A little pharmaceutical hacking
When you read that headline, you may think this or that. But I figured out that nicotine patches are more expensive than necessary.You can start out at 21 mg nicotine per 24 hours, and then go down to 14 and 7 - that's what the producer allows.
The interesting thing is that the patches cost the same, regardless of how much nicotine they provide. So, I was thinking the other day and figured out that stepping down around 5 mg of nicotine every 2, 4 or 8 weeks is the right way to go.
And that's easy to do. I'm down on 10 mg per 24 hours now, using a 21 mg patch cut in two. This effectively makes the patches cheaper to use the less nicotine I need.
What a pair of scissors can do.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [18 Aug 19:45 GMT+1]
Day to day survival
So, I've learned some tricks lately that can help with day-to-day living if you have serious mental challenges, either just in your head or also brought upon you by others.It is easy to get stressed (and have a high pulse). One might automatically start doing something if stressed, such as working, exercising, drinking water, drink alcohol or simply just sit there fretting.
And then the alternatives for calming down are usually medicine. But I've found a better way which requires some work and focus, but it has worked for me recently. It is as simple as taking deep breaths (suck air down to the stomach area) through the nose, and then exhaling through the mouth.
I tried it yesterday, and it worked well. Another thing with these mental matters is that a lot of things feel real and scary, but there isn't much one can do to control them. So one has to "let go"; ultimately one only has control over one's own actions and thoughts (and not even that at times when unstable), and scary things can happen anywhere.. Best trick to deal with it is to take things at a normal or slow pace.
Another thing I've discovered (reminded by a psychologist who was on the morning TV today) is that it is good to take 10-15 or even 30 minute breaks doing nothing, between mentally challenging tasks.
Work for me is mentally challenging, and it feels better to do something with flair and pace and take a good break afterwards, rather than to .. sift through it. And what to do during those breaks? Nothing, just relax and let whatever that wants to pop into your focus do so. But the point of the break is to relax.
If you can't relax after doing some task.. then you have to analyze the situation and figure out why you can't relax. But I think that just relaxing properly for some days or weeks can help the situation.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [18 Aug 09:12 GMT+1]
Salt at 120 NOK (20 USD) per gram
Without these, I would probabably be in quite a different mental state right now.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [14 Aug 20:24 GMT+1]
Upping the ante
So I talked to the doctor the other day, that the symptoms I've been having come and go, and I guess stress worsens them.So we agreed to up the dosage, so I'm on 600 mg of Seroquel per day now.. I feel that it helps a good bit, and it gives some comfort that the dose can be increased still so that meds could help me with most of my issues.
I've found that smoking and drinking alcohol are really, really bad for me now, so I think I'll avoid those two things for a good while. I think I might have had my last cigarette, ever.
I've been using nicotine patches for a good while now, and they worked, but I've switched to Snus portion, since it is easy to dose and decrease, and at this point it is cheaper and easier to do the gradual nicotine ditch using Snus.
I think that says something, that a tobacoo with carcinogenics is cheaper to use than pure-nicotine substitutes.. and, nicotine is a poison, but I can't do the quitting cold-turkey, then I'd probably suffer a good bit.
It's established with the doctors etc. that I have a psychotic disorder NOS (not otherwise specified). So I'm told that schizophrenia, bipolar and so on are basically groups you fall into, once a given set of symptoms are reached. It is work from now on to see if I fit in a given group.
I have gotten some time to reflect the last months, and the whole experience since last autumn/winter has been.. quite an experience you might say. I see life a lot differently now.
At the same time, I feel a lot more like myself as well, at least I can relax and enjoy things now, if it is just watching at the trees and nature outside the window. Long story short, I was a propellerhead when I was younger, but when I entered into my teens I started having problems.
Work is going OK too, I'm able to work better now.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [31 Jul 20:35 GMT+1]
A daily treat with Quetiapine </sarcasm>
I'm taking Quetiapine 200 mg around lunchtime and 300 mg before bedtime.It works fairly well - lately I've been able to think more clearly and coherently, but I seem to get some weird mental state after taking it
around lunch sometimes which is very unpleasant.
I'd describe it as a panic or stressful thing and I get dizzy - almost as if I feel drunk. It also sucks energy, I had to lie down and sleep for a couple of hours because I felt exhausted after the fact.
It sucks because for two reasons. 1) It sucks. 2) It can come without warning, some days it happens, some days it doesn't happen.
I think I'll need to keep a diary of events and nutrition to see if it is predictable.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [10 Jun 21:39 GMT+1]
Annoying throat infection
So, I probably need to get some antibiotics for my throat, the sickness has been lasting for 1 1/2 weeks now and it won't let go.Sickness has been going around in the family, and some have used antibiotics (Isak has started Clarithromycin today, and is already better, ate most of his porridge for the first time in weeks). (Later.. well, he still coughs, but eating more. Which is good).
But I see Quetiapine's effectiveness (rate of metabolization) changes when using Clarithromycin so that's something I'll need to talk about with my doctor (...).
I guess they'll need to do bloodtests and such, and the TOP project which maps psychosis-related things also does bloodtests - which is next week.
Well, I'll visit the doctor tomorrow and see what he says.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [21 Apr 20:43 GMT+1]
Quetiapine (Seroquel) and herbs (mixing the new with the old)
I've been "coming down" as one might say in the last month or so, and in that process the last week-and-a-half I've been having a dry mouth and an ear infection, a runny and stuffy nose and a sore and try throat. And dry mouth.Well, I've been taking 45 mg Truxal along with the 400 mg Quetiapine a day, and I've had serious problems with a dry mouth and throat. So I ditched the Truxal, and started drinking some hot water with either honey+lemon juice or Sage and Thyme + honey.
It feels like the Sage and Thyme with honey helps quite a bit, and it might even help me relax and soothe the throat.
I see that Sage is considered a drug once you put it into hot water and make a tea.. which is interesting. Medical use of herbs, who would've thought.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [20 Apr 10:14 GMT+1]
Unplugged
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-are-safe-ways-to-remove-ear-wax...Is about removing earwax. Short story, a bit warm olive oil + one of those "ear cleaning bulbs" = win.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [14 Apr 16:38 GMT+1]
The walk
I think I'll go for a walk tomorrow, try to get somewhat into shape. 1-2 walks a week is a high enough goal for now.Things feel OK, although I guess it is hard, I don't know if it is because I'm depressed or something else. Been pretty drained for energy the last 7-8 days.
I feel more normal, no that's wrong, *different* than I've felt in the last 6-7 months, and maybe for some years. This feeling of being burned out or something is there. I've been in the TOP project for a while now, where they map psychosis and such, where I answer questions in a structured interview.
Work is what keeps me going in many ways, it is good to have something to do. And the joy Isak can bring, even through an MMS message from the mountain. He's a cute kid, and brings me great joy. Even though I went through hell the last half year or so, I think maybe something has improved. I remember it was pretty bad and weird, but it is also a bit distant, maybe that's a coping mechanism.. forgetting the pain and stress. If not anything else, I'm in a system now where I could get some help.
I'm by myself now, taking a few days to wind down while Hilde and family are up on the mountain.
I need to find something fun and not stressful I think. A hobby. Whatever that should be I don't know. Maybe start reading books.
Playing Call of Duty is not as much fun now as it was some weeks or months ago. Maybe that's the meds.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [02 Apr 00:30 GMT+1]
Aftershocks
So, I've been reading up on various mental things on the net, and figuring I have something like PTSD now:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posttraumatic_stress_disorder
Which is interesting, since I know the feeling I have today from earlier in my life. I don't know where I got into this track I've been in, but anyway. Feeling like you're going to die for a good while kinda sucks.
Stress and such, well there are different kinds of threats. With this condition I have, whatever it is, I guess I've always been quite sensitive to what other people want and need.
So I think I've treated the people in my company pretty well, not laying too much on them, and at times handing out a lesson. I know this past half year has been tough on "my crew" but I've been having it tough too, so now we might get to wind down the next month. I see people performing well now, and it is good to see that the time and effort I've invested is rewarded. I know some people might prefer to break people down with techniques such as Gaslighting:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting
and
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_torture
But that's not my style. Think of it.. with the web things can be setup and changed without a trace. And you have no physical wounds or traces to show..
Interestingly, my psychologist has spoken to a friend I know about my history, and things were taken up there, things I didn't remember. So he said it might just be a misunderstanding too.
Anyway, this paranoia/schizophrenia/bipolar thing. The meds help, but right now I'm at a place emotionally where I've been before. So I dunno, things are taking their time. I'll relax now and try to do as little as possible and just get better.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [29 Mar 22:32 GMT+1]
So so, getting better, getting worse
Lately I've been getting better, but there has also been some major holes in the road. :)But, I can feel again now. Feel more than I have done in a long long time. Cuddling for example feels great now, compared to one year ago. And I feel more around anything, really. It isn't just going through the motions any more.
As the psychologist said, I've been going around in my own bubble for quite some time (think 10-15 years maybe) and that's true. I've been out of touch with my emotions.
I can feel the anxiety sneaking up on me when it gets closer to bedtime, but it isn't so bad now, probably because I've been taking Truxal again.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [28 Mar 23:42 GMT+1]
An attacking panic
So, yesterday I had a panic attack. A pretty bad one. :)It started around 22:30 I think, because my mouth gets so dry from the meds. So I started compulsively swallowing, and getting stressed out.
I've recently upped my meds, from 300 mg a day to 500 mg a day. And I find it strange that the doctor would let me make a 200 mg jump just like that and not 100 mg.
Anyway, so this panic attack started, and around 22:50 or so I think it got really bad. To the point that I was wheezing like I had been running and getting a panic. The feeling that I might choke up and die was there and very real, and I considered calling 113 (911). But then Hilde organized things and I was able to take a taxi with Vebjørn down to the health emergency center.
So, for 20-30 minutes (at home and on the way to the hospital) I had a feeling that death by choking could be imminent, and there was panic, numbness in my hands and dizzyness.
I felt better when I arrived at the emergency health center. I knew there were doctors and such there who could help me.
So I talked a bit to one of the nurses after a while and got to stay over there during the night. Got something to help me sleep and in the morning I talked to a doctor about what happened and was let on my way.
Today I've been feeling a bit tired, but relatively OK. Hilde says I look serious.
The scary thing to this compared to the radiating angst thing is that lately I've begun feeling what you could call normal, with a somewhat normal range of emotions. But that angst/choke incident was scary as FUCK.
[Later..] And funnily enough, the dials you have to punch to get a direct taxi order is 119.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [26 Mar 19:32 GMT+1]
Aspergers
So, I've read a bit about Aspergers today, and that seems to fit my way of being pretty well. I also see that Seroquel which I'm taking has had a good effect on Aspergers too.But I see also on the net that you could be diagnosed with both Aspergers and Schizophrenia.
I mean, I hallucinated in November I think it was and saw a globe that spun above me (while I was lying in bed) which I could touch and it glowed of red almost in a magical, hedonic or evil way. I also for a second saw an item in our home as something else. Sometime after new year I thought some low-clicking noise (in a sense modem-transfer-noise) from the phone triggered something in me that gave me negative thoughts and .. "visions". I call them visions because they aren't hallucinations i.e. something that is like any object you see which seems real. They were more like.. what you can get if you play a game all day, you still see the game playing when you close your eyes, but it is also a bit more .. creative/uncontrolled/mixed together.
And that feeling of radiating angst or whatever out of my body was.. on a scale from 1-10 of fucked-upness.. A 9.5 I think.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [18 Mar 13:50 GMT+1]
A good day
So, today I had a good day. It started out good, then at around 1700 it was a bit difficult (tired, annoyable) and a bit struggling on the social part.But I was able to pull myself together and keep going. So, I'm feeling so much more .. good and relaxed, and a bit more human.
I may be a bit cold and calculating at times, but I guess I've been burned enough times and struggled so much that I've had to think hard to be able to function and exist. And running your own business makes you understand that you have to decide and move on or sink. During my psychosis from before Christmas to over new years I wondered if I was a sociopath or something like that.
But I've looked at the traits of sociopaths and I don't score high so I think I'm OK. I have difficulties watching things like "Norwegian talents" (similar to Idol or X factor except it accepts all kinds of weird acts). Anyway, I have difficulties watching that and soap operas and whatever, because I become so embarrased over difficult social situations. And I can get teary eyed watching some programs.
But, I wonder if I've been exposed to people with sociopathic traits, or people who can put you down and make you very self aware. And it might be that I react without knowing sometimes when I'm in the presence of sociopaths.
When I think of it, I think I've met some and may have even been burned by some. But that's part of growing up too, you learn and move on. I saw an old program on NRK via streaming where there was a psychiatrist who said something like "I'd rather have a sociopath than a softhearted person if it was about sending away a bomb while at war" or something like that.
So sociopaths are everywhere I've read, and I guess it must be a different life experience.
There was a blog post I read during my desperate-quest-to-figure-out-myself during the psychosis too, which said that everyone is a sociopath, you have the winners, the ignorants and the losers. That's funny, and it might even be true. I guess all people have someone to "look down on" if you think about it. And with the selfish-gene theory, yeah.. Oh well. I experience warmth and care now from Hilde's family and get something good thrown at me or after me every day, so I think there's hope. :)
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [17 Mar 19:24 GMT+1]
Filling in the pieces
So, I'm playing along with the Schizophrenia theme, and have been reading up a bit about it.On this page:
http://schizophrenia.com/hypo.php
There was a nice "flow chart" of how Schizophrenia develops. I looked at that page a week or so ago, and it stuck to my mind.
Today there was the baptizing of Isak (which went well). Afterwards there was dinner, and I had to make a little speech. Which was very short, and I could feel my hands shaking for 5-10 minutes afterwards. :|
Anyway, down to business. Later we went to Hilde's parents place and had coffee & cake. So far so good.. but after some time I started thinking negatively and with anxiety and shame for my lack of ability to cope socially. What had been an OK or good day turned bad. And things in that light of negativity became bad, so that the whole day felt rotten and shitty. In such a cycle there seems to be some emotional hyperfocus, where I can tell exactly what's happening on the social/personal level between people. So, I guess that's a feature, at times when I'm tense or focused I'm easily able to tell what's happening by reading facial expressions and other things. But at the same time, I'm bombing my own mind with negative thoughts and feelings.
But, I managed to pull things together afterwards, and had an hour or so with talk and such with others. I think I managed to pull together because, today, I have a fairly good life (status) and something to "brag about" plus 2 very important people (Hilde and Isak).0
But is this Bipolar or Schizophrenia? I'm not sure. I know now when I think back, I've had periods where I'm helpless and bomb myself with negative thoughts (it is hard to describe the emotional impact), but you can say that such a negative feedback-loop becomes so bad that you don't get sad any longer, it is just negative thoughts and anxiety and confusion, fatigue, agression and compulsion. And something negative said by someone else can be devastating, unless the "shield is up" and I press on no matter what.
Today had such a negative cycle that lasted for an hour or two, but the preceeding week or so had been fairly good, so I was able to be sad afterwards instead of just turning into some sort of emotional zombie where emotional and mental "noise/storm" was the result.
And I feel now that I'm exhausted. This crap can tear you down, time after time.
A coping mechanism I've developed since childhood perhaps, is that I daydream and think that I am great in some ways, and "read a lot into" things I read, hear or say. That's fine and dandy, but also a bit weird as there is a disconnect with reality.
So, I can dream and think I'm something, and sometimes those daydreams and perceptions can be good. But it is also a downside, as one of those negative cycles get really bad, because not only are things difficult, you "daydream" a lot of negative things too. So that life in essence becomes a nightmare you can't escape from.
And then there's the compulsion to fix things. Not myself directly, but I read, think and try to fix things and work on things. And then things that a "normal" person would see as straightforward I mull over and just about everything takes an effort.
I find the writing therapeutical right now and could've written more, but I have to go.
[Later..] Some units of alcohol later, things are fine and dandy.
And the negative self-bombing thing. Well, to explain it, things in recent events come back in a negative light, and then other things that have happened in the past also come back with a vengeance. Jokes, things I've said and done. It sounds like the deep depression thing from BiPolar. But the thing is I haven't felt very "euphoric" for longer periods of time, or at least I can't remember them as such.
I don't know if this rubber-band backlash effect is because of unprosessed (undiscussed) events or something else.
On 300 mg of Seroquel now, plus 30-45 mg of Truxal. I think that helps a lot.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [14 Mar 19:32 GMT+1]
A Saturday with chicken wings and cider
So, I'm on my 3rd pint of cider now, just relaxing on a Saturday. These last couple of days I've come closer to my real self I think.I'm in the TOP research project now (http://www.med.uio.no/forskning/tematisk/top/), helping science with psychosis-related issues and the carrot is that they'll give me me an evaluation of what the possible causes of my problems are.
I've been at two visits at TOP now where they ask questions and such, the last visit was OK, but afterwards I felt a bit annoyed as if they questioned my ability to answer honestly. It is kind of strange when your state of mind for the last 10-15 years has been in a flux of sorts and you're asked to accurately define your experiences. Although this depressed, sad feeling I have right now is something I *have* had for periods in that time. I think it has been at times combined with a feeling of being exhausted as if you've just sprinted for a while without warming up first.
Anyway, since I started having big problems towards the end of last year I've been to observation, gotten medicines etc. and talked to doctors, psychologists and so on.
I visited some website about Schizophrenia last week and had an epiphany for an hour or two that "That's me!" but then it went away again.
They say Bipolar and Schizophrenia are difficult to differantiate, so I guess the gene tests and brain scans on the TOP project will give some hard data.
The latest papers from the diagnosing doctor says "Unspecified Schizophrenia" which as I've read also happens to be the most regular variant.
I know I've done some dumb things in the past, and that's to a lesser or greater degree grade my own fault, but it'll be good to get an explanation of why. Not an excuse, but an explanation.
I guess most people do dumb things in the start of their lives, and then it is the opportunity (obligation?) to turn things around and help others in trouble as well as yourself.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [20 Feb 14:51 GMT+1]
Moving forward
Today I had a pretty good day. Played some Call of Duty with Vebjørn, which was stressful at times, but it felt good afterwards. Walking a little and taking my meds helps. There was a Norwegian soldier who got killed a little while ago by a roadbomb.. it feels kinda lame in a way to play war games when I never was in the military, and seeing people make such sacrifices, but I'll try to contribute in my way.It has been tough lately, but there are also good moments.. I'm glad I have Hilde and Isak, and Isak is starting to be a lot of fun where he responds a bit. Both Hilde and I think he looks like some character that could be from "Barne-TV" (kids hour on the regional broadcaster NRK). It is great fun to blow him quickly in the face, he gulps a bit, blinks his eyes and smiles. Simple joys.
I've found myself in a way these last months, gotten on the right track it seems.. atleast when I'm with Hilde. She's the CEO of the house, and that's OK. This is a good moment, but there are difficult times too, but I manage to feel good now and then.
Some years ago I did create lots of graphics with The GIMP, and I'm thinking of going back to that perhaps.. express things that are there in the subconsious. A bit therapeutic too. Maybe do some programming/graphical thing.
The meds are a story in themselves.. I don't know how long I'll have to take them (maybe forever), and in that case I'll have to cut down on drinking (which isn't a big loss). They drive up the apetite too, and that's something I'll have to watch since I've always been a bit.. dietically challenged.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [30 Jan 21:15 GMT+1]
Hanging in there
So I'm hanging in there.. getting to talk to a psychologist and then later they'll do more thorough tests including scans..I'm working a little, and it feels good to work a bit. Keeps the juices flowing as they say. It is good to get support, care and understanding from friends.. Dave (aktivnett.no) says that I should crawl-walk-run, and crawling seems about right now. ;)
The meds are helping, but getting a fix on "reality" is somewhat difficult. Some nosebleeds, including feeling, no, *being* knocked out and having a stuffed nose an hour or two after taking the meds are side effects. I tried drinking 2 pints of beer some hours before taking the meds the other day and had jello-legs when walking to the bed.
(The medication is a generic substitute for Seroquel, google it and see..)
I feel tired too, not sure if that's the illness or the cure.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [26 Jan 16:39 GMT+1]
Mental help
So, I'm getting some mental (therapy...) help now. Been mostly away from home the last week.Got some tough work to do. :|
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [21 Nov 18:01 GMT+1]
Shotgun approach!
I went to see the doctor today to get my (partial) sick-leave extended.. there we discussed medicines and such and he convinced me I should give that a try too.So I got a prescription for Zoloft and took the first pill today. In sum I'm: talking to a the-rapist (haha), reading self-help books, ditching caffeine and taking medicine.
If that doesn't work, I don't know what will. If I had more time and money I'd do more therapist sessions and self-help, but I don't. I've got work to do.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [OCD (Atom feed)] [06 Nov 00:21 GMT+1]
Ditching caffeine (pretty much)
In my quest to rid my self of OCD and other issues I'm going to cut down on the caffeine, maybe completely or I'll dare myself to drinking a cup of coffee each day. It sucks because they have really, really good caffe latte here at the local mall.I'll let you know how it goes.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [OCD (Atom feed)] [05 Nov 00:51 GMT+1]
Prescription book
After a couple of hours with the psychologist, I've now gotten my hands on "Feeling good" - a book by D. Burns.Website here:
http://www.feelinggood.com/
(Yes I know, sales opportunity there, design and such could be better..)
I've started reading a bit and so far I'm optimistic. They make good arguments that you can change the way your brain works without using prescription drugs (such as SSRIs) and I'm thinking "Yes I can". ;)
I'm all for using as little medicine as possible, that's something I have from my mom I guess who has worked and is still working in the health sector.
Anyway, after trying to "fix" myself and cope in various ways for many years it feels good to be guided and helped by someone who is trained and pretty much nailed my state of mind on the first session. Which is good since the psychologist charges an arm and a leg an hour (around 165 USD per hour).
Reading books can be good, but when it comes to self-help, I think having a guide and help and then reading books to speed up / help the process is the key.
Fuck OCD, I think it stole a big chunk of my happy parts of life and fuck me for letting it. ;)
I just hope something good comes out of it all..
[Permalink] [By morphex] [OCD (Atom feed)] [03 Nov 22:58 GMT+1]
OCD
Since the last couple of weeks have been rough, and that I take the responsibility of being a good father very seriously, I went to see a psychologist today.I explained how I felt and thought about things, and he hinted that I might have OCD, which is explained here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive-compulsive_disorder
I thought that was a perfect match. I didn't delve much deeper into it, as I think knowing too much about the treatment process might taint the treatment itself. I don't know whether it is physiological or psychological, but we'll see..
Anyway, I found a Norwegian support group:
http://www.ananke.no/
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [20 Oct 23:15 GMT+1]
Haematomachrosis
So, a couple of months ago I got the diagnosis haematomachrosis:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haematomachrosis
It is an iron-overload disorder, where the intestines absorb too much iron from the diet, which results in too much iron in the blood as well as iron sediments being deposited in major organs such as the heart, liver etc. (This could be helpful where there is little iron available in the diet, bug or feature you be the judge).
Anyway, I've been on dailystrength.org:
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Hemochromatosis/forum/8058404...
Where another person with the same condition listed up some symptoms, such as anxiety, fatigue, depression and IBS. Trust me, I can relate to that. My teens were pretty rough and I thought the anxiety (which I got medication for) was a result of that. But now that I've been "phlebbed" (drained for blood) 3-4 times, I feel great. I mean, I *feel*, I'm energetic and most of the time it feels like I'm using 1% of my brain, even if I'm doing complex tasks. I think I've been depressed for a long time as well, because how I'm feeling now can't compare..
When I was maybe 14-15 I remember my (at the time) girlfriend commenting on how much I slept, her dad noticing as well. Since that time I've had a need to sleep a lot, maybe 10-12 hours per day.
Now, I think this condition was triggered somewhere in my early teens, but maybe I've had it most of my life. But I guess boys are brought up this way, to be tough and suck it up and not complain. So for the last 15 or so years I've been dragging around this extra weight, being emotionally numb and drained for energy.
I've tried most things, including a long stretch of 1-2 years where I exercised rigorously and ate properly, but nothing helped.
It is kinda funny that all I needed was a little old-fashioned bloodletting to get up to and beyond par.
So, what's the lesson here? Mmm.. Ask for help is one. Another is, if you're not feeling well, chase up the health system until you get help. It took 3 different doctors before one finally bothered to take my high iron levels seriously and thanks to that, I have a new life.
So, now that I feel much more, I've quit smoking and expect a baby to arrive in a couple of weeks, my life is really an emotional rollercoaster. But, paraphrasing.. it is better to have felt than to never have felt at all. ;)
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [02 Oct 21:57 GMT+1]
Something for my back
Monday and Wednesday this week I've been hiking up a mountain here in Mo i Rana where I'm on .. "workation" :) It is a great exercise, tough, but I can feel it is improving my body.It is something the chiropractor recommended, who I've been visiting now a couple of times. Interestingly, he told me that chiropractors weren't recommended by doctors as they can compete with doctors.
Well, I'm kind of holding my breath here, hoping this chiropractor treatment + walking in varied (and soft) terrain will help. Tired of chugging down painkillers. A couple of people with back problems I've talked with have recommended chiropractors and they have gotten well quick, but now that I've had this back conditition for a while, it will probably take a while to get well too.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [02 Jul 01:22 GMT+1]
Fat and happy
A couple of years ago I was working out really hard.. I've never been a jock so I decided I'd try out being really fit.Now I'm a bit heavier than in my "fit period", but I'm happy. I eat what I want pretty much when I want and I don't spend a lot of time working out. I should get out and walk more often though.
I guess my "fit period" was just a daze I was in trying to find the up/down, left/right in life. I blame all the models and clothing people pushing their photoshopped images of people who can't do much else than work out and eat salads.
A bit FU to bad role models and a big grouphug to the big & tall and round & small.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [21 Jun 01:23 GMT+1]
eq != iq
Yesterday I went to my first appointment with the physiotherapist, which was an interesting and fun experience.Roger was his name, a swede that had lived in Alta (Northern Norway) for 12 years and now living in Oslo.
I think we went on for about 30 minutes, but time flied by as we were busy talking about soccer, spurred by Rosenborg - my favorite and home-town team, owning Valencia in Tuesdays Champions League match. I've never seen Rosenborg kick that much butt against a formidable opponent like Valencia.
The physiotherapist pulled, massaged, twisted and whatever - using a strap at times so he could use his own body weight to pull my leg. Yes, literally, he was pulling my leg. :)
Interesting experience. I've never been .. "handled" by a guy before, but it was totally OK and I'm sure that's thanks to Roger who was able to keep it casual by talking and being friendly.
After the treatment I could lift my leg up higher without experiencing pain, whether that was in my head or an actual improvement I'm not sure. But I think so.
My respect and appreciation for health care professionals grows by each day.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Sciatica (Atom feed)] [08 Nov 13:44 GMT+1]
Sucking it up
This Sciatica thing has been bugging me for 4-5-6 weeks now, and it goes up and down, but it is always there. Last Monday I took some x-rays and the doctor should have them soon, so I guess it's just about waiting to hear what the doctor has to say about it.Speaking to my mom (back problems are a common thing, and women talk-talk-talk :) a couple of days ago, I learned that these things can be for life. You can operate and such but it isn't certain that an operation will fix the problem and there may be relapses.
The proper exercise, stretches and such can help, and could be a better or complementary alternative to having an operation.
For me, the Sciatica isn't so bad, a combination of two different painkillers up to 3 times a day is taking the edge off things, and taking these isn't affecting me much (that I can notice anyway) except taking the pain away. I'm a little bit worried about the long-term effect of these pills on the stomach and liver though.
Experiencing this really makes me reconsider my lifestyle and how I treat my body. I exercise and I'm probably more fit now than ever before, but my guess is that a bad working posture has been one of the things that has led to this. I have a couple of vices, and maybe I should give up those as well, before it is too late.
Maybe.. :)
Oh well, it isn't so bad. I can work, exercise, walk (with a pimp limp!), talk and function relatively normally. Remembering what my mom always told me when I was younger: you should be grateful you can walk, talk and do completely normal things. She should know, after having worked with physically disabled people for most of her adult life.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Sciatica (Atom feed)] [22 Oct 01:41 GMT+1]
It's times like these
I'm glad I pay my taxes.Went to the doctor today and did some more tests; looks like there is indeed a herniated disk.. That means taking X-rays and going to a physiotherapist.
Fortunately I don't have to pay much for this, thanks to the public health system we have here in Norway.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Sciatica (Atom feed)] [09 Oct 12:14 GMT+1]
Sciatica
Some weeks ago I got a shooting pain in my right leg, and couldn't figure out what was causing it. So shortly after I went to the "emergency doctor" and got a diagnose of Lumbago/Sciatica.I've read quite a bit about Sciatica on the net so I have an understanding of what it is and what to do about it, but it seems like I'll have to get some professional help to fix it.
My personal trainer Peter gave me some stretching exercises which should fix things, but that hasn't helped much so far.
So it's probably a disc herniation or something that's "locked" back there, so professional help is the next logical step and I'll see my doctor in a couple of days to see if something can be arranged.
I'm getting tired of chugging down painkillers in any case, getting through the maximum recommended amount for two different painkiller brands per day, and I'd rather be without it.. but what can you do, it's either that or have shooting pains.. the first day I took those pills I just had to lay down and relax for a while - it took the wind out of me.
Oh well, what doesn't kill you etc. ;)
Bonus link: interesting article on how to treat Sciatica:
http://www.bodybuildingforyou.com/articles-submit/jesse-cann...
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [08 Oct 02:28 GMT+1]
It's a damn shame
This morning I was taking the bus home, and had to stop by the "city centre" to take the second leg of the bus trip. I ended up on a "nachspiel" night to Saturday and started the trip home around 8 Saturday morning.When I stopped in the city centre there was around 20 minutes of waiting time before my bus home arrived, so I decided to get some food.
When I walked towards the 7-11 to get some grub, a 18-19-20-ish year old girl stopped me and asked if I had some "blablabla" (don't remember what it was). I said no and asked what that was.
She explained it was morphine, and I asked her, "what is a cute girl like you wasting your life on stuff like that for?" (she was cute). She didn't give any sensible answer so I said I would go to the store to get some food and come back afterwards (to continue chatting).
I got some food and came back to the place where she was standing, but then she was gone, and I wondered where she went.
I couldn't see her anywhere so I ended up taking the next bus home, and on the way back I found myself wiping some tears every 5 minutes, thinking it was a damn shame a cute girl like her would stand on a street corner early in the morning asking for drugs, because she had some pain to numb.
I have friends who smoke on occasion, and I don't mind smoking myself if the occasion is right, to have an alternative to drinking. I find it makes me very creative in the following weeks. But abusing drugs to numb pain is just.. sad, and it is a shame that drugs are illegal, since people who abuse drugs have issues. I'm sure if alcohol was the only drug available, you would have people who abused it to the .. level of heroin addicts abuse heroin.
I hope we get a drug law similar to what they have in the Netherlands here in Norway, and that focus is put on helping people with issues instead of punishing them (and hoping that will fix things).
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [14 Apr 09:40 GMT+1]
Slight cold
The last couple of days I've had a bit of a cold, so there's not much to do except relax, type away at the computer and wait for it to pass.Kinda sucks not being able to go to the gym or taking walks (the weather is pretty bad) - but on the other hand, I do get a lot of excessive energy which makes me more productive.
Nothing is so bad that it isn't good for something, I guess.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [05 Apr 21:49 GMT+1]
Woken up by light
I love sleeping - I sleep a lot.Lately I've been starting to wake up around 8-8:30 thanks to the light that's coming in through the window, which is nice.
Starting to think that maybe I'm missing a lot since I sleep as much as I do, and maybe some sort of lighting rig is in order.
Waking up from natural light sure beats any alarm clock and sure enough, some googling produces interesting results:
http://www.outsidein.co.uk/bodyclock.htm
now when it is going towards the summer I guess it isn't necessary, but maybe it is something for the winter..
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [14 Mar 10:13 GMT+1]
I can believe that
http://science.slashdot.org/science/07/03/13/1638245.shtmlExercise boosts your intelligence, and just about anything else. After talking to people in the gym, I've gotten a new respect for people who actively work out. Some people's knowledge about exercise and their ability and willingness to experiment with different training techniques and intake of nutrients, and the systematic way in which they do it makes them researchers and innovators in my eyes. And it's also a great deal of discipline involved - discipline to the point that you learn to enjoy pain (no pain no gain..)
Now, the prize for doing this exercise thing isn't exactly money (directly anyway) - but you'll find droves of info supporting that exercise and the intake of the "right stuff" will do wonders for your body and it will probably lengthen your lifespan as well. So you get quality *and* quantity.
Back in the day I might've labelled people as "muscle heads", but many are very intelligent - and that they speak in simple terms shows that they're intelligent (vs. intellectual).
So, learning as I go..
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [13 Mar 19:50 GMT+1]
Obese
Well, I ordered a body fat measurement tool and got it in the mail today (the Creatine also arrived, yay!). I got a bit of a surprise when the body fat "counter" said I had 26.7% body fat, which is considered obese.I don't think anyone (normal) would call me fat these days, but doing the math it kinda makes sense. I probably have 1-2 KGs of fat around the stomach and some pounds here and there. So my goal towards the summer is to go down to around 20% body fat. That's roughly another 5 KGs of fat so if things progress like they have been doing until now, that should be possible in the next 2-3 months.
That should be my goal, and I'm also considering a partial or full vegetarian diet - but getting enough of the right proteins could be a bit tricky, since I'm also on a training schedule.
My mouth fills with water when thinking about all the tasty vegetarian food I ate with Vinay while staying in India. I'll have to start making some myself or visit Bangalore again. ;)
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [10 Mar 13:56 GMT+1]
Doing the math, part 2
Well, I got a little surprise at the gym today. Just for fun I checked my weight again and now I was down 5.5 KGs since the start of this year.I guess it varies on the amount of water, goo and stuff you have in your body, the time of day and so on - but wow. That's a 1.5KG difference in two days.
Anyway, the people at the gym are nice and helpful. Discussed whether Creatine could be helpful and they said it was helpful in gaining extra "juice" while working out, as well as buffing the muscle mass since Creatine helps the muscles bind more water.
So I ordered a box of Creatine today and will start using that next week, look forward to seeing the results.
There's a study that suggests Creatine helps boost the brain as well:
http://www.sciencenews.org/articles/20030816/fob4.asp
for veggies at least. More about Creatine supplements here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creatine_supplements
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [09 Mar 11:22 GMT+1]
Doing the math
Today I started working out at a new gym, as we decided the company should pay for our gym expenses. It was a nice place with lots of equipment and space.Did the regular thing with 30 minutes of cardio and then 2-3 strength related exercises and got some tips from one of the guys who worked there, on how to focus on certain muscle groups and improve the results.
They also had a weight there, so I checked my weight and lo and behold, I've lost 4 KGs since the start of this year. Doing the math, that's 4000 (grams) * 9 (calories) = 36000 calories, which amounts to about 600 ((4000*9)/60) calories per day or about 0.5 KGs of fat per week.
That's a healthy weight reduction, and I must say that I'm happy with the results, even after having a weekend here and there with partying and extra food.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [07 Mar 12:07 GMT+1]
Clogged up again
Well, it is time for another visit to the doctor. Think my right ear is getting clogged up again with earwax, even if I use q-tips and some do-it-yourself ear cleaning kits.Hopefully I'll get a same day appointment, it is a quick operation anyway.. 5 minutes and done.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [13 Feb 06:53 GMT+1]
Appreciating it while you've got it
Lately I've started have problems hearing properly, especially on my left ear. I was scared I might have blown my hearing by using too high of a volume on my headphones (which I wear pretty much all the time when I'm on the computer, which is at least 10 hours a day).Well, it turns out there was just a bit of earwax that had built up, in both ears. I suspected this a while ago and bought one of those do-it-yourself clean-your-ear kits with a device to flush and all.. turns out I didn't use enough pressure on it so the earwax didn't come out.
In each ear there was a big lump of earwax (the doc showed it to me).. gross, but also interesting in a weird way.
Anyway, got a bit of a scare, now I appreciate my hearing a bit more.
[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [07 Apr 16:44 GMT+1]