate, so I guess the gene tests and brain scans on the TOP project will give some hard data.

The latest papers from the diagnosing doctor says "Unspecified Schizophrenia" which as I've read also happens to be the most regular variant.

I know I've done some dumb things in the past, and that's to a lesser or greater degree grade my own fault, but it'll be good to get an explanation of why. Not an excuse, but an explanation.

I guess most people do dumb things in the start of their lives, and then it is the opportunity (obligation?) to turn things around and help others in trouble as well as yourself.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [20 Feb 14:51 Europe/Oslo]

Hm hm

http://www.gifthub.org/2010/02/arthur-brooks-to-head-up-amer...

"So what would be wise investor get as a solid return on that sound investment in public policy? Higher minimum wage, environmental protections, robust public goods, and greater social justice. Just kidding."

Well, if you're cynical I guess the right thing to do would be to make sure the machine runs efficiently (damn the consequences), or maybe the idea is to trim the bush. Maybe it is a reasonable thing to live without a safety net over your head, or not go to the Opera in Gotham.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Money says

"Economists assert that the largest transfer of income will be as the older generation leaves wealth to the baby boomers. Inheritance has been estimated to make up 6% of the US GDP each year.[10] The current generation is wealthier than any generation before. This increase in wealth and inheritance indicates a rise of "old money" in American families. Stephen Haseler argues that America is becoming an inheritance culture in which much economic opportunity is from family inheritance and not personal achievement.[11]"

Is the timer for the music for the chair game gaining on the end?

For those squeamish of bloodshed, I guess one can hope that international trade and the internet will create the internation. One can wonder where the power will lie.

As we reap the environmental rewards of past development, we can live longer, happier and things like that.

I think things will turn out all right.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [19 Feb 23:17 Europe/Oslo]

Moose-AD

Verdens Gang (Norwegian Newspaper) reports that two reindeer have been liquidated:

http://www.vg.no/rampelys/artikkel.php?artid=581763

No reports yet on whether this is a retaliation for recent events in Dubai, as a ploy to set a scare in Santa Clause's pack.

More in the news at 7.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [18 Feb 18:18 Europe/Oslo]

Thanks for being a catalyst, and sorry

I see you in the news these days, talking about these old, dated and wicked ways.

Who knows who, what or where made you this way, a fairhanded love IS OK.

We all have our role to play, yours is that you think you have something to say.

I can see the anger, desire and fright in your eyes, something you can't hide between the confounded lies.

Sorry my friend, the game is already won, now it's a question of minimizing the damage that will be done.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [17 Feb 20:24 Europe/Oslo]

Playing on

So I'm playing some Call of Duty these days, it is nice to have something to do, do something which isn't so serious and get an escape from the daily thought-mill.

I still think though, and noticed a couple of things with CoD which could be nice (if they're not already there).

One would be a mute-all button. The jibber-jabber various players is just distracting and annoying. And selecting mute on each and every one is annoying.

Another thing would be an even playing field for everyone, something CS-like.. where one could choose from a common set of weapons and not have any perks. And maybe a handicap if you've got a high rank. One would think the game hosts could do the numbers/statistics on kills etc. and give an appropriate handicap.

Could be more fun for everyone, or an alternative style of playing.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [PS 3, Call of duty (Atom feed)] [15 Feb 22:11 Europe/Oslo]

Hm

http://yro.slashdot.org/story/10/02/12/1323248/Warner-To-End...

Well.. when you idly sit by or whatever you do and let people get financially steamrolled I kinda question your ability to judge what a fair deal is. Although I don't know how exactly those financial things work in the US.

When the US went after a shuttle spy to set an example, they had the heart and brains to choose a guy who has lived a life.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [12 Feb 15:40 Europe/Oslo]

I-something

I got an iPod nano for Christmas from Hilde, and I haven't used it much so far. It looks good though, and I'm impressed they managed to get a video camera and playback in there. Nice design on the device too..

I've had a Nokia E90 for some years now, and it works OK, but I'm kinda ready for a change.. the phone is a bit slow, but I guess that's the OS.

I see Spotify is available for the iPhone now, and that makes it a bit more tempting to go for an iPhone next. A lot of my friends have gone for an HTC phone, and that HTC uses Android is cool.

Oh well, for now it would be cool to have Spotify sync against my Nano, but I guess that is a pipe dream.



[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [02 Feb 19:46 Europe/Oslo]

Virconomy

I guess for neverending unlimited economical growth, we need unlimited "resources". That's OK, because the resources we grow now will give us the unlimited, in whatever wrapping you may desire.

As Frank Zappa sang it, "I can take about an hour on the tower of power - Long as I gets a little golden shower"

Bonus link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gGbsAkYnfw

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [01 Feb 18:32 Europe/Oslo]

Moving forward

Today I had a pretty good day. Played some Call of Duty with Vebjørn, which was stressful at times, but it felt good afterwards. Walking a little and taking my meds helps. There was a Norwegian soldier who got killed a little while ago by a roadbomb.. it feels kinda lame in a way to play war games when I never was in the military, and seeing people make such sacrifices, but I'll try to contribute in my way.

It has been tough lately, but there are also good moments.. I'm glad I have Hilde and Isak, and Isak is starting to be a lot of fun where he responds a bit. Both Hilde and I think he looks like some character that could be from "Barne-TV" (kids hour on the regional broadcaster NRK). It is great fun to blow him quickly in the face, he gulps a bit, blinks his eyes and smiles. Simple joys.

I've found myself in a way these last months, gotten on the right track it seems.. atleast when I'm with Hilde. She's the CEO of the house, and that's OK. This is a good moment, but there are difficult times too, but I manage to feel good now and then.

Some years ago I did create lots of graphics with The GIMP, and I'm thinking of going back to that perhaps.. express things that are there in the subconsious. A bit therapeutic too. Maybe do some programming/graphical thing.

The meds are a story in themselves.. I don't know how long I'll have to take them (maybe forever), and in that case I'll have to cut down on drinking (which isn't a big loss). They drive up the apetite too, and that's something I'll have to watch since I've always been a bit.. dietically challenged.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [30 Jan 21:15 Europe/Oslo]

Hanging in there

So I'm hanging in there.. getting to talk to a psychologist and then later they'll do more thorough tests including scans..

I'm working a little, and it feels good to work a bit. Keeps the juices flowing as they say. It is good to get support, care and understanding from friends.. Dave (aktivnett.no) says that I should crawl-walk-run, and crawling seems about right now. ;)

The meds are helping, but getting a fix on "reality" is somewhat difficult. Some nosebleeds, including feeling, no, *being* knocked out and having a stuffed nose an hour or two after taking the meds are side effects. I tried drinking 2 pints of beer some hours before taking the meds the other day and had jello-legs when walking to the bed.

(The medication is a generic substitute for Seroquel, google it and see..)

I feel tired too, not sure if that's the illness or the cure.



[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [26 Jan 16:39 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

New Radicals - You get what you give

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [23 Jan 21:49 Europe/Oslo]

Logitech ClearChat Comfort USB

So I bought a new headset, as seen above. Trying it out and it sounds good so far. Haven't tried the chat function yet, will have to save that for later.

I think it cost around 60 USD, and it feels like a fair deal so far.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Audio (Atom feed)] [22 Jan 17:38 Europe/Oslo]

Well...

I've been big mouthed and arrogant at times, and venting on this blog...

I think I've got a problem with being easily .. triggered into saying dumb things, or saying things that could be misinterpreted. So, sorry about that.

I think I've been vexing between being anxious, focused, aggressive, arrogant (manic) and disorganised. And a bit too curious for my own good.

Sometimes I get things right and sometimes I just blurt out things..

(Later..)

Oh well, one lesson learned. Watch how much coffee you drink. ;) I'm down to 1, max 2 cups a day now.



[Permalink] [By morphex] [Meta (Atom feed)] [16 Jan 20:39 Europe/Oslo]

PS 3, Call of duty

Bought a PS 3 today, as well as Call of Duty 2. Going to play a little with friends and see how it goes.

Work is exhausting after a little while and surfing around on the net isn't that interesting either.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Games (Atom feed)] [16 Jan 15:49 Europe/Oslo]

Going on

So, life isn't easy these days, but I'm managing somehow.

They've got me on some meds which seems to be helping, but there are periods where it is storming inside, both in my head and today mostly in my torso.

Anyway, I'm jotting down some notes for myself for future art which I or someone else could do, images and "films" I've gotten in my head:

8 (8)

4, green hill, day and night, with and without nightvision

Radiant angst

Cliff, noose and safety net

The 3 flowers hanging their heads in the dark, violet/pinkish

[Later..]

Some more: stickman, cable/warp/"offshoot"

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [12 Jan 20:25 Europe/Oslo]

A helping hand

I was in a meeting today and got some talk therapy. It was helpful, but I still fall back into the negative thinking process which keeps on spinning.

Headaches come and go during the day.

I'm going to try to relax a bit now however, and watch Isak play with the set of babytoys, it gives some joy to see him all mezmerized by some hanging plastic things. Oops, he fell asleep, snoring a bit. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [04 Jan 19:03 Europe/Oslo]

Some good moments

The last 8-12 weeks have been tough, sometimes excruciating.

The funny thing about mental problems is that they're not easily visible. You can see someone is down and out, but that's about it.

Anyway, I'm getting these things sorted out somehow, seeing Isak smile and evolve is what keeps me up as well as support from Hilde.

It feels like I'm somehow (and have been for a while) trapped in my own mind, thougths, fantasies and nightmares and I get the feeling someone is pushing my buttons but haven't given easily traceable directions.

It's weird, time goes by for decades and centuries and things change, but it is still a game, a game of perception, illusion and invisible groups and dynamics.

Oh well, I think of myself as a metal box which has contained the blast.

Spin away... And keep notes.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [04 Jan 01:19 Europe/Oslo]

Revised plan

After sorting through some thoughts, I'm thinking whoever owns and runs Nidelven IT should have shares in the company.

Seeing how my situation is today, I'd be happy to help them transition into a more focused company and then move on to other things while I get treatment for whatever is wrong with me. I'm mostly on sick leave, but I help out with experience and knowledge where I can. There are good people taking care of business there now and I think they can do well.

What I'd like in life is to be a good family man, do my share of simple work, have a flask of red wine in the weekends and maybe paint a bit or do other artistic work.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [All (Atom feed)] [08 Dec 22:15 Europe/Oslo]

So...

Lately I've been struggling, the last 10 weeks perhaps have been building up and the last 2-3 weeks have been exceptional.

To put it this way... I now understand the angst expressed in Munch's painting "Scream". At one point I woke up one morning in angst, went out compulsively to have a smoke and could feel pain/angst radiating out of my body, like in the painting...

Today however, I feel a calmness I haven't felt in a long time. I think I've been mentally/physically sick for a long time, and it might have started in my early teens or before that, but I've always tried to manage on my own (being too proud, too dumb, too paranoid, too ashamed..). But who knows about that.. It is hard to go back in time and do tests.. Spending most of my days and nights in front of the computer for 10+ years stressing with work hasn't exactly made it better but it has been a part of the struggle. Now that I've done some regular social interaction without a PC, relaxed and sorted through some of my messy head it feels better.

So, what am I to do? Figure this thing out with professional help.. Meanwhile, people around me are thankfully taking care of things. And it is great to have mom visiting.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Art (Atom feed)] [04 Dec 18:17 Europe/Oslo]

Simple factory job

I'm thinking a simple factory job or something similar could be right for me (I've worked with that earlier). Just seeing results every day and doing my part.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [02 Dec 14:08 Europe/Oslo]

My plan

So, lately I've been reflecting on life and my path through it... I lost my way, and I need to be a better person, for my family and for society.

I'm thinking of living a humble life and follow the faith I was Christened to. This would entail giving up my stake in my company (maybe selling out my portion for a small sum so I can start from scratch).

I'll be a strict but caring father, and contribute to good where I can.

What I'll be working on in the future I'm not sure of, but I'd like guidance. I'm not built to handle a lot of stress, so it has to be a simple but interesting job that matches my skillset.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [29 Nov 16:24 Europe/Oslo]

It takes a village...

...to help an idiot/genius

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [24 Nov 20:14 Europe/Oslo]

Mental help

So, I'm getting some mental (therapy...) help now. Been mostly away from home the last week.

Got some tough work to do. :|

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [21 Nov 18:01 Europe/Oslo]

V as in Victory

Since I'm on partial sick-leave now and taking it easy I think it is important that I give myself some pats on the back.

Here's a summary page for my company's performance:

http://www.proff.no/proff/search/companyDetails.c?freeText=n...

You can see the graph on the right hand side is the result before taxes and it has a V-like shape, 2006 was OK, 2007 was not so OK and 2008 was great. The graph on the left is the turnover.

With the progress we've made, the things we've learned, the value we've created for our customers and how the future looks, I'm quite optimistic.

It's good to see that the wheels are turning, even though I'm mostly away these days. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Work (Atom feed)] [08 Nov 16:56 Europe/Oslo]

Shotgun approach!

I went to see the doctor today to get my (partial) sick-leave extended.. there we discussed medicines and such and he convinced me I should give that a try too.

So I got a prescription for Zoloft and took the first pill today. In sum I'm: talking to a the-rapist (haha), reading self-help books, ditching caffeine and taking medicine.

If that doesn't work, I don't know what will. If I had more time and money I'd do more therapist sessions and self-help, but I don't. I've got work to do.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [OCD (Atom feed)] [06 Nov 00:21 Europe/Oslo]

Ditching caffeine (pretty much)

In my quest to rid my self of OCD and other issues I'm going to cut down on the caffeine, maybe completely or I'll dare myself to drinking a cup of coffee each day. It sucks because they have really, really good caffe latte here at the local mall.

I'll let you know how it goes.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [OCD (Atom feed)] [05 Nov 00:51 Europe/Oslo]

That's an option

By: Morten W. Petersen

OK, NLP could be an option if this doesn't work. A little bit sceptical about NLP though, but anything that helps..

[Permalink] [By morten@nidelven-it.no] [ (Atom feed)] [04 Nov 10:24 Europe/Oslo]

NLP?

By: Vinay S Shastry

Hey Morten,

A friend of mine suggested NLP for OCD. Check out books by Richard Bandler.

[Permalink] [By vinayshastry@gmail.com] [ (Atom feed)] [04 Nov 06:21 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day x 2

After hearing a wonderful version of Time after time, I found another song with the same title accidentally on Spotify.

So here you are:

  Eva Cassidy - Time after time

and

  Tiff Lacey, Alexander Popov & Feel - Time after time - Chris Reece Main Mix

the latter is a nice one.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [04 Nov 01:50 Europe/Oslo]

Interesting

http://money.cnn.com/pf/features/lists/taxes_marijuana/reven...

That is the projected revenue of regulating and taxing marijuana in the US.. not to mention the saved cost of not putting people through the justice system for choosing to have a little fun and doing something that affects them and their own body.

Here in Norway we're still much trapped in "portal theory" / "stepping stone" theory hell. When will people here realize that making something which is less harmful than alcohol illegal gives all the wrong signals about other drugs and also drives more revenue into the illegal economy not to mention pushes people into environments where they get lured into doing more illegal things?


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [04 Nov 01:09 Europe/Oslo]

Prescription book

After a couple of hours with the psychologist, I've now gotten my hands on "Feeling good" - a book by D. Burns.

Website here:

  http://www.feelinggood.com/

(Yes I know, sales opportunity there, design and such could be better..)

I've started reading a bit and so far I'm optimistic. They make good arguments that you can change the way your brain works without using prescription drugs (such as SSRIs) and I'm thinking "Yes I can". ;)

I'm all for using as little medicine as possible, that's something I have from my mom I guess who has worked and is still working in the health sector.

Anyway, after trying to "fix" myself and cope in various ways for many years it feels good to be guided and helped by someone who is trained and pretty much nailed my state of mind on the first session. Which is good since the psychologist charges an arm and a leg an hour (around 165 USD per hour).

Reading books can be good, but when it comes to self-help, I think having a guide and help and then reading books to speed up / help the process is the key.

Fuck OCD, I think it stole a big chunk of my happy parts of life and fuck me for letting it. ;)

I just hope something good comes out of it all..

[Permalink] [By morphex] [OCD (Atom feed)] [03 Nov 22:58 Europe/Oslo]

Nah

By: Morten W. Petersen

I think working in NIT is cool, but keeping my options open.. Just threw this out there in case anyone was listening. :)

[Permalink] [By morten@nidelven-it.no] [ (Atom feed)] [03 Nov 00:49 Europe/Oslo]

Tired of zope? :)

By: Vinay S Shastry

Tired of zope? :)

[Permalink] [By vinayshastry@gmail.com] [ (Atom feed)] [02 Nov 07:30 Europe/Oslo]

Interested in AI, I can take it, it'll make me stronger

http://artificial-intelligence-amateur.com/

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [27 Oct 20:59 Europe/Oslo]

In good time

So, I've updated my about page (might not see it yet, as the results are cached):

http://blogologue.com/morphex?DONT_CACHE

What do I know, right? :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [24 Oct 23:31 Europe/Oslo]

A remix

I've thought about this for a little while.. I'd like to see/hear a remix of Elvis' "All shook up", but now in the form of "All fucked up".. ;)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [20 Oct 23:21 Europe/Oslo]

OCD

Since the last couple of weeks have been rough, and that I take the responsibility of being a good father very seriously, I went to see a psychologist today.

I explained how I felt and thought about things, and he hinted that I might have OCD, which is explained here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive-compulsive_disorder

I thought that was a perfect match. I didn't delve much deeper into it, as I think knowing too much about the treatment process might taint the treatment itself. I don't know whether it is physiological or psychological, but we'll see..

Anyway, I found a Norwegian support group:

http://www.ananke.no/

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [20 Oct 23:15 Europe/Oslo]

2 days old

So, Isak arrived a couple of days ago, at 00:38 on the 15th of October.

The contractions started at around 5 o'clock on Tuesday morning, so the whole process took a while.

I've seen and read a bit about birth and maybe thought the process was a bit .. unappetizing. It is a brutal, painful and messy process. But when we were in the middle of it, my mind was a bit foggy and it all seemed like a natural process (it felt natural thanks to the staff I guess, they were very good).

The result is wonderful and beautiful.

The hospital (Ahus) we're at is very modern and well equipped, and the staff is great. Initially, a couple of the staff we've been interacting with have been .. strict/a bit sour, but as we weren't too demanding they softened up and showed some more care. I guess they have to be a bit strict at times to get a hold of the situation and then they can soften up. I would guess most are working in the health sector because they like caring for people after all. :)

So far in my life, I've found kids crying to be a bit or more annoying most of the time. But when Isak popped out and started crying, it was the best sound in the world. :')

Here's a pic for those of you who want to see:

http://blogologue.com/isak-sleeping.jpg

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [16 Oct 22:10 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Morcheeba - Rome Wasn't Built In A Day

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [12 Oct 22:39 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Coldplay - Fix you

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [12 Oct 13:15 Europe/Oslo]

Trip to the hospital

We went to the hospital earlier today, as there were some signs that things were in motion. No major motions yet though, so we're waiting to see.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [11 Oct 22:22 Europe/Oslo]

5 days to go

So, 5 days to go until the planned arrival today. My head feels like a bit of a mess at times and from what I've read on the net that can happen close up to the birth for both the expecting mom and dad.

I've gotten a completely new perspective on life now that a baby is about to arrive, so..

Sorry for the dumb things I've done - I've learned from them - and I'll do better in the time to come.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [11 Oct 00:52 Europe/Oslo]

More wind in the sail

http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/doc/2009/10/09/to-win-you-need-...

"I’m all for giving the guy a chance, but why hang a garland on him when the race has hardly begun?"

Well, I'd rather like to think of it as extra wind in the sails for an inspirational captain..

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [10 Oct 23:01 Europe/Oslo]

?

The human race.
To the bottom.
Quality over quantity.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [08 Oct 16:54 Europe/Oslo]

Priorities (turn the volume down)

I've been reflecting about my life lately, especially now that Isak is about to arrive.. I see it as a big responsibility raising a child or three, and in todays high-paced society it is important to take the time to do simple things (in Norwegian):

http://mycornerintheworld.wordpress.com/2009/10/07/sa-kan-ma...

My dad worked as a cop (just retired) and my mom worked in the healthcare sector (also communal/state). I see on the news some of the things they have to deal with in that line of work, and it can be tough I think..

It would be interesting to work in politics or something similar, I think I could make a contribution there. (Abid Raja who represents my party Venstre is an inspiration: http://no.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abid_Raja)

As I build Nidelven IT I learn a lot which could be applicable in politics, and it might seem as a natural set of stepping stones to go from business to business and non-profit work to politics.

But right now though, I'm happy with where I am. I'm a bit tired, as this successful haemotomachrosis treatment has unleashed a lot of emotions, combined with the adaptation to a new situation with a baby.

I feel like the company is like my farm (or ship) (although it is shared with Stig - http://www.djkoala.org), and it is also my domain where I get to take the lead and.. dictate if necessary. ;) Since I've built up the company I feel comfortable running it too.

So, maybe 5-10 years from now I'll do something different, but for now I'd like to relax, heal, enjoy nature and invest in good health. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [07 Oct 22:24 Europe/Oslo]

Two freebies

I've long had a dream of starting a band or two to ... I guess, to be a part of the expression.

I've got two band names so far:

Clowns with Downs

and

Tools for Fools

I thought these were unique, but googling for both of these turned up results. So I guess I'm a little too late and will have to find new names, if I get to start a band.

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [06 Oct 19:49 Europe/Oslo]

:\ :/ :)

(f)art

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [05 Oct 13:02 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

John Farnham - You're the voice

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [04 Oct 23:17 Europe/Oslo]

Haematomachrosis

So, a couple of months ago I got the diagnosis haematomachrosis:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haematomachrosis

It is an iron-overload disorder, where the intestines absorb too much iron from the diet, which results in too much iron in the blood as well as iron sediments being deposited in major organs such as the heart, liver etc. (This could be helpful where there is little iron available in the diet, bug or feature you be the judge).

Anyway, I've been on dailystrength.org:

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Hemochromatosis/forum/8058404...

Where another person with the same condition listed up some symptoms, such as anxiety, fatigue, depression and IBS. Trust me, I can relate to that. My teens were pretty rough and I thought the anxiety (which I got medication for) was a result of that. But now that I've been "phlebbed" (drained for blood) 3-4 times, I feel great. I mean, I *feel*, I'm energetic and most of the time it feels like I'm using 1% of my brain, even if I'm doing complex tasks. I think I've been depressed for a long time as well, because how I'm feeling now can't compare..

When I was maybe 14-15 I remember my (at the time) girlfriend commenting on how much I slept, her dad noticing as well. Since that time I've had a need to sleep a lot, maybe 10-12 hours per day.

Now, I think this condition was triggered somewhere in my early teens, but maybe I've had it most of my life. But I guess boys are brought up this way, to be tough and suck it up and not complain. So for the last 15 or so years I've been dragging around this extra weight, being emotionally numb and drained for energy.

I've tried most things, including a long stretch of 1-2 years where I exercised rigorously and ate properly, but nothing helped.

It is kinda funny that all I needed was a little old-fashioned bloodletting to get up to and beyond par.

So, what's the lesson here? Mmm.. Ask for help is one. Another is, if you're not feeling well, chase up the health system until you get help. It took 3 different doctors before one finally bothered to take my high iron levels seriously and thanks to that, I have a new life.

So, now that I feel much more, I've quit smoking and expect a baby to arrive in a couple of weeks, my life is really an emotional rollercoaster. But, paraphrasing.. it is better to have felt than to never have felt at all. ;)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [02 Oct 21:57 Europe/Oslo]

14 days to go

:O

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [02 Oct 13:14 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Nine Inch Nails - We're in this together

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [01 Oct 22:08 Europe/Oslo]

All about javascript

http://imgur.com/RzRcw.jpg

A long time ago (1999-2000 I think) I wrote a, relatively, huge javascript library for a web-application that never happened. A lot of the work in that library was creating code that could be used cross-browser consistently, including some widgets.

These days my Javascript work is mostly doing some small scripting and changes here and there, but I'm thinking of getting more into Javascript again as it seems to be a necessity for a lot of web applications today.

Thankfully there are frameworks and libraries out there that take a lot of the work out of creating advanced things today, guess I'll have to dig around to find the framework that works best.

I like the idea of a Python interpreter in Javascript (Skulpt comes to mind: http://www.skulpt.org/), but after all this time, I think Javascript has its charm. Besides, adding a "translation layer" on top of a language has some overhead and some quirks of its own. On the other hand, a unified "Python frontend" to browser development that eats up the inconsistencies between browser implementations *could* be really sweet.

Oh well, enough daydreaming.. now back to doing something that pays the bills.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Work (Atom feed)] [28 Sep 17:23 Europe/Oslo]

Where to go next (Holland?)

Well, after visiting Amsterdam this summer I must say I'm intrigued by the country. :)

So, I'm sniffing around and considering moving to Holland, found this site which had some useful info:

http://www.movetonetherlands.com/

Also lots of other good sites with info.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [27 Sep 17:50 Europe/Oslo]

Another reason to smoke

http://sfist.com/attachments/SFist_Brock/Benefits_of_smoking...

(thanks StFu)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [22 Sep 12:46 Europe/Oslo]

Tres cool

http://filter.start.no/?id=4496

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [18 Sep 21:03 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Des'ree - You gotta be

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [17 Sep 22:39 Europe/Oslo]

29 days to go

:O

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [17 Sep 19:17 Europe/Oslo]

35 days to go

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [11 Sep 13:05 Europe/Oslo]

It's a celebration, bitches

http://www.linuxfoundation.org/news-media/blogs/browse/2009/...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Business (Atom feed)] [10 Sep 00:07 Europe/Oslo]

Visual presentation for the challenged

http://s2.buzzfeed.com/static/imagebuzz/terminal01/2009/9/6/...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [07 Sep 14:18 Europe/Oslo]

42 days to go

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [04 Sep 21:58 Europe/Oslo]

56 days to go

...

We bought a new car today, a Wolkswagen Passat 2006, which is looking promising so far. I'd upload a pic but I'm too lazy right now. ;)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [21 Aug 22:08 Europe/Oslo]

What can I say

http://imgur.com/DOIOm.jpg

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Cute (Atom feed)] [17 Aug 21:14 Europe/Oslo]

63 days to go

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [14 Aug 12:07 Europe/Oslo]

New toys

Saturday I bought myself some new toys. A Fender Stratocaster and an UX1 from Line 6. Some other things were bought as well, cables, adapters, a guitar-stand and other items.

I haven't bought myself something nice in quite a while, and thought it was time to make a splash now.

The guitar is good to play, and the UX1 has got some accompanying software which enables mixing and matching guitar sound effects.

Music has always been a big part of my life, and after clunking away on a spanish guitar for many years, it will be interesting to experiment with an electrical guitar. Not to mention all the effects available in the UX1 PodFarm software.

When I get this thing hooked up properly for recording I'll share some riffs. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [12 Aug 21:56 Europe/Oslo]

Up the the middle of the night

So I got a server alert at 00:25 this .. "morning" and had to spring to action. Luckily it was an easy issue to fix, now I'll just have to wind down for an hour or two before getting to sleep. Good thing I'm getting compensated for it. ;)

Up again before 10:00 to start the work day. The new plan is to work 10 - 14 on a regular basis and work flexibly the rest of the day. To get some structure into it all, starting with a simple plan.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Work (Atom feed)] [07 Aug 01:03 Europe/Oslo]

71 days to go

:O

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [06 Aug 18:19 Europe/Oslo]

Ubuntu installed!

Today I got Ubuntu installed on the netbook. It was peaches. :)

But that's probably becaused I've got experience with installing Linux from somewhere in the middle of the nineties (Red Hat, Slackware)...

So, I read up here and there on what to do. Lots of documentation and heplful hints. After reading through various docs, I found

  http://unetbootin.sourceforge.net/

Unetbootin, which could transform a USB-stick into a bootable .. thingy. So, I fired up Unetbootin, plugged in a USB-stick and selected the latest Ubuntu Netinstall. It didn't take long, maybe half a minute and I had a bootable stick.

Another thing documentation mentions on the net is that you need to press the Esc key when the Eee is starting up, to get to select the USB-stick as a boot device.

That's what I did and the Linux installer started booting.

As I mentioned, I've installed Linux countless times, and the Ubuntu console install is pretty similar to Debian which we use at Nidelven IT, so this was familiar. However, I hit one snag, and that was the retrieval/install/configure phase of the installation of Ubuntu...

I'd selected the basic, desktop, netbook remix and openssh server options for package groups, and the installer choked on that after progressing 10% or so.

So, in something that was a Zen-like moment, I unselected the netbook remix group and tried again - and it worked. :)

I've now got Windows XP and Ubuntu installed on the netbook, and it seems to be working just fine!

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Asus PC Eee 1000HE 10" black (Atom feed)] [31 Jul 00:28 Europe/Oslo]

Getting used to the keyboard

So, after having used this .. "mini-pc" for a day or so, I'm starting to get used to the keyboard. Switching back to my old laptop earlier today was weird though.. not used to the keys being where they are.

This thing performs well, it was a bit sluggish earlier today, but that was because of the scheduled virus scans.. I've got a trial of some software (AVG) installed and will probably buy that when the trial is over.

Unless I get Ubuntu installed, and can start using that.

So far, very happy with my new PC. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Asus PC Eee 1000HE 10" black (Atom feed)] [30 Jul 17:59 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Jay Z - 99 problems

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [30 Jul 14:16 Europe/Oslo]

Asus PC Eee 1000HE 10" black

Today I picked up a new netbook, the Asus PC Eee 1000HE. It runs Windows XP and is fairly snappy.

I've installed the essentials (Thunderbird, Firefox, putty, Spotify and AVG) and it seems to be working well. Even updated via Windows update to get the latest fixes.

One gripe is the keyboard which is taking some getting used to, but if I use this as my main work PC it shouldn't take long to get used to.

The touchpad is a bit sucky, but it might be that it just requires some use before it becomes.. usable.

Next thing to do is to get Ubuntu installed

  https://help.ubuntu.com/community/EeePC

guess I'll have to get a USB stick for that. I think this will be a good tool to use, feeling optimistic about it. More posts about it later.

[Later..] Getting slightly more accustomed to the keyboard, but it is scary how close and easy it is to mix up the enter and backspace keys.. don't want to be working with 'rm -rf' too much there. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [29 Jul 21:43 Europe/Oslo]

Yummy

http://www.omnomnomnom.com/

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [29 Jul 00:09 Europe/Oslo]

3rd time is the charm

http://img48.exs.cx/img48/1029/1matrix.jpg

(thanks Willoch)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [28 Jul 22:52 Europe/Oslo]

81 days to go

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [27 Jul 21:10 Europe/Oslo]

Windows copy

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/estimation.png

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Windows (Atom feed)] [23 Jul 12:20 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Mike & The Mechanics - Over my shoulder

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [20 Jul 22:36 Europe/Oslo]

88 days to go

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [20 Jul 21:05 Europe/Oslo]

92 days to go

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [16 Jul 00:49 Europe/Oslo]

Old women and cats

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxoplasmosis

Could it be that cats inadvertently pass this disease to mothers who might have less offspring and thus take better care of the cat?

Nurturing instincts being what they are..

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Nature (Atom feed)] [14 Jul 16:29 Europe/Oslo]

Emotional rollercoaster, new perspectives

Today it is 100 days left until the baby (Isak) is planned to arrive. The whole process of waiting for Isak to arrive has changed a lot of my perspectives. Not necessarily what I stand for, but I guess thinking like a parent makes you smarter in some ways.

The days go by, and at times I'm giddy with joy over Isak, at other times I'm scared about the responsability. It is a project for life, after all.

Hilde and I talk about these things, so that helps. Communication is the key. There is some nagging and minor conflicts, but nothing we can't handle. Going around with a baby in the belly can be a strain too I guess (hormones..).

Will Isak become a programmer? A businessman? A musician? A doctor? These are things I think about. I think it would be wise to let him become whatever he wants to be, and not push him too much in any direction. Just listen to what interests him and encourage him.

From hearing from other people, the first period (2 months or so) after the baby is born can be especially tough. Feeding, pooping, diaper changes, crying, getting up in the middle of the night - things like that. But we've made the choice now and have to follow through. It will be interesting, that's for sure.

I'm ready to kick ass, for the new boss.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [08 Jul 16:30 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Billy Ocean - When the going gets tough the tough gets going

;)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [07 Jul 23:37 Europe/Oslo]

Heartbeat

http://blogologue.com/isak.wav

:)

(Later.. updated with the right file. Turns out I uploaded some meta-file)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Isak (Atom feed)] [05 Jul 15:07 Europe/Oslo]

Spotify bump

http://www.spotify.com/blog/archives/2009/06/25/bumping-up-t...

(I'm a Spotify subscriber now, paid my dues)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [04 Jul 14:18 Europe/Oslo]

Norwegian in hell

http://img72.imageshack.us/img72/3064/0ekux3808481.jpg

(thanks Geir)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Religion (Atom feed)] [03 Jul 00:52 Europe/Oslo]

Hello

Looking at the stats for this blog, here's the top visiting countries:

Canada
Russian Federation
India
Germany
Luxembourg
United Kingdom
Brazil

Interesting how it differs so much, from the west to the east. Maybe this blogging in English thing was a smart thing to do.

PS: The top entry is commercial (.com) - but I guess a lot of different providers in different countries use .com for their subscribers. So it is hard to say whether they're from the US.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Meta (Atom feed)] [02 Jul 01:37 Europe/Oslo]

Something for my back

Monday and Wednesday this week I've been hiking up a mountain here in Mo i Rana where I'm on .. "workation" :) It is a great exercise, tough, but I can feel it is improving my body.

It is something the chiropractor recommended, who I've been visiting now a couple of times. Interestingly, he told me that chiropractors weren't recommended by doctors as they can compete with doctors.

Well, I'm kind of holding my breath here, hoping this chiropractor treatment + walking in varied (and soft) terrain will help. Tired of chugging down painkillers. A couple of people with back problems I've talked with have recommended chiropractors and they have gotten well quick, but now that I've had this back conditition for a while, it will probably take a while to get well too.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [02 Jul 01:22 Europe/Oslo]

Somebody pointing their nose

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8118721.stm

(thanks Eirik)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Business (Atom feed)] [01 Jul 17:06 Europe/Oslo]

Teaching that sticks

http://myfirstdictionary.blogspot.com/

(thanks Willoch)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [01 Jul 01:08 Europe/Oslo]

From whales to packs of fishes

http://www.kk.org/thetechnium/archives/2008/03/1000_true_fan...

(thanks Chris)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Business (Atom feed)] [29 Jun 23:55 Europe/Oslo]

Amsterdam June 2009

Amsterdam this June 2009 was nice.  ;-)

I also got to visit the torture museum, where the "spanish chair" was on display.

Torture chair

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Amsterdam (Atom feed)] [21 Jun 23:14 Europe/Oslo]

Opera mini

I've found that Opera mini is quite good when surfing on my mobile phone. It is fast in use (scrolling etc.) but as I understand it, they also compress the content retrieved, scaling down images etc. One gripe I have about the Nokia E90 is that it is slow and sluggish. With Opera mini however, it works well.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Internet (Atom feed)] [21 Jun 19:04 Europe/Oslo]

Fat and happy

A couple of years ago I was working out really hard.. I've never been a jock so I decided I'd try out being really fit.

Now I'm a bit heavier than in my "fit period", but I'm happy. I eat what I want pretty much when I want and I don't spend a lot of time working out. I should get out and walk more often though.

I guess my "fit period" was just a daze I was in trying to find the up/down, left/right in life. I blame all the models and clothing people pushing their photoshopped images of people who can't do much else than work out and eat salads.

A bit FU to bad role models and a big grouphug to the big & tall and round & small.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [21 Jun 01:23 Europe/Oslo]

Not getting it

Whenever I'm not around my PC and listening to the radio, I tend to listen to P4 - a Norwegian radio channel.

They keep good playlists, with a slant towards older music (hits). They have really good playlists actually, that's what I rate radio stations after. Most talkshows on radio suck, a lot of talk about nothing.

But.. anyway, P4 (www.p4.no) uses Windows Media or something similar, so it won't work in my Firefox without extra plugins. But they also have a played, current and next song feature which displays the artist and song. So I'm using that now to find good songs on Spotify.

I guess the crux of any good music service is their playlists. Spotify nailed that with their playlists, but in their finite wisdom I think they might've made the playlists too restrictive. But maybe that's something we'll see improved later unless they see the playlists as they are, as an important piece of it all.

Oh well, I can always create new playlists in new software..

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Radio (Atom feed)] [21 Jun 01:04 Europe/Oslo]

Servers, a SAN, lots of cables and a switch

The last couple of days have been interesting for me, I've been setting up a Storage Area Network (SAN), some servers and a switch. With the good help of the folks from Servetheworld it went smoothly.. a few bumps in the road but fun. The SAN weighed around 40 KGs - quite heavy, and it wasn't that long either, but 3 Us tall.

Here's Dag, wouldn't been possible without his help:

No description available

So, now we're soon ready to host a new customer which requires a few servers, and in a week or two we'll have some new irons with 72 GBs of RAM each to take over hosting for the old servers.

Oh well, interesting times. I've been working for 14 hours now, but I don't feel that tired. The overtime-pizza helped I guess. :P

Now, just to get things ready before I take 4-5 days off, to .. relax in Amsterdam. :D

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Work (Atom feed)] [12 Jun 22:32 Europe/Oslo]

Quote of the day

"Dissent is the highest form of patriotism."

-Howard Zinn

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Quotes (Atom feed)] [25 May 20:19 Europe/Oslo]

Fleshwasher

http://www.bestofblocket.se/bilder/fullsize.php?v=blocket_80...

(Thanks Eirik)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [22 May 13:32 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

John Farnham - You're the Voice

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [02 May 21:00 Europe/Oslo]

Quote of the day

"It's all shit to me"

Not sure who came up with that, but it's a good one.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Quotes (Atom feed)] [29 Apr 19:35 Europe/Oslo]

Phew

I spent about 4 weeks in Spain now, and during my stay Spotify said I could only be outside of Norway for 2 weeks (or update to my current location).

So update the location on my profile was what I did, and a bunch of songs disappeared (first they turned red, then they went goner).

Luckily, now, after being in Norway for a day or two the songs are back! Saves me the trouble of adding them again (something I started on, but didn't complete).

Spotify lads, get your cross-country licensing in gear, I want to go to Spain again soon! :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [27 Apr 23:55 Europe/Oslo]

OK!

http://dl.ziza.ru/other/042009/27/pics/041_pics.jpg

(Thanks Chris_B)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [27 Apr 16:14 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Alanis Morisette - Hands Clean

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [23 Apr 21:52 Europe/Oslo]

Watch out

Google Analytics

Google Anal-y-tics

(I'm learning a bit of Spanish these days)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [23 Apr 21:41 Europe/Oslo]

Mad skillz

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z19zFlPah-o

(thanks Hoffa)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Biking (Atom feed)] [20 Apr 23:59 Europe/Oslo]

Cheap items for good stories

http://www.mymodernmet.com/profiles/blogs/replacing-world-la...

(thanks Hoffa)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [11 Apr 19:29 Europe/Oslo]

Quote of the day

"Build it and they will cum"

(I thought that was original, but a Google search revealed 270 hits):

http://www.google.com/search?q=%22build+it+and+they+will+cum...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Quotes (Atom feed)] [10 Apr 00:24 Europe/Oslo]

When nature strikes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OStX_wrWGg

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [05 Apr 00:27 Europe/Oslo]

Quantom of Solace

I watched Quantom of Solace, and wasn't impressed. So, here's a review of the movie:

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=quantum_of_p...

Covers all the important points. :-)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Movies (Atom feed)] [05 Apr 00:25 Europe/Oslo]

Spare time

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2FX9rviEhw&amp;feature=featu...

(Thanks Vegard)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [04 Apr 16:36 Europe/Oslo]

When bears attack

http://blogs.news.com.au/images/uploads/bearattack.jpg

(Thanks Jeremy)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [03 Apr 22:18 Europe/Oslo]

Size does matter

http://sovietrussia.org/f/src/tetoris.swf

(Thanks Skjaeve)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [27 Mar 14:22 Europe/Oslo]

Looking for a date

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2cpokyr&amp;s=5

(thanks Hoffa)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [19 Mar 09:55 Europe/Oslo]

Splish, splash..

http://img27.imageshack.us/img27/3439/supu.jpg

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [16 Mar 18:42 Europe/Oslo]

Spot on, cont'd

So now I've gotten Spotify to work on Linux, using Wine. Was easy enough.. the only trick to the whole deal is specifying the OSS option in the winecfg option tab.

Now my only gripe is that Spotify doesn't work in the air. :-)

But maybe that'll change?

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [13 Mar 23:11 Europe/Oslo]

Teh internets, for the niche movements

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMCqpKLczMc

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [10 Mar 02:05 Europe/Oslo]

Write in C

I've always wanted to learn a bit more about writing C code, but nothing yet. Here's something that'll motivate me though

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHosLhPEN3k

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Work (Atom feed)] [09 Mar 00:16 Europe/Oslo]

Hard lesson

http://temp.idklubb.org/elg/

(Thanks Ingolf)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [06 Mar 15:24 Europe/Oslo]

Peel

"Mental masturbation - Can't beat the peeling"

-Me

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Quotes (Atom feed)] [06 Mar 00:18 Europe/Oslo]

Flying high

http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2009-02-25/

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [05 Mar 16:17 Europe/Oslo]

A little tip for all these content people out there

I've encountered copying and pasting from Microsoft Office (Word) lately on Vista, and it turns out Word doesn't jive well with Plone editors such as FCKeditor, TinyMCE or Kupu.

A lot of XML and other .. crap is put into the HTML source when copying from Word to a web based editor.

The solution? Use Openoffice 3. It creates nicer HTML, in the cases I've tested anyway.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Work (Atom feed)] [05 Mar 15:07 Europe/Oslo]

Not so old I'm cold

Train Horns

Created by Train Horns

(Thanks Ole)


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [05 Mar 14:34 Europe/Oslo]

Perhaps

By: Morten W. Petersen

Vinay,

yes - that could be something. Thanks for the tip :-)

[Permalink] [By morten@nidelven-it.no] [ (Atom feed)] [04 Mar 22:32 Europe/Oslo]

motion + ftp?

By: Vinay

What about using something like motion (http://www.lavrsen.dk/twiki/bin/view/Motion/WebHome) and then scp/ftp the generated file?

[Permalink] [By shastry@nidelven-it.no] [ (Atom feed)] [04 Mar 06:57 Europe/Oslo]

New gig, new tasks

So we've got a new gig for a customer, creating a website which among other things includes a feature where a live-image-feed of their office is one of the tasks. This is on Zope and Plone of course.

Today I picked up a web camera (Logitech QuickCam Sphere AF) - looks good so far and it has up to 8 megapixels capacity. It is also possible to enable tracking of people and autofocus, but both those features are.. not 100%.

So, now all that remains on that bit is finding a tool that can capture these images and upload them to the website. I think I've found one (it's called fwink), but it remains to be seen after some testing if it'll hold up.

I've gone through 5-6 different webcam-to-website upload tools and all of them sucked, badly. At the bottom of the list was an Open Source tool (fwink) which actually worked. The only irk is that it has port 21 for FTP as a default - I'd like something where you can define the port yourself so I mailed the author. I have my hopes up, maybe this could be an easy fix.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Work (Atom feed)] [04 Mar 00:47 Europe/Oslo]

A scare from the east (digital bloodbath)

I've been reading up on Rick Falkvinge's blog, the leader of the Swedish Pirate Party:

http://rickfalkvinge.se/2009/02/27/valkomna-ombord/

It talks about the "Private police law" - Ipred which was accepted in "Riksdagen" a little while ago. I don't know where to begin, but to sum it up, the content industry would be able to:

* Perform private criminal investigations
* Force an ISP to provide the subscriber info for the IP address they've been supervising and see as an (illegal) file sharer (even the Swedish police don't have the rights to do that)
* Confiscate the house and freeze the bank accounts of the person they suspect for illegal filesharing

  They go after the person responsible for the connection, not necessarily the person doing the infringement

* Search the house and any equipment which can contain infringing content (private diaries? private surfing history? politicial intentions? sexual preferences?) They get to see it all.

And that's just some of it. On the other hand, I see Telenor here in Norway today are sticking it to the content industry, saying that basically they can't shut down access to the Pirate Bay, because it would be like the postal office inspecting mail. They also nip it in the bud and flat out say that the business model of the content industry is broken, and that it needs to change (using mobile phone ring tones as an example of something that works). That may be because Telenor has a vested interest and a piece of the pie for content that gets ordered through their network or using their broadband, but oh well.

But, anyway back to this Swedish deal. From what I surmise, the content industry can go after anyone they suspect, freeze their assets (how do you pay your lawyer then?) and force the people to pay up the sum on short notice. Nothing like being held hostage huh?

Another bit in that article is that the group of people accused of filesharing can be forced to pay an ad where they admit to being convicted. To draw a macabre paralell, I know there are places where you can be executed and your family forced to pay for the bullet. Or that you're publicly humiliated (flogged) and then sent to economic prison for a while. If it isn't an economic death sentence.. can anyone fathom the anguish of being publicly humiliated and ruined?

I can only hope that the politicians here in Norway don't go down the same path.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [02 Mar 21:46 Europe/Oslo]

Yep

By: Morten W. Petersen

Completed and launched, now we just need to follow up and make some minor adjusments.. :)

[Permalink] [By morten@nidelven-it.no] [ (Atom feed)] [02 Mar 18:04 Europe/Oslo]

My spotify playlist

http://tiny.cc/mspot

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [02 Mar 17:38 Europe/Oslo]

Completed?

By: Vinay

whoa, you finished the site?

[Permalink] [By vinayshastry@gmail.com] [ (Atom feed)] [01 Mar 03:48 Europe/Oslo]

Some news is good news

http://www.fnm.com/news/

(thanks Eirik)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [01 Mar 00:16 Europe/Oslo]

Another notch in the belt

https://www.blindeforbundet.no/

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Work (Atom feed)] [27 Feb 22:48 Europe/Oslo]

All that you can eat

http://images.foodproof.com/bacon-and-cheese-stuffed-pizza-b...

(Thanks Eirik)

Update...

http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

(thanks Hoffa)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Food (Atom feed)] [20 Feb 16:27 Europe/Oslo]

Russian lolcats

http://rolcats.com/

(Thanks Hoffa)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [17 Feb 23:11 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Everything but the Girl - Missing

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [15 Feb 01:24 Europe/Oslo]

Sign O' the times

http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k299/doogiescard/Hilarious...

I salute to that, as I'm drinking Pripps Blå Extra Stark right now, a beer I bought in Sweden yesterday. Were they have much lower prices. All combined, I saved around 7-800 Kroner on that short trip, as I got to use Hilde's customs quota as well.

http://www.carlsbergsverige.se/Drycker/ol/Sidor/PrippsBl%E5E...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [14 Feb 21:26 Europe/Oslo]

Figuring out this business thing

Lately I've been working my butt off, for good reason. My guesstimate for a project was a bit off, so I had to do double-time to reign it in.

That's how you learn I guess. I've been in this game for over 10 years now and still learning. But I have faith that it will all be worth it some day.

Heck, now I even had some time and energy to update and fix my weblog. One thing I've become vary about lately is legal things. Different rights on different things. So I've combed through the weblog to make sure I'm on the right side of the track there. We've been shelling out money on lawyers for contracts and such lately so I've figured I've gotta keep my path clean in whatever I do that can be even loosely related to the business.

This weblog is a personal thing, but if some uptight dude or dudette comes along I don't want to have anything out of order. It makes sense too, as I start to play the I-own-this game I've gotta play by the rules..

This blog has been a bit slow but I didn't bother to check why. Turns out spammers were hammering a demo of this tool with spam, so I made a public demo private instead. Easy, but not so fun fix. :)

Oh well, time to go to bed.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Business (Atom feed)] [13 Feb 02:21 Europe/Oslo]

In Russia..

http://www.kuvalauta.fi/b/src/123325512598.jpg

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [01 Feb 14:58 Europe/Oslo]

Deer god

http://robsell.com/rs/Google_Van_Deer/

(thanks Eirik)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [30 Jan 13:49 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Richard Clayderman, James Last and His Orchestra - Streets of Philadelphia

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [30 Jan 01:53 Europe/Oslo]

Light blogging (steam)

It's been light blogging lately, I'm currently busting my noble bits on a big project. Not much to say now, but we're in good shape. At times I feel like a stretched-out octopus.

Focus, focus, focus!

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Work (Atom feed)] [27 Jan 23:29 Europe/Oslo]

Dated, but relevant

http://flightaware.com/live/flight/USA1549

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [27 Jan 18:28 Europe/Oslo]

Just chilling

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:CH_cow_2.jpg

(thanks Esc)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [14 Jan 23:42 Europe/Oslo]

Good for business

http://www.headsethotties.com/

(thanks Hoffa)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Business (Atom feed)] [12 Jan 23:22 Europe/Oslo]

Decisions, decisions..

http://firefoxy.de/firefox_download_post_pics/firefoxy-mozil...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Firefox (Atom feed)] [31 Dec 10:31 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Massive Attack - Unfinished Sympathy

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [25 Dec 04:43 Europe/Oslo]

This year's christmas tree

No description available

We've got a christmas tree up, nothing to brag about, but it brings the spirit of Christmas to our living room.



[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [21 Dec 17:03 Europe/Oslo]

Old school ASCII art

http://gadgets.boingboing.net/gimages/Keyboard%20Art.html

(Thanks to Skjaeve for the link)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [19 Dec 11:14 Europe/Oslo]

Spot on

Lately I've been playing with Spotify, a new app/service which makes music available through a player:

http://www.spotify.com/en/

It doesn't have a lot of Pink Floyd or Metallica originals, but lots of other good obscure music. I think I've found a new favourite app.. it's snappy and music loads straight away.

A Linux port isn't available yet, but I've heard rumours of people getting it running with Wine. So there's hope.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [18 Dec 13:28 Europe/Oslo]

Finding meaning redux

http://img370.imageshack.us/img370/3221/24mcj1gkq7.jpg

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [17 Dec 10:28 Europe/Oslo]

Small joys in the life we live

Today we had taco-pizza for dinner, which Hilde prepared. With tortillas on top and lots of cheese. Tasty.

Along with some lite beer (not light, but lite, as in less calories) we've been relaxing all night on the sofa, not doing much at all.

As I grow older I've learned to enjoy some of the smaller things in life, not chasing after something all the time, but just being and relaxing.

I think the key is learning not to give a shit at times. Live and let live. Some issues have an expiry date anyway, a different place, a different time... :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [13 Dec 21:43 Europe/Oslo]

The Day the Earth Stood Still, a movie that doesn't suck

Went to the movies on Wednesday, saw the movie The Day the Earth Stood Still. Nice flick, was in suspense for most of the movie.

I'm not going spoil the plot, but I liked it. Recommended. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Movies (Atom feed)] [12 Dec 19:29 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

David Bowie - Let's dance

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [08 Dec 22:59 Europe/Oslo]

Working 9 to 9

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpKAA2VxWY8

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Business (Atom feed)] [04 Dec 21:36 Europe/Oslo]

Progress

Python 3.0 is released:

http://www.python.org/download/releases/3.0/

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Python (Atom feed)] [04 Dec 13:10 Europe/Oslo]

Amen

I'm an eager reader of "Verden vil bedras" (The world wants to be deceived) - a blog which I stumbled over a while ago, while googling for "verden vil bedras."

Today I read a posting about the housing bubble here in Norway, and the people who've been pushing the prices up up and away. These same people who have everything to gain from prices going up. Now these people (whose businesses are close to bankrupt) are going into the debt collection business, collecting money from hard-working and/or unfortunate people who get lured into buying things they don't need. And you can't go bankrupt as a person here in Norway (in the traditional sense of the work), you can get deals however. 5 years of hard work and little income to live off, and then if you get lucky later and strike it rich, the people who lured you into buying it can still come and collect.

What I surmise from this is that basically, this is our modern day version of torture. You will get tortured until you understand (or believe, whatever you like). A broken system?

Anyway, I don't have the time or energy translate it - here it is, a good read:

http://verdenvilbedras.blogspot.com/2008/12/notar-jakter-enn...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Business (Atom feed)] [03 Dec 17:31 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Ziggy Marley - Tomorrow people

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [02 Dec 22:01 Europe/Oslo]

Something to look forward to every day

No description available

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [02 Dec 19:03 Europe/Oslo]

Multiple personality disorder

According to this:

  http://www.typealyzer.com/

we have different personalities depending on which page you look at..

Makes sense, I guess. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [All (Atom feed)] [01 Dec 00:29 Europe/Oslo]

Gingerbread time!

No description available

Hilde had some spare time so she decided to have some fun.  :)


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [28 Nov 14:13 Europe/Oslo]

Anger for a change

The last song of the day was something I listened to a bit when I was younger. The "cool" kids were into Public Enemy, wearing PE caps and things like that.

We were rebelling against something, but I'm not sure exactly what. I guess PE was born out of anger as a group of people were fighting for a good status and place in society.

A couple of weeks ago we saw some punk-heads having a protest, and there were several cop-cars at the event. The cops were pretty relaxed about it, even when that song was played on a boom-box. "Raaawrr, we're rebelling!"

My dad's a cop, so don't take that reference as me being for cop-hating. Cops have to play by the rules defined by politicians, and someone with the power (and the law on their side) can easily abuse it - there are bad apples everywhere. I still see some stigma and racism here in Norway, where the actions of a few gives ammo to those who live by stereotypes.

But I guess that's the way it has always been. Ignorant people find something to hate and it spreads like a disease..

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [26 Nov 15:41 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Public Enemy - Fuck the police

;)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [25 Nov 22:41 Europe/Oslo]

Is blind justice better than empathic justice?

Just a question...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [25 Nov 19:53 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Madonna - Express yourself

;)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [21 Nov 16:26 Europe/Oslo]

Evolution strikes again

"Their argument, in effect, was that the SYM is putting off traditional markers of adulthood—one wife, two kids, three bathrooms—not because he’s immature but because he’s angry. He’s angry because he thinks that young women are dishonest, self-involved, slutty, manipulative, shallow, controlling, and gold-digging. He’s angry because he thinks that the culture disses all things male. He’s angry because he thinks that marriage these days is a raw deal for men."

http://city-journal.com/2008/18_4_darwinist_dating.html

That's what happens when you experiment, I guess. I like the traditional roles, that the man is the breadwinner and the woman is at home. Or perhaps not like, but the roles are familiar and predictable.

I'm not saying women are less capable of doing a good job at the workplace (raising and nurturing kids in a good way with good results is one great feat and I've met women in prominent positions doing their jobs well), but it is the natural (as in, nature's way) order of things. Hilde (my better half), is mostly the boss at home. Boss, as in, she takes initative to doing things in our home (and I say, "uh ... OK" ;)), and often arranges social events. No, I was only kidding, it's not that way. We talk and discuss things, but she likes to deal with those things and I play along.

I've gotten a bit better at the homebase thing myself, stepping into the softer manly role. After all, she has a job too and nobody is a superhero.

Times they are a-changin' - that's for sure. Maybe we're getting exactly what we're wishing for?

Maybe the feminists got a little more than they bargained for, or maybe it is just something that needs to be balanced out over time.. I hope for the latter.

Anyway, I find it interesting how we try to come to terms with evolution. If we take evolution's history, things started out as little not very intelligent organisms. What's been happening for the last thousands of years is nothing more than us collectively becoming a bigger organism. The tribe, the kingdom, the state, the .. what? :)

I wonder what they'll be saying about this 300 years from now.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [21 Nov 02:22 Europe/Oslo]

Knock, knock

Who's there?

Boo.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [19 Nov 22:37 Europe/Oslo]

The front fell off

http://faapaa.no/The_Front_Fell_Off.wmv

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [17 Nov 15:20 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Pearl Jam - Jeremy

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [17 Nov 14:08 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Radiohead - Creep

Bonus link, wonderful alternate version: http://takingtigermountain.com/archives/113

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [12 Nov 00:32 Europe/Oslo]

Congrats USA

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [05 Nov 09:20 Europe/Oslo]

The Operators Panel

The Operators panel, with the buttons fuck, shitstorm and unfuck

Thanks to Freeclipartnow for the buttons.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [30 Oct 19:39 Europe/Oslo]

If life hands you lemons, make lemon-aid

http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/70672

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [30 Oct 17:05 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Fine young cannibals - She drives me crazy

;)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [30 Oct 16:51 Europe/Oslo]

Guess it still would work

http://io-soup-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/asset/0163/0717_b621....

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [29 Oct 12:04 Europe/Oslo]

Extra motivation

Lately I've been too lazy to shave, so I'm starting to get something that looks like a beard. And then I found this link, for extra motivation:

http://www.biggerbetterbeards.org/

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [22 Oct 13:05 Europe/Oslo]

Just another day at work

http://i37.tinypic.com/2r57xvn.jpg

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [21 Oct 23:55 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Kelly Rowland - Work (The Freemasons radio edit)

;)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [21 Oct 00:55 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Metallica - Cyanide (compressed version ;))

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [12 Oct 02:04 Europe/Oslo]

Hit the ground skidding

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WHRxXY67UA&amp;feature=relat...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [07 Oct 12:57 Europe/Oslo]

I can relate to that, too

http://www.cracked.com/article_16670_people-from-your-past-w...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [30 Sep 21:46 Europe/Oslo]

Rush

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/k5OmVVfssYBrsUJZCF

(thanks Stig)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [30 Sep 14:26 Europe/Oslo]

It seemed like a good idea at the time

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUGSrzTNjZw

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [29 Sep 11:50 Europe/Oslo]

Random spillage (correct me if I'm wrong)

Last last night (around 3 AM) Hilde (my girl), Kaye (my bro) and I came back from 2 weeks in Spain. Also in the gang was Britt (friend of Hilde, but she had to leave after a week).

We spent the last week with Hilde's folks as well, which was a good time. It's good to get to know her family and get some roots (for our flower to grow ;)). :)

Anyway, there was a lot of time to think and relax on the trip, and for better or worse, I think a lot.

Religion, politics, existence are things that I often mull over, to the point of being like a bulldog that never lets go. Picking up bits and pieces of information on the net as I go along. :)

Anyway, what I'm thinking is that religion is a system which in many ways has been the basis of modern society. Rules, rituals and laws which bring order to chaos. The chaos of survival of the fittest, the selfish gene etc. Structure to the slow burn that evolution is.

I learned a bit about Christianity in school, and although I understand and respect the basic rules, some of those rules are outdated as well. It's like a artist called Ravi said (something along the lines of) in a song, "navigating by old maps is insane".

The bible is full of good stories and metaphors that can teach us something about life, and I suspect that with a bit of experience in that field know that there is no God or Devil, Christianity is a tool devised to give people meaning and hope (and perhaps to give "the wise" the control they need). I guess there is some good in most religions, it's just about picking the right things. Maybe YOU should start one of your own? Nirvana sounds like a good idea to me. ;)

Heaven and hell, the carrot and the stick.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions they say, and that is often true. The US plays cop in the world, and steamrolls Saddam under the excuse of avenging the 9/11 attack. Too busy taking care of others business to take care of their own (financial collapse anyone?)

I'm not saying Saddam is a good guy, and maybe these smoke and mirror games are required to keep the public at ease and prevent things from escalating, but that's basically saying that "we know what's good for you, now take this sweet pill."

Maybe these things are just bumps in the road towards A Better Place (TM), but I can't help thinking about it.

I read the other day that the universe could stop expanding.. or "working" or whatever in 50 billion years. The basic laws of physics implied that.

Well, isn't it time to stop the bickering and work together to bend the laws of nature so that we can ourselves be gods, and be able to manipulate everything?

I saw the Matrix some years ago with a friend (Erik) and he kinda got the point, it took a while (me being hung up on details) before I understood the metaphor. The most of us are living in an illusion, being born into it and being none the wiser.

Anyway, enough rambling. Just had to say something. :-)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Like a broken record (Atom feed)] [28 Sep 19:50 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Whitney Houston - I Wanna Dance With Somebody

;)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [28 Sep 13:40 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Aphex Twin - On

Bonus link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=toS-QvUtbfY

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [23 Sep 12:45 Europe/Oslo]

Don't hate the playa, hate the game

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3198/2856435471_e65eecb2db.jp...

I personally found the picture above funny. Still chuckling as I think about it and in the context of what Obama said earlier about lipstick on a pig.. well. Good one. :)

From the outside that election looks like a bit of a farce, with all the off-the-issues, dirty remarks.

But I see that here in Norway as well, you have a lot of politicians/newspapers who take mistakes other politicians make, and maximize it and really rub it in.. the drama is entertaining to some I guess, and it gives the tabloids something to write about.

Here's hoping whoever wins will do a good job. To me it's a win-win, the first time an African American is President, or a woman is Vice President.

Progress.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [21 Sep 08:41 Europe/Oslo]

A new magazine

http://bildr.no/view/257105

(Only understandable if you follow Norwegian news)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [19 Sep 15:19 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Bruce Hornsby - The way it is

Bonus link: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1tn79_bruce-hornsby-the-wa...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [17 Sep 02:14 Europe/Oslo]

Lost in translation

http://blogologue.com/oops.png

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [12 Sep 15:52 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Tina Turner - We don't need another hero

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [09 Sep 18:53 Europe/Oslo]

I can relate to that

http://www.osnews.com/images/comics/wtfm.jpg

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Work (Atom feed)] [02 Sep 00:28 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Salt-N-Pepa - Push it

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [29 Aug 14:16 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

George Harrison - I've got my mind set on you


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [27 Aug 00:52 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Kool & the gang - Celebration

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [26 Aug 00:45 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

ABBA - Dancing queen

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [21 Aug 11:04 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Johnny Nash - I can see clearly now

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [20 Aug 20:27 Europe/Oslo]

Redefining the rules

http://www.foundmagazine.com/images/finds/full/papercantwin....

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [16 Aug 02:09 Europe/Oslo]

Working through your issues

http://www.mydamnchannel.com/Big_Fat_Brain/You_Suck_at_Photo...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [13 Aug 14:22 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Bob Marley - Three little birds

Bonus link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtwGyxzxBDg

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [08 Aug 21:14 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Weezer - Pork and beans

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [07 Aug 14:04 Europe/Oslo]

Time on their hands

http://www.break.com/index/school-dorm-snake-game.html

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Studies (Atom feed)] [06 Aug 21:33 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Lupe Fiasco - Superstar

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [30 Jul 22:48 Europe/Oslo]

In vacation mode

Last Thursday we arrived at Mo i Rana, up in northern Norway, visiting Hilde's family.

It's been good, and right now we're at the family vacation place in Sjona:

http://no.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sjona

enjoying the nature (just look at those photos) and fishing. Caught some large fish so far, and will probably catch some more.

Fun to get back to fishing.. it's been a while. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Norway (Atom feed)] [24 Jul 23:19 Europe/Oslo]

Legal vacuums suck

NDA is part of the DNA of interesting business. I guess.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Business (Atom feed)] [22 Jul 00:45 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Snoop Dogg - Gin & Juice

Bonus link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6TUhx2wX0M

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [11 Jul 19:18 Europe/Oslo]

Family time, trip to Tusenfryd

Since last Friday, we (Hilde & I) have been having family visting, her parents, my mom and the extended family.

Lots of good food & drink, trips here & there.

Yesterday we went to Tusenfryd:

  http://tusenfryd.no/english/location.aspx

an amusement park here just outside of Oslo. Some pictures, me and my mom and Hilde and me:

No description available

No description available

On the last picture there you can see me clinging to the handlebar, as that could help in case something broke and we could fall out.  ;)

Hilde's family is good at arranging things together, and we have some good times;  in the short time we've been together (some 8 months and counting) it feels like I've gotten an big extended family and a lot of new friends.  And as you can see on the picture above, mom is enjoying herself as well.

We even went to the Bruce Springsteen concert on Monday, but I was too busy drinking beer and talking trash to take some pictures.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [09 Jul 19:26 Europe/Oslo]

Im on ur bed, wagging my tailz

http://my.break.com/content/view.aspx?ContentID=528932

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [01 Jul 23:13 Europe/Oslo]

It's all fun and games until someone looses a limb

http://niko.mirror.waffleimages.com/files/dd/dd703d8f1767d9c...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [01 Jul 01:38 Europe/Oslo]

I'd like to see that as well

http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=599793&amp;cid=2400...

I'm sure a lot of people have had that thought before.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Web (Atom feed)] [30 Jun 22:22 Europe/Oslo]

I like the name, I like the colors

Maybe get myself one of these soon?

http://www.openmoko.com/products-index.html

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Business (Atom feed)] [25 Jun 22:06 Europe/Oslo]

Wrap up

So, this Norwegian Wood thing was cool. Went there Thursday, Friday and Sunday (Saturday I attended a bad taste party, dressed as a gangsta).

Today Hellbillies (a Norwegian band) and Alanis Morisette played. Overall they were good performances, but the best had to be Foo Fighters on Thursday.

Oh well, another festival notch in the belt. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Norwegian Wood (Atom feed)] [16 Jun 00:09 Europe/Oslo]

Norwegian Wood

No description available

Yesterday was the first day at the Norwegian Wood, where we saw Dinosaur Jr and Foo Fighters.

The Foos were great live, and during the concert we found a sweet spot on the left hand of the scene where we got a great view of the whole thing.

Music + (one too many) beers + kebab pretty much sums it up.  Good fun, hope Queens of the stone age are as good as Foo were.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [13 Jun 16:23 Europe/Oslo]

Representin'

http://www.flickr.com/photos/niko_10/2210385882/

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Firefox (Atom feed)] [13 Jun 11:23 Europe/Oslo]

Last column

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Comparison_of_file...

(Thanks Vinay)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [09 Jun 18:29 Europe/Oslo]

Cool stuff

Whisking away in a car at 90 km/h in the middle of nowhere, and I still get EDGE level internet access on my phone - that is very cool. Will be visiting family this weekend, and attending a festival called Vømmølfestivalen. Maybe do some linkage afterwards, so you'll see what it is all about. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [29 May 20:45 Europe/Oslo]

Taking a walk

http://img141.imageshack.us/img141/1452/g2gtq9.jpg

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [29 May 12:58 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Guns'n'Roses - Civil war

Bonus link: http://video.aol.com/video-detail/civil-war-by-guns-n-roses-...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [28 May 14:12 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Kelly Rowland - Work (Put it in)

;)

Bonus linkage: http://youtube.com/watch?v=pjw9XTqMe6A

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [23 May 13:37 Europe/Oslo]

Advanced medicine

Thanks to my brother Kay for this one:

"A Japanese doctor said, 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.'

A German doctor said, 'That's nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.'

A British doctor said, 'In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half of a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.'

A Texas doctor, not to be outdone said, 'You guys are way behind. We took a man with no brains out of Texas , put him in the White House and now half the country is looking for work."


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [16 May 11:24 Europe/Oslo]

Unintended consequences

http://failblog.org/2008/04/24/logo-design-fail/

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [15 May 14:57 Europe/Oslo]

Don't think and drive

http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/02/10/funny-pictures-do-y...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [13 May 17:22 Europe/Oslo]

You say meet, I say greet

http://ihasahotdog.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/funny-dog-pic...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [09 May 12:04 Europe/Oslo]

To all the fat cats out there

http://gfx.dagbladet.decenturl.com/pub-artikkel-5-53-532-532...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [15 Apr 12:37 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Wyclef Jean - Gone til' November

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [09 Apr 12:19 Europe/Oslo]

Ello

http://i26.tinypic.com/10mpw2e.jpg

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Cute (Atom feed)] [06 Apr 14:21 Europe/Oslo]

Snappy

I've been skipping reading blogs and feeds for a while (using Bloglines for feed reading, works great).

Anyway, after reading Mozillazine's post on the latest Firefox beta:

  http://www.mozillazine.org/talkback.html?article=23077

and seeing you could install a separate version of Firefox without it messing around with the Firefox version I use regularly I thought why not.

Here's the link to the portable app version:

  http://portableapps.com/apps/internet/firefox_portable/test

I'm playing around with Vista these days, and I don't have the time (or inclination) to learn about how to backup the default Firefox profile so yeah, it seemed like a good idea.

What can I say, Firefox 3 rocks. It looks good, and it is fast as hell. Props to all the developers for this one. If I had to use one word to describe Firefox 3 it would be snappy.

I've seen Vista get a lot of flack, but it isn't that bad actually. A bit slow perhaps, and it gives the BSOD every time I try to connect to Nokia Communicator E90, but otherwise it's OK.

Oh well, have to test new things I guess, back to Ubuntu soon. :)


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Firefox (Atom feed)] [27 Mar 12:27 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Kanye West - Good life

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [26 Mar 13:45 Europe/Oslo]

On the 3rd try

84 words

Speed test

It was worth a couple of tries:

"353 points, so you achieved position 74628 of 1345635 on the ranking list.

You type 448 characters per minute
You have 84 correct words and you have 0 wrong words
Might be worth revisiting later. "

On the other hand, less is more.. ;)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Work (Atom feed)] [26 Mar 10:59 Europe/Oslo]

:)

By: Morten W. Petersen

Hehe, good point. Oh well, guess there are no simple solutions to complex issues after all. ;)

[Permalink] [By morten@nidelven-it.no] [ (Atom feed)] [06 Mar 19:57 Europe/Oslo]

With Openness, even the sky isn't the limit

http://blogologue.com/wow.png

Taken on my new ~1200 USD 15.4" laptop with Core 2 Duo and 4 GB RAM. Gotta love Ubuntu. :)


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [06 Mar 19:54 Europe/Oslo]

Why i dont need a Drinkers License

By: David Todd Watson

I act like an idiot everytime i drink... so I would lose my license right away. If there was a reward system to get it back, I probably would be a good boy until I got it back, and then lose it again.

People are idiots, and us idiots should be allowed to have fun too. Who would you make fun of if you didnt have idiots?

[Permalink] [By david@wow-medialab.com] [ (Atom feed)] [03 Mar 20:15 Europe/Oslo]

Drinker's license

I think we should have a drinkers license. Act like an idiot when you're drunk? Have it revoked.

Don't have it? OK, then you can't enter nightclubs, order drinks at restaurants or buy any alcohol "legally."

Just a thought.. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [15 Feb 13:17 Europe/Oslo]

Comfortable user interface

http://blog.air4web.com/bblog/pbimages/152.jpg

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [14 Feb 14:49 Europe/Oslo]

All grown up

http://www.little-gamers.com/index.php?comicID=576

(Updated to point to the right space..)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [11 Feb 21:39 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Pearl Jam - Jeremy

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [06 Feb 22:51 Europe/Oslo]

Quote of the day

Lift up the receiver, I'll make you a believer

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Quotes (Atom feed)] [06 Feb 22:47 Europe/Oslo]

Making a cozy home

http://www.ondrejbrody.org/newpics/cat-dog-carpets.jpg

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [31 Jan 11:38 Europe/Oslo]

Close call

http://it.youtube.com/watch?v=hgyZHYRGpTY

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [29 Jan 10:39 Europe/Oslo]

Preparation is everything

http://www.c00lstuff.com/1133/Do_s_and_don_ts_with_babies/

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [25 Jan 14:13 Europe/Oslo]

:*

By: Hilde

:* :)

[Permalink] [By hilol79@hotmail.com] [ (Atom feed)] [22 Jan 07:47 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love

:*

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [20 Jan 17:18 Europe/Oslo]

Something for the weekend

http://img.4chan.org/b/src/1200677477924.jpg

http://img.4chan.org/b/src/1200677163749.jpg

Ooops, looks like they pulled the files..

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [18 Jan 20:12 Europe/Oslo]

I am legend

Went to the movies with Hilde this evening, to watch I am legend. Nice movie, a bit over the top but it hit home. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [16 Jan 23:51 Europe/Oslo]

wow gold trade [Deleted]

This issue has been deleted, and was probably spam.

[Permalink] [By jhfsk@hotmail.com] [ (Atom feed)] [11 Jan 07:07 Europe/Oslo]

Sell wow gold [Deleted]

This issue has been deleted, and was probably spam.

[Permalink] [By jhtadfsk@hotmail.com] [ (Atom feed)] [11 Jan 07:05 Europe/Oslo]

Sell wow gold [Deleted]

This issue has been deleted, and was probably spam.

[Permalink] [By jhtadfsk@hotmail.com] [ (Atom feed)] [11 Jan 07:04 Europe/Oslo]

Sell wow gold [Deleted]

This issue has been deleted, and was probably spam.

[Permalink] [By jhfssk@hotmail.com] [ (Atom feed)] [11 Jan 07:02 Europe/Oslo]

Can't wait

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSpCWJnnWVI

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [10 Jan 11:48 Europe/Oslo]

world of warcraft gold [Deleted]

This issue has been deleted, and was probably spam.

[Permalink] [By jhfsk@hotmail.com] [ (Atom feed)] [10 Jan 08:36 Europe/Oslo]

wow gold trade [Deleted]

This issue has been deleted, and was probably spam.

[Permalink] [By jhfesk@hotmail.com] [ (Atom feed)] [10 Jan 08:33 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Michael Jackson - Black or white

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZI9OYMRwN1Q

;)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [09 Jan 11:17 Europe/Oslo]

It's been a hard day's night

And I've been working like a .. cat?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7_u0PgEbYE

;)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [07 Jan 20:03 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Soul II Soul - Back To Life

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvC1ijiyv1c

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [02 Jan 23:11 Europe/Oslo]

Refreshing change

Yesterday I helped out Kaye (my brother) on his store, doing an inventory count. We were some 10-15 people and spent 8 hours or so counting up stock.

I had a short stint earlier working at a similar store, but that didn't last long due to .. various reasons. :)

The tasks were easy enough, but there were some challenges as well, with things that didn't work as expected. One notable thing was the sticky notes used to keep track of the count on each product, but that was solved with rolls and rolls of tape.

Kaye has created a great working environment at the store, where people are friendly and sort out most things themselves without having anyone rip some lip. Kaye is a people person, I think I've always seen that in him.

Now all that's left is figuring out what I'm going get compensated for my help, if anything. ;)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Business (Atom feed)] [30 Dec 14:37 Europe/Oslo]

It's what you make of it

I'm lying here on the sofa with my laptop, just relaxing and watching what my brother is watching on the TV. We've got the computer hooked up to the TV using HDMI (sweet) and have the computer hooked up to the sound system as well.

As we were watching, I noticed that Kaye was online on MSN, so I decided to have some fun. I use Pidgin, but it is possible to nudge using the "/nudge" command, so I did that a couple of times.

The nudge sound came and went a couple of times (on the sound system), and I asked Kaye if maybe he should log off MSN while we were watching something (this has happened before).

Well, it took a couple of more nudges, but I got him out of the sofa. When he came to the computer and turned around I just laughed and he rolled his eyes.

I laughed hard for a while after that too. :)


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [28 Dec 23:29 Europe/Oslo]

I KILL YOU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4y-waHLz-TU

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [24 Dec 06:29 Europe/Oslo]

The gift that keeps on giving

I got a nice present for Christmas from Chris (http://magnon.wordpress.com/). It's a certificate which gives me some money I can loan out to entrepreneurs around the world, through

  http://www.kiva.org

I was daydreaming about something similar maybe half a year or year ago. I remember playing a lot of Sim City in my younger days, and the fun of that was building things and seeing what works.

I'd like to see something similar for developing countries; the ability to participate in some project somewhere, where you get frequent updates where you can see the results of your ideas, investments and things like that.

Might be helping modernize a town, might be something else. Total transparency would be needed of course.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Business (Atom feed)] [24 Dec 02:13 Europe/Oslo]

What to get myself

Christmas is a nice thing.  It's a bit of stress buying presents, and helping around the house - but you get out of the usual routine and get some days of pure joy and relaxation.

So, we have a little bit of extra cash in the company, so I'm wondering what it makes sense to spend that on.  If not saving it for a rainy day.

My laptop has been overheating randomly, and it's a bit slow.  Which is an annoyance at times as it is my ultimate work tool.  So, maybe getting a new, kick-ass laptop could be something.  On the other hand, it's not that long since I bought it, so maybe use it for another 6-12 months and get some ROI.  I wouldn't give it to anyone else, even for free, because it's badly worn.  :)

Anyway, I've also been considering taking an MBA.  It's expensive and time-consuming, but maybe also a good investment. If I can get the company to pay for the education and maybe some of the time spent studying, it could be a good thing.  It's good for the company, it's good for me.  But it will cost money.

Since my late teens I've not been big at school;  I used to love it, then dreaded it, now I'm kind of motivated for it again.  I see the value of adding to my "knowledge bank" the easy way, instead of trial-and-error (which is extremely valuable knowledge too, but maybe takes a while longer, not to mention might be more painful).

Oh well, we'll see.  Times are-a-changin' :)


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Business (Atom feed)] [22 Dec 21:03 Europe/Oslo]

Random suckage

A couple of days ago I bought a new wireless router, so I could lay on the sofa with my laptop.

Visiting mom for Christmas, and thought why not get a wireless router so that she and my sister get wireless access, and I get it whenever I'm here in Trondheim for business reasons.

Well, the first router didn't work.  It was cheap, so I thought to myself, OK - you get what you pay for.  It kept dropping the connection, both to the ADSL modem, as well as the laptop.  So I decided to try upgrading the firmware.  That helped for a little while, then it started misbehaving again.

Today I traded in that router for a more expensive one, and thought that would fix things.  But no;  after a while it completely shut down and was extremely hot when I tried to handle it.

So, I'm going to deliver that router back, and not buy anything from that router manufacturer for a while, and be skeptical about buying anything from that electric store.

Trading in the broken router was an ordeal in itself, as I got a receipt for only the "upgrade price";  when explaining that I needed a receipt for the entire amount for accounting, the employees were not sure what to do, and finally ended up giving me a "warranty slip" for the entire amount.  Which may be good enough for accounting, but I don't know.  But that's not too much of a problem now, as I'll be delivering the router back and getting a full refund.

What's the lesson here?  I dunno..  it might have been better to go to a more expensive, dedicated store.  If you spread too wide, chances are that the quality of what you're offering goes down.  It also makes sense to research products and brands first, so that you know what to go for before buying something.

Oh well, I'm back to using a cable for internet access now.  Which is OK, but it would've been better to have wireless.

:)


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Business (Atom feed)] [22 Dec 20:45 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Coldplay - Fix you

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [20 Dec 10:53 Europe/Oslo]

It's all a big mess

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [20 Dec 10:22 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Ozzy Osbourne - Dreamer

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [18 Dec 20:25 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Marc Cohn - Walking in Memphis

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [13 Dec 18:06 Europe/Oslo]

It's a lifestyle

Lately I've been considering how things are going in my life, with business, personal stuff and everything.

I was fortunate enough to meet a very sweet girl about a month ago. We've talked a lot about different things, and we are comfortable together. It's been a while since I had a girlfriend, so it took a while to get used to it.

Balancing work, a girlfriend, friends and other activities is a bit tricky, but I think I'm getting the hang of it. Hilde (my girl) is understanding, and we talk together about different things so it's working out.

I've been doing this Nidelven IT thing for 5 years now, and this year is going to be the best we've done so far. I feel we've got a good network, both through our partners and our customers.

I've been reading Wealth Bondage / Gift Hub for a while now, and it's been a part of my thought process. Serving the double bottom line, doing well while doing good.

It's a balancing act; taking care of those around you, making sure everyone gets a good deal, while also watching out for possible dangers.

If it's windy at the top, why not do it like the penguins do? :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Business (Atom feed)] [12 Dec 16:45 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Warren G - Regulate

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [12 Dec 16:38 Europe/Oslo]

Bubble trubble

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fi4fzvQ6I-o

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Business (Atom feed)] [06 Dec 13:45 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Elvis - Teddy Bear

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [01 Dec 22:36 Europe/Oslo]

Can't touch this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JomHWt7p6-c

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [30 Nov 19:47 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Rage Against the Machine - Fistful of Steel

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [30 Nov 18:52 Europe/Oslo]

Not yet

http://www.isitchristmas.com/

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [28 Nov 12:45 Europe/Oslo]

The softer end of Darwin's Shtick

http://youtube.com/watch?v=LLQki-mQF4Q

Norway is a good country to live in; you may blame that on the oil resources, but I'd like to think it's the culture, laws and social norms that have given us these benefits.

Related: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jante_Law


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [27 Nov 16:22 Europe/Oslo]

Unwanted (but funny) message, from (in your) face book

No description available

Translation:

Sweaty balls?

Try Balls Powder!  Keeps your crown jewels dry and comfortable.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Business (Atom feed)] [26 Nov 14:25 Europe/Oslo]

A terrable mistake

The last week a news story has been rolling on TV2 Nyhetskanalen (dedicated news channel here in Norway), about some communities in northern Norway which invested many millions of dollars in a "clever" package sold by Terra Securities (and created by Citibank).

It's human to make mistakes, but you would think that when there's that much money involved, you'd check, double-check and triple-check everything.

Oh well.

More about it here:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21942563/


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Business (Atom feed)] [24 Nov 22:07 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Frank Sinatra - Strangers in the night

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [23 Nov 20:09 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Snap - I've got the power

;)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [15 Nov 18:37 Europe/Oslo]

Extra, extra

This blog entry is in BOLD, with BIG LETTERS and has some OUTRAGEOUS SUGGESTIONS so that you WILL want to read MORE.


Related:

  • Celebrity X acts like an idiot (the real shocker here - they're human!)
  • Numerous celebrities spotted at one place, with lots of fancy clothes and makeup
<insert flash ad here which might make your browser go slowly or even crash it>


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [14 Nov 17:40 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Propellerheads - History Repeating

Bonus link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnZiPhaBqF8

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [11 Nov 21:22 Europe/Oslo]

eq != iq

Yesterday I went to my first appointment with the physiotherapist, which was an interesting and fun experience.

Roger was his name, a swede that had lived in Alta (Northern Norway) for 12 years and now living in Oslo.

I think we went on for about 30 minutes, but time flied by as we were busy talking about soccer, spurred by Rosenborg - my favorite and home-town team, owning Valencia in Tuesdays Champions League match. I've never seen Rosenborg kick that much butt against a formidable opponent like Valencia.

The physiotherapist pulled, massaged, twisted and whatever - using a strap at times so he could use his own body weight to pull my leg. Yes, literally, he was pulling my leg. :)

Interesting experience. I've never been .. "handled" by a guy before, but it was totally OK and I'm sure that's thanks to Roger who was able to keep it casual by talking and being friendly.

After the treatment I could lift my leg up higher without experiencing pain, whether that was in my head or an actual improvement I'm not sure. But I think so.

My respect and appreciation for health care professionals grows by each day.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Sciatica (Atom feed)] [08 Nov 13:44 Europe/Oslo]

Round, round baby round, round

http://www.celsias.com/2007/11/04/earth-clock/

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [05 Nov 16:29 Europe/Oslo]

Select your networks with care

Captured this screenshot as I was on the train back from Verdal to Trondheim:

http://blogologue.com/networking.png


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [03 Nov 20:41 Europe/Oslo]

It's good to be home

Arrived home about 45 minutes ago, after taking the plane from Trondheim. I'd rather take the train, but no tickets were available until the start of next week, and the prospect of sitting for 6-7 hours with Sciatica wasn't that interesting.

Oh well, time to get settled, and dig into the mounting pile of work..

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [03 Nov 20:07 Europe/Oslo]

Wanting to be creamy

http://www.makemylogobiggercream.com/

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Business (Atom feed)] [01 Nov 08:26 Europe/Oslo]

Editing online

Using my phone to blog a bit, and it is working well.. Surprisingly, the javascript features I added a long time ago still work, even if it is an unusual browser.

Oh well.. time to chill. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [E 90 (Atom feed)] [28 Oct 17:02 Europe/Oslo]

Congrats

Congratulations to Plone Solutions on their new name, Jarn. A wise move.. :)

http://www.jarn.com/

http://www.jarn.com/plone-solutions-rebrands-company-as-jarn

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Business (Atom feed)] [22 Oct 14:58 Europe/Oslo]

Poisoning the well

Interesting phrase, I hadn't noticed it earlier, but understand it all too well now..

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poisoning_the_well

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [22 Oct 03:30 Europe/Oslo]

Sucking it up

This Sciatica thing has been bugging me for 4-5-6 weeks now, and it goes up and down, but it is always there. Last Monday I took some x-rays and the doctor should have them soon, so I guess it's just about waiting to hear what the doctor has to say about it.

Speaking to my mom (back problems are a common thing, and women talk-talk-talk :) a couple of days ago, I learned that these things can be for life. You can operate and such but it isn't certain that an operation will fix the problem and there may be relapses.

The proper exercise, stretches and such can help, and could be a better or complementary alternative to having an operation.

For me, the Sciatica isn't so bad, a combination of two different painkillers up to 3 times a day is taking the edge off things, and taking these isn't affecting me much (that I can notice anyway) except taking the pain away. I'm a little bit worried about the long-term effect of these pills on the stomach and liver though.

Experiencing this really makes me reconsider my lifestyle and how I treat my body. I exercise and I'm probably more fit now than ever before, but my guess is that a bad working posture has been one of the things that has led to this. I have a couple of vices, and maybe I should give up those as well, before it is too late.

Maybe.. :)

Oh well, it isn't so bad. I can work, exercise, walk (with a pimp limp!), talk and function relatively normally. Remembering what my mom always told me when I was younger: you should be grateful you can walk, talk and do completely normal things. She should know, after having worked with physically disabled people for most of her adult life.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Sciatica (Atom feed)] [22 Oct 01:41 Europe/Oslo]

Whackin' the box

My company is offering some new packages for those of our customers that are a bit vary about cost and scope:

http://www.nidelven-it.no/custom/plone/hjemmeside/services/o...

We've been delivering these packages together with the talented guys from WOW Medialab (http://www.wow-medialab.com) for a while, and here's hoping some will trip over this offer on our company website as well.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Business (Atom feed)] [22 Oct 01:36 Europe/Oslo]

Quote of the day

Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Quotes (Atom feed)] [20 Oct 19:19 Europe/Oslo]

In all honesty (taking a hike)

http://www.nidelven-it.no/weblogs/hosting/blog_entry?id=1190...

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Business (Atom feed)] [19 Oct 17:52 Europe/Oslo]

Top ten

VG, I guess the biggest newspaper in Norway, both in print and online, have a top-ten list over good reasons to choosing Linux:

  http://www1.vg.no/teknologi/artikkel.php?artid=175791

Guess you don't need a big marketing budget when the product.. sells itself through word of mouth. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Ubuntu (Atom feed)] [19 Oct 02:56 Europe/Oslo]

As not seen on TV

Interviewer: So, what do you think of Donald Trump?
Interviewee: Donald Trump.. He has built something, so I guess you gotta respect that.
Interviewee: Hey, do you like clowns?
Interviewer: Yeah.. I guess.
Interviewee: Yeah, me too. They look funny and make me laugh. Not all are funny though.
Interviewee: I started loosing my hair a while ago, and hey, I noticed you have lost some hair as well. Still looks OK though. I mean - you're a guy. I just shave my head and it looks OK too.
Interviewer: Yeah, it was a little tough at first loosing my hair, but then I came over it and just let go.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [18 Oct 21:01 Europe/Oslo]

Food for thought

http://homepage.mac.com/dmhart/WarArt/Goya/3rdMay1808.JPG

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Art (Atom feed)] [18 Oct 02:36 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Katharine McPhee - Love story

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [17 Oct 23:03 Europe/Oslo]

Exit strategy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXmOJRiPdUs

Still makes me laugh. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [17 Oct 17:56 Europe/Oslo]

A performance by the good doctor

"We might disquise the medicine of philosophy in sweet tasting candy. Such the method of art. Can art cure those who are convinced they are not sick? Can art cure those who are so sick as to make virtues of their vices? Who hire think tanks and publicists to praise and promote their disease?"

http://www.gifthub.org/2007/10/the-role-of-t-1.html


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [16 Oct 08:28 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

The Cranberries - Linger

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [16 Oct 08:12 Europe/Oslo]

Mikke

This only makes sense if you know Norwegian, but in any case:

http://photos-d.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sctm/v128/117/61/6...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [15 Oct 14:34 Europe/Oslo]

Transaction costs

http://bash.org/?814243

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Business (Atom feed)] [15 Oct 00:20 Europe/Oslo]

Oops

I noticed there were some problems with my feed this morning, which made it break badly. Well, it is duct-tape fixed for now, but I'll be pushing out a new release soon with a better fix.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Issue Dealer (Atom feed)] [14 Oct 14:28 Europe/Oslo]

Baseline

There were some discussions on #joiito regarding capitalism and socialism among other things, which got me thinking again.

On my page it says that I am "more socialistic than capitalistic, hoping that capitalism is a means to modern socialism and that we will become strong enough to find a meaning without resorting to religion."

What I mean by that, is that I believe in capitalism's ability to get things done, efficiently. I also believe that people should have at least two levels in their basic needs covered, as seen in Maslow's pyramid:

http://tinyurl.com/6ujce

in Norway we have a good thing going, with a public health service that's funded by the taxes people pay. So, anyone can get health care. One thing I often see in the media though, is that there are long waiting lines for operations and other things.

If you've seen movies like The Corporation and Sicko, you know that (at least in the US), corporations tend to behave like psychopaths, only focusing on profits. That for example health insurance companies use dirty tricks to stop people from getting the care they're actually paying for. When it comes to health, this is a very bad thing.. I know from personal experience that it can be hard even asking for help if you have a medical problem, even if the treatment is (close to) free. The insurance companies say that "the system works" whenever they have lost all their appeals and the person finally gets their treatment (paid for), but my guess is that a lot of people suffer and/or die because they don't have the "juice" to fight health problems and a company at the same time.

So, in the case of health insurance and health care, I believe that health care should be universal, and funded by the taxes people pay. I do however believe that health service providers could and should be private. But then we need a system that rewards and penalizes (in monetary terms) these health providers based on the service they provide to their patients. It IS OK to make a profit, if you're smart, hardworking and/or creative. In itself, I think giving health care is a very rewarding job (I have a huge respect for doctors for example), but it is always extra motivating if you can make some extra money which you can use on a fancy vacations, new gadgets and so on.

And that's the good thing about capitalism.. it promotes competition and gives an incentive to do things better, which ultimately benefits us all.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [14 Oct 05:21 Europe/Oslo]

Coin update

The coin I laid outside the doorstep has been lying there for 3 days or so now. Interesting, one day it was pushed to the corner so I pushed it back.

Heh. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Social experiment #1 (Atom feed)] [14 Oct 03:27 Europe/Oslo]

HP OfficeJet 6310 All-in-one

By: Morten W. Petersen

And it's working nicely! :)

[Permalink] [By morten@nidelven-it.no] [ (Atom feed)] [13 Oct 17:30 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Elton John - I'm still standing

;)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [13 Oct 03:13 Europe/Oslo]

The circle of life

Python 2.5.1 (r251:54863, May 2 2007, 16:56:35)
[GCC 4.1.2 (Ubuntu 4.1.2-0ubuntu4)] on linux2
Type "help", "copyright", "credits" or "license" for more information.
>>> import math
>>> "%.2f" % (42/math.pi)
'13.37'
>>>

http://www.linoweb.net/?p=392

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Programming (Atom feed)] [12 Oct 20:28 Europe/Oslo]

Which?

By: Vinay

Which printer is it? Details please! :)

[Permalink] [By shastry@nidelven-it.no] [ (Atom feed)] [12 Oct 17:56 Europe/Oslo]

On second thought

I read a very interesting comment on /.:

http://linux.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=325553&amp;thresho...

and giving it some thought, I think those at the top @ Microsoft might know that there are holes in the dam and that the desktop monopoly is about to bust. Maybe it is just about buying time to entrench other markets and earn some more money on the desktop bit while they can..

[Permalink] [By morphex] [I <3 my Linux (Atom feed)] [11 Oct 23:55 Europe/Oslo]

Blog frequency

You readers of my weblog have probably noticed a burst of blog entries lately. I don't know exactly why that is, but I'm feeling energetic and creative.

I know friends are reading this blog, and that's enough for me really. The reason I find Facebook so interesting is that you get to see what's happening with people you know, it's entertainment, but I think it's more edible, human and real than what you get on the TV. It's fresh. :)

Those who know me, know that I'm not that much of an outgoing person, and that I like to think. And talking about things (thinking out loud) is useful when it comes to processing thoughts; blogging also puts pressure on the person who blogs, as anyone can comment and call you on bullshit, or link to you and say that's a load of crock.

Anyway, the reason I started this entry is another blog entry about blogging:

  http://www.mpdailyfix.com/2006/06/w_why_blog_post_frequency_...

which has a lot of interesting points. I think my goals for this blogging thing is just to speak what's on my mind and be honest. And blog when I feel like it.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Blogging about blogging (Atom feed)] [11 Oct 23:25 Europe/Oslo]

Kebab nation

After moving to Oslo, there's been a lot of Kebab eating, as Kebabs are tasty and fairly cheap. There are 2-3 Kebab shops right nearby (the part of town we live in is ethnically diverse), and some days it is just easier to go to one of those places and buy a dinner.

I think it is a fairly balanced meal as well, with meat, vegetables, bread and some other goodies.

My favorite is the Kebab roll, listed here:

  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Kebabs#Scandinavia

It's also a dish many people opt for when coming back from parties, but you'd already know that by reading this:

"In the UK kebabs are most popularly eaten after a night out and many kebab shops will do their main business in the hours around closing time for local pubs and clubs. The same applies for The Netherlands, Australia and Scandinavia."

  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kebab

There's a delightful mix of culture here in Grønland, in fact, we have a shopping mall located in the same building where we're living and there you have different stores - for example a stored called Bollywood.no:

  http://www.bollywood.no/

where you can get different kinds of movies made in Bollywood. I saw some movies like that when I was staying in India, but those were on TV and not that good (and in a language I didn't understand), surely there are better movies available on DVD now. Note to self: try out some of those movies. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Food (Atom feed)] [11 Oct 22:37 Europe/Oslo]

iBrick

It's the newest, hottest thing in communication. Being based on commodities, it easily becomes a platform for 3rd party developers. Its compact design and tasteful color makes it a perfect accessory for those of you who are.. consumed by how things look.

For example, you can easily create a multimedia messaging system on it, by using simple things such as a rubber band and a Polaroid picture. Fasten the picture to your iBrick and throw it through your friends window. For extra effect, you can scream before, during and after the throw - imagine that!

Of course, with such treatment it may scratch or wear out, but that's no problem as the monetary benefits of your new social status with the iBrick will enable you to buy to your hearts content.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Apple (Atom feed)] [11 Oct 18:34 Europe/Oslo]

I <3 my Linux

Yesterday I bought myself a printer; I haven't had one for years as I've been trying to go "paperless".. but, things being what they are, you have to print documents at times, sign them and get them scanned in some cases.

That's why I bought an all-in-one printer from HP (Officejet) which supports printing, scanning and faxing.

Yesterday the printer was setup, and setting up the printer on Linux was peaches; just search for a printer, and there it was found - on the network.

Today though I had to scan some things as well, and XSane couldn't find the scanner, so I had to download and run the HPLIP installer:

  http://hplip.sourceforge.net/index.html

it asked a bunch of questions, un-installed the default HPLIP installation and installed itself. Easy enough, but maybe not that easy for mortal users.

So, now I have a printer and scanner on the network, and it's working quite well. I remember the days where setting up a printer in Linux could be quite a job, with kernel compiling, library dependencies, special applications and whatnot.

Linux sure has come a long way, and in some areas it is better than Windows, even though Linux is Free.. it's interesting to see Ballmer the monkey scream and jump around about how Linux infringes on their intellectual property, trying to scare people and organizations from using it and getting a cut.

Sure, some things in Linux are copied or pretty similar to what's in Windows, but then again, how much has Microsoft copied from others without paying a dime? And how many dirty tricks has Microsoft used throughout the years to build and maintain their monopoly?

The distaste for Microsoft grows for each day, and even if they come up with cool things every now and then, it just doesn't appeal to me, getting or using something that is tainted by their past and current antics.

What would the world have looked like today, without Microsoft? One can only wonder..

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Ubuntu (Atom feed)] [11 Oct 17:44 Europe/Oslo]

Re-installing Ubuntu

A while ago I managed to screw up my Ubuntu installation by upgrading to an experimental version, and as a result of that I ended up running Windows XP for a while, because I didn't want to spend time fixing my Ubuntu installation.

But, lately I've been having problems with my Windows installation lagging and being irritatingly slow, so I'm back to Ubuntu Linux again. At least with Linux, I know when it is my fault when something breaks.

I'm actually blogging this from the computer I'm currently installing on, which is in itself a very cool thing. Wireless and everything works out of the box.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Ubuntu (Atom feed)] [10 Oct 16:35 Europe/Oslo]

Quote of the day

It's Britney, bitch

http://www.yousaytoo.com/gallery_image/pic/7875/britney-spea...


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Quotes (Atom feed)] [10 Oct 07:55 Europe/Oslo]

It's times like these

I'm glad I pay my taxes.

Went to the doctor today and did some more tests; looks like there is indeed a herniated disk.. That means taking X-rays and going to a physiotherapist.

Fortunately I don't have to pay much for this, thanks to the public health system we have here in Norway.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Sciatica (Atom feed)] [09 Oct 12:14 Europe/Oslo]

Another view of Facebook

http://www.dumpfolder.net/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/faceboo...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Facebook (Atom feed)] [09 Oct 00:42 Europe/Oslo]

Heh

Another day, another krone. I really wonder if it's the same person picking up the coins.. I'll just keep putting coins there for now, and see if something interesting happens.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Social experiment #1 (Atom feed)] [08 Oct 23:24 Europe/Oslo]

The time is right

Some of you may have noticed that the time was off on the weblog posts, but that should be corrected now. :)

TZ='Europe/Oslo'; export TZ

was all it needed.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [08 Oct 21:18 Europe/Oslo]

Sciatica

Some weeks ago I got a shooting pain in my right leg, and couldn't figure out what was causing it. So shortly after I went to the "emergency doctor" and got a diagnose of Lumbago/Sciatica.

I've read quite a bit about Sciatica on the net so I have an understanding of what it is and what to do about it, but it seems like I'll have to get some professional help to fix it.

My personal trainer Peter gave me some stretching exercises which should fix things, but that hasn't helped much so far.

So it's probably a disc herniation or something that's "locked" back there, so professional help is the next logical step and I'll see my doctor in a couple of days to see if something can be arranged.

I'm getting tired of chugging down painkillers in any case, getting through the maximum recommended amount for two different painkiller brands per day, and I'd rather be without it.. but what can you do, it's either that or have shooting pains.. the first day I took those pills I just had to lay down and relax for a while - it took the wind out of me.

Oh well, what doesn't kill you etc. ;)

Bonus link: interesting article on how to treat Sciatica:

http://www.bodybuildingforyou.com/articles-submit/jesse-cann...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [08 Oct 02:28 Europe/Oslo]

Top 10

Every once in a while I like to have a look at statistics, and these are the top-ten countries for visitors to blogologue.com:

Norway
Denmark
Germany
Turkey
Belgium
United Kingdom
Australia
Japan
Canada
Netherlands

all interesting countries and places I'd like to go. I think Australia, Japan, Turkey and Canada are the only places I haven't been yet. And Turkey might come up soon..

1.4% of my visitors are running Linux, and there's even one visitor who's using the operating system GNU - I wonder whether that's Debian GNU/Linux or maybe something running Hurd? :)


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [08 Oct 02:16 Europe/Oslo]

A coin a day

So, the coin went missing again. I put a new coin there now.. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Social experiment #1 (Atom feed)] [07 Oct 20:18 Europe/Oslo]

Robbed again

Heh.. so, the coin was gone again last night. I put a new one there a couple of hours ago.

I wonder if it's one person, or different people, who's picking up the coins.

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Social experiment #1 (Atom feed)] [05 Oct 15:56 Europe/Oslo]

Memories

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSDeoO-j3G0

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [04 Oct 16:52 Europe/Oslo]

Interesting

OK. CNN is good, but sometimes bad. I can watch this all day though:

http://edition.cnn.com/CNN/anchors_reporters/stout.kristie.h...

:)

Talking about the same stories, hour after hour, smiling and laughing. Now that's a tough job.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [04 Oct 03:14 Europe/Oslo]

Crash

<Nixon> Var et sånt firma som gikk ned veldig på tirsdag.
<Nixon> Alt av siter var nede hele dagen.
<Nixon> De hadde en sånn hjemmeside der det stod i topp-banneret, (sic)
<Nixon> VI HAR FULL KONTOLL PÅ DITT NETTSTED
* Rad chuckles.
<Nixon> De syntes visst ikke det var så morsomt at man ringte å påpekte det.

For those of you who don't understand Norwegian:

A hosting company had a lot of problems on Tuesday. On their website it said "WE HAVE FULL CONTOL ON YOUR WEBSITE."

They weren't very happy when Nixon (Daniel) pointed that out.

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Business (Atom feed)] [03 Oct 23:51 Europe/Oslo]

Business

Hey, I just noticed I don't have a business category. Here we go.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [All (Atom feed)] [03 Oct 23:50 Europe/Oslo]

It took less than a day - day 2

So, the coin I left in the hallway was gone late this afternoon:

No description available

so I left a new coin there when I noticed:

No description available

I SOO wish I had some sort of monitoring in the hallway, so that I could've seen who took the coin.  :)

Well, a new coin is there now, let's see how long it takes before that disappears.  And again, with some monitoring it would've been even more interesting.

Hey, there's a concept.



[Permalink] [By morphex] [Social experiment #1 (Atom feed)] [03 Oct 23:43 Europe/Oslo]

Good service

So, my Bose headset broke. On both sides, a crack in the plastic over each headphone. Called them today, told them the model and when I bought it and they just said "that was a bad batch" - send it in, you'll get a new one.

Good service.

Looking forward to good sound. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Bose (Atom feed)] [03 Oct 22:53 Europe/Oslo]

Core & Squats

Today I was working out at the gym (Elixia - it rocks), doing some warm up (it was a cardio really) first, and then something my gym calls "core" training, which is good for the back and stomach.

The core training has an exercise for the stomach where you sit on top of a ball and lean back; compared to sit-ups this exercise is a killer, I can feel the pain doing 50-75% of the sit-ups I usually do.

We have a guy called Peter who leads these core sessions, and they're always good fun. Towards the end of the session we do Simon says (gives me the feeling of being in gym class at school, only this time around I'm not chubby!), where the penalty for doing something wrong is the plank, which you can see here:

  http://exercise.about.com/library/graphics/plank1.jpg

Time flies by and we're suddenly done.

I've been reading about training on the internet lately, and one of the things people recommend is doing squats. So, after warm up & core, me and my brother went over to do some squats.

Man, were they hard to do. I think I did 60 or 70 KGs 3x8 (which is nothing, really) and it was killer. I'll have to try to do those more often. After that my legs were like gel and wobbly when I walked down to the showers, anyone seeing me could've mistaken me for Elvis. ;P

[Permalink] [By morphex] [The gym (Atom feed)] [03 Oct 01:04 Europe/Oslo]

Dogs-r-us

http://www.geocities.jp/deal_steal/inu4.html

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [02 Oct 22:46 Europe/Oslo]

Social experiment #1

Earlier today I dropped a coin as I was picking up the keys from my pocket, to unlock the door.

It was just 1 krone (1 NOK), so I didn't bother picking it up. It still laid there when I got back though, so I got a crazy idea. Let's just leave it there and check every day if anyone takes it.

When it lies that close to the door, you can kinda guess that it belongs to whomever lives there, so it will be interesting to see if someone takes it, and if so, how long it takes.

Here's the picture from day 1:

No description available

I'll update you on the status every now and then.. should be interesting.  :)


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Huh? (Atom feed)] [02 Oct 20:10 Europe/Oslo]

Size

yo mamma is so fat, jabba the hut said dammmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnn

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [30 Sep 22:24 Europe/Oslo]

Spanked

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKSxHYK_wfs

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [30 Sep 15:54 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Mariah Carey - Anytime you need a friend

;)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [28 Sep 07:02 Europe/Oslo]

This E 90 is a sweet device

I'm really warming up to the E 90. Been playing some more with it now, and yes, it was a good buy.

Not 100% comfortable with the keyboard yet, but all the bells and whistles on this phone are just great.

I can set different ringtones for SMS messages (even MP3s), received calls and other things (currently using some pretty cheesy but funny ringtones), it works as a modem for my laptop (which came in handy, as my ISP has issues right now).

Using the E 90 as a modem was painless. Just plug it in, start the Nokia suite and open the internet connectivity tool, connect and start surfing.. yay for price caps on internet access!

Getting 198 kbit/s down and 67 kbit/s up when surfing via the phone, which is nice. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [E 90 (Atom feed)] [28 Sep 01:56 Europe/Oslo]

Why the internet is a win (oh it's all about control?)

Over the last couple of years I've been reading various websites and a common theme (that I have noticed anyway) is sticking it to the man, whoever that might be.

It's interesting to see how those who were .. dominant in their time, such as recording companies, getting squeezed on for example DRM.

I had a chat with some FIX people earlier tonight (telnet fix.no), which sparked this post; we were talking about music, downloading music and paying for it. We also discussed DVDs and their region codes.. I think I've bumped into the problem with region codes once so I haven't given much thought to it.

Anyway, you can see the Wikipedia page here:

  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DVD_region_code

which mentions that "The purpose of this system is to allow motion picture studios to control the various aspects of a release (including content, date and, in particular, price) according to the region."

OK. Well, back to DRM. I think that's a system dreamed up by paranoid a-holes who want to earn as much as possible (see Wikipedia quote), and they're clinging to it for dear life, because they don't have the ability to adapt. They can't compete a virtually free product, so what they need to do is give up DRM and protecting their old ways and find a better product. Many things spring to mind for music: hold more concerts, charge more for the concert, give each user who downloads a song a certificate of some sort, which says that the user supports that band (that could be social credibility..). Heck, make buying a song a lottery, so that people can win concert tickets with a backstage pass!

I could go on and on.

Now, back to downloading music. I use mp3sparks, because it's my understanding that it is legal in Norway (that's what some Norwegian state person said in some article on a website a while ago anyway). There is an ethical issue there however, and that is artist compensation; from what I understand, artists get little or no compensation when I buy music from mp3sparks. OK.

But what about giving me a DRM-free alternative, where I can buy the music and do whatever I want with it? I'm not saying I want buy music, start a file sharing site and rob artists of their money, but I want to buy something, own it, maybe give a couple of songs to my friends so they can try them out. I see Amazon have started a DRM-free store, but it's not available for users outside of the US. I do have some qualms about using Amazon though, due to their lame 1-click patents and what have you. And the DRM-free music selection in the iTunes store sucks (last time I checked - this is in Norway) iTunes sucks (it's slow and a in my opinion poorly designed piece of software). I'm not an Apple hater though, I have an iPod shuffle and love it.

Which brings me to watermarking. When you purchase some watermarked songs and decide to share some with your friends so that they can try it out, and some end up on a file sharing site for whatever reason - are you to blame? Do you get prosecuted and/or sued? There are some issues with watermarking, but in any case, it's a lesser "weevil" than DRM in my opinion.

The internet is a wonderful, open ended thing and it's sparking conversations between people, all over the world. No one owns it, no one can control it and look! It's exploding.

The internet is so elusive that protesters in Burma are able to use it and broadcast the truth about what's happening there. So, not only is the government feeling pressure from beneath (yes.. I think some states govern "over" people), they're getting pressure from the rest of the world as well, because politicians are being pressured by people who get access to information about what's happening in Burma.

Ultimately though, governments have to serve the people, or you'll have revolutions, protests and whatnot. And the people on top will listen to the masses when they change their minds about something. So what we need is an open way to communicate and collaborate, and the internet is just that. You can talk to anyone in the world, exchange ideas and opinions and make people smarter, more informed.

DRM is one of many pitfalls we can fall into in the new information age; because it enables some to control others. Control has an overhead!

First we have region codes or DRM, then we get systems that block certain information in certain regions and ultimately we get more of the status quo, where information about what's really going on is being withheld from us. Is that what we want?

I don't need someone to feed me bullshit and tell me what to do. I want to understand why something is and make up my own mind and make my own decisions and take the consequences for it.

That's what the internet can bring; we can have .. systems that enable people to voice their opinions on issues and make it count. What if someone starts a Facebook group for human rights, and 1/3 of the population in a region join it? Doesn't that send a pretty clear message?

If the ones in control don't respond to it, we can get organized and revolt, or "vote" for someone else..

The internet enables people, it is a wonderful thing, as it is today.

OK, I'm done with this quick little rant. Maybe I'll give more thought to it and rewrite it later.. thanks for listening. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [27 Sep 02:41 Europe/Oslo]

Sounds complicated

http://www.areyoumyhero.com/i_am_a_hero.php?id=761

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [27 Sep 01:36 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Amerie - 1 thing

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [24 Sep 17:11 Europe/Oslo]

E 90

So, I've been playing a bit with my Nokia E 90, which I received last week.

First impressions: it's a big phone. Not only in size, but also in its capabilities. It plays Youtube videos, lets me download just about any music I want (http://www.mp3sparks.com thank you very much) and it's all good.

One small gripe with the device is the keyboard however. It just doesn't fit, and finding keys in the dark is proving difficult (maybe that gets easier).

So far I've installed instant messaging, an IRC client, a SSH client (putty for Symbian, yay) and some other things.

It's cool that the device has two screens; one big internal one, and one regular "mobile phone" display. So I can load up a video in Youtube using the browser and navigating with the keyboard, then close the phone and have the video display on the front. Neat.

I'm going to try to use it as a "connecting device" for my laptop soon as well, to see if its wireless, 3G and other capabilities enable me to use it as a kind of modem. Will let you know how it goes.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Nokia (Atom feed)] [24 Sep 17:03 Europe/Oslo]

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Stars of tomorrow

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RGVloJzYnk

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http://www.linuxgenuineadvantage.org/

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Just another day @work

http://wps.socwall.com/Space/General/200718083050-3716.jpg

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Work (Atom feed)] [28 Aug 15:04 Europe/Oslo]

YMCA

I was reading on boing boing and saw this

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCgrG35-3js

really made me laugh.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [23 Aug 02:06 Europe/Oslo]

Security

http://www.jamesmcadam.co.uk/portfolio_html/sb_table.html

I haven't gotten myself a night table yet. I wonder if you can order these. :)

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[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [18 Aug 14:07 Europe/Oslo]

Wonderful

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oxTy7KIAaA

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [17 Aug 13:46 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Shop boyz - Party like a rockstar

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [15 Aug 17:01 Europe/Oslo]

Lidl Rebel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5B79N23pSro

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [10 Aug 12:22 Europe/Oslo]

Rockin' @ sixty+

I got a bit of a surprise yesterday. Went to see the Rolling Stones and wow.. those guys rocked.

Some of their music I've listened to and it's OK, but seeing them perform the songs live and kick has made me into a fan I think.

I was meeting someone before the concert, to .. arrange something. But this dude didn't show up and I was waiting, so I tok a cab to the concert.

Just as I walked in on the left hand side of the stadium, fireworks went off and the Stones started playing. It's a shame I missed the warm-up, Dandy Warholes.

Bought some beers, found my brother and we were standing there, chilling, drinking beer, smoking Lucky Strike and listening to the Stones.

We saw some cute chicks too and had an opportunity, but we were like.. let's chill, drink beer and just enjoy the concert.

So there we were enjoying the show and time whizzed by and it was over.

Great band. I hope I'm as energetic when I'm 60+.

Here's some pics, for those of you who are on facebook:

  http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=17035&amp;id=740301083

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [09 Aug 15:26 Europe/Oslo]

Strip club and gay bar

So, I went out with 2 girls on Friday. We were having beers and I mentioned I knew some strippers that were working.

We ended up going to a place called Diamond, where we watched a couple of girls dance. As well as meeting Maria and Anne.

Maria is mentioned here btw:

  http://www.seher.no/cm/SeHer/Kjendisnytt/Norske/1.599716

anyway, we saw some shows, had a beer and moved on to a place called Garage. Drank some more and we went to another place called London.

When entering London I noticed that there was almost only guys there. Turns out the girls took med to a gay bar. I was even groped on the way out!

That was an interesting Friday...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [05 Aug 17:00 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Tori Amos - Caught a lite sneeze

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [05 Aug 15:36 Europe/Oslo]

A little office action

http://bp3.blogger.com/_viHEhhBk2WY/RdsRwNGG1MI/AAAAAAAAAM4/...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [04 Aug 22:55 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Terry Jacks - Seasons in the sun

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[Permalink] [By warwar@yahoo.com] [ (Atom feed)] [28 Jul 13:26 Europe/Oslo]

Working my way up

So, I was at the gym today - a new gym (Elixia) which I just became a member of. Decided to have some fun and put 220 lbs in the bench press. What would you know, I managed to lift that for 1 1/2 (12 lifts) set.

That's roughly 100 KGs, and I think I did 50 or 60 not so long ago, so almost doubled it then.. not bad.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [The gym (Atom feed)] [25 Jul 23:33 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Blind Melon - No rain

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [25 Jul 16:14 Europe/Oslo]

A guy with wings

Was this dude that commented on my new tattoo today, in the showers after gym. Turns out he has had cancer 8 times and was going back for tests this fall.

He had real wings (scars) on his back.


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Reminds me of something

http://www.mandolux.com/archive/2007/0704.html

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Art (Atom feed)] [05 Jul 17:27 Europe/Oslo]

Tattoo

I posted it on Facebook, so it might as well post it here. My new tattoo:

  http://blogologue.com/tattoo.jpg

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Art (Atom feed)] [05 Jul 01:09 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Enigma - Return to innocence

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [03 Jul 19:33 Europe/Oslo]

One proud bro

My brother just got himself some tattoos. It is rumored they help with.. your charm.

No description available



[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [30 Jun 16:40 Europe/Oslo]

Interesting news day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VdNcCcweL0

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [29 Jun 12:10 Europe/Oslo]

Settling in

I'm starting to settle in now, in my new apartment in Oslo. Found an OK gym and got to try another gym for free as well (a great gym which is a bit farther away).

It's been a lot of parties since I moved here, but it should get a bit more quiet - burning the candle at both ends only works for so long.

Just a couple of things left now for the apartment: a night table, a new wireless router (the D-Link I bought initially was useless), maybe a lamp or two and maybe some posters / pictures / paintings to have on the walls.

Maybe a lava lamp.. hmm. And maybe a little fishbowl with some fish too.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Oslo (Atom feed)] [28 Jun 21:23 Europe/Oslo]

Kind of missing the mark

http://roflsaurus.com/users/public/w42728problems49.jpg

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [23 Jun 22:41 Europe/Oslo]

Dance with me (love can be like bondage)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekQZPozjCX8

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [14 Jun 12:56 Europe/Oslo]

sds [Deleted]

This issue has been deleted, and was probably spam.

[Permalink] [By sdsd@dsf.com] [ (Atom feed)] [13 Jun 08:33 Europe/Oslo]

sds [Deleted]

This issue has been deleted, and was probably spam.

[Permalink] [By sdsd@dsf.com] [ (Atom feed)] [13 Jun 08:32 Europe/Oslo]

A whole lot of it

receiving file list ...
7470982 files to consider

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [13 Jun 00:36 Europe/Oslo]

Work

Interesting how you get job offers when you don't need them. Oh well. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Work (Atom feed)] [08 Jun 18:13 Europe/Oslo]

Runescape Gold, Buy Runescape Money [Deleted]

This issue has been deleted, and was probably spam.

[Permalink] [By viccol@yahoo.com] [ (Atom feed)] [01 Jun 04:16 Europe/Oslo]

Biz, biz, biz

We welcome EUbusiness to our hosting label:

  http://www.eubusiness.com/

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Work (Atom feed)] [01 Jun 01:07 Europe/Oslo]

Ello old friend

No description available

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [19 May 18:48 Europe/Oslo]

It's true, Life does suck at times

By: Thomas

Very funny image.. :)) It's true, life does suck at times..

[Permalink] [By thomas@thomasnet.com] [ (Atom feed)] [17 May 13:28 Europe/Oslo]

On a good day

http://img.4chan.org/b/src/1178909940108.jpg

(copy and paste the link into your browser)

(oops, image is gone now)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Sports (Atom feed)] [11 May 21:42 Europe/Oslo]

The world just got smaller..

http://www.howbigistheworld.com/

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [10 May 12:42 Europe/Oslo]

Give a little love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfhZfSVuup4

(not that I drink a lot of Coke)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [09 May 23:26 Europe/Oslo]

Daddy's new shoes

By: Kay

Daddy's new shoes looks ok, I was at soccer practise today at Ekebergsletta, obviously first outdoor training in 07 required new soccer shoes aswell, got a pair of Nike's!

Now, after 2 hours with running and kicking, I'm pretty sure I'm not going to do anything but paperwork tomorrow. :)

[Permalink] [By petersen.kay@gmail.com] [ (Atom feed)] [09 May 21:25 Europe/Oslo]

Daddy got a new pair of shoes

No description available

Got myself some new shoes yesterday as the old ones were starting to fall apart (I usually wear shoes for as long as it is possible).  Price was very good and they look OK.  Just wonder how they'll be to wear and how long they'll last.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [09 May 14:40 Europe/Oslo]

Worth riding for

http://www.tonygriffinfoundation.com/

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [07 May 23:04 Europe/Oslo]

Up my..

By: Morten W. Petersen

Yeah, it wasn't all that. But good enough entertainment. Saw Shooter the other day as well - that's a pretty good movie. And tonight it's Spider Man 3 ! Got high hopes for that movie. :)

[Permalink] [By morten@nidelven-it.no] [ (Atom feed)] [05 May 18:30 Europe/Oslo]

Sunshine

By: Bernt

Sunshine is a really bad movie ;)

[Permalink] [By superteddy200@yahoo.no] [ (Atom feed)] [05 May 09:11 Europe/Oslo]

Threadmill time

Soon I'll head up to the gym, and try some running. Maybe 45 minutes, or more if I feel up for it.

It's been a while since I've run, but why not. Time to put some variation in the program and get a hard cardio going.

Been invited out the town tonight, but it usually ends up with too much drinking, so I'm skipping that this week. Going to the movies on Sunday instead, to see Sunshine with Smokie. Look forward to that.

[Later..] Wow, that was exhausting. Don't have any good running shoes either, so the feet are pretty sore. Anyway.. good with some variation.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [The gym (Atom feed)] [27 Apr 13:22 Europe/Oslo]

More than one

I googled around a bit and stumbled over this quote page:

http://thinkexist.com/quotation/first_they_ignore_you-then_t...

more relevant that ever I guess.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Quotes (Atom feed)] [26 Apr 12:12 Europe/Oslo]

Go play yourself

A new release of the Issue Dealer is out of the door, mostly a bugfix release which caught some bugs that I missed earlier.

As always, available from here

  http://issuedealer.com/

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Issue Dealer (Atom feed)] [26 Apr 12:09 Europe/Oslo]

Sweet

If it's bitter in the start, it is sweeter in the end.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Quotes (Atom feed)] [22 Apr 09:47 Europe/Oslo]

Facebook

I joined Facebook a little while ago, and after using for a couple of weeks, I must say, that's the best social networking site I've ever used.

I've found old friends that I haven't talked to in a looong time, and I'm sure there will be a lot of things happening as a result.

Orkut, Tribe, Myspace and so on - beaten hands down. I'm hooked on Facebook. :)


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Internet (Atom feed)] [22 Apr 07:59 Europe/Oslo]

Ninja time

We welcome Plone Solutions to our hosting label:

  http://www.plonesolutions.com

  http://www.nidelven-it.no/custom/plone/hjemmeside/clients

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Work (Atom feed)] [20 Apr 18:45 Europe/Oslo]

Long day

Today I've worked for 13 hours, on different projects handling different issues. Man, I look forward to getting to sleep. :)

It seems that the same day I decide to really step it up, work hard and clear some of the issue backlog, server alarms go off and things are happening.

Oh well, it is kinda cool as well. Something out of the ordinary when things happen and you gotta respond quickly.

Tomorrow should be a normal day, with exercise, good healthy food (fish, vegetables, rice amongst others) and a sane work pace. Look forward to that.

I wonder, as someone said a little while ago: Does Bush eat Rice? ;)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Work (Atom feed)] [19 Apr 00:07 Europe/Oslo]

It's not lag

http://house.napalm.net/napalm/its_not_lag.jpg

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [16 Apr 22:58 Europe/Oslo]

Creative come-ons

http://www.uv.no/arkiv/pressemeldinger/liberal-party-advocat...

http://www.uv.no/politics/translated-items/culture-wants-to-...

Unge Venstre is one of our hosting customers. I think the decision of working to make filesharing legal should make quite a splash, just hope the server can cope.. :)

[Later..] The server is coping well, and it is obviously a hot topic, over 200 comments on slashdot:

  http://politics.slashdot.org/politics/07/04/15/1950200.shtml

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [15 Apr 22:42 Europe/Oslo]

It's a damn shame

This morning I was taking the bus home, and had to stop by the "city centre" to take the second leg of the bus trip. I ended up on a "nachspiel" night to Saturday and started the trip home around 8 Saturday morning.

When I stopped in the city centre there was around 20 minutes of waiting time before my bus home arrived, so I decided to get some food.

When I walked towards the 7-11 to get some grub, a 18-19-20-ish year old girl stopped me and asked if I had some "blablabla" (don't remember what it was). I said no and asked what that was.

She explained it was morphine, and I asked her, "what is a cute girl like you wasting your life on stuff like that for?" (she was cute). She didn't give any sensible answer so I said I would go to the store to get some food and come back afterwards (to continue chatting).

I got some food and came back to the place where she was standing, but then she was gone, and I wondered where she went.

I couldn't see her anywhere so I ended up taking the next bus home, and on the way back I found myself wiping some tears every 5 minutes, thinking it was a damn shame a cute girl like her would stand on a street corner early in the morning asking for drugs, because she had some pain to numb.

I have friends who smoke on occasion, and I don't mind smoking myself if the occasion is right, to have an alternative to drinking. I find it makes me very creative in the following weeks. But abusing drugs to numb pain is just.. sad, and it is a shame that drugs are illegal, since people who abuse drugs have issues. I'm sure if alcohol was the only drug available, you would have people who abused it to the .. level of heroin addicts abuse heroin.

I hope we get a drug law similar to what they have in the Netherlands here in Norway, and that focus is put on helping people with issues instead of punishing them (and hoping that will fix things).

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [14 Apr 09:40 Europe/Oslo]

Mona Lisa done in MS Paint

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uk2sPl_Z7ZU

Pretty amazing.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Art (Atom feed)] [06 Apr 22:19 Europe/Oslo]

Slight cold

The last couple of days I've had a bit of a cold, so there's not much to do except relax, type away at the computer and wait for it to pass.

Kinda sucks not being able to go to the gym or taking walks (the weather is pretty bad) - but on the other hand, I do get a lot of excessive energy which makes me more productive.

Nothing is so bad that it isn't good for something, I guess.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [05 Apr 21:49 Europe/Oslo]

More time

Well, another release of the Issue Dealer is out the door. Now you've got more ways of seeing issues past their due date.

Next release will contain a fix for the "zope" search bug, thx Shastry!

:)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Issue Dealer (Atom feed)] [05 Apr 21:38 Europe/Oslo]

Treat your mother right

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_rBidCkJxo

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [05 Apr 10:57 Europe/Oslo]

My humps (alternative version)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=W91sqAs-_-g

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [05 Apr 10:43 Europe/Oslo]

Hearing well again

A couple of weeks ago I misplaced my battery charger and couldn't find it, so I started using non-rechargeable batteries instead. When those ran out, I figured using the old headset was the thing to do. No use in spending money on batteries if you have rechargeable batteries, right?

Well, today the charger popped up again, turns out it was hiding in a box with some external drive components (which was also needed).

So now I'm back to using the Bose headset again, and it feels goood. :)


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [04 Apr 19:47 Europe/Oslo]

300, the movie

300 - a cool movie. It has been hyped but it is cool. Went to see it Friday and was pleased..

It is a gory movie, and maybe the story is a bit thin but I enjoyed just about every minute and it gave some food for thought afterwards. Not the worst way to spend 2 hours.



[Permalink] [By morphex] [Movies (Atom feed)] [25 Mar 16:37 Europe/Oslo]

I can believe that (2)

"The current drug system is ill thought-out and arbitrary," said Nutt, referring to the United Kingdom's practice of assigning drugs to three distinct divisions, ostensibly based on the drugs' potential for harm. "The exclusion of alcohol and tobacco from the Misuse of Drugs Act is, from a scientific perspective, arbitrary," write Nutt and his colleagues in The Lancet.

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1602252,00.html?xid=rss-topstories



[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [24 Mar 19:00 Europe/Oslo]

Fixing an issue with an issue

Got off the phone with my dad a little while ago, and we had a chat about different things. Anything from how's it going to work to global things.

We somehow got into the subject og climate, global climate and global warming which got me thinking of how to deal with it.. consensus is that global warming is happening, and that we should deal with it to avoid big (unpleasant) changes.

We can say that all humans on this planet have an equal right to produce CO2, and that this is capped according to whatever the scientists find is the right amount.

Then, each country could govern these rights, give them out to individuals or companies (entities) - a year at a time for example. These in turn can use them as they wish, either sell the quota or use it.

That way, all people over the entire world get a slice of the pie, and could .. use it as they wish. People could live "ecologically" or not; people get rewarded depending on how they act towards "the rest of the world". If someone in the "3rd world" lives off the nature and don't pollute, they get more money and can spend it as they wish.

Of course, there would need to be some (transparent, good) system in place for this to work, to keep account of who's using/buying/selling what. But we have models for this that we could adapt - and it should function.

It would mean a lot of work for a lot of people, but what else can we do?

I'm sure someone has thought along the similar lines and maybe I'm ignorant for missing it. But I thought I'd share.

Now, back to work. ;)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [20 Mar 23:44 Europe/Oslo]

Surpriiise!

http://thorkildssen.com/surprise.wmv

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [19 Mar 12:27 Europe/Oslo]

The bomb

Got pointed to this .. impact simulator for large bombs:

  http://meyerweb.com/eric/tools/gmap/hydesim.html

freaky stuff.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [18 Mar 13:36 Europe/Oslo]

Yeah they're OK

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44f7BewqNqA

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [17 Mar 22:09 Europe/Oslo]

2-split

Well, I had a trainer setup a program for me today at the gym, and ended up with a 2-split program instead of a 4-split. He knew a lot about things and I just agreed to whatever he said (with an ooh, aah and wow here and there). :)

Went through step one of that program today and I can feel it has taken its tole. My hands are still shaking a bit and it feels good.

So, it will probably be 3-4 training days a week, and then we'll see what the results are after a while. With proper eating and a structured program I feel confident that there'll be some progress.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [The gym (Atom feed)] [15 Mar 19:31 Europe/Oslo]

Give it to me

Funky stuff:

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJJ6P_81nno

Video is kinda youtube-ish, social web 2.0 etc etc.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [14 Mar 15:20 Europe/Oslo]

Ninja time

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Last_Ninja

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [14 Mar 13:35 Europe/Oslo]

Woken up by light

I love sleeping - I sleep a lot.

Lately I've been starting to wake up around 8-8:30 thanks to the light that's coming in through the window, which is nice.

Starting to think that maybe I'm missing a lot since I sleep as much as I do, and maybe some sort of lighting rig is in order.

Waking up from natural light sure beats any alarm clock and sure enough, some googling produces interesting results:

  http://www.outsidein.co.uk/bodyclock.htm

now when it is going towards the summer I guess it isn't necessary, but maybe it is something for the winter..

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [14 Mar 10:13 Europe/Oslo]

I can believe that

http://science.slashdot.org/science/07/03/13/1638245.shtml

Exercise boosts your intelligence, and just about anything else. After talking to people in the gym, I've gotten a new respect for people who actively work out. Some people's knowledge about exercise and their ability and willingness to experiment with different training techniques and intake of nutrients, and the systematic way in which they do it makes them researchers and innovators in my eyes. And it's also a great deal of discipline involved - discipline to the point that you learn to enjoy pain (no pain no gain..)

Now, the prize for doing this exercise thing isn't exactly money (directly anyway) - but you'll find droves of info supporting that exercise and the intake of the "right stuff" will do wonders for your body and it will probably lengthen your lifespan as well. So you get quality *and* quantity.

Back in the day I might've labelled people as "muscle heads", but many are very intelligent - and that they speak in simple terms shows that they're intelligent (vs. intellectual).

So, learning as I go..

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [13 Mar 19:50 Europe/Oslo]

Two quick hits

Recently I ran into a couple of .. issues where customers had either made mistakes or couldn't figure out things.

These were issues that I had run into earlier so being slightly annoyed (itch) I decided it was time to do something about it (scratch).

The first was a customer who managed to run a link-checker on their Plone site, and having the link-checker be logged in, which wrecked havoc as a lot of things in Plone can be done by clicking links. So they had well over a thousand transactions done in the course of 4-5 hours. Restoring from backup would've been simple enough but some important changes had been made prior to this "bot attack" so I didn't see reverting to backup as an option.

This is something that has been a problem earlier as well, so I decided to dig a bit into the undo machinery of Zope to see if it could be fixed. And there, after reading a little bit of code I could see that it would be possible to undo things based on a date. So I wrote up a tool in a couple of hours to test this theory and to my pleasurable surprise it worked.

The product-ified version of this fix can be found here

  http://products.nidelven-it.no/undoer

it should probably be a part of the Zope core distribution (it's an obvious, useful feature) but I'm too lazy to get it submitted. If someone wants to do it, feel free to do so - I'll slip it under the ZPL or something similar.

Another thing that bugged me was a customer that was using up a lot of diskspace (itch) (which we would have to charge for) but they claimed they weren't adding large objects to the database. So, fair enough - this is something I've dealt with before and I got another idea: use the database export feature to get a readout on which objects in the database were using the space (scratch); the result is here:

  http://products.nidelven-it.no/spaceman

a rather cool hack in my opinion, which uses a dummy file to get a count on which objects are taking up space. Turns out something in the customer's system was writing transactions (and often) so a database pack discarding *all* old transactions was all that was needed.

Now, it would be interesting (and fairly easy) to see what's writing all those transactions as well, but that's one for later.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Zope (Atom feed)] [13 Mar 19:31 Europe/Oslo]

Spinning

After starting at the new gym, I thought it would be a good idea to start making use of the things they offer.

So I've talked to one of the guys who worked there and we're going to setup a 4-split program. That is, from what I understand, a training program split over 4 days with various strength exercises.

Since I went out on Saturday I wasn't 'in the mood' for exercise on Sunday, so I doubled up with Monday and today instead. They offer spinning classes at the gym and I tried that before years ago (good workout) - so that was something to try again.

It worked out well, after 45 minutes of "Pulse Spin" I was soaked, and pretty tired. In the hours after working out I felt great, was having a real buzz and now it is getting back to normal again.

I'm wondering whether to try a 5-day workout during the week and then take weekends off. Not sure yet, but it might be worth a try.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [The gym (Atom feed)] [13 Mar 17:49 Europe/Oslo]

XP on a Mac

http://gay.pr0n.be/xponamac.jpg

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [12 Mar 19:36 Europe/Oslo]

Watskeburt

This is art (probably only makes sense if you know Norwegian):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSgZQ_zEjmQ

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [11 Mar 13:56 Europe/Oslo]

Obese

Well, I ordered a body fat measurement tool and got it in the mail today (the Creatine also arrived, yay!). I got a bit of a surprise when the body fat "counter" said I had 26.7% body fat, which is considered obese.

I don't think anyone (normal) would call me fat these days, but doing the math it kinda makes sense. I probably have 1-2 KGs of fat around the stomach and some pounds here and there. So my goal towards the summer is to go down to around 20% body fat. That's roughly another 5 KGs of fat so if things progress like they have been doing until now, that should be possible in the next 2-3 months.

That should be my goal, and I'm also considering a partial or full vegetarian diet - but getting enough of the right proteins could be a bit tricky, since I'm also on a training schedule.

My mouth fills with water when thinking about all the tasty vegetarian food I ate with Vinay while staying in India. I'll have to start making some myself or visit Bangalore again. ;)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [10 Mar 13:56 Europe/Oslo]

The new late show

Not safe for work..

http://www.erotixxx.net/video19.html

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [09 Mar 14:39 Europe/Oslo]

4 years and more

Tomorrow it will be 4 years since I registered the Issue Dealer on freshmeat. Yay.

http://freshmeat.net/projects/issuedealer

I don't remember the exactly the day I started writing the code, but that's life. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Issue Dealer (Atom feed)] [09 Mar 14:02 Europe/Oslo]

Doing the math, part 2

Well, I got a little surprise at the gym today. Just for fun I checked my weight again and now I was down 5.5 KGs since the start of this year.

I guess it varies on the amount of water, goo and stuff you have in your body, the time of day and so on - but wow. That's a 1.5KG difference in two days.

Anyway, the people at the gym are nice and helpful. Discussed whether Creatine could be helpful and they said it was helpful in gaining extra "juice" while working out, as well as buffing the muscle mass since Creatine helps the muscles bind more water.

So I ordered a box of Creatine today and will start using that next week, look forward to seeing the results.

There's a study that suggests Creatine helps boost the brain as well:

  http://www.sciencenews.org/articles/20030816/fob4.asp

for veggies at least. More about Creatine supplements here:

  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creatine_supplements

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [09 Mar 11:22 Europe/Oslo]

Cut your hair and get a job

http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/5/5d/Emo-Day_cop...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [08 Mar 05:25 Europe/Oslo]

Doing the math

Today I started working out at a new gym, as we decided the company should pay for our gym expenses. It was a nice place with lots of equipment and space.

Did the regular thing with 30 minutes of cardio and then 2-3 strength related exercises and got some tips from one of the guys who worked there, on how to focus on certain muscle groups and improve the results.

They also had a weight there, so I checked my weight and lo and behold, I've lost 4 KGs since the start of this year. Doing the math, that's 4000 (grams) * 9 (calories) = 36000 calories, which amounts to about 600 ((4000*9)/60) calories per day or about 0.5 KGs of fat per week.

That's a healthy weight reduction, and I must say that I'm happy with the results, even after having a weekend here and there with partying and extra food.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [07 Mar 12:07 Europe/Oslo]

High energy

http://img106.exs.cx/img106/1191/e4xsuperwaha.swf

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [07 Mar 11:46 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Amy Grant - Baby baby ;)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [04 Mar 07:41 Europe/Oslo]

Mail whoes

Got a nasty surprise today after working on the Issue Dealer and setting it up as a support back-end for email. Had some mail aliases and such going and email addresses that wasn't registered with the mail handler so things started looping.

Ended up with 10's of thousands of mail messages in my inbox, and managed to starve our main mail system of resources so that some customers complained about being able to login and receiving mail.

But oh well, lesson learned here as well. Be very, very careful with aliases and programming email applications. Sending is simple enough; but receiving, handling and sending is another matter entirely.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Internet (Atom feed)] [01 Mar 00:57 Europe/Oslo]

More progress (who would've thought)

After a long weekend with too much to drink, today I've been grappling with a hang-over that just wouldn't let go. So I didn't feel like it, but went to the gym to work out.

Just coming out in fresh air and expecting to work out made me feel better, and what's even better, I even managed to increase the biceps lifting by 5 KGs today - so 3x10x40 KGs (on both hands combined). That's pretty good and it wasn't planned - it was just that a guy was using the 2.5 KG discs so I had to step it up. Felt great after working out (as usual) and the hangover is mostly gone now. Just a tingle and some nerves left.

I'm getting old though, the hangovers just keep getting longer and worse. Some day I'll learn. :)

But we had a good time. Friday was a date which ended up on a nightclub, Saturday was dinner, meeting and partying with Dave from WOW Webdesign and Sunday there was an English breakfast at a sportsbar downtown with a Carlsberg. I got a bit fatter, and my bank account got a bit slimmer.



[Permalink] [By morphex] [The gym (Atom feed)] [27 Feb 00:29 Europe/Oslo]

Ska Cubano live

Went on a date yesterday, where we had food first and then went to see Ska Cubano live. They were good. :)

Here's their homepage

  http://www.skacubano.com/

Had a good time on the date itself as well, we chatted and time went by. Not sure if it is something to build on though, maybe we'll just be friends or whatever.

First we ate, then we went for drinks, then the concert, then to a night club and then another night club were we danced for close to 45 minutes and finally we went home.

Tired today, and soon there's a long lunch/dinner, beer & rugby and probably another night out. Oh well - gotta keep going.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [24 Feb 12:04 Europe/Oslo]

More features

Added some features to the Issue Dealer in the latest release. Incoming mail messages can now be tagged and have due dates, for improved control..

Get your fix here:

  http://issuedealer.com/

Maybe I should get off my butt soon and start pushing this product. Or maybe do juuust a little bit more? ;)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Issue Dealer (Atom feed)] [20 Feb 18:46 Europe/Oslo]

I do need

No description available




[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [20 Feb 15:24 Europe/Oslo]

Copy-that-cat

This guy does an amazing impression of Snoop Dogg, DMX, and more:
 
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rP3qL4UG1TI

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [19 Feb 21:31 Europe/Oslo]

Do drugs and do websites?

http://econc10.bu.edu/

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Economy (Atom feed)] [19 Feb 19:37 Europe/Oslo]

Idling by

Today I decided the day was mostly for resting. There's a lot going on at the moment with business and all that so it is nice to catch a break every once in a while. Just look at the to-do list and blissfully ignore it and reschedule issues.

Towards the end of the week I'll be going for a date with a girl named Monica (she's a cutie) and we'll have some chow before we go to a concert with Ska Cubano. Didn't like their music straight off the bat, but I'll get their album and listen to it a bit more since she suggested we go to this concert. She's half Vietnamese and I gotta say, that worked out well. :)

Then there are meetings to come as well, where we will lay plans for the future of some of our local offerings to the SMB market here in Norway. So far it's been "play by ear" (which has worked) but now we'll try planning and executing that plan. I feel good about it, we'll have to make commitments and work to make sure deadlines are met. Will be some good food and entertainment during the days we have meetings too, and I've heard rumors about an English breakfast which should cure any ailments we contract..

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [18 Feb 23:35 Europe/Oslo]

Just for laughs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4Y4keqTV6w

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [18 Feb 21:56 Europe/Oslo]

Your consumer dollar at work

http://fukung.net/v/1873/funding_next_war.jpg

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [18 Feb 01:34 Europe/Oslo]

With a little help, from some dudes

Yesterday there was great progress in the gym. Started chatting with some folks who were also doing weights and we helped each other out in the bench. Managed to do 10 x 60, 8 x 70, 7 x 70 in the bench press, which is a big improvement.

It helps to have someone back you up, so you can attempt lifting heavier weights. The prospect of getting jammed under heavy weights is daunting.

I run a program with a 30 minute warm-up on a step master or other cardio-vascular exercise, then 2-3 different exercises for strength. This is done every other day. Tried doing 2 days with exercise and one day off, but that was a bit too much in the long run - exercising every other day works and there's progress so I'll just stick with that.

There's a possibility of exercising too much as well, and combined with an at times stressful job it is important to not overdo it. I've gone into that trap before and exercised too much, but at the time I wasn't aware you could get too much exercise so I thought it was something wrong with my diet. Lesson learned.

A structured, stable program with exercise every other day and eating well is doing the trick.. I feel generally up-beat and productive when working as well - that hasn't always been the case.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [The gym (Atom feed)] [17 Feb 15:36 Europe/Oslo]

Something fishy

Today I'll be going to the grocery store, to find some good fish and veggies. I'm thinking some salmon could be good, but we'll see what they have available.

Yesterday evening was another chicken-dinner, with bamboo, wok-mix (again), slices of apple and banana. Quite tasty.. some fruit livens up the taste a bit, and the chili-sauce mix on the chicken made it close to perfect.

So, it will probably be salmon, pasta screws and some veggies - look forward to that.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Food (Atom feed)] [17 Feb 14:58 Europe/Oslo]

Happy thoughts from the KKK

http://ccpl.lib.co.us/History_Old/Images/KKKFerrisWheel.JPG

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [17 Feb 01:30 Europe/Oslo]

Ice breaker

http://www.break.com/games/poundice.html

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Games (Atom feed)] [16 Feb 16:57 Europe/Oslo]

Yummy, yummy, yummy in my tummy

Just finished a great meal: chicken, wok-mix, bamboo and potatoes. I'm going to try to eat more green stuff, lately it has just been a lot of chicken, tuna, pasta and stuff like that.

Had a big plate of food, but got .. pleasantly full and I think the whole meal was less than 500 calories to boot. Sure the green stuff is relatively expensive here in Norway, and it takes time to prepare. That's a good investment, my guess is that I'll start experiencing more energy and general happiness by "eating green."

So, the food plan is: start the day with a (mixed by blender) choco-egg-shake: 3 eggs, just over half a pint of milk, 1 banana, and two spoons of chocolate milk mix). Then eat something for lunch that has enough proteins and the same for the rest of the day.

Hmm, I should really find some good protein sources to get good results from the exercise. Tuna and chicken is getting a bit boring, so are beans. Maybe buy one bulk package of protein-mix and eat "regular" meals.

The thing is that you have to eat well, and get enough proteins to get maximum results from exercise - my guess is that I need around 100 grams of proteins each day. And with 4 meals a day each meal has to have at least 25 grams of protein.

Onwards to find some tasty sources of protein..

[Later..] Hm, fish seems to be a good one. Will have to investigate.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Food (Atom feed)] [15 Feb 22:24 Europe/Oslo]

Caught in the act

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/274495936.html

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [14 Feb 13:16 Europe/Oslo]

That's life (in a box shell)

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=3725...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [14 Feb 06:12 Europe/Oslo]

800-what?

This is probably only understandable for Norwegians:

  http://vn.cl.no/800.png

but that's a news article about a guy that has masturbated 800 times in public. Ironically, the ad on the page says 800 flowers (.no).

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [13 Feb 17:05 Europe/Oslo]

Tech support

http://ilx.wh3rd.net/ilxdown/3.jpg

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [13 Feb 16:30 Europe/Oslo]

New external harddrive and mouse

Got another external harddrive today, a casing and a harddrive. Easy to setup and works like a charm in Ubuntu, just plug it in. It runs a bit hot though, and I guess it is a bit noisy. But it works.

I'd namedrop it, but the packing doesn't say anything. Oh, it does say in the order confirmation: Zynet hard drive cabinet. So there you go. A nice Samsung Spinpoint hard drive as well.

Also got a new Logitech mouse, an LX3. The scroll wheel is a bit flaky, but it works too, was also just plugging in.

Gotta love Linux these days.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Hardware (Atom feed)] [13 Feb 16:21 Europe/Oslo]

Clogged up again

Well, it is time for another visit to the doctor. Think my right ear is getting clogged up again with earwax, even if I use q-tips and some do-it-yourself ear cleaning kits.

Hopefully I'll get a same day appointment, it is a quick operation anyway.. 5 minutes and done.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [13 Feb 06:53 Europe/Oslo]

An inconvenient truth

Well, I just rented an inconvenient truth. With all this talk about global warming it made me curious so I had to rent it as I was getting some mothers day gifts.

Look forward to seeing it, should be good according to the critics.

[Later..] Well, interesting flick - a lot of good points. Makes me think that we can still make it even if all goes to hell, but that we should do something about it so that life can go on as it does today.

And it certainly makes me wonder what things could be like today if Al Gore won the election instead of Bush.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Politics (and judicial matters) (Atom feed)] [11 Feb 22:31 Europe/Oslo]

Don't drink (and get very drunk) and do websites

I'm sitting here sipping some Baileys and thinking to myself - "this is good stuff." So I thought I'd visit the Baileys website (http://www.baileys.com) and have a look.

First I get asked where I am and what my birth date. Fair enough, I guess they have to do this stuff for legal reasons. I enter Norway, 10th of May 1980 click on "remember" and enter. Then I get a page which says "You're not authorized to bla bla." That's what the fuck #1.

So I enter www.baileys.com and voilà, the website shows up. I see some flash icons (I have flash blocker installed, thank god) and select to view the flash things since obviously the site depends on it. I click on a "link" and once more, the flash symbols appear. That's what the fuck #2.

What is it with these brand/media sites and having flash? Can they not create a website that makes *subtle* use of flash? I mean, what the fuck? ;)

[Later..] Aha. Just got an idea. Maybe the flash blocker should have an "enable flash for this website" thing? It does have a whitelist, but it is kinda hard to get at. Hmm.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Web (Atom feed)] [08 Feb 01:41 Europe/Oslo]

Quote of the day

"You gotta let go to get going."

-Me

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Quotes (Atom feed)] [08 Feb 01:34 Europe/Oslo]

Finally some progress

I've been struggling for some time to increase the amount of weights I bench press but today there was progress. Going from 60 kilos 3x8 I'm now able to do 3x10 and think it should be possible to go 3x12 and 3x15 in not too long.

I think lack of progress earlier might be related to technique, got some tips from a big guy a week ago that helped me use the rights muscles for lifting.

I don't know what my max lift capability is, in any case, there's a long way to go (see world records)

  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bench_press

But then again, the goal isn't to become the world's strongest ;)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [The gym (Atom feed)] [02 Feb 18:20 Europe/Oslo]

Law'n'order

http://dm.cl.no/lawnorder.jpg

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [01 Feb 19:44 Europe/Oslo]

Gaining strength

Lately I've been pushing to lift heavier weights and putting more resistance on the apparatuses in the gym. For a long time the focus was to just keep on exercising regularly and loosing weight, but now I don't have that many kilos left before it is time to stop loosing weight.

So I've been making sure to get enough proteins and start gaining strength and muscles. This morning I had a fiber-rich cereal breakfast and 4 hours later a 4-egg-milk-banana-vanilla-chocolate shake before going to the gym. 4 hours after the shake I had half a pizza and then 4 hours later the rest of the pizza.

The cool thing about the pizza I'm eating is that it has a lot of proteins. Half a pizza gives about 30 grams of protein, and that is (from what I've heard and read) about as much as the body can take up in one go.

The egg-shake is also something I'll keep doing, as it is not only has a lot of 'high quality' proteins, but it also has nutrients and vitamins aplenty.

I usually go to buy groceries after the gym, and got a comment today: "You're always smiling". Well that makes sense, as I usually only go to the store after working out. Some exercise releases the "happy thoughts" and I think I'm on the right track if I'm gaining muscle, loosing fat and at the same time feel good. And the cute girl that works at the store smiled back. :)

So, making progress. Happily.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [The gym (Atom feed)] [25 Jan 20:13 Europe/Oslo]

Kinda like a Google for music

http://www.pandora.com/

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Music (Atom feed)] [25 Jan 11:36 Europe/Oslo]

Zelda is pretty good

Been playing around with Zelda some more, with Remi - my sisters boyfriend. After the initial few hours of gameplay (which didn't impress me much) I'm growing fonder of the game. Maybe it just took some getting used to.

The graphics were not all that to begin with, but after a while they become good enough and it is really the playability that counts. The Wii controllers are something else, and it is easy to spend hours in front of Zelda without noticing how time flies by.

Unfortunately I don't have a wireless router, so I'm not able to connect to the net yet, but once I do, I'll be downloading some of the classic games, like Super Mario Bros 3. I'm maybe getting a bit old for games like this, but what the heck, remembering how fun and all-absorbing it was to play these games in the past, I'd love to have that feeling again.

I have great respect for what Nintendo has done, from their NES to the Wii today, and at some point in my career, I'd like to work with them to see how they manage to create these marvelous things, and maybe make some significant contributions.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Nintendo Wii (Atom feed)] [23 Jan 16:13 Europe/Oslo]

The ad is you

http://www.theadgenerator.org/

Scary how .. "good" some of those ads are. Is the future of marketing-development a place where we have a bunch of people in a group watching these ads and then deciding which ads to go for by measuring their brain-activity and other responses?

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Marketing (Atom feed)] [22 Jan 06:14 Europe/Oslo]

In development

http://fuckweb2.com/

and

http://lessthan3.com/

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Humor (Atom feed)] [21 Jan 15:20 Europe/Oslo]

Full steam ahead

Going to the gym shortly, even though I don't feel like going right now. Will probably feel better about it once I've been working out for 5-10 minutes, just gotta get started.

Ah, I know what to do. Go swimming instead.. it'll be nice to get a change from the almost mundane gym. Switch between swimming and dropping into the Jacuzzi.. yeah, sounds like a plan.

Now I've just gotta find those goggles..

[Later..] Ahh, that was refreshing. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [The gym (Atom feed)] [21 Jan 10:29 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Johnny Cash - Bridge over troubled water

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [21 Jan 06:59 Europe/Oslo]

Wii-whee

Purchased a Wii console today, along with Zelda. First impression: this could be interesting.

The console also came with Wii Sports, a collection of things you can play, like baseball, boxing, tennis and so on.

Will post more about it later, now I've gotta try this thing out. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Nintendo Wii (Atom feed)] [19 Jan 13:06 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Aphex Twin - Ageispolis

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [18 Jan 06:05 Europe/Oslo]

Idling by

There's something screwy with my internet connection, so surfing the web and reading email is a bit .. annoying because of the slowness and connection timeouts.

Luckily the gym opens in less than 2 hours, so I'll be able to go work out a bit. Going for the step-master (or whatever you call it) and doing some weights afterwards.

For breakfast this morning I took some left-over cheese cake but couldn't finish it (was super-hungry so I just had to grab something). Felt stuffed after eating a little over half of the slice so the rest is still left. I'm not sure what exactly is in it, but I think there's a lot of sugar, eggs and butter, quite the energy bomb.

These days there isn't enough time to do everything, there's customers on the one hand that want stuff, and cool behind-the-scenes stuff to do on the other. I'm looking forward to having a bigger company with more employees so that people can take care of and learn about stuff that I already know, so that I can work on more creative and challenging things.

But that time will come, for sure. Last year we had quite a growth and it looks like we'll be growing a lot more this year. In less than 3 weeks of the new year I've already gotten tentative approvals for new deals that amount to 15% of the total revenue we had last year. And that's not counting all the small fish.. :)

I'm enjoying this period. There's a little bit too much to do, but some customers are very understanding and flexible, so we're able to take care of everyone, if not at a breakneck pace.

Good times.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Internet (Atom feed)] [18 Jan 04:47 Europe/Oslo]

x-visitor

I'm sitting here tailing my logfile, just idling waiting for something to happen.

It would be cool to see who's visiting the site, just have some sort of feed updating with visitor URLs or somesuch - with a link to the visitors webpage. You can have people reading your blog and linking to it, but not everyone is a blogger.

An X-visitor header could be something...

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Web (Atom feed)] [17 Jan 08:30 Europe/Oslo]

Heh

"You can kiss my ass now, or you can kiss my ass later."

-Me

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Quotes (Atom feed)] [17 Jan 06:12 Europe/Oslo]

How about that, Flash 9 for Linux

Nice to see that version 9 of Flash is available for Linux. It sounds like it even supports esd so sound is working nicely too, even if I've got other things playing.

http://www.adobe.com/shockwave/download/download.cgi?P1_Prod...

How cool.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Web (Atom feed)] [17 Jan 06:09 Europe/Oslo]

Screen shot

A screenshot of an uncluttered desktop:

No description available

This is another excellent mandolux background.  Right click
the image an click on "view image" or something similar
to get the full-size picture.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Sweetness (Atom feed)] [17 Jan 01:46 Europe/Oslo]

Some desktop backgrounds

Here you'll find some desktop backgrounds for your screen setup. Most backgrounds fit for 2 screens, some even for 3:

  http://www.mandolux.com/


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Sweetness (Atom feed)] [15 Jan 17:51 Europe/Oslo]

!!! and one

A new release of the Issue Dealer has been dropped (0.9.112). This feature sports improved mail handling, including much stricter sanitation of incoming HTML messages, as well as verification for senders, meaning successful incoming spam messages should go down close to Zero. Enjoy! :) :)

http://issuedealer.com

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Issue Dealer (Atom feed)] [14 Jan 09:11 Europe/Oslo]

Speaking of interesting phones

http://www.openmoko.com/press/index.html

Sure looks like a sweet phone, with embedded Linux and everything. I was thinking of getting an iPhone as it had a lot of the features I've been looking for, but if there is a phone delivered with Linux and can be extended with Linux-based apps - it would probably beat anything else, hands down.

I just wonder how good the keyboard will be, or if a good keyboard is available as an accessory.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [12 Jan 02:23 Europe/Oslo]

Everybody can be an idiot

http://www.violentacres.com/archives/86/idiocy-is-gender-neu...

  "Now….turn off that fucking TV."

I don't watch a lot of TV anymore. The TV shows, their themes and plots are so obvious, and watching some random shit that some producers and writers have managed to squeeze out just isn't interesting.

I do watch a handful of shows, but they are in my opinion in the high end, or cover stuff that I can find interesting. But even these shows are getting old, and get stale in the way they are presented and laid up.

There are probably 3 shows that I follow, along with news, but for some reason it is getting less and less interesting.

The stars of my life are my family, friends & colleagues. I find myself laughing often and hard at their remarks, behaviour and jokes. Luckily it will be possible to see interesting, creative and unique people now that we have this thing called the internet, with videos, music and interesting writings everywhere.

Some people say that you can get addicted to the internet and all that, but I still have a social life outside the computer *and* have a rather large contact list in my messenger. I think people get smarter by using the web, as it is a two-way street, and doesn't make you into some dumbed down couch potato.

We are not, after all, domestic animals that are bred, fed, entertained & milked. We're much more.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Media (Atom feed)] [12 Jan 01:28 Europe/Oslo]

Sweetness

After playing around a bit with the X configuration on Ubuntu, I've finally got a dual screen setup working.

It is running Gnome, and the best part is that I not only have a dual screen setup, those dual screens work on each virtual desktop as well! On virtual desktop 1 I have Rhytmbox running in the left screen and various internet messaging tools in the right screen. On the second virtual desktop I have Thunderbird at the left and Firefox at the right.

This, people, is going to rock!

Here's a (poor) shot:

No description available


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Ubuntu (Atom feed)] [11 Jan 04:13 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Therapy? - Jude the obscene

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [09 Jan 01:47 Europe/Oslo]

Some aerobic exercise

Just finished a meal after going to the gym, for my dose of aerobic exercise. Spent 60 minutes on a running/skiing device and burned close to 700 calories.

I stepped up the level to 10 (been using 9 earlier) and it really made a big difference. About halfway through I felt tired already, and towards the end a woman got on a similar machine just beside me and we started chatting about exercise.

It was a good conversation, but also a bit weird as she at times had a slightly .. surprised/scared face while talking. Maybe she didn't expect having a chat while working out.. after working out and hitting the showers I figured out what it could have been. My face was flushed dark red, so although I talked calmly and had some good points it might have looked like I was mad as I was talking. Funny. :)


[Permalink] [By morphex] [The gym (Atom feed)] [08 Jan 19:44 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Foo Fighters - My hero

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [04 Jan 00:18 Europe/Oslo]

Two on, one off

I've started with the new exercise regime now, where 2 days are on, and one day is off. Along with the increased amount of exercise, I'm also doing increases in the amount of weights that are being lifted, so today I increased the arm-related lifting by 5 kilograms.

It feels good to increase the amount of exercise, but I can feel that it is taking a bit of a toll on my work-energy as well. Or maybe that's just because I am eating less calories than I'm using.. not sure.

Think I'm burning around 3000-3500 calories a day now, and consuming around 2000, so each day I'm loosing 100-200 grams of fat. That's a motivation, and it will be nice to see the results after a while.

I don't use a scale, but I can see that the body is getting more toned and muscular, and all-in-all I might not have lost all that much weight, as the muscle mass is increasing.

I started this new exercise/diet thing about 1 year ago and by the summer it should really show. This project is for me to see and feel how it is to be really fit and slim; I've pretty much always been a chubby guy (and happy with that), but you gotta find new things to try..

Maybe I should start eating more green stuff, these days it is very easy to either do noodles+tuna or frozen pizza, but the pre-packed salads are in my opinion a wee bit too expensive, and I'm too lazy/incapable of creating my own salads. They just don't taste as good as the ones you can buy.

I'm also cheating a bit and using something which can be loosely translated as "packaged mouth tobacco" (snus):

  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snus

which helps keep the mood up when I'm not eating as much as the body would like. I stopped using Snus before going to India and kept off it until about a month after I came back, but then I realized that life is better with Snus. It's kinda like coffee for me. Some known side-effects of Snus is higher blood pressure, but that's not a problem for me, yet. Maybe I'll stop some day if the doctor tells me to.

So, calorie restriction, exercise, lots of proteins, a daily dose of vitamins and Omega 3 is what I'm doing now. And I'll start eating more green stuff, and fiber. It *is* good for the body, so why not.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [The gym (Atom feed)] [03 Jan 20:16 Europe/Oslo]

Song of the day

Queen - Radio Ga Ga

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Favorite songs (Atom feed)] [29 Dec 16:14 Europe/Oslo]

Lucky

After a long day it is time to go to bed. I got nice presents, good food (beef, cream marinated potatoes ++) and good drinks (wine, cognac). Feel very fortunate to be able to share this time with the family and get stuffed; not all people are so fortunate.

The next couple of days it will be visiting family and friends and probably some more work on the Issue Dealer. The mail handling gateway is working nicely now and soon enough it should be an important, integral part of what the system can offer.

Oh so tired, and so happy. Good night. :)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Misc (Atom feed)] [24 Dec 23:40 Europe/Oslo]

A little Christmas present

Pushed a new version of the Issue Dealer today, with improved mail handling. Good enough mail handling to put into production use, so now you have support for handling issues that come through the mail as well.

;)

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Issue Dealer (Atom feed)] [24 Dec 12:32 Europe/Oslo]