Morphex's blogologue (Life, technology, music, politics, business, mental health and more)

This is the blog of Morten W. Petersen, aka. morphex in various places. I blog about my life, and what I find interesting and/or important. This is a personal blog without any editor or a lot of oversight so treat it as such. :)

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A good day

So, today I had a good day. It started out good, then at around 1700 it was a bit difficult (tired, annoyable) and a bit struggling on the social part.

But I was able to pull myself together and keep going. So, I'm feeling so much more .. good and relaxed, and a bit more human.

I may be a bit cold and calculating at times, but I guess I've been burned enough times and struggled so much that I've had to think hard to be able to function and exist. And running your own business makes you understand that you have to decide and move on or sink. During my psychosis from before Christmas to over new years I wondered if I was a sociopath or something like that.

But I've looked at the traits of sociopaths and I don't score high so I think I'm OK. I have difficulties watching things like "Norwegian talents" (similar to Idol or X factor except it accepts all kinds of weird acts). Anyway, I have difficulties watching that and soap operas and whatever, because I become so embarrased over difficult social situations. And I can get teary eyed watching some programs.

But, I wonder if I've been exposed to people with sociopathic traits, or people who can put you down and make you very self aware. And it might be that I react without knowing sometimes when I'm in the presence of sociopaths.

When I think of it, I think I've met some and may have even been burned by some. But that's part of growing up too, you learn and move on. I saw an old program on NRK via streaming where there was a psychiatrist who said something like "I'd rather have a sociopath than a softhearted person if it was about sending away a bomb while at war" or something like that.

So sociopaths are everywhere I've read, and I guess it must be a different life experience.

There was a blog post I read during my desperate-quest-to-figure-out-myself during the psychosis too, which said that everyone is a sociopath, you have the winners, the ignorants and the losers. That's funny, and it might even be true. I guess all people have someone to "look down on" if you think about it. And with the selfish-gene theory, yeah.. Oh well. I experience warmth and care now from Hilde's family and get something good thrown at me or after me every day, so I think there's hope. :)


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [17 Mar 19:24 Europe/Oslo]